The Gowl Opette
Pissue:  65      Age:  3
Bludgers in the Common Room
An Innocent Crane Bystander
With their over zealous win recently, Brodi and Billy, decided to practice beating Bludgers, unfortunately this practice took place in the common room! The two boys, strattling their brooms with their Beater bats in hand, began to whack Bludgers around the teal & copper colored common room. The lamp near the window was first casualty with the floor lamp by the dorm stairs was second. Samuel Craft was the first human casualty when he entered the room from the portal and was hit in the chest by Brodi's Bludger. After gaining his composure, Samual began to chase both Beaters trying to grab the bats. Bryony come down the dorm stairs after hearing the ruckus and joined Sam in trying to stop the boys. Both the Beaters were laughing wildly as if insane and it was later discovered that Makayla Malfoy had accidentally  cast the wrong spell at them earlier and this was what made them break all rules about brooms, Bludgers, and bats in the common room.
New Dust Cloths!
Billywig
It was recently discovered in the Penshire common room, a few boxes containing items that were yellow and black in nature. Not sure what to do with these, surely misplaced, Hufflepuff items, Professor Ripley began to dust around the place using the new rags. "I know, I know," she said, "that the house elves do this, but I just had a need to fuss around and saw these lovely rags and thought, why not?"
Others decided to join in and all the sudden the whole student body of Penshire were dustings and cleaning up the common room with the errant rags. "Spring cleaning is good for the soul!" said the Assistant Head of House, Professor Kat who happily passed out more yellow and black cloths. Just then, Keato found another box and before he could open it, a new Penshire student came into the room and seeing what was going on, went totally MENTAL. Seems they were her things, oppies!
Survivor Survives!
Magnus Crane
Yes, yes, they are really HUGE fans of the Muggle show on the telly and each season a topic is opened in the Chit-chat area to discuss the latest challenges, camp like, personalities and the Tribal Council. Bryony Casten, a Survivor wanna-be, is usually the starter of the thread. Bry has been trying out for the show for the past couple of seasons and will make it someday, we all hope. She promises to give a 'shout-out' to PADs in one of her private confessionals on the show. Being a fan since the beginning, many in the house point out the failures of current tribe mates such as 'what were they thinking wearing that?' and 'didn't any of these people ever watch the show?' as we see them wear stupid things or do really dumb stuff. Other Penshires in the conversation is the Head of House, a big fan too since the beginning, Evan Murdoch, Billy Raven, and Adrianna Reyes. So after each show, the discussion heats up and are fun to watch. We hope that Bry gets her wish and will be pulling for her when, not if, she gets on the show! By the way, this show is what one of the most popular activities in the Shire is based on, Penvivor, the brainchild of Bryony and Samuel Craft! We can't wait to have another one soon!
Switching Titles for a Day
Magnus Crane
In an effort to be more empathic with the efforts of different house staff, the Cranes decided to switch it up for a day. Professor Kat ran the house as HOH and Professor Ripley became an Assistant Prefect. Samuel Craft took the place as Head Girl, though it went pretty smoothly he continued to complain about the 'dress'. Keato became Assistant Head of House and Emmaline became Senior Prefect, both taking on a lot of responsibility. Faith moved up into the Prefect position left open by Em and Cauly took the other left open by Keato. Bry moved down to Assistant Prefect to keep Amanda and Professor Ripley Company. How'd it go? Well, Kat went mad with power and totally wiped out the common room, similar to what happens at end of term. Sam, as you know, complained about the 'female attire' but those quickly subsided once he saw the boots. Keato did pretty well, but had his hands full with all the 'where's my locker thread', and 'why are the dorms empty', and 'I liked that game', all complaints do to Kat's over jealousness to clean out the place. Em rather enjoyed her new position so if I was Sam I'd watch my back! And poor Professor Ripley, seemed the staff handled everything and left her sitting in the corner, alone, mumbling about worms and loyalty until Bry and Amanda brought over a deck of cards and Uno took their minds off the mess.
Penshire's next top model?
Brodi Honor's Number 1 fan!
A new buzz is rushing across Hogwarts; it's the race to see who will become Penshire's Next Top Model! The amazingly awesome Brodi Honor is rumored to be hosting the brand new event inspired over the Muggle series. While everything is in the rumour state, Brodi couldn't stop showing his dazzling smile when asked about the possibility of the event. "I wont say if it's going to happen or not, but what Hogwarts needs is some photogenic characters!"

So who could really become Penshire's Next Top Model? Will Samuel Craft give his profile picture the show? or will Professor Ripley show the students how it's done? We can only hope!!!
Penshire Prattle
Magnus
Again we saw about 20 new students enter the house, but because we are alreeady full, we sent them packing! We are tired of putting up with these new students who want a place to have fun, find friends, and be creative.
Later we found said students hanging out in the Great Hall talking among themselves about starting a new house and calling it the 'Castaways'.
Paddingon to close?
By Joe Nworb
There have been recent reports that PAD's Hogwarts has been putting the possibility of closing the new house just added last year, Paddington.
"I knew this was a dumb idea in the first place to add a new house, and I hope we never do this again," said Prof. Alba Dumbledore when asked about the situation.

The current plan, also made by PAD, will banish everything that ever had to do with Paddington, including the Students. It would transfer every student of the house to Orphanage for Outcasted Wizards, or the OOW. This plan is will go into effect after the entire school voted for the change, 4-2. Voting against the change is Ravenclaw and Paddington.
Battle of the Celebrities in the RCR
Ravenclaw House
In a simple battle of Harry Potter celebrities in the common room, it was pretty obvious who was a fan of who. The line up contained Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, Emma Thompson, Matthew Lewis, Sean Biggerstaff, Bonnie Wright, Oliver Phelps, James Phelps, and Christian Coulson.  Of course, Dan, like always, was the first to be eliminated.  After a while, Isabella and Ashley were posting one after the other, Isabella rooting for Alan Rickman and taking off points for Rupert and Ashley vice versa - eliminating each other�s post.

Fast forwarding, Rupert Grint, Alan Rickman, and Matthew Lewis were the only characters left, and it seems as though Jacyn, Ashley, and I decided to have a posting battle amongst ourselves. When Ashley looked away, Jacyn and I decided to get rid of dear Rupert.  Ashley wasn�t too pleased�.
Ashley: WHAT IS THIS!!?? *cries in the corner for the loss of her Rupert*
Jacyn: *Hugs Ashley* I give up. You all apparently hate Neville that much. I'll go with it :/
Eventually, it became a conversation beneath posts trying to get people on their side�
Jacyn: ((Finally, someone to help my side!))
Wildas: Rickman's much too old! And Matthew Lewis is a great Neville!
I'LL JOIN YOU WHEN PURGATORY FREEZES OVER! DUMBLEDORE'S ARMY!
Ashley: As sweet and awesome as Neville is...I have to say that Alan Rickman really ROCKS MY FUZZY SOCKS! :P
Arya: I'll have to agree with Ashley. Alan Rickman is amazing!
Eris: Oh my gosh, Alan Rickman is incredible!
Ashley: THE GAME IS DONE! ALAN RICKMAN IS THE WINNER! WHOOOO!
Ashley got over Rupert pretty quickly to me!

But of course, it was my mistake in thinking that�
Ashley: NO!!!! RUPERT IS STILL MY HERO!!!!
The Bird Wars
By A. Ravencrow
Ravenclaw had a Post War and broke into two teams; it was a �bird� themed event with the Ravens against the Crows. Both these, in real life, are a noisy lot; you can imagine the sounds coming from the common room during this activity. There were two threads open for spamming but everyone was encouraged to post all over the place. And running tally was kept during the event to let the teams know where they stood. At one point or another, the Crows were ahead, then the Ravens and back it forth it went. Teams included staff on both sides and even the newer students got on board. In the end, the Ravens won with 2606 posts and the Crows had 2258. A great effort by both teams and plenty of fun!
Soccer not Hogwarts bustle
John Andersson - Quidditch Enthusiast
Quidditch is the game for everyone involved in the magical world, if you're not playing the game then you are cheering on your team for victory! But a few students in the school have failed to fall victim to the Soccer bite. Brodi Honor lay a football in front of Shalamar Magoo with her response given as "It's a lot softer than a Quaffle ".
Brodi Honor quickly sat back and accepted defeat once he had tried to convince his Beater brother Billy Raven into the game. Throwing the Soccer ball around the classroom didn't have the same destructive effect as a Bludger and everyone knew that it was going to be no fun. Why kick a ball when you can whack one at ridiculous speeds? Thank you Brodi Honor, but no Soccer for Hogwarts. We're happy with our Quidditch.
Teagan Kincade and Cedric Cenn F�elad: It's the Season of New Begininings
- Gage Gamble Thoroughly
This just in: Teagan Kincade of Penshire, and Head Boy, Cedric Cenn F�elad have been sighted holding hands and giggling in a corner of Flourish and Blotts. Who'd have thought the odd couple would find common ground talking about dressing a Quaffle up in huge sunglasses? It's reported they're about to make their way over to Madame Puddifoot's for a tea date. Nothing says spring romance like a nice cup of hot tea. Members of the Cenn F�elad Suitors are encouraged to press their faces up against the windows in the hopes of spotting interesting tidbits. In a like manner, all gentlemen belonging to Kincade's Cavaliers are asked to follow the ladies' leads.
The Terror Triplets???
By A Terror Stalker (S)
Rumor has it that Hogwarts� very own Terror Twins, Gred Weasley of Slytherin and Gawyn Crossguard of Gryffindor, are holding auditions for a third mischief maker to join them in their chaos-causing, havoc-wrecking ways. Is this true? Are the Terror Twins really expanding? Will we see rise to the Terror Triplets in the near future? Who are the possible candidates for such a position? A reliable source tells me that the Terror Twins have a master plot in the making, could this be part of it? Unfortunately, neither Terror was available to answer any questions at this time.
Budding New Narcissist to Outdo Professor Lockhart?
Speculator Simmons
Crane
Everyone knows of the prestigious Gilderoy Lockhart, Professor at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. How could anyone not know him, with all his posters, his free autographs, and his blindingly white teeth? In fact, how could anyone miss his lavender robes as he struts down the halls? Or his booming voice, using theatrical techniques of projecting, that can be heard two floors above him? Indeed, everyone knows of Professor Lockhart, of his infatuation with mirrors, with himself.
But does anyone know of the newest narcissist to grace Hogwarts's halls? Of the shiny teal student? Brodi Honor of Penshire has reportedly been seen strutting in front of the mirrors in the mens' restrooms, watching himself and occasionally experimenting with different ways of walking. It has also been reported that Honor has been flooing possible agents for hosting a fashion show in London this summer. Could an autobiography be next? More importantly, who will reflect off the the castle's shiny surfaces the most: Professor Gilderoy Lockhart or Brodi Honor, Penshire Student?
LAUNDRY WARNING
TK
When doing your laundry, the first and most important thing to remember to do is sort your clothing! I made the mistake of lumping all of mine together in my hamper and leaving it out for the house elves. Usually, I just put all of my different colors and themes together. Apparently, things in the Penshire common room do not work the same as in the Hufflepuff common room. I had put my Hufflepuff robes and the like in my hamper as I normally did and then went to study some more. When I came downstairs from my dorm some hours later, I saw everybody using all of my Hufflepuff clothing to dust the entire place! It was all basically ruined! Luckily, the house elves in the castle know what they're doing with the laundry, or I would have no clothing to wear until my Penshire clothes came into the shop.
So a warning to all of you who still want things to wear: SORT YOUR LAUNDRY.
Is Cupid Still Flying Around?
By: Angel McCartney
It seems to me that even with Valentine's Day long gone we still have a cupid flying around trying to match the perfect couple. Sources tell me we have MM who likes BR, but does BR like MM? Personally I think they'd be adorable. Then we have EM who seems to like SC and SC seems to like her back, or is that just me? I guess time will tell. Oh and we can't forget about KS who likes YC and he seems to like her back. But KS has a problem because it seems she has another guy, CC, who likes her. Which will she choose? I guess we have to wait and see the route Cupid chooses for them.
Seeing Double?
By Tyler Keegan
Recently a new Paddington joined the ranks by the name of Shaina Longbottom. There was something vaguely familiar about her that no one could really put their finger on until she got her avatar & signature. As luck would have it, she looks exactly like Josie Machi, the girlfriend of Toby McDermont! Was this planned to fool Toby into thinking Josie had returned from her absence? Or is it possible the girls were separated at birth? Another explanation might be someone dabbling with Polyjuice Potion. But why would someone want to impersonate Toby's girlfriend on purpose? Is Toby that irresistible that girls are falling all over themselves to look like his girlfriend in hopes to spend a little time with him? Whatever the case may be, Josie needs to get back to the CR as soon as she can in order to keep tabs on Toby! Accidental look-alikes or purposeful planning, something's amiss in Paddington!
Paddington Privvy
With April Fools Day amongst the midst of Paddington, this month it has been excruciatingly difficult to separate fact from fiction. However, with the help of multiple anonymous sources, I've been able to accomplish the task to the best of my ability. The stand-out rumor that has come up this month is, again the motives of Professor Tom Riddle, renowned Dark Lord and Head of Paddington. Recently Tom has separated the House into two tribes for a competition. Word has it that he is doing this in an attempt to square the house off against one another and gain full control, eliminating any Prefects and eventually using Paddington as a base to take control of the school. Rumor of Fact, I'd keep a watchful eye on Professor Riddle.
On a separate note, questions are surrounding the Paddington Quidditch Team and mainly their Captain and Co-Captain. Joe Norwb and Lana Laramie are the known Captain and Co-Captain, but do they have true control over the team, or is there a figure in the background pulling the strings? Sources say yes, and that this figure is nobody but the Prefect Assistant Katie Sawyer. Sawyer is known to be very essential in Paddington and is even said to be the article of affection of a male member in the house who remains unknown. It is said that Sawyer has both Lana and Joe on the payroll and is working to make sure that her agenda is run by the team, and that's it. Rumor or not, I think it's time for the Paddington staff to get a tighter leash on one of their own.
NO HARD FEELINGS Prof. Tommy and Katie!!
Two Houses, Both Alike In Dignity
By: Kalie Black
Gryffindor and Slytherin are both in an uproar after the disappearance of two of their members: Gred Weasley, Slytherin, and Audrea Martin, Gryffindor. The two were last seen tiptoeing down the corridor and disappearing behind the tapestry of Uric the Oddball with his jellyfish.
Some will remember this famous couple from the incident last month where Sir Gawyn Crossguard of Gryffindor challenged Weasley�s best friend, Eltanin Wemyss, Slytherin, to a duel. Although Crossguard defeated Wemyss, he was decidedly slain in retaliation by Weasley after fighting valiantly for Audrea's honor. (There are rumors that his ghost has been seen haunting the Astronomy Tower. More information to come in later articles). Tensions between the two Hogwarts Houses, notorious for there rivalry, have escalated with the discovery of Martin and Weasley's relationship after Crossguard's defeat. Shoving in the corridors, insults flying in the classrooms, and even food fights in the Great Hall are all examples of how Gryffindor and Slytherin have reacted to news of this union.
And now the two lovebirds have disappeared. But where, as everyone is no doubt asking, have they gone?
There are many different theories regarding the missing couple. Teagan Kincade of Penshire swore she saw the two "loping through Hogsmeade", "picking daisies", and generally looking "sparkly in love." Others had more serious interpretations. Sam Craft of Penshire said that Weasley was �probably in hiding since he killed that Gryffindor guy�. While Raelyn Ethania of Ravenclaw took this one step further by suggesting that Weasley had probably killed Audrea and was in hiding from the Aurors. John Chang of Hufflepuff, when asked for his opinion, had no comment, but after further coaxing revealed that he thought the whole thing was a �tragedy� and Damien Spikes of Paddington added that it "definitely wasn't a comedy�. Not quite sure what they meant by that.
Roxanne Weasley, Gryffindor and one time significant other to the deceased Gryffindor, had this to say: �Since when is Crossguard dead?� Poor girl. She�s clearly in denial.
But the most interesting piece of news, and the real dish of this story, comes from Penshire student Emmaline Bagman of Penshire. The sweet, quiet girl confided to me that she saw the two missing students sneaking into a chapel in Hogsmeade just last week. Could the two have been eloping? Or just conspiring to take Holy Orders? I suppose the truth will come out in time.
Till the next, keep the mill turning.
Whoopie Cushions Fire
by John Chang
All around Hogwarts students have been putting Whoopie Cushions everywhere. There have been wars and battles where they smack faces with them. On April 1st students were almost going crazy. I accidently ate a slice of cake with toothpaste for the icing. With whoopie cushions there was one of them for the filling. Gred Weasly didn't need a whoopie cushion to help him go to the kitchens and make a smell salad.
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