 |
| The Owl Gazette |
 |
| Issue: 61 Page: 4 |
 |
| Master of Disguise? Hardly!
By Tyler Keegan Soma Cruz finally made it back into the Paddington common room after a two month absence. You'd think it'd be a happy day for all having him return, but the cheers & warm greetings that would normally follow were stifled after getting one look at Soma's makeover. It's normal after such a long absence to expect to see someone sporting a new hairstyle or wearing a new pair of jeans or something. In this case, though, the changes were much less subtle. Soma has been completely redone from head to toe! I'm not talking just about hair & makeup here, folks...I'm talking about major plastic surgery! On top of that, this "new" Soma seems to drink a whole lot more blood solution than the "old" Soma did. Once upon a time, Soma would show restraint around others, drinking his potion in private away from the public eye. Now he prowls the grounds for meals nightly, even entertaining the thought of feasting on the girls in the house if they're out alone! The Soma we all once knew seems to no longer exist. Could this really be Paddington's long lost Soma? Or........is this just a cheap imposter hired by Dawlish Ledgerwood, the vindictive student who has a hit list a mile long? We all know Soma was on that very list not long ago. What are the chances Dawlish actually fulfilled his plans to wipe Soma off the map & has hired a stand-in to throw us all off the trail? It may sound a little far fetched, & I'd probably be skeptical of the idea, too, if it wasn't for the fact that more than just Soma's appearance has changed. I gotta piece of advice for you, Dawlish...the next time you take someone out & hire a body double to portray them, you might wanna brew them up some Polyjuice Potion first. |
| Rivalry? Or Professional Jealousy?
By Miss Clipboard (R/P) Halloween this year was definitely a memorable one � in more ways than others. This year, instead of joining in with the fun and mayhem, I pulled out my clipboard and quill and wrote down all the interesting things that happened. One thing that I distinctly remember is the burning of Elvis Presley�s side-burns. Such a horrible thing, it was. The whole incident started when detective Miles Edgeworth began interrogating Robin Hood about his bow and arrow. And poor Mr. Presley just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time because, next thing, Robin snatches his side-burns and hands them over to Miles. Despite protests from Mr. Presley, Miles announced to the court (somehow we were in a courtroom) that he was going to �burn the sideburns, because they are of no use to this court.� And he did. Things got pretty nasty from then on. Elvis even went as far to call Mr. Edgeworth a �meanie�. And due to an incident later in the evening involving a dance from Mr. Tyr, my clipboard has scribbles and crossings-out from a jealous Nick Toon character, so I am unable to decipher what the conversation actually was, but Miles said �hit me!� and Elvis gladly did. |
| Blasting Music
By Frankenstein's Monster (Crane) If you are a student here at Hogwarts (which I am not). Then you may have heard a certain penshire student blasting music. It is true, Keato Abbot has recently taken to blasting music from various parts of the castle at odd times of day. So in addition to eating grapes 24/7 Keato seems to have a new obsession of blasting music. Does this mean Hogwarts is doomed by an avalanche waiting to happen? Or should we be opening a shop that sells earplugs? All I know is that Keato has good taste in music. |
| Could It Be a Curse?
By Tyler Keegan Paddington recently received word from PAD that our AHOH, Prof. Montgomery, was leaving the house & we would be getting a replacement, Prof. Morgan. This is the third time we've welcomed a new AHOH to the house. It wouldn't sound so bad if our house has been around as long as the other houses here at Hogwarts, but we've only been in existence for 5 1/2 months! While this should seem like really great news, it makes you stop & wonder.......could the Paddington AHOH position be cursed?! I'd like to be optimistic & feel positive that the third time's the charm, but with the track record we have going it almost makes you wanna just pack Prof. Morgan's bags now & show her the door for her own safety. Maybe the other 2 AHOHs we had got lost in the castle somewhere & just couldn't find their way back to the Paddington cr. Maybe Prof. Tom drives them all away with his incessant flirting. Or maybe the previous AHOHs were actually fired & it was all kept hush hush to spare us our dignity. Whatever the case may be, I only have 1 thing to say...Prof. Morgan, whatever you do, do it carefully! We don't wanna lose you, too, especially now that we finally got you! |
| The Great Battle
By Miss Clipboard (R/P) Shortly after Elvis had his side-burns burnt, Queen Elizabeth the Second decided to end all courtroom debates (or create more mayhem, I haven�t decided which) by throwing Robin Hood�s bow and arrow out the window. Miles did not like this, so he demanded she was arrested. Not liking being told what to do in her own country, The Queen told him he couldn�t do that. So, with that said, Miles took a hold of her, and apparated to Germany, the Queen then apparated back to England. After a few rounds of England vs. Germany, The Queen decided to use her powers for good, not evil, and banished Miles from England. Because he had been banished, Miles called upon a German friend and ordered her to fight The Queen. Not a single person in the room had a clue what Miles was going on about, so The Queen summoned Palace Guards to take the babbling detective away. Oh, and did I mention that the Palace Guards were Jedi? Well, anyway, that�s beside the point, because not too long after, Miles took revenge and threw hot coffee at everyone. Also, because of all the confusion, when I was called upon to inform every one of the events, I summed it all up in only a few short words. �Miles has gone crazy� (and Miles corrected me by saying he already was crazy). |
| S.O.C.K.S
By Brady Lennox Shortly after my arrival here in Paddington, I was approached by a mysterious masked man. Perhaps now is a perfect time to bring to light a unknown fact about myself. To some this masked man may seem odd and out of character for the habitants of Hogwarts. I know there was talk of Jenii and Yax, my former fellow prefects, that they had gotten me out of the way. Let me say this once, it is pure rubbish! Jenii, while power hungry, never attempted to thwart me from power. Yax, most likely was too occupied with captaining his yacht to mastermind any conspiracy plan. I work for the Secret Operations of Konrad Services, or better known as S.O.C.K.S I am an elite secret member and had to go away for training purposes. I was unable to inform anyone of my departure. But the details were taken care of by S.O.C.K.S senior members and thus began my training. Now you may wonder why am I publically announcing my �secret�. I have been granted access to help develop a positive public knowledge of the S.O.C.K.S operation. I will be available for any questions, should your curious minds have any. However I did enjoy Tyler's editorial of my supposed disappearances! If you ever need a job Tyler, S.O.C.K.S is looking to hire! |
| Murder Mysteries
Miss Clipboard (R/P) During the course of Halloween, three unsuspecting partygoers were murdered. Tests have been conducted on DNA, which was found at the scene. And to be sure, hair samples were taken from a random selection of people, just to make sure the DNA found matches our suspect(s). Two of the murders have been correctly solved. The first victim to be found, a young girl, was killed by Mr. Gred Weasley. Evidence also shows that Mr. Weasley had inside help. And his right-hand man wasn�t even human. Yes, that�s right, people. Mr. Weasley attacked the victim with the help of a Labrador. The dog is now in custody, and Mr. Weasley is still on the loose. Fingerprints and hair samples from the punch bowl at the dance also shows that Gred Weasley did not stop at just one. The same DNA on the hair shows the same dog, and the fingerprints match Gred�s from our online database. Toxins found in the beverage and inside the victims� organs, prove that Gred was, yet again, behind this tragedy. The third victim has not yet been identified, and we are still working on the case. Gred Weasley is a dangerous man, and if seen, DO NOT APPROACH!! Instead, call us immediately. Any information could be fatal to this investigation, and we appreciate your help. Also, to answer previous questions; No, there is no reward for the capture of Mr. Weasley. We don�t have enough government funding for that... |
| Popular Christmas Traditions
Cauly 1. Christmas tree 2. Shopping 3. Presents 4. Candy Canes 5. Gingerbread 6. Cookies 7. Family 8. Caroling 9. Decorations 10. Stockings |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
| Turn to next page...... |
|
 |