By Cauly Hauster
1. Vacation
2. Summer Potions
3. Summer Classes (Besides Potions)
4. Summer Club Contests
5. Prepare Next Year
6. Laziness
7. Swimming
8. Clean Common Rooms
9. Tanning
10. Wearing Sun Lotion
Top Ten Professor Summer Fashions
By Beonca Aims
1. Professor Lockhart in bright Hawaiian shirts.
2. Professor Snape in Bermuda shorts!
3. Professor Opal in oversized straw hats.
4. PAD in flowered skirts and tops.
5. Professor Bliss in green overalls.
7. Professor Ripley in a jeans and tees.
8. Professor O�Connell in jams.
9.) Professor Delia in polka-dots.
10. Professor Riddle in kakis.
Ten... Odd Fears
By Erica Lovegood
[[no insult intended if someone truly has one of these fears ;)]]
Alektorophobia- Fear of chickens
Allodoxaphobia- Fear of opinions
Anglophobia- Fear of England or English culture
Chronomentrophobia- Fear of clocks
Consecotaleophobia- Fear of chopsticks
Euphobia- Fear of hearing good news
Francophobia- Fear of France or French culture
Genuphobia- Fear of knees
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words
Zemmiphobia- Fear of the great mole rat
Top Ten Curses
By Bok Choy
10 Jelly-Fingers Curse
9 Blasting Curse
8 Thief's Curse
7 Fiendfyre
6 Reducter Curse
5 Entrail-Expelling Curse
4 Flagrante Curse
3 Curse of the Bogies
2 Body-Bind Curse
1 Babbling Curse
Top Ten Classes
By Chard
10 Ancient Runes
9 Defense Against the Dark Arts
8 Potions
7 Astrology
6 Flying Lessons
5 Herbology
4 Divination
3 Charms
2 Astronomy
1 Care of Magical Creatures
By Yaxley Chambers
5.
Guy: Did it hurt?
Girl: Did what hurt?
Guy: When you feel from heaven?
4.
Guy: I wish I can rearrange the alphabet...
Girl: Why?
Guy: So I can put 'U' and 'I' together
3.
Guy: Do you happen to have a map?
Girl: No Why?
Guy: Cause I can't help but get lost in your eyes
2.
Guy: Woah! You have a matter baby on you head!
Girl: What's a matter baby?
Guy: Not much, doll, how 'bout you?
AND THE #1 Corniest Pick Up Line, in honor of the new Paddington House, represented by the Polar Bear;
1.
Guy: How much do Polar Bears weigh?
Girl: I don't know, how much?
Guy: Enough to break the ice, Hi, I'm (INSERT NAME HERE)
Top Ten Summer Places
By Billy Raven
If you have to travel this summer and looking for some great places to visit, here are ten ideas.
1.) Devil's Tower
2.) Hersey's Fun Park
3.) Yellowstone
4.) Big Sur
5.) Smoky Mountains
6.) Black Hills
7.) Cedar Point
8.) Any National Forest
9.) Disneyland
10.) Disney World
Top Ten Potion Ingredients
By Parsley
10 Lacewing flies
9 Scarab beetles
8 Aconite
7 Fluxweed
6 Asphodel
5 Sneezewort
4 Leeches
3 Pomergranate
2 Peppermint
1 Gillyweed
Top Ten Forms of Detention
By Rutabaga
10 Writing lines
9 Pickle rat brains
8 Clean out bed pans without magic
7 Help Lockhart answer fan mail
6 Polish silver in the Trophy Room without magic
5 Search the Forbidden Forest with Hagrid
4 Unnamed detention
3 Disembowel a barrel full of horned toads
2 Clearing out Filch's old files
1 Sorting out rotten Flobberworms from good ones
By Keato Abbot
1. Guilty or Not?
2. The Banning Game
3. The Person Above Me
4. Ask a Professor
5. Smilies
6. I Win
7. Alphabet
8. Elbow Typing
9. Song of The Moment
10. Which Is Better?
Top Ten Broomsticks
By Soybean
10 Comet
9 Cleansweep
8 Flyte and Barker
7 Moontrimmer
6 Shooting Star
5 Tinderblast
4 Swiftstick
3 Silver Arrow
2 Nimbus
1 Firebolt
Ten Ways on How NOT to Turn in Your Final Exams
By Billy Raven
1.) Written in a language not understood by the professor, would include elbow typing and pig-Latin.
2.) In crayon
3.) With doodles
4.) With doodles of the professor
5.) Blank
6.) Answers to the wrong class subject
7.) Without your name and house
8.) COPIED FROM SOMEONE ELSE
9.) Written in invisible ink
10.) LATE!!!!!!!!!
Figure it Out!
By Turnip�s Daughter
The following is a mind-puzzle! In the sentence below, each letter of the alphabet has been traded with another letter! Can you figure out which letter is actually which? To get you started, here are a two hints. Q = H, S = E. Look for the answer in the next issue!
Puzzle:
G pyds gx qsus vx Qycfvuxt vrj sdsuwlyjw gr gx!
By Dawlish Ledgerwood
To the tune of the Muggle song "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover"
"The answer is not inside your wand" he said to me
You'll beat this problem by behaving erratically
I'd like to help you struggle against gravity
There must be fifty ways to learn to hover
He said it's really not my habit to be rude
At least on purpose, because I often intrude
Floating is fun, though it sometimes seems quite crude
There must be fifty ways to learn to hover
Fifty ways to learn to hover
Refrain:
You gotta let go, Joe
Just rise off your feet, Pete
Now stay in the air, Claire
And fight gravity
Gotta levitate, Kate
No need to be irate!
Now's the time to fly, Bry
And fight gravity (2x)
He said it grieves me so to see you on the ground
I wish there was something I could do to make you float around
I said I appreciate that and would you please expound
Upon the fifty ways
He said why don't we both just have a big cake fight
And I believe in the middle you'll begin to feel quite light
And then he caked me and I realized he probably was right
There must be fifty ways to learn to hover
Fifty ways to learn to hover
(Refrain)
Top Ten Shops in Diagon Alley
By Watercress
10 Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions
9 Eeylop's Owl Emporium
8 Ollivander's
7 Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor
6 Daily Prophet
5 Gringott's Wizarding Bank
4 Quality Quidditch Supplies
3 WhizzHard Books
2 Weasley Wizard Wheezes
1 Gambol and Japes
By A Penshire Contributor
10 � It�s a great way to practice your writing skills
9 � You earn your house 50 points for every article!
8 � You learn all about the school as you research what to write about.
7 � You get to see your name (or a pseudonym of your choice) in print.
6 � You�re left with a feeling of accomplishment.
5 � You help produce one of the greatest publications of all time.
4 � Everyone else is doing it, and peer pressure is a really great thing.
3 � It�s a great way to spend a rainy day.
2 � It�s another way to get involved without needing any sort of special skills or experience!
1 � Why not?
Top Ten Bestiaries
By Artichokes
10 Gilderoy Lockhart's Guide to Household Pests
9 Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
8 Gadding with Ghouls
7 Dreadful Denizens of the Deep
6 Travels with Trolls
5 Holidays with Hags
4 The Monster Book of Monsters
3 Break with a Banshee
2 Handbook to Hippogriff Psychology
1 Year With the Yeti
Top Ten Quidditch Teams
By Okra
10 Appleby Arrows
9 Falmouth Flacons
8 Wigtown Wanderers
7 Tutshill Tornadoes
6 Puddlemere United
5 Kenmare Kestrels
4 Montrose Magpies
3 Chudey Cannons
2 Pride of Portree
1 Ballycastle Bats
Half of the Shops in Penshire Co-op at Hogsmeade
By Cauly Hauster
1. The Card Shop
2. Danny�s Spy and Spell Shop
3. Valentine�s Day Shop
4. Curio
By Cauly Hauster
1. Meeting new characters
2. Being a part of the Harry Potter world
3. Working together as a house
4. Working together between houses
5. Get better at RPG-style classes
6. Earn house points
7. Make important announcements
8. Increase personal involvement
9. Become well-known
10. Have more fun
Top Ten Potions
By Garlic
10 Shrinking Solution
9 Strengthening Solution
8 Amortantia
7 Forgetfulness Potion
6 Polyjuice Potion
5 Elixir of Life
4 Love Potion
3 Sleeping Potion
2 Pepperup Potion
1 Draught of Peace
Top Ten Joke Items
By Sugar Snap Pea
10 Dungbomb
9 Stink Pellets
8 Punching Telescope
7 Hiccough Sweets
6 Whizzing Worm
5 Ever-Bashing Boomerang
4 Fang Frisbee
3 Belch Powder
2 Nose-biting Teacup
1 Screaming Yo-Yo
Top Six RPG Areas on the Bulletin Board
By A Penshire Contributor
6 � Hogwarts Express, with approximately 250 posts.
5 � Other Locations, with approximately 350 posts.
4 � Hogsmeade Village, with approximately 1,000 posts.
3 � Quidditch Pitch, with approximately 2,600 posts.
2 � Hogwarts Castle, with approximately 3,000 posts.
1 � School Grounds, with approximately 4,500 posts.
By The Veggie Writer
Helping
Eager
Active
Dedicated
Open-minded
Friendly
Hugging
Opinionated
Useful
Sensitive
Entitled to Staff Lounge
Gazette Acrostics
By Turninp
Gaining articles
Amazing
Zany
Enormous
Tool
Tricky
Exciting
G reat read
A good way to catch up on events
Z uper-de-duper
E veryone should submit
T ry it for yourself
T omorrow�s next big thing
E specially good with scones
Class Acrostics
By the Veggie Writer
Creative
Learn
Assisting
Serious
Simple
C lasses
L anguages
A rithmancy
S panish
S pelling
Top 5 Polls on the Bulletin Board
By Cauly Hauster
1. Favorite Harry Potter Book
2. Pixie Team Complete Name
3. How Pure Are You?
4. Quiddy Poll
5. Autograph Poll
By Kale
P erfect
E ager
N urturing
S illy
H ungry
I nventive
R ight� all the time.
E xceptionally brilliant
Poetry Acrostics
By Kale
P oints
O bsession
E xciting
T roubling
R ighteous
Y ourself
P retty great
O utstanding club
E veryone should join
T ry your best
R ight up my alley
Y ear-round fun!
Profs Acrostics
By Spinach
P hilosophical
R anking
O pen-minded
F riendly
S crabble-loving
P ad�s helpers
R ight on top of things
O pen for questions
F inal exam-giving
S mart
Ten Biggest �Personal Threads� in the PCR
By A Penshire Contributor
10 � Roger�s Universe
9 � Katalina�s Katwalk
8 � Lynexe�s Laughter
7 � Thomasina�s Treehouse
6 � Keato�s Castle
5 � Evan�s Spam Central
4 � Simbi�s Sanctuary
3 � Samuel�s Sandcastle
2 � Sapphie�s Studio
1 � Bry�s Bungalow
By Brady Lennox
Professors Riddle and Haddington
Appointed to watch over us
Deciding what is best
Doing all they can
In giving us encouragement
Never letting us doubt
Greatness is within us
Time will allow us this!
One house, one spirit
Now and forever, united!
The Top 10 Reasons Of Why I Am Awesome
By Dawlish Ledgerwood
10. I'm ambidextrous
9. I'm a cheerleader
8. I like Hippogriffs
7. I'm hyper
6. I believe in the power of 42
5. I can bake cakes pretty well
4. I love cake
3. I'm floating
2. My humility
1. I'm a RAVENCLAW!
Top Ten Reasons For Being A Penshire
By Cauly Hauster
1) Cranes
2) Quidditch Cup
3) House Spirit
4) Friendliness
5) Blue
6) Silver
7) House Points
8) Creativity
9) School Involvement
10) Gaining Fifth House Status
Top Ten Summer Enjoyments!
By Ava Black
1. Read a book
2. Swim
3. lay around in a hammock
4. take a nature walk
5. go to the beach
6. garden
7. bike rides
8. run through sprinkler
9. water gun fights
10. Amusement park trip!
By Slytherin House
(with special guest writers)
We'll be brief: Ernest Hemmingway once wrote a story in just six words ("For sale: baby shoes, never worn") and is said to have called it his best work. So we challenged ourselves to write a collection of stories using just six words. Here's what some talented Slytherins, as well as a few Muggle writers who wrote their own, came up with:
Slytherin--what a bunch of JUNK...
-Eltanin Wemyss
Epitaph: He shouldn't have fed it.
- Brian Herbert
The frog crosses the road...maybe.
-Beonca Aims
Six words are hard to write.
-Emma Powell
Temporal recursion. I'm dad and mom?
- David Brin
This story is easy it's short.
-Areyna Havic
Wasted day. Wasted life. Dessert, please.
- Steven Meretzky
Who types stories in six words?
-Darmean Volten
- Orson Scott Card
Wrong ingredient in the potion...boom.
-Professor Snape
I�m dead. I�ve missed you. Kiss � ?
- Neil Gaiman
Walking in snow...Brr, it's cold.
-Rayne Hallowell
Kirby had never eaten toes before.
- Kevin Smith
Don't even go there you fool...
-Piper Bailey
Fly entered the house, swish, slap.
-Beonca Aims
Computer, did we bring batteries? Computer?
- Eileen Gunn
Jenii's computer was finally fixed. Yay.
-Jenii Chang
Tani ignores editor's word limit and
-Eltanin Wemyss
Finally, he had no more words.
- Gregory Maguire