By: Captain Myrrima Goldenleaf
That's right! The Chaos Claws will now be playing once again, this time against Penshire on March 7th. It may have been a little while since they have played, but that by no means has lessoned their skill at the game. Their spirits are up, and they are working towards another outstanding win. There have been many additions and changes in the player roster, though these changes have all been for the best. And throughout all of the changes the whole team has worked well together and I am convinced that, whatever may happen, they will all have tried their best. Go Claws!
by: Riley Jake
As many are well aware, Quidditch matches are held all through out the year. Even though everyone doesn't necessarily play on their house Quidditch team, everyone's always urged to go and watch the game, even if they aren't playing, and even if their house isn't playing in the game in progress. When I came to Hogwarts, I was able to see one of these magnificent Quidditch matches, and this in turn, helped me learn a lot about the way Quidditch is played.
I encourage everyone to go and watch the Quidditch games, even if they aren't playing, or their house isn't one of the opposing teams. By going to watch these games, you can learn how Quidditch is played, and you can also show house and school spirit. And besides, it's fun!
By Kalie Black
Some of you may have been hearing rumors lately about a certain Gryffindor and his obsession for proper rain apparel. I'm sure some of you weren't quite sure whether to believe this shocking little piece of gossip, but I am here to tell you that it isn't merely an interesting tidbit from the rumor mill. It is an unchallenged fact that Gawyn Crossguard is the proud owner of several pairs of pink polka-dotted rain boots. Let's just be glad they're not 'Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikinis'.
At last count, the number was pegged at eight different pairs, all of them pink and sporting polka dots. To give the guy some credit, though, there is a variety in his 'collection'. Some of these boots have sparkles on them, some have bows, some have unicorns, and some even have rainbows. Although Gawyn continues to deny the existence of these boots, there have been many confirmed sightings. For instance, just the other day the all those in the common room saw Gawyn Crossguard heading out to the Quidditch Pitch in his uniform and beloved rain boots. Someone had the presence of mind to snap a picture of this sight before Gawyn could run back up to his dorm to put on different shoes. There are mixed reports as to whether or not the boots sported bows or not. However, most people seem to believe that they gave off a certain sparkle in the light.
You might ask how we know that he has eight rain boots. Once again the proof to their existence can be blamed on our very own Crossguard. One sunny day, no doubt believing that everybody would be outside enjoying the good weather, Gawyn brought his boots down to the common room for polishing. Unfortunately for him there was one person who was still in the tower. Yours truly had slept in and was rather startled to find Gawyn, complete with rain boot collection, located in the common room. He hid them quickly, but not before I spotted them. Since then he denies that this event ever happened, but I saw them. I know the truth.
Many others have also come to realize the truth about Gawyn's secret fixation. I hear new rumors every day about the elusive rain boots. The most recent one claimed that Gawyn's collection had grown to over fifty rain boots and that Gawyn had to build an underground room to store his collection in because some of his roommates were getting suspicious. Well, I fully plan to search out the truth in regards to this latest rumor.
Catch you next time with the latest.
by Summer Levy
Reports have been piling in to the Headmistress' office, but if you've been to your lockers, you'd realize what was happening too.
It was on the fifteenth of February when the first report came in about a locker break-in. The Ravenclaw student's locker was left ajar afterwards, and all that was left in there were candy wrappers.
More incidents of this type followed, falling upon students of all houses and of all years. As of now, there are no further clues as to who the criminal may be; whether it is a student, and if so, of which house. However, the staff are fairly certain that the criminal(s) of this series of incidents are committed by the same person(s). The criminal motive has not yet been identified and assistance from the Ministry of Magic may be required.
For the time being, students are encouraged to vacate their lockers, or see to it that advanced locking spells are put in place, and to be aware of their possessions' whereabouts at all times.
Part two: Dealing with Minions
By Mistress Queenie
No matter what you call your underlings, (minions, worshippers, peons, etc.) dealing with them can always provide something of a challenge. Even the best dictator still gets some of those who are not content with their life of servitude. They may think it a good idea to oh, I don't know, spray paint the walls of your dominion with bad poetry like SOME people...
Anyway, if the occasion should arise that you need to discipline your unruly servants, here are a few tips:
1. Always overreact. Though you may think a simple slap on the wrist is punishment enough, it is not. Any opposition must be crushed with stunning force. So, if your minion talks back when bringing you your morning tea, perhaps he (or she) should be strung from the ceiling and set in a continuous circular motion. Any messes your minions make should be taken care of without the aid of magic or any cleaning devices unless absolutely necessary. Having your minions scrape off spray paint with a toothpick will teach them to not defy your authority again.
2. Be creative. As in the examples above, it is important to think of new and exciting ways to punish minions. Note that I did not suggest having minions strung up by their thumbs or scrub the walls with a toothbrush. Those are far too clich� and both you and your minions will soon tire of them. This is the fun part of the job.
3. Humiliation is the best punishment. Rather than cause minions physical pain or harm, as most unsuccessful dictators have, try something that is embarrassing and public. That is why stocks are so successful. They provide discomfort and humiliation, but as soon as the minion is released, they can go back to serving you dinner. Also, this kind of punishment is typically worse for the minion as well, and serves as a symbol to other minions.
With these tips, you should be able to keep your minions in line. Remember that punishments should always be given at your whim and if anyone objects, the punishment must immediately worsen. Happy ruling.
Anyone interested in becoming a minion, please contact my recruiting officer, Lily Duncan. Opportunities for advancement are available and employment is guaranteed.
By Summer Levy
As a boarding school, Hogwarts requires that all students wear a school uniform, differing from one another in that the colours and crests correspond with the student's house affiliation.
A standard Hogwarts uniform consists of a white collar shirt, a grey V-neck sweater (sleeveless or long sleeved), a tie of the house colours, black or ash grey slacks or knee-length skirt (available only for female students), black dress shoes, and a black robe with the house crest.
However, one would think that the students would despise wearing uniforms, but subconsciously, it seems not. The idea of conforming is expressed in the extreme form of uniforms, but it continues on at occasions where students are free to wear whatever they like, within the boundaries of the dress code.
For example, on a Hogsmeade visit, where students are excused from the uniform dress code, would you not still see the teenagers wearing the same type of clothes? Do you not see them shopping at the same shops, buying the same things?
Here is the issue: while school uniforms are forced upon students, mandatory for school, and taking away the individual personality of each student, here you would see them CHOOSING to look the same. Isn't that ironic?
Ready-to-wear apparel bought at shops is made for conformity. Anyone can buy the same shirt, or the same pair of jeans in the same wash from the same store. Just add a bit of something 'you' to personalize it and make it distinctly yours. Also, you may say that uniforms make you look exactly like one another, but there are so many things you can do�Dye your hair pink! Draw pictures on your shoes with white ink. And accessorize! A colourful scarf may be all that you need to separate you from someone else.
So, my fellow students, don't be afraid to try something new and dress to be who you are. You're wearing the clothes; the clothes aren't wearing you.
By: Eltanin Wemyss
The question has burned in the minds of Hogwarts students for countless years, but until this past month or so, no one dared to ask it aloud: Are there fish in The Lake? An unidentified first year asked the question of Jennifer Kull, formerly of Slytherin. JUNK became mildly obsessed with the question and rushed out to purchase the most expensive fishing rod she could find, then set out to answer the question. In the end, she dragged me along for the ride.
So, I hear you ask...ARE there fish in The Lake? The answer, surprisingly, is...yes. Rather large ones, as it happens. One of them almost made off with JUNK's fishing rod, and would have had it not been for the joint effort that eventually landed the fish on the shores. We freed the fish and put it back into the lake...whereupon it was promptly eaten by the Giant Squid. So, while fishing in The Lake is a fun and relaxing activity, especially after dark, if you don't want to end up on the Giant Squid's lunchtime menu, make sure you bring a good, strong rod.
By: Myrrima Goldenleaf
Randomness. You hear about it a lot and sometimes think about it when people say things like, "I thought about a hot pink dragon today who was scared of the sun." Then you think "That was random" and forget about or you think that the person who said such a random statement is a random person. But has anyone ever thought of why randomness is good for people? No? It is an easy way to relieve tension in our daily lives.
For example, you are working late and have a list about a mile long of things you need to get done, many of which need to be done by the end of the day or by the end of the week, and you just get so stressed out that you can hardly think anymore when someone walks by, stares at you for a minute, and then says, "Maybe you should wish that your desk would turn into a giant hippo." and walks off. Hearing such a thing will make you stop for a second and then, probably, laugh which then relieves tension. Afterwards you can resume your work with a calmer mind and be able to get more work done.
So, randomness is good for you. It can help relieve stress and tension in our daily lives or possibly provide the diversion that you have been looking for. It puts people in a more good-natured mood most of the time. It's pretty much like medicine in the same way that laughter is a medicine. Of course, laughter and randomness are linked, but that's beside the point. So next time you are feeling overwhelmed with your workload just go out, be random, and pretend you can fly like a one winged pterodactyl.