The blazing sun beat down on weary family and friends. They had been waiting for hours for their loved ones. It was Graduation Day, June 20th, 2000. Seeking shelter under the cool shade of the bleachers, a young girl pushed her borrowed shades closer over her eyes and tried to ignore the burning of the UV rays on her skin.
“Finally.” She breathed. She smiled at the others in her little entourage as they made their way to the open grass field to greet the graduates. The little group found who they were looking for almost instantly. His tall stature made him easy to spot among the 300 or so graduates.
“Thanks for coming, guys”, he said graciously. She returned his smile, hiding the pain in her eyes by the mirrored shades. She stepped back slightly as other well-wishers rushed onto the scene. Readjusting her backpack into a more comfortable position, she looked around, examining the group in front of her. She spotted several other graduates they knew heading their direction. The group was complete. Congratulations were given all around, and the girl also saw many others from his school coming to offer more congratulations.
She smiled again despite the sinking feeling in her heart. Popularity. Of course. He had so much else; popularity was just another facet of his personality. She watched him take pictures with everyone: his parents, his brother. She even took one with him, but not by herself. She felt keen disappointment, but hid it behind the forced smiles and the providential dark shades. She watched everything, feeling distant from it all, but very much longing to be a part of it all. She made small talk with other people, forgetting her pain for mere seconds, when with a glimpse of blue or a quickly spoken word, everything rushed back, flooding her with emotions.
She turned away once, not trusting herself to control her emotions, even with the aide of the shades. He had called a name, and another young girl, the same age as the first, stepped forward for another picture. She turned away, standing at the edge of the happy group, silent. In her mind’s eye, she could picture the smiles and jubilation that he and the other girl both shared. She turned back only when someone called her name, a soft smile frozen on her lips, and readjusted her shades to ensure they concealed her eyes, which could pool into tears at any moment.
The group milled about the girl, laughing and smiling. She felt as if she were trapped in a movie, where everyone else was spinning around her, busy with their own lives. Yet, she stood rooted to the ground, watching the others. After a minute, she willed her feet to propel forward, and smoothed her skirt down in nervous agitation. It was soon time for her and her ride to leave. Hugging several others goodbye, she followed her ride through the many students.
“You’re leaving now?” he questioned them.
“Yeah” one of them answered.
He stooped to give first one, than the other a “goodbye-thanks-for-coming” hug.
Then it was her turn. It was only natural, only polite, she told herself as she stepped within the circle of his arms. Hugs were a rarity, but always nice. But this one was so right, so perfect. Not like they were destined to be together, but something less cliqued and more simple.
Her eyes closed at the sudden onslaught of pain that washed freshly across her heart. She let go and pulled back, still feeling the soft scratch of his graduation gown against her cheek.
“Bye, Michael.” She said softly.
Then adjusting her shades yet again, she turned and walked away without looking back.
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