Aaron and I discovered that we were pregnant January 19,2001.  It was Aaron�s birthday.  Although we were surprised, we were overjoyed at the thought of having another baby.  I already had three children by a previous marriage, so I was �an old pro� at this.  Aaron was very nervous, however.  He didn�t know what to expect.      The pregnancy itself was a bit difficult.  At six months pregnant I developed a bad case of pneumonia.  I was put in the hospital for five days and when they released me, I had to go back for five more days of IV therapy.  During all of this, the nurses and doctors assured me that Alexis was fine.  The OB nurses even nicknamed Alexis, �Little Miss Wiggle Butt�, because she was so active.      The rest of the pregnancy went ok.  A few problems, but nothing major.  When I was 34 weeks pregnant I decided to quit my job and stay home.  I was having contractions off and on and work wasn�t exactly thrilled.  Two weeks later, Labor Day, I started having Braxton Hick�s type contractions.  They were strong enough to keep me awake, but I was only 36 weeks pregnant.  The contractions started at 11:30 pm.  By 1:00 am I knew that I was in labor.  I woke Aaron up and told him that I was in labor and he said, �Are you kidding me?�  We still laugh about that.  I told him to go back to sleep and I would wake him if anything felt like it was progressing.      Needless to say things definitely progressed.  At 5:45 Alexis Sierra Hitchcock was born.  We were thrilled.  There were a few anxious moments because she was early.  The doctors wanted to make sure she was ok and that she could breathe.  They assured us that she was fine.  Grandma got to touch her first.  Grandma and Grandpa were both in there with us when she was born.  It was really great.  It made it a Family Event.  They were thrilled to have their first granddaughter.      Life was wonderful.  We were staying with my in-laws until our house was ready.  It gave the grandparents a lot of time to spend with her.  Needless to say she was doted on constantly.      After a lot of work at our new house, we were able to move in.  The first day we spent there Alexis was extremely fussy.  She wasn�t ordinarily a fussy baby, but we thought it was gas.  She seemed like she had a tummy ache.  I got her to kind of quiet down and we went to Grandma�s house to get the rest of her things.  Cindy was holding her and when she went to give her back, she kind of fussed a little as if to say� I�m not ready to go to Mommy just yet.�  Looking back now we realize that Alexis said goodbye to her grandma then.      The rest of the night was ok.  Alexis got fussy again when it was dinnertime.  We had been giving her small amounts of cereal and a little fruit for a week or so.  She ate and seemed to feel much better.  I gave her a bath and let her nurse for quite a while.  We went to bed.  Alexis was going to get to sleep in her crib for the first time that night.  We checked on her about five separate times.  She had slept with us from the day she was born and we were nervous about her first night �without us�.  We checked on her for the last time at 12:00am.      To this day I do not know what made me wake up at 3:30.  I picked her up from her crib and put her in bed with us.  I thought at first she cried because she was hungry, but I realized that she didn�t eat that night and that she wasn�t crying because I never got her pacifier from the crib.  I put her next to Daddy and rolled over to get her blanket and cover her up.      Aaron woke up late that morning.  He woke me up asking me where the cell phone was.  I told him and he went to get it.  I rolled over and touched Alexis and realized that something was very wrong.  I jumped up and looked at her.  What I saw didn�t register.  I tried to blink a couple times, thinking that I must have been having a nightmare, but I wasn�t.  My little angel was not breathing.  I remember screaming, but I don�t know what I said.  There are a lot of things about that day that I don�t clearly remember.  I remember performing CPR while Aaron was talking to the 911 operator.  I remember a police officer coming in and helping me with the CPR.  I remember standing at the back of the ambulance.  I remember asking the paramedic in the ambulance if Alexis was going to be all right.  He said,� We are doing everything we can for her.�  I think I knew then.  I remember going into a room and sitting.  When the doctor came in I was afraid.  He began the words,� Ma�am unfortunately your daughter wasn�t breathing when you found her and we were unable�.� That was all I heard, I knew that he was going to say that she was dead.  I don�t remember what I was screaming, I know I was yelling at the doctor that he needed to go back in there and fix her.  Then all of a sudden I thought that maybe they were wrong.  I needed to see her.      I don�t remember much after that.  All I knew is that I wanted to die.  I couldn�t understand how a perfectly healthy baby could die for no apparent reason.  I don�t know who mentioned SIDS to me, but my mind rejected that.  That was something that happened to other people, not to my daughter.  I was contemplating thoughts that I shouldn�t have been when my mother-in law, Cindy, walked in the room.  I do not know what would have happened if she hadn�t come in when she did.  It brought me back from wherever I was.  To this day, I don�t think she realizes what her presence meant to me.  She was the first to remind me that I still had three other children to live for.  I am ashamed to say I had forgotten that.  Thank you Cindy.      The next few weeks are all a blur.  There are a lot of things about that day and the subsequent ones that I can�t remember, no matter how hard I try.  Some days I pray I never will.  I don�t know if I will ever understand why this happened.  We are all trying to pick up the pieces of our lives as best as we can.  The only thing I know for sure is that for what ever reason, I was blessed to be the mother of an angel for 43 days and I wouldn�t trade those days for anything in the world. We love you Alexis.

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