Sean was a surprise to both of us. We hadn't been trying but then again we hadn't not been trying. It all started at work when I had been feeling sick for a few days and someone said maybe you're pregnant. Well, we all had a good laugh but, the thought never left my mind. So over Memorial Day weekend I took a home test, it was positive! Due to my history I called the doctor right away. He agreed to see me the next day so off I went sure that the home test was wrong. Well, it wasn't!!! I had very mixed feelings about being pregnant again I had two angels up in heaven and I was afraid that the same thing would happen this time. I told Sean's father and after it sunk in we began to tell family, the only non-family that knew was my boss because of potential complications with my work and my best friend. Things were going along very well, a little to well I feared. Each morning I spent at least 20 - 30 minutes throwing up and most of the day wishing I could. But with each wave of nausea I was thankful because it meant I was still pregnant. We had numerous ultrasounds (including one that my brother did) and each one showed a normal healthy and active baby! Around month 4 we began to relax, although I was still having some trouble having strong feelings towards the new life that was growing inside of me. Then the day I was waiting for, my doctor gave me the official last day of work and due to my history he set a date for a c-section. My baby was coming into the world on January 3, 2003. Approximately 2 weeks before his due date, but the doctor did want to risk my going into labor. I began to ask myself "do I dare begin to relax and enjoy what was left of my pregnancy?" I decided I should try. I still didn't feel pregnant but I was having trouble getting out of chairs, sleeping and when I saw a friend that I hadn't seen in a while and she told me I was getting big, I started to enjoy what was left of my pregnancy. Twice I had to go to the hospital with contractions but the first time I was only dehydrated and the second time my blood pressure was high, so they were able to stop the contractions with IVs and rest, then sent me home. Everything seemed to be going great. Then one day I started to spot a little and I began to panic and think about how I lost Katie. So I went to the doctor and he didn't dismiss my concern and kept me in the hospital for a few days, the spotting stopped and everything looked fine. I took it easy over the next few weeks then the spotting began again, so off I went to see my doctor, this time when he did the ultrasound he was concerned with what he saw, the placenta had started to pull away from the uterine wall. He put me on bed rest and told me to come back in two days, well, when I did it was clear that I was indeed suffering from a placental abruption. Since the bleeding had stopped and he wanted to keep me on steroids as long as possible he scheduled a c-section for that Saturday. I was scared but at the same time very excited, it was gong to happen I was going to be a Mommy to a sweet baby here on earth as well as to my two angels in heaven!! We got ready and went to the hospital bright and early Saturday morning, I was looking forward to seeing my best friend that afternoon to show her my baby, but that never got to happen. The events of that day are still foggy and difficult for me to tell but Sean's father E-mailed everyone and let them know what had happened and here is his letter to our friends and families. First let me start by saying that this is Roger, not Laurie and let me apologize for the mass mailing, but this is the only way I could think of to tell everyone without repeating everything multiple times as once will be hard enough. Laurie went into the hospital this morning to have a c-section because the doctor thought that this was a safer move then waiting since Laurie had a placental abruption and it was growing, even with bed rest. Well, long story short Laurie gave birth to Sean Michael at 11:22 this morning. He weighed 2 pounds 1/2 ounce and was 10 3/4 inches. The doctors in the neonatal intensive care unit said that for his gestational age he was small and under developed, and that he would have a very hard and long battle ahead of him. I was able to go with him into the unit but I was told I had to leave shortly after they got him settled. I returned to Laurie and tried to put her mind at ease about our new son. She was only able to see him briefly as they whisked him off. I stayed with her until she fell asleep then I returned to see if I could stay with Sean. The nurse in the unit told me I could stay for a few minutes then the doctor wanted to see me. I stayed as long as they would allow me to then I was taken to the neo-natologist to hear what he had to say. It was now about 1:00 in the afternoon and I still hadn't had a chance to call any of our relatives but right now my son was the most important thing on my mind. As I sat in the doctor's office every scenario went through my mind but I was still unprepared for what I was about to hear. The doctor said that if Sean lived through the rest of the day it would be a miracle, they were giving him steroids and he was on a ventilator to help him breath but he was just to small and on top of all this he had a strep infection that they said was caused by the abruption. Now I had to decide who would tell all of this to Laurie, I knew that this would send her over the edge but I also knew that we couldn't keep it from her much longer. When I went back to her room she was sitting up and told me the nurse said that she could go down and see Sean. I told her how he looked so that she wouldn't be shocked then we got a wheelchair and went to the NICU. Although Laurie was in pain she looked relieved to see her son. We were in there a couple of minutes when the doctor came in and asked if we wanted to hold him! We had to hold him through special gloves attached to his incubator but we were able to hold him non-the-less. We stayed with him for a while then we were told that we had to leave, when we returned to the room Laurie was extremely tired so she closed her eyes and went to sleep. I stayed with her a while then returned to our son. I got to the window just in time to see them moving him quickly out of the room and another nurse came to the window and shut the blinds. I didn't stay there instead I went back to see if Laurie was still sleeping, and thankfully she was. Our sweet little baby went to heaven to join his older sister and brother at 5:47 PM. Please keep Laurie in your thoughts and prayers as she will need all the support she can get right now. Roger