"Eagles may fly but weasels aren't sucked into jets!"
"Eat Healthy, Exercise, and Die Anyway."
"Education is the best defence against the media."
"Elvis is everywhere! Elvis is in you and me!"
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"Hardware: The part you kick."
"How do I set my laser printer to stun."
"How you look depends on where you go."
"You're never a loser until you quit trying."
"You're only young once. You're immature forever."
"You're wierd. I like that."
"Some women say you can't change a man--those women are quitters."
"The one thing guys just don't understand is that us girls know what's going on."
"It's better to be black than gay because when you're black you don't have to tell your mother."
"A little nonsense now and then is cherished by the wisest men."
"We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it."
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me!"
"It's important to be open-minded, but not so open-minded that your brains fall out."
"One day my prince will come--he just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions."
"I went on a diet, swore off all eating and drinking and in two weeks I had lost fourteen days."
"I prefer to describe my profession as that of a 'contemporary anthropological interactive observer' because it has
just the right amount of flair. Besides, 'stalker' is such an ugly word. Plus its not stalking unless you hide."
"Hard work never killed anyone, but why take a chance."
"I wonder if infants have as much fun in infancy as adults do in adultery."
"You and your stupid thoughtfulness can go to hell!"
"Somebody has to do something. It's just incredibly pathetic it has to be me."
"Paranoia, Paranoia, everybody's coming to get me."
"Nothing is going to piss off the Taliban more that a gay woman in a suit surrounded by jews."
"Now I lay me down to sleep, a bottle of vodka at my feet. If I should die before I wake, tell my girls I drank it straight."
"I was here but now I'm gone. I left my name to carry on. Those who know me, know me well, and those who don't can got to hell."
"In the 60�s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world�s weird and people take prozac to make it normal."
"If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them."
"I had a linguistics professor who said that it�s man�s ability to use language that makes humans the dominant species on the planet. That may be true. But I think there�s one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren�t
afraid of vacuum cleaners."
"A jury consists of twelve people to decide who has a better lawyer."
"If you are going to do something wrong at least enjoy it."
"Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics."
"I wish I was a unicorn, then I would have an excuse to be horny"
"We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!"
"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."
"If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be research, would it?"
"Take my advice, I don't use it anyway."
"God didn't create the world in 7 days. He pulled an all-nighter on the 6th."
"If you're not part of the solution, be part of the problem!"
"Men are like blenders. You feel like you should have one, but most of the time, you're not sure why."