Issue 42 November 2004-January 2005

This issue of the OGT was paid for by advertising from the following businesses:

Presence

334 George Street , Dunedin

471-9000, www.dunedin-direct.co.nz/presence

Gabby Morris, Dunedin First National Real Estate

284 Stuart Street , Dunedin

467-7277 (wk), 456-2566 (hm), 025-228-7900

R&R Sport

70 Stuart Street

Dunedin

474-1211, www.rrsport.co.nz

Anja Klinkert Lawyer

83 Moray Place , 2^nd Floor

477-7267 or 027-497-2337

Public Health South

57 Hanover Street , Dunedin

474-1700

Bodyworks Club

127 Stuart Street , Dunedin

477-8228

University Book Shop

378 Great King Street , Dunedin

477-6976, www.unibooks.co.nz

The Bronx Bagel Co

134 Stuart Street , Dunedin

479-0209

Liz Holland, Coaching, Management & Supervision

03-476-1479

[email protected], www.lizholland.biz

Lesley Hirst, Art By The Sea

7 Frances St , Broad Bay , Dunedin

478-0073, [email protected]

The Academy

50 Dundas Street , Dunedin

477-9830

Sea Kayaking Company

PO Box 94

Havelock , Pelorus Sounds

021-796-770

[email protected]

www.havelockseakayak.co.nz

Gray’s Studio

201 North Road , Dunedin

473-7774

NZAF South – Te Toka

269 Hereford Street , Christchurch

03-379-1953

[email protected]

www.nzaf.org.nz

Editorial

By Tor Devereux

It certainly doesn’t feel like the end of the year, although all the signs are there - the days are getting longer and slightly warmer, Christmas decorations have started to appear in shops, the amount of junk mail in our mail box is increasing and my partner has started organising our Christmas list and she’s even purchased quite a few gifts already. Where has the year gone? 2004 has been a momentous year for my family on a personal level, but also an extremely important one for our queer family too with the introduction of the Civil Union and Relationships (Statutory References) Bills.

Probably not since the Homosexual Law Reform days (the 1980s) have we as a group within society been the centre of so much attention and discussion. Some of this has been extremely negative, but some of it has been positive and affirming. At the time the OGT went to publication these Bills were still with the Justice and Electoral Select Committee so the outcome of our lobbying and advocating for our civil rights in regard to relationship recognition and equal treatment as couples is still unknown. However, I trust that by the time we’re publishing the next issue of the OGT we will have celebrated the passage of these Bills into law and we’ll be looking forward to Civil Unions becoming a reality in New Zealand some time in 2005. Yeah!!!

This issue of the OGT covers World AIDS Day – 1 December. There’s information in the paper about local events being planned to commemorate this day – see page 4 for details. The number of people in New Zealand being diagnosed with HIV is continuing to increase at an alarming rate, and of particular concern to our community is the growing number of infections among men-who-have-sex-with-men. Despite all the campaigns by the New Zealand AIDS Foundation and others in regards to safe sex practices, people continue to have unsafe sex and contract HIV. Decades after the emergence of HIV/AIDS and with the introduction of various drugs to assist with managing the virus, a degree of complacency has crept in. And, unfortunately, the results of this are devastating. Now more than ever people need to take heed of the safe sex messages and work actively to stay HIV negative. Hence one of NZAF’s recent campaigns focuses on the idea of a “negative role model” – who happens to be none other than Dunedin ’s own Nathan Brown (see page 5 for more information).

The paper this time also includes an insert inviting OGT readers to the launch of a book called Lake Warhola Soup by John Z Robinson and Peter Graczer. The launch is taking place at the Moray Gallery (55 Princes Street, Dunedin) on December 4 between 10am and 4pm. Congratulations, John, on the publication of this book and good luck with the launch!

I would like to say a big thank you to all those who have contributed to this issue of the paper – the OGT feels very “healthy” at the moment with lots of different contributors and a small but committed and enthusiastic collective running things behind the scenes. As we approach the end of the year, I’d also like to take this opportunity to thank all those who have advertised in the OGT during the year. The revenue from the advertising is used to pay for all the costs associated with producing and printing the paper, so the advertisers’ role is a crucial one. Please support these businesses whenever you can.

Finally I’d like to wish all our readers a very happy, healthy and safe holiday season (whatever holidays you choose to celebrate). May you enjoy good food and good company, and have some time for peaceful relaxation in amongst all the chaos that so often occurs at the end of the year. Wishing you all a very happy and satisfying 2005!

Tor Devereux, Editor

Queer Quiz

1. Which American First Lady is believed to have had a long-term lesbian affair with journalist Lorena Hickok?

2. Which queer author won the top prize for fiction at this year’s Montana Book Awards?

3. How many gay and lesbian athletes are known to have competed at the 2004 Summer Olympics in Athens ?

4. Which church recently decided not to ordain gay men and lesbians as ministers?

5. What day is World AIDS Day?

Answers
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Rainbow Families

The Rainbow Families group exists for all those in the LGBT/queer community who have, want or are trying to have children to get together for support and social activities.

The Rainbow Families group has been running for nearly two years now and there’s a range in the ages of the children – babies, toddlers and older school-aged children. The group runs very informally, but provides those who are part of a rainbow family with the opportunity to talk about issues and share ideas and information. It’s also great for the children to grow up knowing that there are other families like theirs.

The group meets monthly, generally on the first Saturday of the month (although sometimes this changes because of the particular activity). Below are listed the events that have been planned for the next few months.

For more information about the Rainbow Families group, contact Barb on 453-1108 or [email protected] or Jacinda on 471-9495. And, if you have any suggestions for activities for the Rainbow Families group, then please let Barb or Jacinda know!

Saturday December 11

(NOTE: This one is on the second Saturday of the month because of the availability of the venue!)

Christmas Afternoon Tea - 3pm-5pm. Bring along a plate of something to share. Please RSVP to Barb by December 4 for the venue details and so that we know how many children will be coming because Santa will be making an appearance with small gifts!

January

No activity this month because of the Christmas/New Year holidays.

Saturday February 5

Picnic at Woodhaugh Gardens - meet by the paddling pool at Woodhaugh Gardens at 12:30pm . Bring a picnic lunch and some outside toys to play with.

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Wanted …

Looking for lovely lesbians interested in coming to a good ol' pot luck and/or being part of a walking group.

If you’re interested, phone Amy on 021-116-7927.

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Family Reflections ...

Dear Shirley,

You are my little sister still, although we are both now in our 60s. We shared the same bedroom when we were kids – your side very tidy, mine a mess. We played with our dolls together, when I thought I was too old to do that with my friends any more. We argued a lot; about whose turn it was to clear the table, about washing the dishes, about getting our share, in that big bustling family of six kids. Our first boyfriends were brothers.

We chose different professions, and you married and raised three great children, and I married too for a while, before I was ready, in middle age, to acknowledge that I was lesbian. And now – here we are, both staring old age in the face. But your christian beliefs dictate that my partner and I are not welcome to stay at your house – simply because we are lesbian. For me, it is like a toothache – sometimes a dull ache that can be ignored and sometimes a flare-up of pain. I really don’t believe that christianity was meant to be like this.

Orma

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Poetry

The Ocean Of Me

by Jane E Libeau

Taking opportunities

Making opportunities

Opening thy self to possibilities

Challenging

Confronting fears

Walking on the edge

Face to face

With my own self

The mirror reflects

My self-reflection.

The flow of life

That suddenly ebbs

A time to drift

In an ocean of dreams

Of times to come and times been

Mingled with the now

And endless, timeless opportunities

Floating

Submerged

Yet to emerge

From the shallows

The depths of experiences ahead

Rippling, knowing

Waves of content

Raging drifts of stormy wash

Dragging as it flounders and grips the shores

Of groundedness

The edge of consciousness

Eroded by time

Ebbing to the depth

Deep

Calm I sink

Floating in its unknown

Spinning playfully

Taken by its current

Perching upon an unknown shore

I rest

Yet crave for more

I wade into the hungry surf

Wash the remnants

Of negative thought

I welcome a thundering wave

And dive again to a flurry of bubbles and sound

Memories of all and me

I catch a rip

Roads abound

And relish the journey

Of new sights and sounds

Cocooned within this massive world

Oceans of life

Possibilities and me

I fear not the depth

Its shallows or tides

It reflects the knowings

Of me, inside

So upon this ocean

I have no boat

I will allow myself

To sink or float.

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World AIDS Day Street Appeal

Friday December 3

Supporting Dunedin people living with HIV/AIDS

You can make a difference. Find out about HIV, make a donation, wear a Red Ribbon and support those living with HIV/AIDS.

Octagon Events 12pm - 2pm

Give aways, competition with prizes to be won, AIDS Memorial Quilts and information.

Light a candle of remembrance, St Paul ’s Cathedral, The Octagon, 2pm - 3pm

Watch out for CONDOM MAN who will be roving the city streets with goodies for you.

Volunteer Collectors Needed - Contact Lisa on 477-6988

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Condom Use

While the majority of sexually active Kiwis state that HIV/AIDS is their main sexual health concern, most still have unsafe sex.

The Durex Global Sex Survey 2004 has found that an alarming number of New Zealanders are putting themselves at risk of HIV and other Sexually Transmitted Infections by not using condoms. Kiwis surveyed were well ahead of the global average when it came to having unsafe sex without knowing their partner’s sexual history; up to 57% admitted to unsafe sex, more than 20% higher than the global average and an increase of 20% on 2003’s survey. This in spite of the fact that 51% of New Zealanders surveyed stated their main sexual health concern was HIV/AIDS.

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HIV/AIDS In New Zealand

by Steve Attwood, Communications Coordinator, NZ AIDS Foundation

The New Zealand AIDS Foundation says that the changing and diversifying nature of the HIV/AIDS epidemic in Aotearoa New Zealand does not mean that gay and bisexual men can relax their commitment to safe sex.

“There is a tendency,” says Gay Men’s Health team coordinator Douglas Jenkin, “for gay men to say things like, ‘HIV is not just our issue any more, it’s mainly a heterosexual issue’ and, for some reason, use that as an excuse to drop their own commitment to condom use. It’s almost like they’re saying, ‘we’ve done our bit, let someone else take responsibility for a change’.” But, Jenkin says, such attitudes will put men-who-have-sex-with-men (MSM) at increased risk of HIV infection.

Jenkin notes that, while the international theme for this December’s World AIDS Day is Women, Girls, HIV and AIDS – a reflection that, internationally, HIV/AIDS has disproportionately impacted on (mostly heterosexual) women and girls – it is MSM who continue to be grossly over-represented in New Zealand’s HIV statistics.

In 2003, 154 people were newly diagnosed with HIV through anti-body testing in New Zealand and a further 34 were recorded as having HIV after seeking viral load tests, a record total of 188. Of these, 93 were MSM, and 60 were infected heterosexually (31 men, 29 women). In other words, MSM in New Zealand are still making up just over half of the sexually acquired HIV diagnosed in New Zealand while being nowhere near that proportion of the population as a whole.

That it is MSM who must continue to answer the challenge of taking personal responsibility for preventing HIV through safe sex practices is further emphasised when the transmission location of HIV infections diagnosed in New Zealand is considered.

Of the 52 people diagnosed with heterosexually acquired HIV through anti-body testing done in New Zealand in 2003, most were actually infected overseas. This is a constant pattern. Of the 197 people diagnosed with heterosexually acquired HIV in New Zealand in the past five years, only 36 were reported to have been infected in New Zealand, all of the rest acquired their infection overseas.

Compare this to MSM. Of the 71 MSM diagnosed with HIV through antibody testing in 2003, 65% (46) were infected within New Zealand . This is also a constant pattern.

“In other words,” Jenkin says, “when it comes to the domestic HIV epidemic in New Zealand - which is the epidemic we can do something about through anti-HIV health promotion and education – MSM are still by far the biggest risk group. Having said that, no one – straight, gay, male, female – can afford to be complacent about HIV in New Zealand . Although largely acquired overseas, the climbing numbers of people with heterosexually transmitted HIV now living in New Zealand represent a growing pool of the virus in our community, especially when added to the (also growing) numbers of MSM living with the virus. Statistically, if a person is going to have unsafe sex in New Zealand now, their risk of contracting HIV, whatever their sexuality, is higher now than ever before.”

The NZAF says that, while the international HIV/AIDS statistics are appalling and frightening, New Zealanders must keep an eye also to their domestic scene and accept that HIV isn’t “someone else’s issue” - it’s “our issue”.

Finally, while the epidemic has evolved and become complex, the prevention message has stayed remarkably constant. In the twenty or so years of the epidemic, nothing has been found that is more effective at preventing the spread of HIV than talking openly and honestly about the reality of HIV/AIDS in our communities, and the promotion of correct and consistently used condoms for vaginal or anal intercourse.

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NZAF South - Te Toka

NZAF South - Te Toka in Christchurch provides the following services:

·        Information on HIV and AIDS.

·        Free and anonymous counselling and HIV antibody testing for people who might be at risk of HIV infection.

·        Individual counselling and support for people living with HIV and people living with AIDS.

·        Support and counselling for families and friends of people living with HIV and AIDS.

·        Assistance with maintaining safer sex and drug use.

·        Sexual health counselling for men who have sex with men.

Appointments are recommended and are available Monday to Friday between 9am and 5pm .

Contact Details:

NZAF South - Te Toka

269 Hereford Street, PO Box 13-618, Christchurch

Phone: 03-379-1953, Fax: 03-365-2477

E-mail: [email protected]

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“Negative Role Model” A Hero For Dunedin Parents

Press release from NZ AIDS Foundation, September 2004

A Dunedin family has lent their images to the public face of a major New Zealand AIDS Foundation campaign against the spread of HIV.

“We love our gay son and we support his efforts to remain free of HIV,” say Dunedin parents Judith (Jaye) and Russell Brown, who are proud of their son Nathan’s role as a “negative role model” for the Foundation’s “End the Silence” campaign, which aims to promote the desirability of staying “HIV negative”, hence the play on words.

Jaye says she is prepared to risk negative comments to publicly support her gay son’s role as the face of the new campaign.

“I know there are some people out there who are going to say ‘How does she dare be so public about having a gay son and talking about sex and sexuality?’ But we are not ashamed. Nathan’s sexuality is part of who he is. Our love and support for him is no different than the love and support we give our straight son.”

Jaye, who belongs to Dunedin ’s PFLAG group (Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), says she hopes that her and Russell’s support of the campaign might help other parents of gay children.

“There may be people out there who have not come out to their parents, or parents who are ashamed to tell their friends that their child is gay.

“But there’s no use burying your head in the sand about this. Parents have to face the fact that their children’s sexuality, gay or straight, is just part of who they are. And our children, eventually, become sexually active. By bringing sexuality out into the open in our family it increases support and makes life safer for everyone.”

Formulated in response to 2003’s alarming rise in HIV, the NZAF “End the Silence” campaign aims to get New Zealanders talking again about the reality of HIV and AIDS in their communities. The country now has more people living with HIV than ever before and the 188 new cases of HIV in 2003 were a record for the history of the epidemic in this country. Recently released figures for the first 6 months of 2004 suggest the high rate of new HIV infections is continuing.

Nathan (approaching his 25^th birthday) and his family agreed to work with the Foundation to promote living free of HIV as a desirable lifestyle. With the greatest increase of HIV recorded among men-who-have-sex-with-men (MSM), Nathan’s sexuality is an intrinsic part of the effectiveness of the campaign.

“There has been concern,” says Douglas Jenkin, Coordinator for the NZAF Gay Men’s Health Programme, “that MSM lack role models for remaining HIV negative. There has been a growth of images for HIV positive men to relate to – some helpful for HIV prevention, others not. This campaign aims to restore balance by giving HIV negative men a real image of a person whose story can inspire their own efforts to remain free of HIV.”

Nathan says the support of his family has been crucial in his efforts, and desire, to remain HIV negative.

“You think it should be easy – just use a condom. But when it comes to the moment, you find there are lots of pressures and choices facing you. Gay men no longer seem universally opposed to the idea of unsafe sex; your head’s full of complicated stuff like ‘he looks young and healthy’, or ‘I might miss out if I insist on condoms’, or ‘it’s more intimate without condoms’. Thinking about your family and the impact you having HIV would have on them, and the efforts Mum and Dad make to help keep me safe, helps reinforce my efforts to stay free of HIV.”

Being able to talk freely to his parents about such issues helps too. As Jaye says: “I worry about my gay son, just like I worry about my straight son, but the higher presence of HIV in the gay community does mean it figures larger for me when I think about Nathan, his health and his future.”

Nathan studies film and media at Otago University , where his father, a local veterinarian, also studied. His parents have lived and worked in Dunedin for some 23 years. A typical Kiwi family with strong values around work, family and community, Russell and Jaye say they didn’t hesitate when Nathan asked them to put their faces to the NZAF campaign.

Says Russell, “I’m very proud of the decision Nathan made to support this campaign. How could we, as responsible parents, not back him on that?”

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AIDS Awareness Art Exhibition

22 November - 4 December

Cleveland Living Arts Centre ( Dunedin Railway Station)

A display of works from local known and unknown artists in a variety of mediums.

The aim of this exhibition is to diminish the misconceptions and stigmas, and promote awareness of the facts surrounding our community members living with HIV/AIDS.

Anyone interested in exhibiting, please phone: Jo Brett on 467-5945 or Dean Bates on 021-266-7773

This is not a fundraising event and the sale of your work is optional; however, donations will be accepted and passed on to local AIDS organisations.

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HIV Testing In Dunedin

HIV testing can be done at the following places in Dunedin :

·   Your GP

·   Sexual Health Clinic ( 57 Hanover Street , 479-9565)

·   Student Health (cnr Albany St & Walsh St, 479-8212)

·   Family Planning Association ( 95 Hanover St , 477-5850)

Pre-test counselling is also provided. This is an opportunity to discuss with a health professional or a counsellor why you might be at risk for HIV, ways to stay safe in the future and what a positive test may mean and how you would cope with this news.

It's important to be tested for HIV if you think you're at risk. If your test is positive then you can get the medical and counselling support and information that you need; if your test is negative then this is a good reason to adopt safe practices in the future.

A significant number of people who request HIV tests have other sexually transmitted diseases which are far more common than HIV. If you have had unprotected sex then you will be at risk for all STDs and screening for these is advisable.

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Medical Students & LGBT Issues

THE PROFESSOR’S PERSPECTIVE

by Judy Martin (a member of the Behavioural Sciences teaching team at the Medical School )

Once a year it is my privilege to stand in front of a lecture theatre full of 3^rd year medical students and introduce three or four people who are willing to talk to these future doctors about their experience of being gay, or lesbian, or the parent of a gay or lesbian in New Zealand. For many of the students it is the first time they have even thought seriously about such issues, though it becomes clear that some of them have lived them already. Actually, it’s not quite the first time – some time before this panel discussion we have a “Talking About Sex” workshop designed to prepare the students for discussing sexual material with patients as comfortably and non-judgmentally as possible, and one of the scenarios is a young person who has approached their trusted family doctor wondering whether they are gay. The reactions to this situation range from unconditional acceptance, through confusion and inadequacy, denial that this issue should be of concern to doctors, open disapproval, to a desire to “cure” the unfortunate sufferer.

I’m always reminded in these workshops of the uncomfortable finding from the Dunedin Multidisciplinary Health and Development Study that about a fifth of the Dunedin-born young people thought that sex between same-sex partners was “always or almost always wrong”, and that the proportion of the disapproving rose to almost a third when men were commenting on sex between men. Luckily, most attitudes in the workshops are positive, a good discussion usually results and students start to realise how little they know about being gay, so they are all the more ready to listen to the stories the panel members have to tell.

So far, some of the highlights they’ve heard about include: Being gay at a time when it was not just “not spoken about” but punishable with imprisonment, having your life finally make sense when you realise that you’re lesbian or gay, coping with stigma, the many different ways that parents cope when their children come out, trying to get pregnant as a lesbian and being a parent, being a gay doctor and other misadventures in a heterosexual health service. We always run out of time!

I can’t promise that every student leaves this class ready to join the Hero Parade, but at least they have started to become aware that they are going to have gay patients themselves, and that how they behave towards them might affect how their patients fare in the health system. So, thanks Janet and Euan and Erin and Anne and Barb and Tor. As I said, it’s a privilege. And I’d love to hear from anyone else who wants to be involved in helping educate tomorrow’s doctors about GLBT issues.

And, finally, a comment from one of the panel members: “I think for me there are initially three important reasons for this session. Firstly the fact that the students have a session on lesbian/gay (bi/trans) issues is great - even for those who don't turn up they know it's considered important enough to have curriculum time - that's important for the LGBT/queer students and the 'bigots'! A political statement is made. Then secondly it's a big plus for those who turn up and have not knowingly seen queer people to see us and know we are here. Even if they don't agree with us - we are no longer faceless. We are. Then thirdly for those who are queer or just supportive, it's a positive affirmation. So, I think I'd just like to say that making a space for our issues is the most important part. The content of what we say is of secondary importance - I believe being visible and seen is the most important part.”

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A Student’s Perspective

by a Med Student who wishes to remain anonymous

Med school is a funny old place. It draws on people from all walks of life who all share the aspiration to be a doctor. Besides that common denominator the diversity in lifestyles, religions, morals and beliefs is vast. In some respects this adds to the depth and quality of our education by challenging both teaching staff and students alike.

Staff are set the task of meeting curriculum needs and presenting material in a balanced and tactful manner, while students are constantly confronted with new ideas and concepts which are often foreign and sometimes frightening. How well students respond and deal with these ideas and concepts is as variable as the class population itself.

Each year as part of the third year “Reproduction, Development and Aging” module a “sexual spectrum” forum is organised. This is run in a lecture theatre with a panel discussion format and, like most third year teaching, is voluntarily attended. I am sure that for every student there is a lecture at med school that is unwittingly close to home whether it be cancer or arthritis etc. - the sexual spectrum was certainly one of those lectures for me.

The panel this year consisted of representatives from PFLAG, a professional gay man, a pregnant lesbian academic and a lesbian GP. The PFLAG representatives outlined their role and talked about what service they can be to practitioners as a resource for advice or referral. The gay man spoke about the changing nature of New Zealand ’s attitude towards homosexuals in both a social and political sense. Our heavily pregnant mother-to-be was the crowd favourite evoking a few curious questions as to how exactly a lesbian woman does get pregnant. For me it was fascinating listening to a lesbian GP share her experiences of dealing with her sexuality when it came to both colleagues and patients. It was also interesting to learn about the existence of a gay doctors organisation.

The lecture was very well attended and from the discussions I heard afterwards very thought provoking as well. Like many things, I think those who most needed to be there probably didn’t come. All in all, though, I think it was a successful and worthwhile session handled sensitively and appropriately. My only criticism would be that we would have all benefited from a small group session to share our ideas and concerns.

Going into the clinical years of my training I naively carried the assumption that education equated with acceptance and understanding. My assumption was soon shattered, though, while listening to a conversation among my peers where one girl stated that she “would not treat people like that” and that she would “refer them on”. I could not help but quietly point out that I was a person “like that” and that I thought that her behaviour would be comparable to me refusing to treat her on the basis of her religion. The conversation waned out at that stage (she has recently started saying hello to me again!).

That experience did, however, teach me a valuable lesson (a lesson I am sure many readers will have learnt a long time ago!) - to carefully select those I disclose my sexuality to. These days I automatically behave like a detective, collecting clues as to someone’s likely response, so I can make an informed decision about what words to chose when describing my weekend or introducing my partner. Despite this, the majority of students and doctors are very accepting, and I am lucky to be surrounded by a fantastic group of people: gay, lesbian and straight.

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A Detailed Picture Of Our Community … At Last!

by Tor Devereux

Earlier this year a team at Massey University in Auckland, led by Dr Mark Henrickson, embarked on a survey called “Lavender Islands: A Portrait Of The Whole Family”. The purpose of this national survey was to get a picture of a significant number of aspects of the gay, lesbian and bisexual community in New Zealand , including sexual attraction, emotional attraction, political beliefs and religious beliefs. This survey was the largest of its kind ever conducted in New Zealand and it comprised 133 questions.

There were over 2200 surveys completed and, in addition, over 150 A4 pages of written comments were received. 55% of the respondents were men and 45% were women. The average age was 38, and 48% of the respondents were from Auckland .

Obviously a survey of this magnitude has produced a lot of statistics, but here are just a few:

            87% of respondents said they would honestly answer a question on sexual identity if it were included on the national Census.

            94% indicated that they were in favour of some sort of legal recognition of same sex relationships.

            58% voted for Labour in the last election and 16% for the Green Party.

            18% of men and 9% of women reported having been physically assaulted because of their sexuality.

            77% of men and 64% of women have experienced verbal abuse because of their sexuality.

            37% of women and 14% of men reported that they have some kind of parenting relationship with children.

            Over 56% reported that their children had not been disadvantaged in any way because of their parents’ sexuality. However, 20.1% of respondents said that there had been problems at school, 6.9% reported problems at clubs or sport and 5.1% reported problems with health care providers.

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Are You Feeling Left Out?

Has coming out alienated you from your church family? If so you might feel at home at Glenaven.

Glenaven is a Methodist Church with an ecumenical congregation and a special ministry to the gay and lesbian community. Even if you don’t think of yourself as Christian you can belong and be valued.

Theologically, Glenaven is at the cutting edge and our Sunday sermons are followed by some pretty lively dialogue. Be prepared to be challenged.

Try us out on Sunday mornings. We have coffee and cookies from 10:40am and our service is from 11am to 12pm . You’ll find Glenaven in Chambers Street , just two blocks along North Road from the Garden’s supermarket.

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Takataapui Hui-a-Motu 2004

Maori Gay, Lesbian and Transgender Conference

3 – 5 December 2004 , Waipapa Marae, Wynyard St , Auckland University, Auckland City Tamaki makau rau

For more information, contact Eriata Peri, [email protected], 04-381-6640

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Civil Union Bill

by Tor Devereux

A lot has happened in regard to the Civil Union Bill and the Relationships (Statutory References) Bill since the last issue of the OGT. Written submissions on the Bills closed early in August and the Justice and Electoral Select Committee received 3263 individual submissions and 2907 form submissions. At this stage it’s not known publicly how many of these submissions were in support of the Bills and how many were not. An analysis of the submissions will be done for the Select Committee by their advisers from the Ministry of Justice, and the information about the number of for and against submissions will be included in the advisers' departmental report. The departmental report is confidential to the Select Committee until the Bills go back to Parliament and copies of the report will then be available from the parliamentary library.

Almost immediately after the closing date for written submissions, the Select Committee began to hear oral submissions – 352 in total. This continued throughout the rest of August, September and was completed early in October. People appeared before the Committee in person in Auckland , Wellington and Christchurch , while others presented their oral submissions by videoconference from centres such as Dunedin .

The Committee then considers all the submissions and as mentioned above a report is written to go back to Parliament. The Bills then need to pass through a second and third reading, both of which will be conscience votes as with the first reading. At this stage the timeframe for the progression of these Bills is not known, but the original plan was to have the second and third readings take place before the end of the year.

There have been other things happening in the interim as well, the most public perhaps being the “Enough Is Enough” rally in Wellington in August which was organised by the Destiny Church . I think that enough has certainly been written and said about that dark moment in New Zealand’s social history, but I must add that I was surprised that the organisers seemed to go out of their way to set themselves up for criticism from the media and the general public – the uniform clothing, the chanting, the raised fists, the inclusion of children, and so on – and, of course, Pastor Brian Tamaki’s “words of wisdom”.

I have to admit that I expected Pastor Tamaki to be slicker and better able to work the media to his advantage – not that I’m complaining since every time he opens his mouth what comes out is so incredible and extreme that most people are unable to take him seriously. The “Enough Is Enough” rally also put Destiny Church in the spotlight in terms of the way the organisation is run and much has been written about the compulsory tithing that is part of Destiny and the amount of money that Pastor Tamaki and his wife are paid for their roles within the Church and the lifestyle they consequently enjoy.

But, back to the Bills that sparked this outpouring of conservative, patriarchal, fundamentalist beliefs. Groups and individuals against the Bills have claimed that New Zealanders are not ready for these Bills and do not want them. I have always felt intuitively that the average heterosexual New Zealander wouldn’t give a toss if two gay men or two lesbian women could have their relationship legally recognised by the state – after all, it won’t affect them or their relationships (formal or informal) at all. And indeed, a recent investigation by the New Zealand Herald has proved this to be true: the majority of New Zealanders don’t have a problem with the Civil Union and Relationships (Statutory References) Bills becoming law.

Consequently, let’s hope that when these Bills come back to Parliament for their second and third readings that the vote reflects this and that within the near future New Zealand will be a country where its LGBT/queer citizens are treated with respect, equality and dignity.

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A Bit Of D.I.Y. ...

by Andrew Metcalfe

It is turning into autumn in Scotland , with the leaves on the trees starting to change colour, the days getting shorter, while mist and mushrooms are making their appearance. On a recent Saturday I put my one and only suit in the car and headed south to Scotland ’s biggest city, Glasgow . After the usual hold ups (car smash on the A80 which brought traffic to a crawl for over 5 miles and, I’m afraid, a compulsive detour to IKEA), I arrived at a small hotel on the outskirts of town on the main road to Loch Lomond .

People were starting to gather for a ceremony that was to take place: there were men in kilts, women with their posh clothes on, babies and older people – the kind of mixture you would usually get at weddings and other such occasions. Last minute rehearsals for songs were done, drinks purchased at the bar to calm last minute nerves, until finally the crowd stood as the wedding party and family solemnly processed into Widor’s Toccata. For before all their friends and family, Elaine and Carole were about to make vows and promises to each other.

It was really just like a wedding – although we knew it wasn’t. What we had planned by many emails, phone calls and meetings for the past few months has no legal recognition in any UK court of law. It may have been “pointless” in that sense, but in every other way it was extremely meaningful. There were tears and laughter, with an electric atmosphere as these two women faced each other and made promises in front of the crowd. There were botched lines and moments of laughter – just as you get at any other event like this with real, live human people. The gathered people sang “Take this moment, sign and space, all my friends around, here among us is the place where your love is found”. You could feel the change in some folk who, to start with, were not sure what they thought of it all. At the end, all of us had been profoundly moved.

No marriage certificate (we had a Certificate of Commitment), no church or minister. Just a group of friends having a do-it-yourself ceremony that was, in the words of the photographer, more powerful than many “real” weddings she had been to. So, to my friends Elaine and Carole, those of us who helped put all of this together for you are proud of you both and what you chose to do. At the end of the day, the most important thing really is Love.

Carole and Elaine’s Promises:

In the presence of our family and friends,

I take you to be my life partner:

I promise to love you, comfort and encourage you,

to be open and honest with you

and to be faithful to you.

I promise to share your plans,

ideals and emotions

through times of joy and times of sorrow,

and cherish you from this day on.

Andrew is currently living and working in Perthshire, Scotland . You can contact him at: [email protected]

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Girls #3

by Sarah Noble

Catherine Deneuve

Will anybody believe me when I say that I fell for Catherine Deneuve totally unaware that she was a lesbian icon? Perhaps not. But it’s true. Until about a year and a half ago I knew the name and nothing else, and assumed she was just some art-film Juliette Binoche-type French actress - and I don’t like Juliette Binoche. And then I watched So Graham Norton one night and there she was. Goodness me, I thought, she’s not what I expected. However, the real turning point was the movie 8 Femmes (8 Women). I’d meant to see it when I was in France and never got around to it; then when I saw that it was on at Metro and that it starred this Catherine Deneuve whom I now rather liked I was determined to see it. What a movie. Highly highly recommended. A dead man with a knife in his back and eight women - all suspects - snowed into a house in the 1950s. And reigning over them all as the murdered man’s wife Gaby is la belle Catherine, glorious in green velvet and mindbendingly blonde and gorgeous.

So anyway after that (it’s a musical by the way so she sings) I knew I had to know more about this woman. But - and here it gets unbelievable again - I have yet to see The Hunger. I know it’s required viewing, and all that. One day I’ll see it. Even now, though, I’ve only seen a handful of Catherine Deneuve movies including, I have to admit, one which I consider possibly the worst movie I’ve ever seen: The Convent. Catherine started her career as a very innocent looking blonde in the 60s, lipsynching her way through The Umbrellas of Cherbourg. She became a big star as the housewife/prostitute in Belle de Jour. But I’ve seen neither film - personally I like Catherine best post-1980. Like Judy Garland, she can make a movie I would never watch otherwise utterly enjoyable.

And yes, apparently she’s a lesbian icon. She seduced Susan Sarandon as a vampire in The Hunger, she’s a professor in love with a female student in Les Voleurs, and she has the most fabulous kiss with Fanny Ardant in 8 Femmes. She also sued a lesbian magazine called Deneuve for using her name. The editor claimed it wasn’t named after Catherine at all, but honestly I’m on Catherine’s side here - whether it is or not, everybody’s going to think it is. And people like to think that she might just be a lesbian; in an interview I read she mentioned the fact that while French journalists don’t care too much if she’s on holiday with a man, if it’s a woman then they latch on immediately. This despite a (brief) marriage to David Bailey and two children, to Roger Vadim and Marcello Mastroianni respectively.

Yet as I say I was oblivious to all this when I first encountered the lovely Catherine. I knew that she was mentioned in the four or so pages of Camille Paglia I ever managed to read, but that was all. No matter, the woman is absolutely and utterly irresistible. Or at least I think so. That blonde hair for a start (although she was a brunette on Graham Norton - her natural colour possibly). And then, well, I don’t know, but clearly she’s got something going for her. She was even at one point the model for Marianne, the woman silhouetted on French stamps, the symbol of France . What more is there to say but Vive la Deneuve!

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Philippa Goes Farming

by Philippa Jamieson

That's me, the Fool in the tarot deck, that optimistic traveller, standing with one foot on the ground and the other poised over the abyss, risking but totally trusting.

December 2001 was when I launched off into a new life, giving up the security of my job in Dunedin , leaving behind my friends and family, my house - and my cats. And for what? To gad about the countryside working on organic farms, for no money at all. Was I mad? Quite possibly, but most people seemed to admire what I was doing, and some of them sighed wistfully, saying they'd do the same if they could.

What I initially imagined might be a year of wandering turned into two, and now I'm into my third year. “WWOOFing” has become my lifestyle. For the uninitiated, WWOOF stands for Willing Workers on Organic Farms, and is a volunteer scheme whereby you work 4-5 hours a day in exchange for your food and board. To join, you pay $30 and receive a directory of hosts, with their contact details and information about their farms (WWOOF NZ contact details are included at the end of this article).

I wholeheartedly recommend it, even for those of you tied to a job or kids, you can take a few days off or even just a weekend. Yes, you have to work, but it's usually not too onerous, and you'll get some country air and exercise, and have the satisfaction of knowing that you're helping the environment. Plus, you invariably get served great organic food. Take the kids - they'll love feeding the chooks and other such tasks. Wwoofing can also work well as an apprenticeship for people seriously interested in getting into organics in some form.

At first, the freedom of my new lifestyle was unbelievable. I was no longer tied to the time or the day of the week. It could be Monday morning and I'd be driving a tractor, Wednesday noon rounding up sheep, Friday afternoon swimming in the river, Saturday night drinking Sunset Valley wine from last year's harvest that I picked.

I set out to learn as much as possible about a range of organic farming activities, mostly horticultural, and have been on about 40 farms of all kinds, from orchards to market gardens, grain farms, a vineyard, a hapu-based enterprise, sheep and cattle farms, a dairy farm, herb farms, lifestyle blocks, eco villages and communities.

Although I'm already an organic convert, wwoofing has strengthened my conviction that we need to abandon our addiction to synthetic chemicals, and live in tune with nature, look after Mother Earth. Many organic farmers I stayed with are not only putting this into practice on their farms, but are also taking on the roles of part-time organic scientists and researchers, political lobbyists and environmental crusaders.

These campaigners reveal in their research what many of the public suspect: that GE is a risky business and that many of the outcomes we know about so far are bad; that if a sprayer has to wear protective clothing, it can't be good for the sprayer or the consumer; that if a product has several long scientific-sounding ingredients, that is reason to query its goodness for the human body. It really is common sense to produce healthy food without toxins and additives - for us, for the plants, for the animals, for the whole ecosystem.

I enjoy driving, especially off the highway, and on unfamiliar roads, where new vistas are around every corner. Until last Christmas, my car had only an AM radio, so I'd twiddle the dial between National Radio and whatever local radio station was playing something halfway decent, and if the going got rough, I'd just sing. Travelling has been fun, but hard sometimes too. Living out of a pack, or at least a car, is a pain.

Constantly being in other people's spaces means having to fit in around other people's routines and lifestyles, and having reduced privacy. Sticking to my morning routine of diary writing and yoga has been a challenge sometimes, especially in caravans where there isn't enough room to do a headstand, or when I have to be on deck in the shearing shed by 7am . Farming life has its own seasonal rhythm, but you have to be prepared for anything - for hail to badly damage the fruit, for the cows to crash the fence just as you've sat down for dinner, for the irrigation system to break down just when it's needed the most.

Leaving my friendship network behind has been hard, but many of my hosts have become friends, as has the occasional fellow WWOOFer, and I've been able to visit friends and acquaintances all over the country. Email has helped me keep in touch with lots of friends back home, and from time to time I've popped back to Dunedin and surprised people by turning up at a social event.

There are some queer folk out there in rural New Zealand , but not that many that I've come across. I've made an effort to wwoof with lesbians, and have so far been hosted by five dyke households, all but one in the North Island , including at Aradia, the women's land in the Coromandel. There was one couple I didn't even realise were lesbians until I met them, and was slightly embarrassed to be taken aback, to have assumed they were hets. My excuse is that one of them had a unisex name, and in fact they both had the very same names as my previous wwoof hosts, who were a heterosexual couple.

To earn a little money while travelling, and for professional development, this erstwhile OGT writer and editor has done some freelance writing for magazines and newspapers over the last couple of years - particularly for Organic NZ (the magazine of the Soil and Health Association). My dream of a self-sufficient lifestyle in the country is still there, but I haven't yet found a place that really calls me. And no, I haven't found a partner either. I trust that everything is proceeding as it should and the Goddess has something wonderful in store. Right now I have the luxury of taking a break from farming life and am in an idyllic spot near Purakanui writing a book about my wwoofing experiences. Watch this space!

WWOOF in NZ: Andrew & Jane Strange, PO Box 1172 , Nelson, tel/fax 03-544-9890, email a&[email protected], website www.wwoof.co.nz

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Cruising … Canal Style

by Caroline

I was a bit nervous getting off the plane in France . I was about to spend seven days on a boat cruising down the Canal du Midi with eight other women who I had never met. But first I had to get on the train to Castelnaudary. And I don’t speak French.

We were only going to travel along a small section of the canal from Castelnaudary to the Mediterranean , although the canal stretches all the way from the Atlantic to the Mediterranean having been built to allow easier export of the local produce including, of course, the wine. Now it is used mainly for pleasure cruising and tourism. I managed to find my way to Castelnaudary and met my fellow travellers. We collected our barge and, since none of us had ever sailed before, the rental company gave us some quick instructions on driving the barge and on how to negotiate the locks on the canal.

Immediately out of the boat harbour we had to navigate our way through a series of five locks so we headed off feeling very confident and managed to sail under the stone bridge without any problems. However, it all went horribly wrong when we tried to line up to wait for the first lock gate to be opened for us. After about five minutes of rather random and confused steering we managed to get the boat tied up in the correct position; however, we had done a complete 360 degree turn and were facing back the way we had come with no idea how to turn the boat around again. This fiasco was all played out much to the amusement of the elderly local population who were sitting on benches under the nearby trees - probably their weekly entertainment. Fortunately one of the employers from the rental company came and showed us how to turn the boat around; we made it through the locks and we were on our way.

After this we had no other major problems and, in fact, often created a bit of a stir among the often quite conservative, local population by managing without any male help at all. So we spent a great week sitting on the deck in the sun as we cruised down the canal past ancient villages, acres of vineyards and fields of sunflowers. Even the smallest of villages had at least one very good quality restaurant and a vineyard with wine tasting so we took time to stop frequently to sample the local produce. We also stopped at a couple of larger towns, including the medieval walled city of Carcassonne and Beziers where I could have done serious damage with my credit card if I had had more time.

We were all a little disappointed to arrive at our final stop and have to return our barge and go our separate ways. However, I had one more day before I had to return to work in London which was well spent drinking coffee in a café overlooking the Mediterranean , lying on the beach and swimming before struggling back onto the plane with great memories and my luggage weighed down with bottles of French wine.

Trips on the Canal du Midi are organised annually by Bushwise Women. For dates and other trips offered in New Zealand and overseas see www.bushwise.co.nz

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PFLAG Report

New Home For PFLAG South Office

Last month the Dunedin Methodist Mission moved its office from Moray Place and PFLAG South moved with it to our new location at 95 Fitzroy Street , Kew .

It's not hard to find us - Fitzroy Street is the last on the left along Hillside Road , just before the Forbury Road/David Street roundabout (or opposite the Waterloo Hotel if you are more familiar with this landmark). Our office is in a two-storied house which is the first round the corner on the left-hand side.

We're delighted with our new office which is upstairs and has a pleasant suburban outlook. We hope you'll pay us a visit and have a chat and a cuppa. Our office hours remain the same – 10am to 2pm each Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

Additions To Our Library

Our collection of resources continues to grow and may be borrowed by anyone with a genuine interest in understanding and supporting glbt people. Recent additions to our collection of videos are:

Parents Talking - Sir Ian McKellen introduces this collection of stories and viewpoints of some of the wonderful men and women who belong to the Manchester Parents Group, a branch of Fflag, the UK equivalent of PFLAG.  (Also available on their web site http://www.manpg.co.uk/photos_parents_talking.htm)

Paternal Instinct - An intimate study of an American gay couple as they seek to become parents through surrogacy.

Trembling Before God - a documentary examining attitudes towards gays and lesbians in Orthodox Jewish Communities.

Secret Intersex - Looks at the issues faced by people in the UK who are born with dual or undetermined sexuality.

Monthly Meetings

Our August meeting had to be cancelled because of the heavy snow that continued to fall throughout the day, but there were no such problems in September when our guest speaker was Barbara Perry, who with her husband helped establish one of the first Drop-In Centres for people with HIV/ AIDS in Melbourne .

PFLAG South meets at Community House, cnr Moray Place & Great King St at 7.30pm on the 4th Monday of each month.

PFLAG Social Night

Thanks to Erin and Jean who kindly arranged for us to have dinner together at Dicey O'Rileys, which was a most enjoyable occasion. It was great to get to know people in a relaxed way and not more formally at a meeting. We're planning to meet again like this sometime.

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Wellington PPTA Safer Schools Meeting

In August Sue and Erin attend a meeting in Wellington called to find ways of promoting the safety of gay staff and students in High Schools. The group included teachers, health teachers, counsellors, youth workers, Family Planning Association, Rainbow Youth from Auckland , a lawyer from the Human Rights Commission, the Head of Onslow College and PFLAG South!

The government has policies about care for difference, but at present there is no specific wording that requires a school to actively promote a culture of gay friendliness and acceptance.

“It was a very useful meeting,” said Sue. “The work is huge and we at PFLAG are so small. It will be good to work with others. It was wonderful to talk with all these other people and to hear of the work they have done. They were delighted that PFLAG exists. And they were impressed at all we had done and plan to do. We were told that the influence of parents was of enormous importance in the community, as well as on young gay people.”

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Homosexual Panic Defence

by Tor Devereux

I know that quite a bit has already been written about the verdict in the murder trial of David McNee, but I still felt compelled to add my two cents worth to the discussion. This year we in the queer community have had to endure a lot of negative dialogue about ourselves, our lives, our relationships and our families as a result of debate generated by the Civil Union and Relationships Bills. While this has been unpleasant and frustrating, much of it has been so bizarre and extremist that it can be brushed off fairly easily (although cumulatively it can become very destructive, especially for individuals struggling to come to terms with their sexuality). However, all of this reaches another level and becomes much more insidious and ominous when this underlying homophobia and prejudice come into play in areas as significant as verdicts by juries in criminal trials.

Earlier this year David McNee, an interior designer who also happened to be gay, was killed in his Auckland home by being punched in the head multiple times (somewhere in the order of 30-50 times) by someone called Phillip Edwards who then left him to die in his own vomit and blood. (Edwards also stole McNee’s car when he took off, and then boasted about what he had done in the days to follow.) There was no doubt in this case that Edwards caused the death of McNee because he actually confessed to it. What the jury had to decide, though, was whether Edwards was guilty of murder or manslaughter, and the deciding factor was to be whether or not Edwards was “provoked”. Because of the circumstances of the interaction between McNee and Edwards immediately prior to McNee’s death (McNee had picked Edwards up and was paying him for sexual services), the provocation defence employed in this trial by Edwards’ lawyer was the so-called “homosexual panic defence” and it was argued that this provided justification for Edwards to be found guilty of the lesser charge of manslaughter.

Essentially the “homosexual panic defence” is a legal defence used in court which argues that certain behaviours (often extremely violent) are justifiable or understandable because the victim made a homosexual pass at or advance towards the perpetrator and, “naturally” this is so offensive and unacceptable that the perpetrator simply lost control and lashed out in shock and horror – that is, the perpetrator was driven to commit the crime because of the victim’s actions.

In my opinion it is reprehensible that such a defence was used by Edwards’ lawyer and considered by the jurors, especially in the year 2004 in New Zealand . However, what I find even more mind-blowing is that the judge in this case actually suggested to the jury that they should seriously consider provocation here – and after days of deliberation the jury announced that they had found Edwards not guilty of murder (but guilty of the lesser charge of manslaughter).

What does this verdict say about the value of the lives of gay people in New Zealand ? What does it say about our judicial system? What does it say about homophobia in this country and its continued acceptability? It says a lot – and all of it pretty scary and dismaying for queer New Zealanders, their friends, families and supporters.

In 2001 Amnesty International described the acceptance of the homosexual panic defence as state-sanctioned homophobia, and just recently this defence has been rejected in Georgia, USA (a generally pretty conservative state) where the district attorney of Atlanta had this to say about the defence, “It is demeaning, outrageous, insulting and downright ridiculous for defendants to believe that the death of any human being is justified because he or she is homosexual.” In two cases in Georgia this year defence lawyers have attempted to use the homosexual panic defence and on both occasions they have not been successful.

But the McNee case is not the only instance of the successful use of this defence in very recent times here in New Zealand . In August I read about another case in which the homosexual panic defence was again employed to get a murder charge reduced to manslaughter, although I do not think that this case was widely reported on. (No doubt the only reason why McNee’s became headline news was because of his “celebrity” status.) In this second example, 17-year-old Amsheen Arif Ali of Papatoetoe was accused of murdering his uncle by marriage, Colin Hart, following what Ali considered a homosexual advance. In addition to the homosexual panic defence, other mitigating factors, including the perpetrator’s religion (Muslim), were also taken into account by the judge when it came to sentencing, and Ali was given just three years in jail.

So why is the homosexual panic defence still working and being taken seriously in New Zealand ? According to Dr Alison Laurie (director of the gender and women’s studies programme at Victoria University ) it’s because of homophobia. As she rightly pointed out, there is no “heterosexual panic defence” available to women who might find themselves in similar circumstances. Laurie also commented that, “There are large numbers of men who like casual sex and some of them like to buy it. It’s considered that it’s a natural thing that heterosexual men are doing. But the gay man is considered a predator, a terrible immoral person who brought it on himself.”

Peter Wells has also spoken out about this in an article that was published in the NZ Listener. “Listening to a dead person being made responsible for their own violent death is an odd sensation,” said Wells. He also wrote that, “During the court case, I felt I lived in a foreign country whose justice I could not comprehend. I did not particularly like McNee or what he stood for. But I also couldn't comprehend how his behaviour could be a justifiable reason for such a revolting and violent killing – or a rationale for such a killing to be downclassed from murder to manslaughter. It evoked in me a sense that homosexuals living in New Zealand were still second-class citizens – "almost" humans, who would never get full human rights.”

And some people in the straight community think we want “special” rights! Surely wanting not to be bashed to death because of who we are and wanting to be treated as full and equal human beings if we are attacked is not too much to expect in New Zealand , a country that traditionally has been quite progressive and forward-thinking in terms of social progress. It is my hope that things such as the passing of the Civil Union Bill and the Relationships (Statutory References) Bill, as well as other legislation that acknowledges us, our relationships and families, will assist with changing attitudes and, eventually, an advance (or a perceived advance) from someone of the same sex will not be regarded as an excuse for murder.

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kd lang … in New Zealand !

This summer kd lang will be playing two concerts in New Zealand - one in Wellington and one in Auckland . (Originally she was also scheduled to play in Christchurch , but apparently this concert has been cancelled.) At her concerts kd will be backed by New Zealand ’s foremost symphony orchestras as well as her band and she’ll perform a range of songs spanning her career, including material from her new album, “Hymns of the 49th Parallel”. Tickets are available from Ticketek.

Concert Dates:

Wellington - 7 February 2005

Auckland - 8 February 2005

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Theatre Review

Cherish

by Ken Duncum

A WOW! Production directed by Lisa Warrington

24 September to 9 October 2004 at the

Dunedin Public Art Gallery

Reviewed by Louise Petherbridge

Wonderful to see an excellent play with an excellent cast - this production of Cherish by Ken Duncum was just that. Under Lisa Warrington’s expert direction, Patrick Davies, Hilary Halba, Ciara Mulholland and Rangimoana Taylor prowled, pranced and cavorted, charming us with insouciance while furtive little furry hints of tension and dismay scampered in the undergrowth.

Le Plot: Book illustrator Jess and kindergarten teacher Maeve each have a daughter fathered by Tom. Tom lives with contract lawyer William. The deal is that, now, Jess will have another child for Tom and William to raise.

Does it end happily? Mate, this is life, and one should not ask such questions, especially just before bedtime.

As her pregnancy advances, Jess realises she can’t give up the baby. Tom begs, cajoles and lashes out to get it. In the process there is considerable damage and much is revealed; not only about the characters as individuals, but about human nature, loss, pain and compromise.

As with all good plays, the universal predicaments of the characters and our belief in the characters’ reality linger long after the performance. One loves them all immensely - but dear Mr Duncum, could you possibly prevail on William not to book four-week holidays in the Algarve ? Well, everyone to his taste I suppose.

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Theatre Preview

Silly Cow

The first full-length play to be staged live at the Academy is a bitchy revenge comedy about tabloid journalism. Written by Ben Elton (Black Adder and The Young Ones), Silly Cow follows a day in the life of Doris Wallis, a celebrity columnist with a pen full of poison. Originally written for comedian Dawn French, Doris is a cross between David Hartnell and Amanda from Melrose Place .

During the course of the play Doris is hilariously deposed as a “drug addict” by her accountant, sued for libel by a mad actress whose thunder-thighs Doris insulted and exposed to the world as a lesbian by her best friend. Just when things can’t get any worse for Doris , she ends up tied to a chair with a dead body at her feet.

Directed by Academy co-owner Damian Thorne, Silly Cow sees the realisation of a dream for Thorne and partner Andrea Broad. The Academy has proven extremely viable as a cinema, playing host to Out Takes for the past two years, but the couple have always had grander ideas for the 60 seat space. With the introduction of the Academy Live brand they hope to create a successful merger between film and theatre, and give Dunedin artists another choice of venue to stage their works.

Silly Cow is the perfect show for your end-of-year-work-shout, or simply if you want a riotous “politically incorrect” night out at the theatre. Tickets are $19, with a $15 concession price for students and beneficiaries. If you book a group of 10 or more tickets are just $12 each, with one person getting in free. The show opens on November 18 and runs until December 11 at the Academy – 50 Dundas Street .

Thorne hopes that the show is well supported by the gay community and warns that the twist at the end of Silly Cow is bigger than a Dynasty cliffhanger.

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The Man Who Spoke 65wpm

This interview with Dunedin theatre man Patrick Davies took place during the October season of Cherish, in which he played a gay father-to-be. A voluble chap, Patrick managed a whopping 6000 words in the space of about 90 minutes, so this is just a smidgen of what he actually said. We’ve tried to retain the most bawdy bits, for your entertainment.

Questions and abridgement by Anna Chinn

Give me a brief biography of yourself, if you please.

I’m now 39. I went to school here, went through the Catholic system - yahoo yahoo! And then when everyone finished school and went to university I went too and started an English degree. About two months into that I went, “What am I actually doing here? I don’t really f***ing know”, so I dropped out and went and worked in the cataloguing department at the Central Library. And then I went back to university, and I started doing a music degree and took theatre studies at the same time. At the end of that year, the technician at Allen Hall was leaving so I took over her job even though I’d never done lights before, and basically from there just flew by the seat of my pants.

You mentioned going through the Catholic school system. Do you have an amusing coming-out story for us?

Oh God, no! Not in a Catholic school in those days! But it turns out there are at least five people from my seventh-form class who have come out since, all with varying degrees of success within their own backgrounds. It was your classic rugby-oriented school where if you played sports you were fine and if you didn’t, you weren’t. So, if anything, that really stopped me coming out and I think it’s fantastic hearing so many people are coming out in like sixth and seventh form now. I didn’t really come out until I was in my early to mid 20s and … most of my brothers and sisters, and especially my friends, just went, “Yeah hello, we knew. Dumb-ass!” So that was a bit of a let down, really.

As an actor, until Cherish, you’ve always played straight heartthrobs - perhaps with the exception of James K. Baxter who couldn’t really be described as a heartthrob -

More like a smelly throb!

Yes. So why the straight roles - is it just because there are hardly any gay roles?

Yeah. I mean, I take jobs because they’re there. That’s how I pay my bills. And I suit those roles, so I get cast in them. And I think it’s probably because there aren’t that many gay roles out there that are of a naturalistic way.

How have you found playing Tom in Cherish? Is it harder or easier than playing a straight role?

Well, it’s kinda, it’s the same actually, because at the end of the day I look for the traits of the character within myself, and bits of things from people all around, so that, I hope, the whole is a composite of people and never just me doing an imitation, or myself. I’m always intrigued by that question; especially when a straight person plays a gay role we say, “How do you find being a gay?” You never hear anybody playing Othello being asked, “So what’s it like being a strangler of women?” But I must admit I’ve always wondered, if I was really attracted to somebody and I had to act with them in a very sexual way, I’ve always wondered how that’d go. But, I mean, that would be the same with a heterosexual and a different-sex partner.

I’ve heard there’s a sort of parallel with Cherish, of you fathering a child, going on in real life?

Yes. I’ve got two friends of mine - one of them I’ve been kicking around with for a very long time - and her partner. They’ve been together seven years now and they are looking to have children. So, in that parallel, we’ve been trying I think now for a year to get pregnant. And people do ask me, “Given that circumstance, what’s it like knowing that Tom wants to be part of parenting and [is denied and it gets messy]?” But I find that not really a parallel because I’m firmly of the opinion that I am just the sperm donor. It’s not about me sharing the baby. In a sense the thing that really excites me is the way this is a new kind of family which is an evolution, I think, socially and a welcome one.

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PFLAG Office

PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) has an office. Here are the details:

95 Fitzroy St , Kew , Dunedin (within the offices of the Dunedin Methodist Mission)

Office telephone: 477-2000

Help line: 025-686-9304

Email: [email protected],

Postal address: PO Box 5266 , Dunedin

Hours: 10am to 2pm on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays

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Book Reviews

As summer and the holidays approach you may have time for a bit of extra reading. Here are some (mostly recent) titles that you might like to check out.

An Immaculate Mistake

by Paul Bailey  (Penguin, 2004)

Review by Martha Morseth

The angst and anguish of growing up gay, or just growing up male, in South London in the 1940s and 50s is told with a sardonic touch of lightness through a collection of short essays in Paul Bailey’s An Immaculate Mistake. Bailey reflects on incidents from his childhood and adolescence and his life in London and Paris as a young man, his mother playing a feature role in his memory. Bailey describes her affection for him, her third child, as a linguistic code which he had to decipher. “I ascertained, somehow, that my mother’s love for me was expressed in sarcasm, in a code of jokes and barbs I had to take the trouble to master, if I so wanted.” When his mother is old and near death, she reveals, in the same coded way, albeit affectionately, “You were our mistake”; thus the title for the book.

His mother’s goals for her children were to be immaculate in physical and moral cleanliness, know their place in the English social system and be “normal”. “Normal” meant being like everyone else in the working class neighbourhood of Battersea. It certainly did not mean being a “sissy”, a “pansy” or an “Oscar Wilde”. His mother, naturally, was bewildered when Paul showed a predilection for the stage, playing the part of Sarah, Duchess of Marlborough, in a school drama. When Paul was finally cast as King Henry II later in another play, his mother thought that was an improvement but confessed she preferred him as Sarah “for all that I was being a man at last”. The reader can only be grateful that Bailey’s dramatic efforts on English stages came to very little.

During his childhood her perennial question was, “Why can’t you be more natural?” i.e. like a proper man. This was replaced in his twenties by “When are you going to marry and settle down?” Later the query became, “Why don’t you find yourself a proper job?” She continued to ask this until 1967 when his first book was published and for the next seventeen years after that.

Besides Bailey’s ongoing struggles to exist in harmony with his mother and his father, who died when Paul was still young, the book touches on a variety of other topics such as family secrets, a seduction at twelve by a slightly older female, Paul’s relationships with other young men, including an infatuation with a married bus driver, the nature of spunk and his unremarkable career at drama school.

His mother, however, remains the strongest contender for the main character slot in Bailey’s vignettes. She comes alive mostly through her no-nonsense, sarcastic admonitions and practical homilies. She tells him to be more like other boys, not make scenes (“only girls do that”) and advises that “You can’t have too much cabbage. Greens are good for you, especially when they’re that price.”

This is a fast-moving book with short chapters, perfect for reading in bed, except you’ll probably want to finish it in one night.

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TIME FOR A CAPSTAN

Reviews by J Z Robinson

This winter, friends have kindly loaned me their library books and I have read twice as much as planned. The cold months, well yes, they've flown by.

Sacred Monsters

by John Richardson  (Random House, 2001)

The first title that really excited me was John Richardson's Sacred Monsters, a series of essays on twentieth century celebs: Capote, Chicago, Picasso and Sackville-West, to name a few. Richardson , one imagines, would be the perfect dinner guest - urbane and entertaining. In the chapter entitled “Peggy Guggenheim’s Bed”, he describes the wine at her table (in Venice , overlooking the Grand Canal ) as being so awful that its scarcity was its redeeming feature.

Mrs Keppel And Her Daughter

by Diana Souhami  (HarperCollins, 1996)

Mrs Keppel And Her Daughter by Diana Souhami is probably the last word on poor old Violet Trefusis. This is a well researched and written biography that presents Violet as someone prepared to give away the world for love. In stark contrast, of course, to her mother, the aforementioned Mrs K. (mistress to Edward VII) and the object of that love, Vita Sackville-West. Three cheers for Violet I thought on completing this book. She loved and lost and didn't prosper. Hypocrisy carried the day. Even her sister stabbed in the front. No wonder she became such a pretentious old bore. Mrs Keppel And Her Daughter is a cautionary tale, especially for those young enough not to remember life before homosexual decriminalisation.

Dress Your Family In Corduroy And Denim (2004) & Holidays On Ice (1997)

by David Sedaris  (Little, Brown and Co)

David Sedaris, we learn from cover notes, is a short American playwright of Greek descent living somewhere in France with someone called Hugh. The two littlish volumes of his stories that were passed to me are Dress Your Family In Corduroy and Denim and Holidays On Ice. He became famous for his radio reading of “Santaland Diaries” (included in Holidays On Ice), an essay about his temporary employment as an elf in Macey's department store in New York . If you care for something gently shaken and lightly stirred, try the witty Mr Sedaris. He's available from the library.

Hello Sailor! The Hidden History Of Gay Life At Sea

by Paul Baker and Jo Stanley  (Longman, 2004)

Hello Sailor! (the book, not the band) was sent to me by the OGT editor. Subtitled “The Hidden History of Gay Life At Sea”, it is a serious study of life in the British Merchant Navy in the forty years since the end of the Second World War. The merchant fleet consisted of passenger ships and freighters and it would seem that everyone was queer when we left the pier. In a period when gay life was illegal and often dangerous, men at sea could explore and play with the parameters of sexual identity. They shared their cabins, pleasures, aspirations, porn from one foreign port and frocks from another.

They also developed Polari, their own language (actually more of a lexicon). A few words of it have washed up here – “troll”, “mince” and “cruise”, for instance, have no need of explanation; but then “Naff”, gentle reader, is a Polari acronym for “Not available for fucking”. Polari, like Camp, has had its day. Decriminalisation and the rise of the airlines heralded changes for the sea queens.

The authors of Hello Sailor! interviewed a number of seafarers and organised the results in a scholarly fashion. The illustrations are supplied from the interviewees’ photograph albums. The “Further Reading List” will be valuable to those with the sea legs for more study of this aspect of our history. Bona! Omi-Palones!

Hello Sailor! can be judged by its cover - a hand tinted photograph of two sailor boys dressed down for a quiet moment together on deck. The book is co-authored by Paul Baker and Jo Stanley, specialists in Polari and maritime gender studies.

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The New Penguin Book Of Gay Short Stories

edited by David Leavitt and Mark Mitchell  (Penguin Books, 2003)

Review by Anna Chinn

Although this book appealed to me because it was pink and had cherubs on the cover, and although plenty of us use the word gay to include lesbian, make no mistake - The New Penguin Book Of Gay Short Stories consists exclusively of stories, some graphic, of the male gay experience.

It helps that the selections are arranged in chronological order. They start with a tale first published in 1907 called “Evensong and Morwe Song”, in which there is much bristling unsaid matter and the most literal reference to sex is “He was still on his knees in the thicket”. On through D.H. Lawrence’s innocent frolics and Graham Greene’s famous but inexplicit study of a pair of predatory interior decorators, titled “May We Borrow Your Husband?” (1962), to contemporary writings from the likes of Annie Proulx in which orifices, bodily emissions and genitalia all hang loose. So, depending on your level of prudishness at the moment you pick up the tome, you’ll know approximately where to open it to ensure you don’t get more information than you want. Sometimes it is nice to have a little left to the imagination.

This is not a New Zealand publication, so it is a highlight to have Kiwi Peter Wells’s “Perrin and the Fallen Angel” included. Other highlights are the previously unpublished “Is It Hot? Does It Rain?” by Mark Devish, in which the narrator, a pot-smoking, rock-concert-going student, gets an obsessive attraction to a stranger in a coma; and John Updike’s carefully crafted “Scenes From the Fifties”.

I was disappointed by the E. M. Forster work included, called “The Point of It”, which was a bit of a delirium, really, and ironically seemed to have no point or meaning, or even any relevance to gayness. Meanwhile A. M. Homes’s work called “The Whiz Kids”, in which a gay adolescent meets a girl for a pash but pins her down and urinates on her, was too much for this faint-hearted reader.

However, even these two works were redeemed somewhat by their authors’ skill with the language - a criterion the editors of Gay Short Stories obviously required all the selections to meet before inclusion. The collected authors are variously male, female, both, straight, gay, both; but invariably talented. It is also worth noting that the book has a good introduction, which gives a fairly comprehensive account of the progress of male gay literature.

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The Secret Life Of Laszlo Almasy: The Real English Patient

by John Bierman  (Viking, 2004)

Review by Michael Wooliscroft

Many readers will be drawn to this book because it is a biography of Laszlo Almasy who was the inspiration for Michael Ondaatje's The English Patient from which the eponymous film was made. In that fictional account, as with the film, Laszlo was presented as a heterosexual man. The truth is rather different, at least from the evidence painstakingly collected by Bierman for this book. There is clear evidence that Almasy, a Hungarian spy, adventurer and desert explorer, at least enjoyed a sustained intimate and loving relationship with a young German soldier.

One is left with a frustrated sense that what Bierman has been able to find of Almasy has some tantalising gaps. There is speculation as to his true loyalty(ies) throughout World War II for instance. It is disappointing, though understandable, that Jean Howard, a former MI6 agent, refused to share with Bierman some source documents in her possession which may well be key to uncovering more of Almasy’s character, movements and political affiliations. However, Mrs Howard is writing her own biography of Almasy and one can understand that if she has such vital documents she would wish to be associated with revealing these. Meantime we have a fascinating study of Almasy which leaves the reader keen to learn more of him.

Bierman provides a very useful Prologue to the biography and also a Postscript. I recommend reading the Postscript immediately following the Prologue in order to give a little more immediate context for the mysteries of Almasy which remain. Bierman also writes of biography and the role of imagination and sets out very clearly in the Prologue the role of each:

"Not that this biography is in any sense an attempt to 'put the record straight' on Almasy. Fiction is one thing and biography another and each has its own rules of engagement. Like Ondaatje, this author believes in 'the truth of fiction': that, at its creative best, the novel can reveal more - not so much about a given individual but about his or her character and the human condition in general - than the most rigorously researched, artfully constructed and factually faithful biography. A novelist can 'make things up', in the best sense of the phrase; a biographer cannot."

Bierman also writes that the tension as to whether Almasy was "either opportunistic, in that he saw working for the Nazi war effort as a chance to return to the desert he loved, or else ideological, in that he truly believed in Hitler's war aims ... is the question at the heart of this biography”. It is not one which is fully resolved, however.

As well as insights into Almasy, other people appear and there are several fascinating pages on Unity Mitford, the Mitford “girl” who was infatuated with Hitler and who met a long and sad ending after a botched suicide attempt.

A few years ago I read Bierman's Dark Safari: The Life Behind the Legend of Henry Morton Stanley who “found” Livingstone in Africa . Stanley , like Almasy, was to an extent gay though the evidence for the homosexual part of Almasy's nature is more secure though sparse.

This is a fascinating and almost compelling book - somewhat teasing both in the details that are provided as well as those that cannot be confirmed. However, I thought that Bierman prudently trod the path on erring on the side of caution as a biographer and resisted the almost undoubted temptation to fill in some of the gaps. Tantalising, engaging, and thought provoking – well worth reading!

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Queer Quiz Answers

1. Eleanor Roosevelt

2. Anna-Marie Jagose

3. 11

4. Presbyterian Church

5. 1 December

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