| DE: Oh yeah. Well, I'd like to fucking see the video, you know? Knox: Um, if they were, uh, uh, given money to fight in celebrity boxing, who would win: Manut Bole or It? DE: Ho... I don't know. Dude, that's... That's some pretty rough competition there, man. I, I'd probably say It. Knox: If he wasn't allowed to bite knees. DE: (laughs) Well then, Manut Bole. Knox: Um... what's the most embarassing CD in your collection? DE: The most embarassing CD in my collection? Let me take a look. ... Why, I think it would be Le'rue Delashay's "The Court Composer." That's probably the gayest CD I have. Knox: I don't even know what that is. DE: Well, it's probably better you don't. Knox: It's gay beyond description. DE: It is definately gay beyond description. Knox: I'd say, uh, probably the worst in my collection would be anything by Marduk, uh, Emperor, or Dimmu - Dim - be - bor - Dimmu - DE: Yeah, we get the point. Demon Burger? Knox: Them. How, how... you being a, uh, professional in the black metal industry, how would you, how would you pronounce that? DE: Well, it's technically pronounced "Dim-yu Bor-Geer." Knox: Right? DE: I like calling them Demon Burger. Goats Head with Cradle of Fries, you know? Knox: What uh, what about Borknagar? DE: Uh, I'd, I'd rather save my comment on that one, Dude. Knox: No one likes Borknagar, is that true? DE: Uh.. I certainly don't, you know? But I'm not everyone. Knox: Um... ahem. I like to eat Triscuits. Do you like to eat Triscuits? DE: Um.... Raw meat. You gotta have something to put on the Triscuit. You know, just the plain Triscuit doesn't work. Knox: Right? DE: That uh, that's when you get into condiments. You know? It's like you could have a really sucky food, but condiments could make that sucky food better. Knox: Right, yeah. A plain, plain, you just don't like. It's not, it's not, uh... DE: Take a Triscuit, you know? I mean, think about it. There's nothing dynamic about it. It's just a fucking Triscuit. Knox: Just a, just a Triscuit with no trimmings. DE: Exactly. Knox: Um... hold on, I'm eating a Triscuit. DE: (laughs) Knox: (chewing)... (mouth full) Ok, um... Aright, can I be honest with you? DE: Go right ahead. Knox: I think, uh... I think I, uh, I might suffer from intamacy issues. You see, I can't look people in the eye when I talk to them. And, I'm awkward in one-on-one situations (sniffles). And I, I can't express my feelings. I fear rejection. What do you suggest I do? DE: Oh... well, there's two things. Um... either kill yourself, or get drunk. Knox: (sniffles) I'm straightedge. DE: Oh. Well, suicide's the only option for you, then. Knox: Did uh, did you ever hear that, that straightedge, uh, equates to gaiety? DE: Uh... It was rumored somewhere. Knox: Like those fags in Earth Crisis? DE: Exactly. Knox: If you guys - If you got a chance to play with Earth Crisis, would you take it? DE: No. Knox: That guy wears pink bandanas. DE: I know. Knox: Swear to god. DE: What's up with that? Knox: What a little bitch. DE: Ha. Knox: Um... which would you get down with if you had the chance. Alyssa Milano or Jules Asner? DE: Ooh... well, you know, I'm gonna say Alyssa Milano, Dude. Knox: Do you think she goes for the face painting type? DE: No, but I could convince her. Knox: Take wha? DE: But I could convince her. Knox: You could convince her. DE: Yeah. Knox: How, how would you do that? How would you go about doing that? DE: Well... See, I gotta, I gotta be honest here, too.... Uh... I can't really be intimate, so... you know, if it happens, I'll give you the exclusive interview. How about that? Knox: Would you like to start a support group with me? DE: ... No... Cuz I'm also, you know... here it is. It's like, I'm misanthropic, and I have, uh, intamacy issues. Therefore, I don't mix well with human beings. So, a support group probably wouldn't work too well for me. Knox: I, you know, I don't even classify that as a problem actually. DE: (laughs) Well, you know, just like life, it's all a matter of perspective. Knox: Um, I wrote a song once called, uh "Xenophobic Misanthropia." |
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