It gets disheartening when I try to write
and nothing comes to mind.
I rack my brain for endless moments,
never finding the words I need to say.
I wish I could write again,
like I did when I had inspiration.
Things are bland now, without meaning.
It's like the whole world,
once vibrant with color,
is now pencilled in shades of gray.
Sometimes humor shines through,
momentarily brightening my day.
Sometimes someone will do something
that forces me to adjust my whole perspective.
Sometimes I'll see something unexpected
and be surprised and amazed.
And sometimes hope is all that's left,
a wishing for the impossible to come true,
a longing for insight into life
when I know everything is hidden.
Then it all comes crashing down,
once again drowning me in bland mediocrity.
I let it all come crashing down
because I'm too disheartened to fight.
-1/21/01
Enough
But now things have changed
CHORUS
You always say we'll do something,
I have a Christmas present for you
CHORUS
I think I've finally learned
You've never been a friend;
-1/27/01
I used to know this girl.
She made me feel special.
She made me feel
like I meant something.
She would play with me
and I with her
Back in the good ol' days.
since I went away.
We never talk anymore;
it's not like I don't try.
She's too busy or tired,
or she just plain forgot.
Well, I've had enough.
You always seem to forget to call when you say you will.
Well, I will not put up with this shit.
If I'm not important enough to be remembered sometimes,
I don't want to know you're alive.
we'll get together sometime.
But when I call, you act as though
my voice hurts your ears.
Then you promise (yes, PROMISE)
that you'll call me back,
but you never do.
gathering dust on the table.
I went shopping early
just so you could get it sooner.
But now when I see your gift,
I hope it won't be like last year
when I had to wait till your birthday.
what you're all about.
You attach yourself to people
as a parasite, to use them.
Maybe it's payback
for something that happened long ago.
Or maybe it's just fun.
I see that now.
I don't want to see you
or hear from you ever again.
You meant something to me once,
but now I'm happier
because you will be out of my life.
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