manda . r a i

SARCASTIC ESSAY ONE

Gosh. It's them. They're here. Woohoo. I drop the blinds of my window and plop down in my chair. All this cleaning and dusting better be worth it. And those stupid little brats better not take over my room, even as I think about it I know that would be impossible. Whenever guests came over, they always stayed in my room; the only exception would be my cousin Felix. He stays in my brother's room. Today however, only my cousins Jo and Karen were coming. Who names their kid Jo anyways? That's a guy's name, not a girl's name. My cousin looks like a guy though. She's got that buff boyish look, with a pouty mouth. And she's always running around banging herself against walls or something. Karen's more serious, but she's still too serious for her own good.

"Amanda! Come downstairs to meet your cousins!" my mother called up the stairs. Oh great, here we go... a whole two weeks with my dear cousins. I sluggishly drag my feet out of my room and walk down the stairs. My mother is just opening the door and I hear her cry how lovely it is for them to come over and how wonderful it is to spend a whole Christmas break together. That makes me sick. The parents never have to worry about anything, all they do is buy the food for us to eat. It's up to us kids to keep them entertained and make sure they're enjoying themselves. For my other cousins, it means turning on the N64 and giving them the controller all day, and dude, they're entertained. But this is Jo and Karen, I haven't seen them in what, five or six years? Never talked to them either. What am I supposed to do with them? It's gonna be a horrible two weeks, I can just sense it. And what makes it worse, all the rest of my little cousins are coming over too. Later though. It's going to be some big old family reunion type of thing I suppose. Okay, so I shouldn't say Jo and Karen are little. Karen's older by like what, two years? And Jo is practically as tall as me even though she's three years younger. There I am in the middle again, no one is my age in my family. I'm always stuck either hanging around with older people or hanging around with younger people. Who do I prefer? The younger people. Jo and Karen come into the house dragging their suitcases behind them, all the while speaking perfect Chinese to my mother. Oh great, hopefully they speak English too. I'm not gonna speak Chinese to them for a whole two weeks! I'd rather not talk to them at all. I put on my best smile and go greet them at the door.

"Why hello Karen, so nice to see you again!" I exclaim while helping her with her bags. "Here, let me show you your room." My room actually, but what the he**, I suppose I can let them use it for two weeks as long as they don't touch my computer or anything else. "Hey Jo, what's up?! How was the flight?" Gosh, hopefully they speak English. To my surprise, they did.

"It was okay, took a long time though," Karen answered. They had come all the way from Singapore to stay here. Dude, did I feel special or what. My dear cousins traveled all that way just to see me. Wow. I push open the door to my room and hope they don't screw anything up. "Here you go, one of you can sleep on the top bunk and one on the bottom bunk." I throw their suitcases on the floor, dude, those things were heavy. "Bathroom's that way, kitchen's that way," I gestured toward various parts of my house. "Have fun, bye!" I hurriedly shut the door to my room to let them unpack and stuff, hoping they don't touch anything they're not supposed to. I wander downstairs to find something to do now that I can't go in my room anymore. I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. What fun.

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