manda . r a i //the matrix : backstreet style page2

.THE MATRIX : BACKSTREET STYLE * PAGE 2.

Dude2 invites the Backstreet Boys in, and they all walk in. Dude1, Dude2, and Dude3 lead them all to the auditioning room, which is in the basement.

Nick: Wowerz! Look Kevin! There's a poster of Steve Perry in here! He was in a band called Journey!
Kevin: Yes... Nick... that's lovely.
AJ: Holy Crappin shit! Lookit that design on the wall! That's gonna be my next tattoo!
Brian: Alex, please do not speak with such vulgar language.
Howard: Yeah, like it's not good and stuff like that.
Dude1: Okay guys, you're here to audition for a new movie that we, the Dudes, are making.
Nick: [RAISES HIS HAND] Am I gonna be the superactionhero?!
Dude1: If you get the part, yes.
Nick: Oh boy!! Let's get on with the show! Turn the lights down low, I'm gonna be a superactionhero tonight! [NICK flies around the room making airplane noises]
AJ: Dude, Nick, calm down dude.
Nick: [Putters to a stop in front of the Dudes] What should I do first?! Huh huh?!
Dude1: We're gonna tell you, if ya'll woud just sit down in those chairs.
[The BACKSTREET BOYS sit down in the chairs]
Dude1: Okay, we're makin a new movie called "The Batrix", and it's gonna be really cool, so yeah!
Dude2: Yeap, we're gonna rock. Okay, first thing, we're gonna test your "hot look". So everyone ya'll can like stand up or sit down or whatever and just look hot okay? We're gonna score you on a scale of one to five.
[They all get themselves into position to try to look hot] [The DUDES walk up and down the line] [Howard is up first]
Dude1, 2, & 3: Hmmm.... Howard....
Howard: Yea? Howie *wink* doin? *wink*
Dude2: First of all Howard...
Howard: HowEEE
Dude2: Okay, HowEEE, first of all, lose the wink.
Howard: *wink* What wink? *wink*
Dude2: THAT wink.
Howard: *wink* I'm winking? *wink*
Dude2: [Turns to the other dudes] So it is true, he probably has the winking disease.
Dude1: Yeah, we must cure him.
Howard: HowEEE doin?! *wink* *wink*
Dude1: WEEE doin fine,*wink* *wink* *wink* *wink* HowEE doin?! *wink* *wink*
Howard: Heey.. stop winking at me.
Dude1: I'm winking? *wink* *wink* *wink* *wink*
Howard: AHhhhhh!! STOP iiiiiitttttt!!!!
Dude1: Stop what? *wink* *wink* *wink* *wink* *wink*
Howard: I can't stand it anymore!!!
Dude2: Okay, I think that's enough. [DUDE1 stops winking] So, Howard...
Howard: HowEEE
Dude2: Ahh!! You didn't say HowEEE doing!
Howard: Of course not.
Dude2: Ahhh!! And you didn't wink!
Howard: Why would I?
Dude2: Awesome dude! You cured him!!
Dude1: OooOo yeaa... [Does thumb thing]
Dude2: Okay HowEEE...
Howard: Howard you mean.
Dude2: Awesome, Howard, okay, now look hot.
Howard: [Does the sideways look thing he does in "The Call"]
Dude1: Awesome!! That's wonderful, score of four.
Dude2: [Marks it down on the clipboard] Howard, Four.
Howard: Why don't I get a five?
Dude1: Because you were winking in the beginning, work on it some more.
Howard: Sure thing. [HOWARD begins to do the look thing at Brian, who is next to him]
Brian: Howie, please stop looking at me like that.
Howard: [Continues doing the 'look' at Brian]
Brian: Howie, please stop. You're scaring me.
Howard: [Does the look thing still and does that little evil smile thing]
Brian: Ahhhh!!! [Covers his face with his hands]
Dude3: Howard, will you please turn the other way and practice on the wall or something? Thanks.
Howard: [Does the Look still but smiles evilly and turns to the wall to practice]
Dude3: Okay Brian, look hot.
Brian: [Just stands there and looks up] Is this good?
Dude3: Awwww how cuuuuuttttteeee.
Brian: [Smiles] I suppose that's good. [Looks sad]
Dude3: AAAwwwww lookit Brian.... awwww
Dude2: Aaaaawwww
Dude1: AAaaaawww
Dude3: Give him a four too.
Dude2: [Marks on cliipboard] Brian, Four.
Brian: Why do I get only a four?
Dude3: Because we told you to look hot, not cute.
Brian: Aaww... [looks sad]
Dude3: Aaaawww Brian it's okay, you're still cute. [Hugs him]
Brian: [Cheers up like a little boy]
Dudes: Aaaaawwww that's sooo adorablllleeeee [BRIAN smiles]
Dude2: Awww... [Pats BRIAN on the head] Next!
Nick: Boy oh boy it's MY turn!! [Starts jumping up and down]
Dude1: Calm down Nick, now you gotta look hot or you might not get the part!
Nick: Oh no! How do I look hot?!
Dude1: Umm... suggestions?
Dude3: Umm... we dunno, just look hot, if one of us faints you'll know you succeeded.
Nick: [Smiles cheesily] Hi, my name is NICK, and I will ALways love you!
Dude2: [Whispers to other dudes] Is that the only line he knows?
Dude3: [Whispers back] Yea, I think so.
Dude2: No, Nickolas, sorry, but that doesn't work. I think I'm gonna give you a one. [Starts marking on clipboard]
Nick: [His mouth starts to curve down]
Dude1: Oh no! Dude2! Don't look! It's... it's....
Nick: [He's pouting and he's looking PISSED] I want the part of the superactionhero! [He's looking even more pissed]
Dude2: Holay shabeeeeeeepppp!!!!! [Drops clipboard and thuds over on the ground]
Dude1: [Finishes sentence] the pout....Dude!! Dude! Are you okay? Are you okay?! We might need to call EMS!
Nick: What happened? [Confused]
Dude1: It's your pissed look Nick, try not to do that in front of Dude2 okay? She might never wake up.
Nick: Oh boy, does this mean I get a good score?
Dude2: [Starts to wake up] Oh boy..... perfect five right there.
Nick: [Smiles big] Boy oh boy!! Did you hear that Kevin?! I got a FIVE!!! [Starts jumping up and down]
Kevin: That's nice Nick....
Dude2: Whew... on to AJ.
AJ: Hey dudes.
Dude3: Hey AJ. Look hot.
AJ: [Looks at them over the top of his sunglasses] Heeeyyy babbbeee
Dudes: Whew... Four right there. On to Kevin.
Dude2: Okay Kevin, look hot.
Kevin: [Stands there not moving]
Dude2: Kevin, we said look hot.
Kevin: [Stands there] I am hot... no diggity....
Dude2: Hmmm... [Silence and then.... THUD]
Dude3: [Turns around to find Dude1 on the ground] Humm... it seems Dude1 has fainted.
Dude2: Apparently so.... I suppose that's a five then?
Dude3: Yep, it's a five.
Dude2: [Marks it on clipboard] Okay Dude1, wake up now... Dude?? Dude?? Hello? *waves* Hello?
Dude1: Duuuudddeee...
Dude3: Good, you're alive still.
Dude1: Yeah... wow... a five right there.... yeapp....
Dude2: I got that down already. Good... next... what should we have them do next? heeheehee
Dude3: How bout martial arts?
Dude1: Yeaah.... okay.. oooo yea...
Dude2: Okay you guys! Next we're gonna test your fighting and martial arts skills and stuff like that you know!
Dude1: Oh dear dude, you're gettin the Howard "stuff like that" disease.
Dude2: Oh my... anyways, ya'll should be thinking what kind of fighting you can do! Kevin starts this time.
Dude1: Heeheehee... Go Kevin...
Kevin: Hi................................................. my............................... name..................... is...................... Kevin.......................
Dude3: What kind of fighting is that?
Dude1: A very effective one.... lookit Dude2. [Dude2 has fallen asleep]
Kevin: I call it the slow..... talking........ attack.........
Dude1: Kinda like Jigglypuff from Pokemon... except Kevin's a lot more chiseled... Oooo yeah... good job. Dude, wake up.
Dude2: Huh? Oh... what'd he get?
Dude1: Five.
Dude2: Okay... Next is AJ!
Dude3: So what can you do?
AJ: The Spinning Dangerous Deadly Sunglasses Throw! [Whips off his sunglasses and throws it at the wall] [The wall immediately breaks]
Dudes: Wooooowwwwwwww
Dude3: That'll come in handy. Five.
Dude2: Okay.
Dude1: Next, Nick.
[NICK is facing the wall and talking to himself]
Nick: I WILL become a superactionhero. I WILL become a superactionhero. I WILL become a superaction hero. I WILL become a...
Dude3: Okay dude, Nick, shut up already.
Nick: Hi! My name is NICK and I will ALways love you!
Dude3: Okay, that's nice, what's your tactic?
Nick: Tactic? You mean tic tac? I'll have one please.
Dude3: No no, tactic... what'll you do to fight the bad guys?
Nick: OOOOOO Now you put it that way... DUN DUN DUN DUN! Come superactionherosidekick Brian! Let's show them!

Nick and Brian start jumping around the room making firing noises and hiding and ducking and spinning and jumping and 'flying' and flipping and fighting and booming at each other.

Dudes: Veeeerrrrrryyyyyy interesting......
Nick: How'd I do? [Smiles big]
Dude1: Hummm...... I dunno.... a three perhaps?
Nick: Only a three....??? [Sniffles]
Dude1: Yeah... you didn't do anything too special.
Nick: But... but.... I wanna be a superactionhero!!! [Starts to pout]
Dude1: Oh no!!! Dude!!! Don't look!!!
Dude2: [It's too late] Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! [Thuds over again]
Dude3: Oh dear, you can be like Poutman or something.
Nick: [Pouts] I wanna be a superactionhero.
Dude1: Okay okay okay... gawsh... you can be the superaction hero.
Nick: REALLY?!
Dude1: Yeah, okay whatever.
Nick: BRIAN! Did you hear that!!! We get to be superactionheroes!!!!! Boy oh boy!!! [Jumps around the room in delight]
Dude1: Okay, we're gonna have a conference now.... C'mon dudes.
Dude2: Wow.......... [Gets up]
Dude3: We're having a conference now.... let's go...

The Dudes go off into a room that says "Dudeployees Only" to have their conference to decide who's gonna be who. After many hours of intense debate, they've made their decision.

Dude1: Okay you guys, gather around, here are the parts we selected: [Clears throat] Ahem. Nick, you'll be Nickolas Gene Carter, also known as Neo, Brian, you'll be Brian, also known as Brinity, AJ, you'll be Ank, or AJ, Kevin, you'll be Korpheus, and Howard you'll be Evil Agent Howard, the bad guy.
Howard: Why do I always get to be the bad guy? I was the bad one in "The Call" and now I'm the bad guy again??? WHhhhhhhhyyyyy???
Dude3: Because we said so.
Howard: Okay.....
Dude2: Plus you've got that bad guy look.
Howard: I do? [Smiles brightly] Wow [Cheesy smile again]
Dude2: No, no that's not the right look!
Howard: It's not? [Frowns]
Dude2: Thereeee we go.
Howard: [Frowning] Hey Brian, do I look scary? [Eyebrow raise]
Brian: No, not yet.
Howard: [Wink]
Brian: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! [Covers his face with his hands]
Dude3: Okay, very good. Now let's get on with the show.
Nick: TURN THE LIGHTTTTTSSSS DOWNNNN LOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!
AJ: [Slaps NICK upside the head again] Shaddup, we're not performing.
Nick: Oh, we're not?
AJ: No.
Nick: Okay, am I the superactionhero then?
Dude3: [Sigh] YES you are.
Nick: Yippee!!
Dude1: Okay Howard, you're the bad guy, Evil Agent Howard.
Howard: Okay, what do I do?
Dude2: You're the leader of a man-eating pack of teenyboppers. You're going to capture Kevin, or Korpheus, and you're going to lower him down on a forklift to the man-eating pack of teenyboppers. Brian and Nick, will try to save Korpheus. And you'll be laughing evilly while all this happens got it?
Howard: Got it.
Dude2: The rest of you got it?
The Rest: Got it.
Dude2: Good, let's begin.

continue to page 3