2003 FUNNY LIST AWARDS!
MR. DREW S.
"It has been so long since I peed in a pool..."
Most Random Female:
MS. MELISSA P.
Lissyhead1: So you wanna see me jumping a horse?
Most Random IM Funny:
TIE!
MS. KIRSTEN E...
Kirsten426: done jerkin your chicken yet?
Kirsten426: whoops wrong window
Kirsten426: i rocked your mom last night
Kirsten426: shit... wrong window
AND MS. LISA T.
LTrain581: dammit, i just wanna see a guy dressed up like a mouse! is that too much to ask for?!?!
Most Random Funny by a Stranger:
MR. BANK OF AMERICA TELLER
"We're opening a checking account, we're not building a space shuttle."
- Bank guy to Heather in heavy Indian accent
Most Visually Creative Funny Male:
MR. DAVID B.
Hunter5643: jan, you would look hot in a hugo with rust on it, no hubcaps, two spare tires, a bad muffler, and a gold chain lisense plate.
Mtchbx20terp: jan...you are as pretty as the morning dew on a honey suckle, sunning itself in the glorious daylight of the deep south, adjacent to the white trash trailer park with plumes of smoke coming from the raging bonfire of Charlie Daniels 8 tracks, while Cleetus and folk'l dance around merrily, heehawing at the sight of the blazing yellow hotness.
Most Visually Creative Funny Female:
MS. AMY R.
"Have you used the new self-check out lanes at Giant? It's funny when you buy fruit or produce. It shouts everything. It's like, "Weigh your BOSK PEARS." Or "Move your BOSK PEARS" it's a good thing it doesn't shout everything like, "Move your TROJAN CONDOMS!"
Best Unintentional Funny:
MS. BROOK B.
"Satyre/satyr - � goat, � man = satire related to goatishness" - As taken from her Satire notes
Cutest Funny:
MS. HEATHER A.
"Did you just step on Teddy?" - Jan, about her bear
"Yeah I like how he feels on my feet."
Honorable Mention Male:
MR. JOSH P.
"I think there's a stain on my pants." - Julie
"Like, spaghetti, or sperm?" - Josh
"Did I tell you my condom story?" - Sara
"Oh, that you found one?" - Jan
"Inside you a week later?" - Josh
Honorable Mention Female:
MS. ELIZABETH T.
"Do you like apples? Do you like applesauce?"
Funniest Combination Funny:
MS. SARA G. AND MS. JAN K.
"She ended up, like, having shrimp, or something." - Jan
"Yeah, except lobsters don't have shrimp." - Sara
"Well, whatever they have!" - Jan
"Lobsters?" - Sara
"Yeah, but there was a word for them!" - Jan
"Baby lobsters?" - Sara
"How does Ethiopia even HAVE cuisine?" - Sara, about an Ethiopian restaurant
"It's like, mashed reeds, and..." - Jan
"AIR?!" - Sara
"Brown water?" - Jan
"And AIR?! U.S. care packages are dropped onto your plate?!" - Sara
"I can't wait to see what our kids look like." - Sara
"YOUS and MINES?" - Jan
"NO! You and Jason's and mine and sperm donor #23763." - Sara
"She better not get it on with my elf!" - Sara
"There's a sentence you don't hear everyday." - Jan
The WHAT?! Award:
MS. RIMA K.
"Sir, I realize you're a quadriplegic, but we're going to have to give your bed to the slut."
- as a Disney World resort worker about me
The Coke-Through-The-Nose Award:
MS. SARA G
"My kids are gonna look like this." - Sara, about the kids on the Candyland board
"Especially if you mate with a blonde fairy boy." - Jason
"I don't want to be JUST like Jan." - Sara
Funniest Male:
MR. DAVID B.
Funniest Female:
MS. SARA G.
Most Appearances:
MS. SARA G. with 135 Appearances!
Special Funny Awards:
MR. JASON H. (who won't let me write down his funnies)
MS. ABBY B.
MR. JEFF W.
MR. JEFF H.
MS. JENNIFER C.
MS. JESSICA K.
MS. ANNE D.
MS. LAUREN K.
MR. AND MRS. K.
MR. NIK S.
MS. CANDICE B.
MS. VIRGINIA C.
MS. LIZ K.
MR. JIM S.
MS. AMBER
Thanks to everyone who participated, whether it was voluntary or involuntary. You are all winners in my mind, because at some point you have all made me "Tea kettle" and that's an award in itself.
Congratulations to the winners, and remember that Jan always has her ears out for the next Funny...
