On the horrid Battlefield Earth, the three lay Travolta's hammy performance to waste, their mocking laughter (mocking Travolta's over the top cackling) was music to my ears. The movies such a painful unwatchable mess, that Bill's Moses inspired line -"Let the audience go!" was not only hilarious, but echoed my own sentiments to a tee. I could hardly sit through this garbage. Were it not for the Bill, Kev and Mike, I might have gone mad from the sheer stupidity of the film.
     The flick inspires much anger and disdain, and nobody does anger and disdain better than Corbett. Bill takes the old chestnut "Oh, that's gotta hurt" to new, derisive, side splitting heights. His tirade on a vision of hell is a riot. But least I slight Mike, He matches Bill on a tirade of his own concerning cave dwellers and their skills as jet pilots.
     Though I feel it was the weakest of the 3 -for me, the laughs ebb and flow- There is much to enjoy: Disembaudio's laugh track was pure genius, illustrating what a true joke this movie is. An Electric Company and Goldfinger reference, a growing hatred for the color blue and a great riff about bulk maling when a long tongued girl appears on screen, all add to the fun. But my favorite moment by far, was Mike's complaint... "How can a grown man wear a jump suit. Even for an acting job it's undignified!" - Classic, simply classic!

     The last, but not least was Star Trek VI. It's a good film met with some planetary guffaws. As with Trek V, the George Takei imitations are exploited fully and are as fresh and funny as ever. Every one brought about gales of laughter. But there's more! From a quip about Spock googling a woman's skull during a mind meld, to Mikes joke about Kirk making out with green skinned girls. Sex was also a big topic here; I love the way Bill has Spock say -uncharacteristically- to a female Vulcan he's offered a drink to.... "Fire this back and lose the top". They they do slam the movie too hard ("Day After Tomorrow" didn't get slaps like this) but these three folks are magic and having them back together was incredible. Discuss these RiffTrax here

Rifftrax: Troll 2
�Wow, country hospitality tastes like crap!� - Rich
     Troll 2 (which was released between Battlefield Earth and Trek VI) is pure MST3K style badness - and I must say, that I really enjoyed watching this return to this kind of rich cheesy goodness. The poor production values, wooden acting, amature hour script and SFX... it truly warmed my cockles.
     And speaking of Rich, Mike is joined this time out by "Something Awful's" Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka. (Who wrote about this movie as well: Troll 2 Review). While Rich's delivery isn't up to gold standards, once I got used to him, I found him a decent riffmate for Mr. Nelson. He vocalized many of the best jokes: From those concerning "Dragons and Storks", Clay Aiken and a "Nut eating" father. He even endears himself to us MSTies by referencing "Teenage Crime Wave".
     Of course, Mike is sharp as always. His Twilight Zone fueled bon mot -"Have you ever served man, honey?"- was inspired, as was his observation about a kid wearing a serious "Deniro face". Of course, the low brow humor was just as funny. As when Mike has the dad all excited about, "An RV full of naked boys!" (He also makes a reference to "Something Awful" - but feels bad about it afterwords. lol)
     Troll is a grade Z treasure. It's a troll movie without Trolls. Filled to the brim with lots of backward jokes (literally), lots of pissing on hospitality and lots of laughs.
Discuss this Rifftrax here

Rifftrax Complete: Swing Parade
�Wow, she�s lucky. An old guy gave her fifty bucks and she gets to keep all her clothes on�
     Imagine if during Season 3 of MST3K, the gang suddenly decided to throttle back and launch into KTMA style hijinx? That�s what kind of happens here as Swing Parade has much in common with the earlier, sparse commentary tracks Mike did for Legend film. And while I enjoyed those a lot, he�s since come a long way baby during the RiffTrax incarnation.
     The delivery is often laid back. Even to the degree that Mike sometimes sounds a sleep at the wheel � as he tackles this 1940s 3 Stooges musical (Though featured prominently on the box art, they are co-stars at best)
     Never the less, as with the KTMA eps of lore, and the legend colorization commentaries, there are genuine laughs to be enjoyed. The early running gag about a blind mule is as funny as anything in Mike�s growing catalog of humor. The mental image of Nelson and wife Bridget, worrying over their own mule, was a kick!
     In addition to that, Mike has fun with the Stooges (Spooning with Larry � A sexually charged Curly has seizures), a guy named Moose and a gal who never moves!
     Mocking the musical numbers put me in mind of similar scenes in �I Accuse My Parents� � Only the set design in this club must have costs somewhere in the millions (At least in the world of Rifftrax). Mike leaves no stone unturned or unriffed in these sequences: The lyrics (Caldonia), the giant immobilizing costumes (�Under her skirt she�s doing a killer dance routine�) as well as the oily, none too attractive, effeminate leading male singers.
     Though not a glowing success, there is enough good humor to keep �Swing Parade� from becoming a total train wreak
Discuss this Rifftrax here

Rifftrax: Over the Top
�Great! Thanks to this movie I now know what Stallone looks like constipated!"�
      Aside from a group of spectacular episodes and a small handful of weak ones, Rifftrax has mostly settled into a nice comfortable groove. Over the Top, a Sly Stallone melodrama, which Mike riffs solo, fits into that groove. Not one of my top 10, but with laughs a plenty. I enjoyed the jabs at the beard and suspenders early on, and the smack down put on the films big finish is stellar stuff.
     The movies premise is predictable (The estranged father/son dynamic) and damn silly (its feeble attempt to convince us that arm wrestling is somehow compelling). There are Kenny Loggins laced montages and insipid pep talks (You gotta take what you want � and Mike illustrates the absurdity of such a blanket statement nicely). The whole wrestling/trucking theme is flayed to perfection (�You just lowered my income potential�) with Stallone impressions, references to Brute cologne and parallels to �Road House� all helping in the plus department.
     The minuses are few. Mike repeates a nose hair line within the span of a few seconds and while the first Lindsey Lohan line was a riot, the second felt like desperation. Never-the-less, when you tally up the pros and cons, Over the Top is for the most part, a success. Especially with that cute callback to �Megaweapon�; heck, even Disembaudio gets in a few solid shots. But, I still wish they would have done something funny with the �double elimination� theme. (Sarcasm intended)
Discuss this Rifftrax here

Rifftrax: Aeon Flux
"Are you inept, inattentive, weak? Then join the Sci-Fi movie army!" - Kevin
     Aeon Flux, is one of those dystopian future tales that are all the rage of late. This one concerns a Monican, (Rebels who, according to our riffers, worship Monica) out to kill an evil leader (I know, sounds unique). It's all very Matrix like, a fact that Mike and Kev point out to us, and has just the right amount of "stupid" to inspire many a satirical barb (A few examples: Hitler hair, girl in a bar of soap and women with hands where her feet should be!). The movie also provides dry cryptic dialog -"Wow, his stand-up routine is terrible" - Mike. As well bizarre and impractical costumes to take shots at.
     As with the previous Trax, the riffing on Aeon fits within that "Groove" - It's not their best, nor is it their worst effort. Some of Mike's greatest hits include the clever C.S.I and "Fargo" reference material, his "Vote James Spader for Emperor!" line as well as a real sharp "Brutus" quip (Directed at a betrayer - See Shakespeare's "Julius Caesar" for more details). Kevin's best stuff includes noting that Aeon's real name is "Catherine Mary Flux" and making light of assassination by informing us that John Wilkes Booth was nearly undone by a desire to make out with Lincoln!
     Not everything works, the big laughs don't come frequently enough. And while I like a good fart or poop joke as much as anyone, this RiffTrax offers up too many bad fart and poop jokes. Also the Goodyear Blimp/Baseball announcer stuff didn't really do it for me. Good, not great.
Discuss this Rifftrax here

Rifftrax: Wicker Man
"With the power of the magical cape, I become... Wicker Man!" - Mike
     I loved the riff that referenced the film, "House of Sand and Fog". Why? Because that movie was simply one of the most bleak and hopelessly depressing I'd ever seen. And the riff sums up Wicker Man for me as well. While Mike and Kevin do get in some decent quips, ultimately, this flick defeated me.
     But let us not focus on the suffering we'll endure while watching this Nic Cage remake, let us instead enjoy the soothing balm of humor applied by our intrepid riffers. Such as...
* The Wicker Man theme song and noticing that the titles looked similar to something seen in a Quinn Martin Production
* After a truck demolishes a car pulled over by Cage's cop character (apparently killing the passengers, a mother and daughter), Mike says... "And that's what happens to bratty little girls. Good night everyone"
* The self reading letter scene!
* The 'insult comic' style jabs directed at Sister Beach and several other women on the Island.
* Kevin sings Dylan!
* Any scene with the spacey, distracted ex-fiance. Especially the one set at the grave site.
* Phallic symbols - LMAO!!
* Mike singing "This is a man's world", when it obviously isn't
* "My God! The script is caving in!!" - The acting and dialog is so bad that Kevin wonders if this wasn't suppose to be a comedy, (Cage screams suddenly and incoherently throughout; and early on he asks the islanders if thay are bagging sharks??)
     Jokes that didn't work for me: The running gag about Cage's suit, er, sport coat and slacks. And I was hoping for and didn't receive a Ro-Man reference at the end of the film, which saw Cage gadding about in a furry animal suit.
     Oh, and poor, poor, Johnny Ramone. Did the film-makers think that was a tribute? Ga!   Discuss this RiffTrax here

Rifftrax: Terminator III
"How can you fear someone so cute and pouty" - Kevin
     I like the Terminator series, all of 'em. After enduring the horrors of the last 3 movies, it was nice to be able to sit back and relax with one that was at least watchable. And it also helped that this is the strongest humor-wise as well. Once we get past yet another, "X-Rated" title, joke, the riffing clicks like a well oiled machine.
     Mike cracked me up early when he injected the Gilligan's Island theme into the dialog, and he does this drop dead hilarious C3PO imitation that had me roaring. With the references to Bootsy Collins and Buckaroo Banzai, and Kevin's quip after the Terminatrix tells a cop that she, "Likes his gun"  -"The Saints have answered my prayer!"-  the guys easily lead me in to a dreamy state of comedy bliss.
     There was a nice mix here: It didn't matter if they were being mean (Kevin attacks Clair Danes nose) or taking the easy rout with a non-stop collection of delightful AAAHNOLD impressions, this was good stuff all the way around.
     A few other joys to behold: Mike's 911 call; Kev's general crush on the T3 and the quip about killing his wife's fiance. Mike having Arnold singing a bit of Jewel and Kelly Clarkson.. and of course, the jokes directed at the annoying heavy breathing at the end (I remember when I saw this at the theaters, I was thinking the same thing, "Stop with the over abundance of breathing, kid!")
Discuss this RiffTrax here

Rifftrax: Lost and Star Wars: Attack of the Clones
"You know, despite all the problems, the airline will still claim this as an on-time flight� � Kevin (Lost)
     Of the two, Star Wars: Attack of the Clones, made a mammoth buzz on the message boards when it came out and it was that Trax that I was most looking forward to. And while it was good, very good. It was the riffing on the pilot episode of "Lost" that really turned my crank!
      Mike and Kevin are at their best when things are at their worst. Lost opens with a sad disaster - we see and hear people crying, screaming, bleeding; dead bodies strewn about... and all the while I'm laughing my ass off!
      The obvious jokes are mined. Gilligan's Island, as well as the roles we'd seen the actors in previously. But beyond this, the whole darn episode is simply good old fashioned, silly, fun. The guy with the handful of pens, an enormously pregnant woman and a gal who can't get the lyrics to a "Three Dog Night" tune figured out are just a few of the simple but sweet comedic moments. And it only gets better in the second part of the episode.
      In this half I was cheered by: The leering sequence, the "No, I found it" scene. Mike getting jazzed up over the DRAMATIC music and of course, the discovery that -Silent brooding wards off Pepsi drinking Polar bears".
      There are so many riffs that made me howl ("Your just yelling at me because I'm black" - "A middle Eastern guy named, Buddy?" and Kevs observation about "Renegade alpha males")
      Star Wars on the other hand, didn't put me on as many highs. I enjoyed myself, but I never felt this reached MST3K levels as I'd been told. It's funny, but all told, I liked "Lost" better.
      Attack of the Clones offers more of the same kind of riff-work heard in episode 1: Mike and Kevin continue their assault on Lucas' childish, ham fisted techniques -"Ahh, the dialog crackles like... pudding" - Mike. The silly names (Schmee, Schmoo, Schmuppy) and stupid looking aliens (There are ones who look like a cow, a phallus and Satan) are all riffed well. As are the quips directed at the guy playing Anikin (Was it Lucas' desire to hire really crappy actors to play this part?)
      What was different this go round, was the addition of someone named "Chad Vader" - The whole Chad thing was clever: Though his contributions didn't tickle me early on; his comments improved as the film unfolded.
      The bits with Anikin made me laugh the most. The trio were especially good during the sequences where he returns home to save his mother. And I liked how they attack his broad, melodramatic and often childish manner -Anikin: "But I am grown up" - Mike: "Can I have a juice box?"- Also, I enjoyed most of the quips directed at Yoda during the final battles.
      In short: Though I'm getting a little (just a little) tired of the duo's heavy reliance on fart and poop jokes (and what's with all the Arby's quips of late?), overall this was one heck of an enjoyable double feature. While "Lost" takes the lead in laughter for me, Attack of Clones is a gas as well. Discuss these episodes here. And for more with Chad, Mike and Kevin, check this out... Youtube

Rifftrax: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
�This is what happens when crazy people don�t have cats to will things too� � Neil
     This Rifftrax, with film selected by Neil Patrick Harris, starts off funny as hell, before slowing down a bit in the second half. The first part though, is pure gold--en ticket material. I was won over from the first song as Mike and Neil take each word literally; from there Neil �who is outstanding by the way- zaps Ian Zeiring and notes the poison Laffy Taffy fumes spilling from Wonka�s factory!
     I was in high spirits at the go, hungering for more. From the jokes mocking the plight of the poor (Cabbage water; shirt boiling) to crooked corporations (�They�re scabs Charlie!� � Neil as Gramps). Neil and Mike were relentless; every detail in this section of film, every lyric, hardship and eccentricity is deliciously riffed. I couldn�t stop laughing, ���This film is all Wonka and no Willy� � Neil
     Strangely, once we enter Wonka�s factory, things kind of slow down. Oh there�s still great stuff. Mike wonders if it�s possible to overdose on to much whimsy, while. Neil harps on Chocolate Pogo Sticks one last time as Willy makes his grand entrance. And the Oompa Loompa�s make it all worthwhile. There�s a smart quip about Northern Ireland inspired by the musical factory workers, as well as killer lines that reference Tarantino, Jaundice and the odd clothing they wear.
     Some fans have wondered why they picked on this version, rather than the Tim Burton remake. And while Johnny Depp�s pale, �man-child� take, would have been a nice target. Wilders menacing madman is not above reproach either. (Mike notes his creepiness too, when Wonka aggressively fondles a young lads hair). The guys do a great job on this, it�s a heck of a lot of fun, very high spirited, dark humor - and having a bigger name actor join in the riffing added something new to the project as riffs directed at Neil�s career were funny and fresh. They need to bring in more folks outside the MST realm I think, it brings something new to the table.
     Better at the start than at the end. Still this is a tasty Trax, I highly recommended it and I hope Neil returns for more. Discuss this RiffTrax here

Rifftrax: Casino Royale
�It�s spelled M, but pronounced MMMMMM� � Mike
     I wasn�t certain how I�d react to this rifftrax because I love this movie. I mean, I really, really adore this film with all of my heart. I love the action, the drama, love the, uh, love story and seeing 007 in his first adventure. It�s my favorite film they�ve ever riffed on. Would I be able to pay attention to the jokes when I�m so riveted by the movie?
      Quickly, my laughter proved that it doesn�t matter if it�s a bad flick, cheesy flick or even a great flick. Funny is funny, it�s as simple as that. And Mike and Kevin are two very funny men.
     The best bits don�t come when they diss the movie � I love the pacing of the film, so Mike and Kevin complaining about this aspect didn�t jibe with me- Rather, I got my kicks when they would rewrite the screenplay in their own image. As when Mike imagines Scarlett Johansson zooming in dressed as the Flying Nun to save the day. Or when Nelson has the baddie checking his laptop, upset at Britney�s recent hijinx.
     The scene when Bond attempts to prevent a terrorist from blowing up a plane is a highlight; I especially enjoyed the radio communications in this sequence (and in this instance, their jabs at the lack of logic ring true). At the Casino scenes, I laughed so hard at the simple, �High chair for the guy with the bad mustache�, riff and Kevin�s, �Sorry, can�t hear you, I�m muting the nagging with booze�, line. Plus Mike got me giggling with the observation about Ericsson Phones. Simply stated, there are times when I laughed as hard as I ever had during a Rifftrax
     Saying that, the movie is long and moves at a smooth, even pace that tests the duos comedic skills. Some of their attempts to pad it out, with gags about how expensive everything is in a Bond film, are not bad in and of themselves but neither are they very funny. (the one running gag I did enjoy was Mike having Bond wrongly say, �Hit Me�, during the card game)
     Other goodies: The references got me chuckling. Mike notices Donny Iris, Donny Iris? How many people even remember Donny? Fiona Apple videos earn a clever nod, and the delightful callbacks to past Bond films, Goldfinger, Live and Let Die and how Roger Moore was a major puss compared the Daniel Craig. Oh, and wasn�t it great when Kevin pulled out an old MST standby with Trip Shakespeare?
     In summary: Though the jokes don�t often click when attacking the film -An early example: knocking the opening chase scene as implausible. Uh, gentlemen, the guy being chased is S�bastien Foucan, who invented a sport called, �Free Running�, on which the chase is based. He can actually do many of the stunts filmed- for the most part I liked this Rifftrax a lot� and yet I like the movie even more. So when I�m in the mood for Casino Royale, which one do I watch? Oh the dilemma! Discuss this RiffTrax here

Rifftrax: Eragon
�Wow, your� somewhat convincing� � Mike; when we see the full sized dragon for the first time
     Eragon is a fantasy about a boy and his Dragon; and it very similar to several movies in (as well as out of) this genre. A truth that Mike and Kevin use for many a funny riff. This element is the crux of the films failing, but as with fantasy / Sci-Fi films that were riffed before, the duo also take great delight in mocking the funny names. Early on the guys earned a few nice guffaws by getting these names mixed up, Is the hero really named E-Ragon? And why are the Ventures in the film?
     A giant blue pill, hammy acting (My God, how far John Malcovich has fallen) and confusing relationship dynamics -�Wait, you�re my brother and your dad�s my uncle?� � Kevin- All this is a hoot, but my favorite bits came during the scenes where Mike and Kev introduce us to a drunken angry dragon. It�s carnivorous appetite, concerns about a litter box and later, its convenient telepathic abilities. Actually, most of the scenes with the dragon are riffed nicely. A few more of my favorite things include:
* Continuity errors� �It�s dry over here in the next scene!� - Mike
* �Horse of July�, parties. And burning palms!
* Strange couplings� �If Albert Finny and Mickey Dolenze had a son� � Mike
* The colorful magic spells: �He said goodbye Stan and off he went� - Kevin
* Suggestive jokes: �Yeah but after hearing your thoughts when you were riding that horse, I don�t know if I want to� � Mike, after Eragon asks his dragon to return.

Rifftrax has been on a terrific roll since Terminator 3 and Eragon is another solid release. Discuss this rifftrax here

Rifftrax: Glitter
�Charlie; get me the prostitute and wino division!� � Mary Jo
     Here�s the great insidious joke behind Rifftrax. I have watched �Crossroads� more times than the �Godfather�. I have viewed �Battlefield Earth� twice (and blew chunks both times) and God help me, I�ve now suffered through the Mariah Carry vehicle, �Glitter�.
     I�m not proud of this fact; there are fewer things that can shame a man than admit he�s not only watched Britney and Mariah in their big Hollywood starring debuts, but also enjoyed it. The flip side of the coin of course is that Mike Nelson and, in the case of Glitter, former castmate Mary Jo Pehl have been there to smooth over the rocky slopes and thorny backwoods included in each film.
     I�ll admit to not having much confidence concerning Mary Jo�s participation, after all I was less than impressed with her flat delivery in the MST3K episode, �Quest of the Delta Knights�. Perhaps it was the character of Pearl that ruined Delta, because sans the evil Mother Forrester, Mary Jo's vocal inflections shine, her witty bon motes sparkle, her comedic timing shimmers (gee, can I mine any other corny �Glitter� adjectives?) � Uh, lets just say, I liked what she brought to the table this time out. It was funny due in large part because Mike and Mary Jo get such a kick out of how bad it all is.
     The sound of Mary Jo�s laughter is infectious and it gets Mike going too. When a guy named Dice locks onto Mariah�s character at a club, the scene shifts into some cheesy camera work, which makes Mike and MJP giggle in delight. That�s probably the most insightful statement one could make on the moment and it got me laughing like a goon as well. This is simply a ridiculous movie from top to bottom. The dialog is insipid (Soup girls up?) and as our riffers note, it comes from the �Yadda, yadda, yadda; school of film making� (it tells us what happens but doesn�t show us).
     DJs of the year? Glitter�s got �em. Sex addict, Eric Benet? Yup, he�s here as well. Brilliant songwriting and recording skills? On display in full. And all of it is silly, and all of it is riffed to pieces. The �trax overflows with great observational quips -�It�s one of those panty roses from 7-11� � MJP- Mary Jo�s line about how lucky Stedman Graham is, and her bit about Brando when Dice starts Stanley Kowaskiing all over the place, are priceless. Mike had me in stitches when the movie evokes Gods wrath, I love it when he has the Lord sending a, �plague of razor blades to rain down from the Heavens�. And after watching this mess, I wouldn�t blame God in the least.
     This RiffTrax is simply one of the very best and it tops off a great string of classics in the series. There�s nothing left to say except� �BOOTY! BOOTY! BOOTY!�
Discuss this rifftrax here

Rifftrax: Predator
�This moment brought to you by Creatine�
     Mike riffs well alone, though a film as loaded with so many monotonous scenes of people wandering through a jungle, would test even the greatest minds of our generation. Nelson combats this aspect by falling back on old standbys to fill in the gaps.

• For example: Showing annoyance with how slow the movie is to live up to its title (It isn�t really
• Using an actors other films as punch lines -�Well, on the bright side, you wont have to sit through Batman and Robin�, spoken after a man is shot-
• Listing the various �combustibles on hand�, during onscreen explosions

Rifftrax: Grey's Anatomy
�They make being at deaths door, fun� � Bridget
     Bridget joins Mike on this Trax and that husband/wife dynamic adds a new kind of fuel to the fun. Bridget brings an upbeat, happy vibe to the table. Her timing and delivery is quick and snappy, much in the same vein as those classic screwball comedians from the 40s. This style meshed well with Mike�s, which shouldn�t be surprising, and the comfort level between the two makes for a smooth, easy listen (Bridget�s reaction to Mike�s �liver and onions� quip is just what you�d expect from a spouse, and there are a couple moments like that throughout)
     Grey�s Anatomy is one of those soapy TV medical dramas. All the familiar elements are in play; the most bothersome is the -nervous newbies harassed by short-tempered old pros- angle. I really hate that crap, snarky jagoffs really annoy me, which is why I avoid medical dramas (or medical comedies, like Scrubs, for that matter) like the plague.
     Mike and Bridget don�t deal too harshly with the show. They tease it, slap it around a little; have fun with the dialog and the stock characters. The two are especially funny (and naughty) when teasing a gal who �sleeps and runs� -�Yup she�s heading for the shipyard for another guy� � Mike- and Bridget�s Viagra joke put me in stitches. The couple is having a goofy good time and that put me in a great mood as well.
     The show considerately keeps us informed on the time (inspiring Jack Bauer quips). Theirs a bedpan full O� horrible bedside manner to rip on, and the gaudy looking surgical caps are just asking for trouble. Sandra Oh was a major irritant, so I�m glad she takes some shots. And the scene with the Chinese women by the dumpster, is some of the funniest material in the series. And of course, there�s an �Operation� reference as well� �Hey Milton Bradley�s right, there is an ice cream cone in her head� � Bridget. Ahh, that�s sweet stuff.
Discuss this rifftrax here

Rifftrax: Fantastic Four
�Why, it�s as if an invisible hottie has deployed a force field� � Mike
     Fantastic Four is a hopelessly hacked up comic book movie (many scenes that would have smoothed out the narrative and developed character, were left on the cutting room floor) and it would seem tailor made for a great riffing. It isn�t, as this is merely good and rarely achieves outright hilarity.
     For the most part the riffing is uninspired; a lot of it consists of flat callbacks to the dialog that overstate the obvious. The guys obsess on The Thing and Mr. Fantastic�s genetalia, and fall back on name calling in regards to Johnny Storm: As a douchbag, tool or other insults in that vein. (The reliance on these simple slams, reminds me of a segment in MST3K�s �Castle of Fu Manchu�, in which Dr. F and Frank attempt to riff on the film as well. Their lame comments are of the, �Look at those shoes, what stupid� uh shoes�, variety) While insults can be funny when done right, most of the ones heard in F4 are just basic grade school putdowns, and relying so heavily on them reeks of either desperation or laziness (due to overwork?).
     When they put a little thought behind their words, they prove that they still have the magic touch. One nice example with the Torch is when Mike dumps the insults for a moment and stretches that clever noggin with a quip germane to Johnny�s powers� �Now I can protest the Viet Nam war again and again!� . Another funny bit zips into the comic book world when Ben�s wife drops her wedding band� �It�s over, I�m already dating the Green Lantern�. And I like the observational line about Doom�s humanitarian award looking like an iron Satan mask. So yes, like most trax there is some good stuff (Was that a Prince of Space callback with the �Bullets are useless against me� bit?) but it�s the exception, not the rule and for me, dropping the ball on this golden opportunity is a disappointment. Fair to bellow average Trax.
Discuss this Trax here

Rifftrax: Star Trek Generations
�You know the prime directive of Star Trek should have been, never do comedy!� � Kevin
     Generations is a horrid, tedious film marked by some of the worst comedic writing and acting (Brent Spiner as Data) I�ve ever had the sad displeasure of witnessing. Thankfully Mike and Kevin are around to slap the film silly and make it somewhat palpable.
     While the riffing on the Trek franchise has been stellar, this time out there was a few bumps in the road. Perhaps this is because the Next Generation simply isn�t as broad and colorful as the original crew. The riffing bears this out because the jokes level out in the middle spots, while the work sparkles in bookend segments featuring Kirk and company.
     The opening scenes are the best, providing an abundance of big laughs. The iconic characters are deftly riffed. Everyone is targeted smartly, each to his own unique personality type. Scotties girth (Macy�s Day Parade, he, he) Chekov�s� well just Chekov (Crepe paper hair, ha!), even those great Sulu impressions are heard, despite George Takai�s absence. And of course, skewering Shatner is always a riot. All of this and more make for the funniest moments on this Trax.
     When the film shifts to the new crew, the riffing slows down its relentless photon assaults and eases into a comfortable pace. Funny stuff is to be had � Primarily Kevin�s clever and spot on observation concerning Warfs �hat jump�. This is a brilliant piece of comedic diatribe that would do Bill Corbett proud. The Malcolm McDowell stuff �He�s an old Kiefer Sutherland- is a kick as well (as are the comparisons between he and Patrick Stewart as to which stellar English actor has taken the most hackneyed roles). And then of course, there�s Renee.
     The reference material is great from start (Ferris Beuller) to finish (Bill Cosby, Al Gore�s environmentalism) and the big (lame) finish is dull, anti climactic and is kept afloat only through Nelson and Murphy�s (and the ineffective Nexus') efforts. Without them, this ending would have made an effective sleeping pill).
     Though it�s not the finest or most consistent Rifftrax available, and I do have questions on whether the Next Gen crew in general can inspire the big laughs the originals did (I need my Sulu voices!), I wouldn�t mind seeing another Trek in the future. With 2 great Trax and this good one, it�s well worth taking another shot.
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Rifftrax: 300
�March of the Penguins had less marching!� - Mike
     Mike tackles this blue screen epic with Bill and Kevin at his side, and the first half of their efforts had me in stitches, I never stopped laughing. The bits about how the Spartans treat the weaker, puny children, was funny from the get go and became a funny running gag throughout. The pinpoint digs about the leaders Scottish accent and how he was always yelling at the top of his lungs about �SPARTA!� exposed things about the film that bugged me as well. 300 is much beloved, but I found the film pretty empty and dug the jabs at its tedious, endless stop/start battles with its copious amounts of blood splatter. I need more from a flick than bearded muscley guys yelling about Sparta while he and his band hack away non-stop in a blood-fueled frenzy. Thankfully, Rifftrax gives me more.
     Though the laugh riot slows as it goes, (the endless sword fights prove as much a riff challenge as Starfighters eternal scenes of refueling) there were still many, many moments for the crew to shine. The Arcadians (who play with dolls? Ha, Ha) are relentlessly battered, and a scene where Kevin mistakenly hears a cow had me in tears from laughing so hard. The word �dip-shit� has never been funnier, nor has �fat person scooters�, bottomless pits without railings or hearing Kevin bout with the giggles when Mike riffs,  �I want a better costume�,  for a poorly dressed hunchback and then later notices the �Lord of the Donuts�.
     Also, a running theme in these �trax has a riffer relating a mundane event in their real lives, to something explosive or dramatic on screen. Sometimes these jokes work, sometimes they don�t. Bill mentioning how he too experienced being �Blood Drunk� is one of the times when the bit works brilliantly. Oh and I�d be remise if I didn�t point out the nods to our MSTed past, as both Gorgo and Torgo are referenced. Excellent trax, one I�d highly recommend.
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Rifftrax: The Bourne Identity
�You�re my only friend, buttock implant� � Mike as Jason Bourne
     Bourne, on the other hand was a noticeable downshift from �300�. I went from belly laughs to hearty chuckles in an instant. Still, hearty chuckles are fun too. Most of the chuckles are provided by two sources: Matt Damon is the first source. The guys noting his square head and having him cry over being confused for Mark Wahlburg was good and the amnesia quips solid (after Damon anguishes over not knowing who he is, Bill suggests, �Bitchy Von Cry Pants�). Corbett also got a big laugh when he notices that Bourne, �runs like Napoleon Dynamite�. There was also a reference to Patriots QB Tom Brady that earned kudos and the lines about Bourne arresting himself were cute as well.
     The other high spot came in the form of darts aimed at the French. One chase sequence with French police offered one solid joke after another and proved to be this �Trax crowning achievement. With the quip, �I Surrender�, becoming the catchphrase of the moment for me.
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Rifftrax: Independence Day
�Wow, after seeing that I no longer fear hell� � Bill
     Remember when ID4 was released to theaters and we all liked it? Then it came out on DVD and there was a sudden shift in opinion. On the small screen this epic wasn�t very epic what so ever. It amounts to a bunch of simple discs spitting out a death ray that, compared to the ominous and frightening Tri-Pods seen in Spielberg�s �War of the Worlds�, come off pretty piss poor and not so scary at all. So, it�s pretty fun when the guys tease the invasion with irreverence and disdain,  �Uh oh, early digital effects, lots of �em men!� � Bill,  (Kevin even references the �War of the World� solution for stopping the alien attack)
     The broad and at times, stereotypical characters stand at the heart of some of the best riffs (Brent Spiner, fresh off his annoying turn in �Generations�, once again chews the scenery, Judd Hirsch should be ashamed and the smarmy Will Smith? well even his ears inspire a great �Pee Wee Herman� quip) And though not as killer as the 300, ID4 is a step up from Bourne. If only for hearing Kevin sing the �Satellite of Love� song , as well as those Robert Loggia impressions (made funnier when Bill sometimes comes off sounding like Krusty the Clown).
     Strippers, a new twist on the �assume� (ass out of you and me) bit, the several �nuke� related jokes and Mike going off on a Harrison Ford tangent, all make for a very, very solid, though not overly stunning Rifftrax. Not a top-10 caliber episode? Hmm, then let me call it top 20 material..
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Rifftrax: Heroes
�Chicks dig it when you tell them about your Superman dream�
      Mike flies solo this time out and battles one of my favorite riiftrax subjects, the television pilot. And his work on Heroes is a marvel, arguably the best of the TV bunch. I�ve always tried to keep the mindset that �trax isn�t MST3K, but MST3K is the reason I buy �trax. I like the style of humor and the talent who created both. And this trax is the most "classic MST-like" that I�ve heard in a while.
     I felt that MST began to rely too heavily on bathroom/sex jokes by season 10 and I�ve found that �trax has continued in that vein. For example, �Lost� used this approach a little too much.. And while Heroes does employ some of the scatological, there's not a preponderance of comedic material of this type.
     In fact Heroes recalls what I loved best about the salad days of MST � The use of obscure or pop culture reference, the sharp observational humor, the witty alteration of the reality set in the movie. It�s what made MST3K special and set it a part from most televised comedies (and what made it too witty and clever for a some people). With this trax Mike shows off his Biblical knowledge by having fun with a character named Micah. When a father has a heart to heart with his young, cheerleader daughter, he warns her to �Stay away from Kevin Spacey�. When a man named Mohinder offers a glass of water to the very thin Eve, Mike has her reply� �No thanks I�m on a diet�. And he also has fun referencing within the genre. As when a policeman named Parkman enters the room of a murder, and locates a frightened child hiding in a crawl space. When Parkman is asked by other officers how he knew where the girl was hiding, Mike offers; �His orphan sense was tingling�.
     Heroes is loaded with colorful characters and Mike provides much amusement poking fun at each of them. From Clair�s invulnerability (Her plans to jump into a stump grinder and shoot herself into the sun) To the flying Peter Petrelli�s other acting credits (Rocky Balboa) as well as a funny sequence where Nelson notices his Hitler hair. And when Mike does hit bellow the belt, it�s one small part of the humor and not a prevalent one, and that makes it more effective. Hiro is the main recipient of these jokes, probably because when he uses his power it makes him look constipated (I also laughed at the Vulcan death grip/Sailor Moon quip and his �Pie to 2 equals O� clock� riff). And of course, Niki inspires many stripper jokes (as when Mike suggests that she sold her son for a leather bustier)
     I also loved how Mike incorporated Goodnight Moon, Calvert Deforest, a song by the forgotten �Kriss Kross�, Club Penguin, Phish and Andy Milonakis among others. This is riffing the way I love it, the styles of humor are varied and balanced. A nice mix of the smart and silly (�Woman, get me my warnin� hat!�). With Heroes, Mike�s super powers are displayed in full. Discuss this rifftrax here

Rifftrax: Star Wars Episode III
�You're right R2, it did look like a peep in a microwave� - Bill as Obi after Anikin burns
     One would think that the guys would be running out of material on this, their third attack on the Star Wars franchise. And yet, no matter how often I hear them make fun of the stupid names and silly costumes it never gets old. As a matter of fact, it can be argued that the riffing�s grown stronger with this episode.
     Of particular enjoyment were the Yoda jokes and imitations. I really found myself cracking up during a meeting between the short green one and the future Mr. Vader. Also very funny were the jabs at the wrinkled, pompous old bad guy, and the running gag where they bleep out Samuel L. Jackson swearing out his dialog. Oh, and Bill makes this quip about a couple guys sitting in theater seats... beauty eh!
     I�m really, really sick to death of these movies. But I really, really have enjoyed the hammering they�ve received at the hands of Mike, Bill and Kevin. Richly deserved knocks at the script, direction and acting are all nicely delivered. This is most certainly one of the gang�s very best offerings.
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Rifftrax: Raiders of the Lost Ark
�And, on to Ebay it goes� � Kevin after the Ark is in hand
     This one was kind of a bummer as there�s simply too much flimsy comedic material throughout. In the first hour I had one or two actual laugh out loud moments (At about 25 minutes in, during the drinking game with the man/woman). What was on the screen didn�t equate to many explosive riotous riffs. The predictable twists on Indy�s name gave me smiles, not guffaws. The cultural jokes were flat and uninspired. Jones just didn�t click.
     Immersed in darkness and fearing that this might be the worst riffing ever done. Worse than KTMA�s Gamera, worse than Aztec Mummy, worse than Top Gun� I was given a few shards of light. As the film was closing in on its first hour, Indy and his band locate the Ark and Mike, Kev and Bill found their muse. Slams about how Jones was barking orders but not doing any work were a hoot, as was the moment when Indy looks momentarily insane. My laughter was short lived, but at least there was something to enjoy here and there down the stretch.
     Attacks on the French remain a highlight and Bill got in some good lines: Including his admission about his favorite make out music. The riff -�Who�d want to leave behind a delicate flower like her�- on Karen Allen�s rough, screechy personality. And the toppermost, the one reason to listen to this trax, his rendition of the Raiders theme. What a great companion piece to Bill Murray�s lounge lizard on SNL singing the �Star Wars� song.
     There was also a cute, quick callback to the ending of Fantastic Four that I liked as well. But in the great scheme of things this was a pretty tepid comedy. Among the bottom 5 Rifftrax so far.
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Rifftrax: Spiderman
�Give it up for the guy in the cherry red Diabolik get up!� � Bill
     One of the greatest superhero movies of all time serves as the backdrop for one of the greatest Rifftrax. The non-stop funny, spot on observational quipping is clever beyond compare. The puppet-like Willem Dafoe (�When you need a movie monster but can�t afford makeup�- Bill) inspires a wellspring of laughs. From noting that he sounds like he�s doing a bad Tom Waits imitation to smart commentary on his Goblin outfit (�Satan attacked her on a jet ski!� � Bill). Had Dafoe been the brightest riff-star I�d have proclaimed this a success. But that the rest of the cast are equally assailed brilliantly propels this effort to instant classic status.
     Big laughs are had from the uproarious opening exchange between an angry Mike against his cohorts, derived from the Spiderman theme (Listen bud! He�s got radioactive blood!) Straight to the running gag about Peter Parker stalking Mary Jane.
     The word play is well written; I�ve always enjoyed a joke that is nicely phrased. As with Bill�s line upon seeing a paint can after Peter failed to show up to help Ben with this chore� �Equal parts green paint and uncle tears�
     I also enjoyed the pop culture references: Mike sings Wayne Coyne (Nice to know that someone is familiar with the Flaming Lips superb �Soft Bulletin� CD). There�s a quip about wild child Ruthie of �Real World� fame and a funny bit where Peter looks at his wrist and recalls a �Revenge of the Sith� based suicide attempt.
     The blue material fits and is funny, a couple of altered Spiderman themes are a gas and guys reliving High School trauma�s during the wrestling scene provides yet another highlight to an all �round superb comedic masterpiece..
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Rifftrax: Next
�It�s just not the same without Colonel Glen Manning in a diaper� � Mike upon seeing Las Vegas
     Mike and Bridget were stellar in their assault on �Grey�s Anatomy� and at the start I thought they�d be able to equal that effort. The opening bit where Bridget can�t wrap her brain around the idea of Nic Cage playing the hero is a gem. And Mike gets one of the biggest laughs of this or any �Trax when he makes mention of Bridget�s Easter outfit.
     But most of this movie is met with even, though not spectacular quips. There are cute riffs; the lines about Peter Faulk, Mike�s marriage proposal, Gary Liberace, Bridget Mustard and I especially like how Bridget draws back for some obscure reference material, such as the �Icky Shuffle�. But overall �Next� is a step down from the hilarity of their work on Greys.
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