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My Journey...........so far :)
(Posted August 15, 2002)
Over the 5+ years I've been able to access the Internet, I've seen (and created) a million plus personal websites. I don't expect mine will receive any huge amount of traffic. For some reason, I like the ability to create something and have others read it. I guess part of it is simply me chatting for the sake of chatting, and the other part is that maybe (maybe?) someone will read something I wrote and like it for whatever reason they want to insert _h_e_r_e.
Having said that, let me get on to the journey portion of the evening :)
My name is Allison. I'm 28, single and live alone down in the middle of Tennessee. I smoke, drink on occasion, swear like a sailor and hopefully make a pretty decent pal. Around the first of August, I was over at my parents home visiting my out of town relatives. One of the highlights of said trip was that my step-grandmother had recently lost some large amount of weight and wanted to show her new svelte figure. I remember vividly walking in the house, hugging her and hearing my mother (whom did not mean it as I took it), "See what you can do you if you put your mind to it!" I quickly dismissed her with being very proud of what I had DONE in my life, ect,. but later on, I felt a little hurt by the comment. Now don't get me wrong, weight has never been an issue in my family, we're all big folks so there really isn't any room for anyone to talk. However, in that same night I noticed something that would have a profound effect on me from that moment forward.
I was sitting on the sofa next to my father, who was reading the newspaper. He went to get up and I noticed that it took him a while just to get ready to get up! After he got up, he ambled on to the kitchen and from that vantage point I was able to get a look at him like I'd never seen. It was that of a 56 year old man, with Type 2 Diabetes, his legs swollen, his pace slow. A man who spends most of his days sitting in that very same spot on the sofa and is very content to do so. Since I am built very much like him, I saw for the first time what the next 25 years had in store for me. I went home that night and thought about my life thus far, my lifestyle, my activity level and what the years to come would bring. I became scared and sad. The best I can explain is that I probably (on some level) realized my own mortality. Sure, I may feel fine now but what happens in ten years when I'm slowly but surely unable to do some of the little things. The little things would become the big things. I don't want to loose the big things. I don't want to lose the little things. Something had to give.
The next week I began what I now call my lifestyle change. I don't like the word diet, nor will you ever hear me say that they are ok. Any word that is composed mainly of the word DIE is not that great in my book :). That week I began watching what I ate in terms of fats and sugars (a little bit of carbs, but I don't obsess on them), drinking water (which believe it or not, I did not do in the past) and most importantly, I began to move. August 15th will forever be known as Day 1 of the rest of my life. Day 1 is the day I began to live again...
Since then, I've made strides I'd never have thought possible. Until that day in August, I'd never once attempted to lose any weight, watch what I eat or exercise. Now, I couldn't imagine it any other way. It's a life long journey and I have accepted that fact. No, I haven't accepted it, I've embraced it.
This site is not only a chronicle for myself, but also to those who are just starting out or need inspiration to go the distance. Truer words were never spoken in that you have to decide to do it for yourself, not for anyone else. This is my journey, enjoy the ride...I know I will :)
Allison
***P-P-Prologue 5/1/03
A lot has happened since I wrote that first journal entry. Wow, a LOT has happened. The two biggest things are A. I've lost 50 pounds and B. my father (and motivator in getting fit) has become ill. I didn't know then (when I wrote that letter to myself) that what I was seeing was not only a man that lived a very sedentary lifestyle, but also a very sick man. My father has since been diagnosed with non-alcoholic cirrhosis and is currently on the Vanderbilt University Liver transplant list. His MELD score (look that up if you don't know) is 19, which is not terrible, but it's not really good either. Right now he is maintaining.
I am still trucking along, albeit at a slower pace. That's ok though, I have learned some life lessons on how to become healthier, which was the biggest factor for me. I went from eating junk all day every day, to occasionally. I don't drink cola anymore, but yes, I still have chocolate. Gotta have some guilty pleasures, right?
I'm still going...proud that me and my site have kept on keeping on. I really hate when I see a site that the person did so well for a few months, then their gone. I'm still around--hopefully will always be :)
xoxo
Allison
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