| Knowing K.D. as I do it is hard for me to realize that she would deny something so strongly. I have only known her for about five months, but she has always been strong and up front about her illness. It just goes to show that denial is not a conscious thought; rather it is an automatic reaction. K�bler-Ross states that denial is usually a temporary defense; very seldom does it last till death. She goes on to explain, �[T] he need for denial exist in every patient at times, at the very beginning of a serious illness more so than towards the end of life. I regard it a healthy way of dealing with the uncomfortable and painful situation [�] patients [has] to live with� (35-37). When the patient can no longer deny their illness they may become angry. Anger is the hardest for family and friends to deal with; many times it is displaced outwardly (K�bler-Ross 44). Karla explained one of her experiences with anger and how she dealt with it: I had a lot of hope last fall, until I learned that because I have seizures I wasn�t a candidate for a transplant. Once I realized I was dying I instantly remembered the names of all the people who got tattoos before me the night of the party. I was mad at them. I thought it was their fault, but I had to remind myself that no one had forced me get a tattoo, it was my choice (K.D.). Anger can show up at any time, even when the patient has accepted their illness. Often, friends and family will notice the patient being �overly sensitive� when in reality it is the anger at their illness showing. Bargaining is the least well known, as K�bler-Ross has found, it is usually kept a secret and is made with God (72-74). Every bargain is different, the patient might want to go to a wedding or make sure they have one more chance to see loved ones that live a distance. It could also be as simple as; God let me make it to my next anniversary. K.D. explains, �All I ask is that God lets me live long enough to make sure that my developmentally disabled son is safe and well cared for.�(K.D.) Depression is the stage that has the greatest effect on the patient. It affects the whole mindset; even a bright sunny warm day can be annoying to the person suffering from depression. K.D. explains: Depression, is the hardest part, it comes and goes. There are days I feel great. Nothing can get me down. Then there are days when I do not want to get out of bed. I have suffered from insomnia and some nights are really bad because the darkness seems to bring death closer, somehow. It can make the happiest person into a mere shadow of himself or herself. |
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