| Facing Death |
We all know we are going to die; yet when a patient finds out they are terminally ill, it comes as a shock. It is almost like they are aware for the first time of their mortality. Kay Kramer, a clinical social worker, wrote a book with her husband to help him come to terms with his terminal illness and impending death puts it simply: �Our instinct for survival is so strong, so deep-seated, that we defend ourselves against death by denying it� (48). Kay has helped hundreds of people to accept their mortality. Many people die daily not knowing that they were living their last day. Yet, the terminal patient is acutely aware that today might be their last day. Is it possible to accept your death unaware of when it will come? Bruce Sewick states in his masters thesis �The American Culture�s vision of life sees [�] death as the defeat of our attempts to master nature.� Elizabeth K�bler-Ross breaks down the reaction to news of a terminal illness into five stages: The first stage, denial, gives the patient time to collect himself (35). The second stage, anger, could be projected onto others (44). The third stage, bargaining, is an attempt to postpone death in exchange for some sacrifice (73). The fourth stage, depression, is a deep sense of loss (75). The fifth and final stage, acceptance, is only acquired when patients are able to work through their distress (99). She goes on to add that hope for a cure will hold out through the entirety of the illness (123). Denial can be a matter of months, as I learned in an interview with my friend K.D.: I donated blood for a back surgery I was having. The office called me and said they had �trashed� the blood I had donated. I thought that they were saying they had accidentally destroyed it. I told them I didn�t have time to donate more. They said I couldn�t donate more because I had Hepatitis-C and that I should have a blood test at my primary physicians to confirm their results. He told me the test was positive and that I should get a liver biopsy to estimate how long I had, had it. When I went in for my surgery, the hospital did another blood test and it came back positive. I couldn�t believe what they were saying could possibly be true; I had, had blood test before how come they never found it? I changed doctors, got a referral to a specialist and he told me I was ill with stage four Hepatitis-C confirming what everyone else was saying. He told me that you have to ask for a Hepatitis screening, which was why they never found it before. The liver biopsy showed that I had, had it for approximately 20-27 years; about the time I got my tattoos. It took me six months and being told six different times before I realized that I might die (K.D.). There are also a few cases where denial can even last years. |
| Facing Death �Death Belongs to life as birth does. The walk is in the raising of the foot as in the laying of it down.� Tagore (qtd. in K�bler-Ross 240) |
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