Wednesday, August 27, 2003

:[mood]: doing good

These past few days have been a fantastic blur to me.

I just want to put up what I did yesterday for my own purposes. So let me see how much I actually remember from yesterday... Another good day as I hung out with my old elementary school friend. I can't believe i've known her for so long and I only see her about once a year yet our friendship is still really good. We ate and of course did a little shopping at Waikele. Oh my gosh I bought so much stuff! Nooooo. Then we hung out at a friend's house for a bit. It was nice seeing him. Then I met up with a new friend and his friends and we went to Pearlridge where I did even more freckin shopping. Then I hung out with them for a bit 'till night.

Today I was pretty tired but my friends dragged me to the beach.

My summer has gotten very much more interesting. I met someone new through a friend and now i'm meeting a new group of people. I don't want to say too much yet because it kind of all seems unreal to me. The past few days have been really great for me and...I can't describe it right now. But everything is really good. I'm happy. :)

Tuesday, August 19, 2003

:[mood]: touchy

Hung out with some friends last night at Sandy beach. Absolutely my favorite beach at night. Grabbed a towel and just lay there looking up at the stars. It was just so beautiful I could have easily fallen asleep there if it wasn't for my friends playing some game that involved shouting out movie names. :p'.

As we prepared to leave, I looked over to this one spot that I had frequented last summer with a certain someone...it really all seemed like a dream as my eyes imagined the times when we would come out late at night to just sit and talk. It was so good to be with him. But of course in a blink of an eye that spot is now empty.

Sunday, August 17, 2003

:[mood]: ...

Sometimes I don't know what I get myself into. I always let my feelings get in the way. Let me think...why is it I always get depressed at my parties? Uhm I love my friends and it does make me super happy everytime I get a chance to see them. I'm confused. I think I don't know what I want and i'm using the excuse of I go away for college in many aspects of my life. I guess i'm just sad because a lot of my friends are leaving and I will soon be leaving, too. I have so much I don't want to leave behind. But in all reality I do go away for college and I have quite a few more years ahead of me until I finish. Some things will just have to be put off and...maybe some things will happen, maybe some things won't. I got to learn and accept that.

Friday, August 15, 2003

:[mood]: eh whatever

Uh...heh I don't even know about this week. It started off quite bad and tiring and then...yeah. Just yeah. haha. Uhm i'm having a party tomorrow night and it's Friday night and I haven't really called anybody. I am so bad at calling people and planning stuff haha. I didn't realize a lot of my friends are leaving in a couple of days 'cause i'm not leaving 'till first week of September. So yeah. That's about the haps in my life... :)

Monday, August 11, 2003

:[mood]: quite tired

I had to do something today that was supposed to benefit me and nobody else. But it didn't end up working towards my favor. Even though the person who was helping me lost nothing themselves, I felt like I let them down even though it was me who had everything to lose. I don't like letting people down even though i'm the one who lost something. Oh well.

Little things...little things that happened today made me happy. I was up and out since like 5am so when I got back home sometime in the afternoon before going out to a dinner, I was just completely exhausted and wanted to cry and go to sleep. But I just had a simple conversation with a friend online and that made me feel better. After that I went to a birthday dinner that at first I didn't want to go to because I was so tired. But once I got there I was really happy because I was surrounded by old friends. Got home and my mom got a present from my aunt. It also turns out that there was a present inside for me, too. That just so made my day!

That was great. Little things really do make a difference.

Saturday, August 09, 2003

:[mood]: grumpy

I have been so out of it this summer. I don't know what to do. I really just don't want to do anything. It's such an awful feeling to just be this way. I've been sick for the past couple of weeks and I don't think it's something the doctors can cure. I have to help myself.

I had the worst dream. I had to watch somebody I care about not care about me but care about somebody else. I woke up gasping and looking around realizing it was just a dream. Just a dream. It's never just a dream...

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