Miss Louise

The "Hot Babe" of the team, Miss Louise is a student who also acts and does cheerleading.

She's always wanted to do something that would appeal to virgin geeks: "I see Consolevania as an opportunity for me to pretend to do something I supposedly love, before laughing about the dickwad viewers with my hot friends."

Louise enjoys music, dancing and Orkney.

Mr. Ryan

Ryan has largely worked in really bad jobs and tries to live his life through Robert's amazing sucesses.
He said: "Quite often my workmates say "well, alright your mate wrote for TV, but who watched it? And whats that got to do with you?" After that I'm like "Fuck up right! He's brilliant, and you're just bitter 'cause he's not your mate." And then they go like "well he's not brilliant though, he's just fat." Usually after that I just phone in sick so I dont have to talk to them anymore. That way I get to make consolevania."

Kenny

Little is known about the enigmatic Kenny. It's understood he first met the Consolevania team when he dragged Mr. Ryan out of a nightclub and forced him to carry him around the city centre on his shoulders all night.

In his spare time, Kenny likes to stare at birds until they can't fly without constantly checking that he isn't following behind them in a hot air balloon.

Mr. Michael

Mr. Michael is a man of science. His interest in consolevania is from a purely scientific point of view:

"I'm interested in finding out just how many ways ugly men in a videogame TV show can shoot scenes where they need to interact with hot girls."

This follows his successful experiment of 2003, when he threw 13 Japanese schoolgirls through a bedroom window until a fat gamer's cock exploded.

Ms. Joanne

Ms. Joanne is fantasy personified. Sophistication, comic timing, cool sexiness and intelligence combine with videogaming prowess to create the type of woman who exists only in men's dreams.

Her mature outlook helps temper the team's more extravagant ideas, and she is the level head at times of crisis.

We mainly like her because she looks under-age.