Fortunately I'm a decent cook. Things turned out pretty tasty after all. Our gracious hosts, Vamanos, spanked out a smoking set of garagey mayhem that blew away the set they did when we played with them in Stanwood. Apparently, this joint was their rehearsal space, party spot, and home - at least for another week or so. Clearly the neighbors were less enamored with the tuneage than we were.
Our set was an exercise in manic energy. Every song seemed to be faster than the last, with no sign of letting up. The crowd, most too young to have ever seen the Ramones live, flung themselves about with reckless abandon, often spilling over to the stage along with gallons of beer. More than once I was sure I was going to lose a few teeth from a drunken punter flying into my mic stand. Fortunately, my reflexes are becoming keener the more I encounter this phenomenon. 20 some odd servings of limb abuse later, we dragged our sweaty asses from the stage to a chorus of "Dude - you guys fucking ROCK!" But that's not the real story.
Within the crowd were a smattering of, for lack of a better description, interesting people. Sure there were the drunk punks, the sulking wallflowers, and more hot young chicks than a Girls Gone Wild video. A few ...uh... special people stood out in the crowd. Like the one gal who looked like a taller, younger, hotter version of Patti Smith circa "Easter" - wifebeater shirt and all. Or the guy who offered Hoagie a chicken pot pie in barter for a ride home. Hoagie shrewdly declined the offer, as everyone knows the going rate for a ride home is 3 chicken pot pies.
There was also a young punk couple festooned with all the accoutrements circa England 1977 (ie: before their daddies grew big boy hair.) The gal had the Nancy Spungen thing going on in a big and scary way. The guy was a mish mash of piercings, plaid, and drunken angst. I can't remember ever hearing two people talk so much so fast and not remembering a goddamned thing either one of them said. That being said, they were genuinely sweet in their own twisted way.
The strangest bird of all showed up during Vamanos' set. For the purposes of this anecdote, I'll call her "Ally" like Ally Sheedy circa "The Breakfast Club." She actually was a cross between Ally Sheedy's "Breakfast" character, Molly Ringwald's in "Pretty in Pink," and the chick in some basketball movie I've long since forgotten the title of. At first glance she appeared to be about 45 years old with ratty black hair (actually about 21 with dark purple hair upon closer inspection), horn rimmed glasses, a white librarian shirt, a skirt and sweater straight from a thrift store, and tennis shoes. She tried to skirt the cover charge by offering a bag of taquitos as barter. Patti Smith's doppelganger, working the door, was having none of that, and made her pay.
Ally made her way to the back room where we were hanging out. She commented about how she needed to free her breasts. Exsqueeze me? Baking powder? Turns out she had taped her tits down under her blouse. She claimed it was so she would look more corporate at work. Apparently she was soliciting for assistance from one of the band members in emancipating her knockers. She also asked if anyone had a pair of scissors. At this point, Marci (my girlfriend) walks up and the scenario is repeated for her edification. Ally proceeds to pull her blouse about halfway up to reveal about an entire roll of masking tape surrounding her jugs. She started trying to pull it off with no success. After inquiring again about scissors, she suddenly realizes, "Oh wait! I have a shank!" From her purse Ally produces a four fingered pocket knife with a black handle that looked eerily homemade. After futilely attempting to cut her floppers free, Marci mercifully offered to help. The two repaired to the bathroom, where the conversation apparently consisted of "Hold still" and "Ow! My nipples!" If anyone knows this chick, please inform her that:
In 1863, Luman L Chapman patented a corset substitute with breast puffs and shoulder-brace straps that tied in back. The first bra was born. Then in 1893, Marie Tucek patented the "Breast Supporter" - the first garment similar to the modern-day bra that used shoulder straps with a hook-and-eye closure to support the breasts in pockets of fabric.
In 1904, the Charles R. DeBevoise Company first labeled a woman's bra-like garment a 'brassiere'. It was actually a lightly boned camisole that helped stabilize the breasts.
source: http://www.ebrasetc.com/bra_history.htm
Then please direct her to http://www.playtex.com/ or the nearest K Mart.
Anyway, now that her funbags were free to roam where they pleased, she danced around the floor to her own music, only pausing to shout requests for Patsy Cline to the band. After the set, I'm guessing she stepped back through whatever wormhole she came in by and returned to her home world.
Upon loading out, the cops drove by and asked if band practice was over. Our reply was a relieved "yes."