Your stars with Granny
"I may be senile,but I still know        how  to milk a stubborn donkey..."
               Leo
LIFE: As a result of the interplanetary relationships between mars and pluto,the latest solar eclipse,and your problem with alchoholism,your life is pretty much fucked.Sorry.

LOVE: No.Your ex-wife will not remove the AVO if you buy her flowers.Its been done.Spend the money on a long neck, I know you wanna.

MONEY: Shoulda payed the bills instead of getting that long neck.No,you will not win big on the pokies.
LIFE: Seems your alternate personalities have been at each other for awhile now.You can resolve the dispute with some controlled discussion and strong medication.Oh,and will you acknowledge that inner child,her bitching will slowly drive you past the level of insanity you are already well within.

LOVE: No,personalities can not inter-marry.Go to a bar and try some sleazy pick up lines like a normal person..

MONEY: You dont have any.You probably never will.
       Gemini
            Virgo
LIFE: Now is the perfect time to get one.With the nearing of the solar eclipse,you are faced with the opportunity to become slightly less pathetic and do something somewhat excitng.(NO.Knitting with different needles does not count).

LOVE: Venus says lose the chastity belt.

MONEY:They say crime doesnt pay,but neither does volunteer work.Neptune suggests less charitys and more jobs.Consider prostitution.(Hey,dont knock it till you've tried it darl).
LIFE: Pluto is telling me that this month the doctor is going to double your medication for the benifit of the wider community.

LOVE: You dont actually absorb much at all do you?When you hear moaning noises from your own bedroom and they tell you the hampsters constipated.THEY'RE LYING DIPSHIT.

MONEY: You will narrowly miss a million dollar opportunity.Better luck next time.
           Libra
LIFE: You dont have one as yet.Crochet is NOT an extreme sport.

LOVE: That lanky guy at the post office.He wants you bad.

MONEY: You will open a craft stall.Incidently it will be across the road from the senior citizens week celebrations, and you become considerably wealthy.
                   Pisces
LIFE: <------- Is what the judge is gonna say. Hey at least they outlawed capital punishment.And dont worry about the cockroaches in the gruel,they're not nearly as chewy as they look.

LOVE: A spontanious lover will sneak up from behind when you disregard advice about dropping the soap...

MONEY: hmmm...yep.They're gonna forfeit your assets too.
                Scorpio
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