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| STARS |
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| LIFE: Your chosen proffesion as an odour identification technition takes you to new and er....unique places.enjoy. LOVE: I know,its hard to pick up when you're an odour identification technition. MONEY: You will be premoted to mucus identification technition. |
| CAPRICORN |
| AQUARIUS |
| LIFE: Hmmm...neptune tells me you're in for a bit of an incontinance problem. good luck with that. LOVE: Just because you have to wear nappy-like panty liners for the rest of your life doesnt mean you wont find true love.*stiffled laughter* MONEY: You have a little. spend it on a toilet and stop digging holes in the backyard,the neighbours are complaining. |
| TAURUS |
| LIFE: Uranus,and your psychiatrist, have informed me you are a pathological liar.Your social life will improve dramatically if you stop trying to convince people you invented electricity and the flushing mechanism on toilets.i assure you. LOVE: When will you realise prospective partners will stop trusting you when you tell them you are a stockbroker and then take them back to your make-shift hut? MONEY: Stop pretending you have it and actually get some.for christs sake. |
| SAGITARIUS |
| LIFE: Lifes hard for people with birth deformities and/or facial abnormalitys.ever thought of a career in radio...or as a nurse in a hostel for the blind? LOVE: Beer has been helping ugly people get laid for quite some time,however in extreme cases such as your own,im going to recommend you try to get laid in a place where members of the opposite sex are using something a little stronger...say...LSD? MONEY: Strongly recommending you invest.....in cosmetic surgery. |
| ARIES |
| LIFE: Pluto tells me you're a bit of a follower.NO.just because other people say jazzercise is cool does NOT make it an acceptable passtime. LOVE: As a result of your brain being unusualy highly suceptable to media brainwashing techniques,your idea of an acceptable partner lies within standards which are,sorry cyclops,to damn high. MONEY: Unless you plan to cease your activities as a 'yes man' some time soon, you will be continually exploited as cheap labour. |
| CANCER |
| LIFE: Mars told me to inform you that ,yes, genital tingling and itching CAN be a result of herpes.see a friggn doctor dude! LOVE: as a result of all that tingling if i were you i'd probably be putting an end to all that promiscuity. MONEY: spend it on a facts pack. |
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