I am not a believer for any rational reason. I am not a believer for any logical reason. In fact, the reason I am a believer probably couldn't be understood by anyone except me and God.
My belief goes deeper than just pure facts in my mind. My belief goes deeper than just what my parents or other people tell me. My beliefs goes deeper still than the the feelings in my body. My belief is firmly anchored in the deepest part of my entire being, my spirit.
There is just an inexplicable feeling or joy and euphoria whenever I am in my spirit. I have found solace in the meetings ever since I started really turning and seeking. Even when my faith was small, and when I was still very young in the Lord, I knew that there was just something about the meetings that I couldn't quite put my finger on. For some enigmatic reason, whenever I was in the meeting, I felt rejuvenated. I felt like some heavy burden was lifted from my shoulders. At first, there wasn't a huge feeling of change; but as I grew older, and the world piled heavier and heavier burdens on top of me, I found that the only thing keeping me going was the meetings. After a long and stressful week I knew I could come and just drop all my problems and enjoy.
Soon, I began to enjoy the company of my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. I found that there wasn't a single person in the Church that I didn't like. I felt a universal union that was just so strong. Whenever one of us fell, all of us would be pulling that one lost sheep onwards towards our goal in Christ. Many times in my life I have been thankful for such a support group in my brothers and sisters. Although my worldly companions can forsake me, and so easily turn on me, I know that there will always be the the fellow saints standing right beside me.
But Christ became more than just my enjoyment with a corporate Body; as I grew older and spent more personal time with the Lord. I realized more and more how wonderful he is. Through prayer and pray-reading, I feel like I've grown so much and know so much about how much the Lord has done for me. Every time I spend time with the Lord, I feel like my faith has gained another inch, and it's anchor has sank just a little bit deeper into my rock and eternal stand, Jesus Christ.
So although my belief may not be tangible. Although it may be hard for you to understand exactly how I feel, I know all of us who have touched the Lord know how wonderful it is. Our problem is not to make ourselves believe, our problem is that we are blinded too much by the world when all we need to see is just the Lord, then everything else will fall out of sight.
