There was a time in my life when I became so depressed that I could hardly function. Many times I didn't even get out of bed or get dressed. I didn't clean my house, I didn't care how I looked. I just didn't care about anything at all. Nothing brought me joy or gave me peace in my heart. You see, I was raised in a Christian home and was taught about what Jesus had done for me and I loved Him very much. But, when I got out of high school and got a good paying job, I guess I thought I didn't need God anymore. I really never gave Him a second thought anymore. I should have known I couldn't live without God in my life but, I really strayed away. I didn't thank Him for giving me this good job, I didn't thank Him for my wonderful family nor did I pray to Him when I was down. I believe that God used this depression to get my attention and bring me back to Him. God used the devil's evil and turned it into good.
My depression went on for almost two years. But, one night I was feeling at the very bottom. Before I went to bed that night, I got down on my knees beside my bed and I prayed and cried and prayed and cried. I asked God to forgive me for being gone for so long and told Him how sorry I was. I told Him that He was the only one who could heal me and make me whole once again. I then climbed into bed and went to sleep. At some point during the night I was awakened by something (someone) touching me. It was a tingling feeling from my shoulders all the way down to my feet. I also could hear a buzzing sound. It's hard to explain. It startled me so much that I sat straight up in my bed. It was instantly gone. Needless to say, I didn't get any sleep the rest of the night. I believe that God touched me that night and healed me. From that moment on, I had this inner feeling of peace that I hadn't felt in a very long time.
With each passing day I got better and better. I started to clean my house again. I started noticing things that I hadn't noticed before .... butterflies, birds, the little squirrels running up and down the trees, the beautiful clouds in the sky, the sunrises and sunsets. Everything was just beautiful to me. I started to see the good in people rather than the bad.
Yes, God healed me that night and I haven't been the same since. He put love and peace into my heart where darkness and depression had once been.
Yes, I still get depressed about things in my life from time to time. But, it doesn't last. All I have to do is talk with God and think about what He did for me that night in my bedroom and I feel better once again.
Thank you Lord Jesus for your forgiveness and your grace .... yes, your Amazing Grace. AMEN.
