2. The best way to get info from usenet is not to ask a question, but to give a bad answer
3. Some people never finish a
4. If a program is useless, it will have to be extensively documented
5. 30 seconds after permanently deleting/throwing/burning it, you will need it
6. Everything is directly or indirectly related to the number five
7. No matter how good a websit is, its webmaster is guaranteed to get at least one e-mail that says "UR PAGE SUCKS"
8. Few things are as amazing as the amount of effort people will go to in order to annoy others
9. The only advantage in making computers understand English is that it will prove once and for all that programmers can't write in English
10. The best truths invariably come from the sudes of mugs that you never remember purchasing
11. Murphy was an optimist
12. Paranoids live longer, but they get less done
13. The keyboard is mightier than the pen, and the pen is mightier than the sword, but the atom bomb kicks ass....
14. The truly great always die too soon
15. The less you know about something, the easier it is to hate it
17. Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name
18. There will always be someone who thinks the speed limit is a minimum
19. Wherever you go....there you are
20. The necessity of the qietness of your footsteps lies in diret proportion to the amount of objects you'll bump into
21. No mater how plain and clear your language, someone will impute hidden meaning and evil intent
22. When you are not high, people who are are never as entertaining as they think they are
23. Everything takes longer than it takes
24. the volume of the music coming from inside a car is inversely proportional to the quality of what's being played
25. Some days you see a lot of people on crutches.
26.Death kills, beware
27. You can do anything in the world you set your mind to...other than walking through revolving doors with skis on your back
28. Don't judge a book by its cover...judge it by its color, weight, height, width, complexion, and all of its other features
29. The most painful household injury is stepping on an upturned plug in barefeet
30. There will always be someone around to correct your grammar.
31. Any group of geeks will find something to discuss that is of no interest to anyone else yet seems to be universally interesting to them.
32. Almost everyone believes he/she is a better than average driver
33. Software is a gas; it expands to fill all available disk space
34. If it says "you must restart your system" its lying
35. The more work you do on a website, the further it seems from completion
36. a/s/l tells you nothing about a person; the most interesting people aren't going to give you meaningful answers to a/s/l anyway
37. A person with two first names cannot be trusted
38. Nothing works faster than a geek with a challenge
40. People who want to share thier religious views with you rarely want you to share your's with them.
41. There's more than 5 ways to skin a cat, but less than 3 reasons to want to
42. There is nothing inherently good about a number that can be reached by counting
43. Original truths are much harder to come up with than clever things you've heard from your friends
44. The best humor in the world will be banned by management; the best humor in the world will be about management
45. The glass is neither half full or half empty. Regardless of the amount of liguid in the glass, it is 99.99% empty space anyway
46. There is no evil, just fun and boring
47.The last 10% of a file takes 90% of the download time
48. If it weren't for a last minute nothing would get done
49. If it weren't for a last minute, nothing would get done <see 30>