February 28, 2002
Sooooo... last night I confronted Kevin in front of our boys. I didn't leave anything out.
He admited to the boys he doesn't love me that he does love Lisa.
Well... we were up until 3:00am discussing this whole mess. Kevin broke one of the cups we
brought home from our Chicago vacation. He picked it up and slammed it into the floor. Nice job...
He's so mature.
Then we go to bed... of course the only reason I confronted him is because I wanted a hug... or
some sort of attention from him. That's all I wanted.
We go to bed and he stays on his side of the bed... clinging to the side so he doesn't fall on the
floor.
Honestly, I didn't know if he was coming home tonight after work. He made it clear last night that
he had no intentions of coming home. He almost left last night... that's when the three oldest
kids came into the room and we stood talking for a long time then we all ended up on the bed talking
until 3:00am.
It all started when I took a nap yesterday afternoon... I woke up and was getting ready for church.
Well... it was one of Lisa's kids birthday parties after church. Kevin didn't want me to go. You see...
if I went then that puts a damper on his time with Lisa... don't ya think?!!
I talked to Mark after church... told him I was sorry for putting him in the position of 'spying' on
her for me. I didn't realize the pressure that put on him. Anyway... when I told Kevin what I
was talking to Mark about he went ballistic right there in the church... quietly ballistic.
We were called out to Lisa's brother's because his wife was ill... Kevin didn't, would NOT, talk
to me at all. Not when I asked how to use the CD player in the van. Not about anything. He told me
he didn't want me twisting what he had to say so he wasn't going to talk to me again.
Anyway... I asked him about the Steers and Stripes CD. He admitted buying it but he couldn't tell
me where it was. Told me it was absolutely none of my business. OKAY!!! None of my business...
I decided to go through his brief case... see, past history tells me he would just go buy a new one.
I didn't want him telling me it was in his brief case all the time. I found his phone bill. It's like
several hundred dollars. That's how much time he talks to Lisa!!!! On the cell phone!!!!
He comes in and sees that I have a box of stuff out of the car... he went ballistic throwing stuff.
So then I asked him about the Sprint phone bill. He tells me right in front of Chris that he hasn't
seen the phone bill. That's when I told him I had seen it... in his brief case.
It really reeeeeeeaaaally made him mad when I told him I was in his brief case *LOL*
I caught him in a BOLD lie. Right in front of Chris. That is when I decided to confront him
about the receipts and everything else. It was not a pretty thing.
But at least Aaron now knows that his Dad really has been having a 'thing' with
Lisa. I didn't have to tell him... his dad did that.
It is quite a relief to have everything out in the open...
But to have Kevin call me today!!! Whoa... I was surprised!!
He was even nice when he called. Told me we have to start building somewhere. I suppose we
do. But this is a complete change from last night.
Last night I wanted a hug... tonight Kevin came home from work at like 5:10pm. TOTAL shock.
He was nice. Then he took a nap. When he got up we were watching survivor. He went to town
to get pop and chips etc...When he got home we were watching CSI. He sat next to
me. He wanted to snuggle.... I had gone to bed after CSI. He came in shortly after. Him wanting
to snuggle... and kiss???? I'm not sure how to deal with my feelings at this point. Last night
I wanted a hug. Tonight I did not want a kiss... did not want to snuggle. He has rejected me so
completely... thoroughly turned me away this past couple weeks and now this?????
I'm sorry... I can't warm up like that. He's ice one day and snuggly warm the next.
Give me some space... that's what he was saying a couple weeks ago to me. When he first told me
that he had an 'intimate' friendship with Lisa.
Well... I've given him space. Now I need mine.
~me
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