| All About Omniphobia | ||||||||||||||||
| Ah, omniphobia, the fear of everything. If you have it, your probably afraid to read this. In fact, you're most likely in an asylum, and nowhere near computers because you're scared to death of them. You'd be afraid of many things, like: tongues, plastic, wrenches, stars, money, flashlights, dice, windsurfers, ribbons, cameras, cans, pencils, pins, watermelons, sodas, tape, necklaces, molds, gutters, jewels, houses, music, toes, wastebaskets, x-rays, cups, paint, lambs, stomaches, rain, telescopes, knees, poles, champagne, beans, angels, students, salmon, lungs, gasoline, tubs, foxes, chimneys, bikinis, prisons, taxes, igloos, fireplaces, axes, smoke, referees, cork, streams, trees, jellyfish, vines, bombs, umbrellas, cones, flood, frog, rib, table, flower, towels, windows, lockers, toys, podiums, saucers, rainbows, amoebae, snails, rice, grass, fences, horses, sheds, leaves, birds, tractors, Olympics, straw, mirrors, chapters, vacuums, bread, cyclones, gravy, emeralds, gangs, pliers, binoculars, studios, parakeets, fingernails, meadows, bats, curbs, zippers, gutters, outlets, elbows, weeds, paper, wigs, roads, saunas, cords, ducks, floors, books, announcers, diapers, cakes, cookies, lemons, speakers, and more. Actually, omniphobics are afraid of absolutely everything. Yes, everything. They are afraid of normally scary things too, of course.They are just afraid of everything else. Normal people don't come home and say "Billy saw a piece of grass growing in a crack in the sidewalk!!! Isn't that SCARY!!!" (if you do, if you don't mind me saying, you need therapy) because most people aren't afraid of grass or sidewalks. |
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| If you are omniphobic, these friendly sunflowers can seem deadly. Just like revolving doors. | ||||||||||||||||
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