Allow me to explain what ‘NEVILLE OF THE WEEK’ is all about…

Having failed to inform his team-mates that he wasn’t gonna be playing with us for our friendly against Grey Lynn, for various pathetic excuses he threw at us, we decided some form of punishment was required for the Scouser. So after much deliberation in the pub post-match we came up with the ‘NEVILLE OF THE WEEK’ Award. Basically, every player who f**ks the team over each week, (be it the extreme of not turning up for a game and switching your phone off so nobody can contact you!!! or just simply scoring an OG or missing a penalty) will be awarded the NOTW title and be named and shamed on the website. We’ll keep track of these awards and the biggest NEVILLE at the end of the season will receive a punishment we have yet to decide upon.

A slight variation to the vote, recently put forward by Stuart Dye, and accepted; in the absence of an obvious weekly NEVILLE, the award automatically goes to Richie for his part in the kit fiasco. Front runner for NEVILLE OF THE SEASON now Richie, what better excuse do the guys need to stay in line…

 

28/08/06

NOTW #23: Mr. Alexander Bell

REASON: Just for f**king off back to England really. His hat-wearing was short-lived though as NEVILLE OF THE SEASON was promptly awarded to none other than Neville Poole himself. Well done Neville! Now for your punishment…

 

21/08/06

NOTW #22: Mr. Neville Poole

REASON: Well, it was Tancell, but then Neville won himself the vote by trying to offload some non-currency dollar bills as part of his subs! Cheeky b@stard! This act has all but secured the title for Nev, unless of course somebody manages to get two votes next week… hmmmmmmmmmmm!

 

14/08/06

NOTW #21: Mr. Richie O’Neill

REASON: Well, we did say in the absence of an obvious candidate that Richie gets the award by default for his part in the kit fiasco. Does it matter that there wasn’t a game, or that he wasn’t even in the country??? No. A three way tie with a maximum of two games to go… I might just pee my pants with the excitement!

 

07/08/06

NOTW #20: Mr. Angus Welton

REASON: It really is desperation stuff now as the result of NEVILLE OF THE SEASON draws near. Gus’s vote today for missing a few sitters and having his car break down after the game sees him joint top with Neville for the inaugural award, of which the punishment has yet to be decided. Watch them next week as they try to stitch each other up to ensure the other walks away with the title. Thrilling!!!

 

02/08/06

NOTW #19: Mr. James Wooderson

REASON: For giving away his third penalty of the season (according to my sources) and resigning Richie to conceding another goal. He was run close by Gibbo this week, but welcome to the NOTW Leaderboard Woody!

 

26/07/06

NOTW #18: Mr. Matt Jenkins

REASON: For becoming the second keeper in O’Carrolls history to miss a penalty, and also miss the rebound – in fact not even react to it. Matt also denied OC’s the opportunity to reach double figures for a league game this season. Welcome to joint-second Matthew!

 

17/07/06

NOTW #17: Mr. Neville ‘Pool’

REASON: Neville now leads the way for the inaugural NEVILLE OF THE SEASON award having missed training on Wednesday due to his washing machine overflowing and his floor getting wet… or something to that effect!

 

10/07/06

NOTW #17: Mr. Tim Eddison

REASON: A number of reasons for the gaffer’s nomination today; spilling beer all over himself at Tuesday’s quiz night drink –off, singing the Kiwi national anthem on Saturday whilst watching the rugby and the ill-advice to Paul Tancell regarding posting on the ASFA Forum. A busy week for the gaffer sees him joint first for NEVILLE OF THE SEASON with four others.

 

03/07/06

NOTW #16: Mr. Barry Malone

REASON: For trying to cheat poor Bay Olympic of an 11th goal and palm the ball into the net. Shame on you Barry! You may look like Jesus, but that’s no excuse for trying to use the Hand Of God!

 

26/06/06

NOTW #15: Mr. Stuart Dye

REASON: For being ‘THE WEAKEST LINK’, for missing an absolute sitter, for winning the scratch card and for just turning up at all really. Oh, for being just too damn good looking!

 

19/06/06

NOTW #14: Mr. David Walsh

REASON: A late nomination for NEVILLE OF THE WEEK, Dave gets it for trying to swindle the club out of about $2000, the treasurer having some difficulty in keeping track of the club funds. Dave claims it’s harsh… tough!

 

12/06/06

NOTW #13: Mr. Daniel Biddlecombe

REASON: After much deliberation this week, the powers that be elected Biddy for NOTW after missing a sitter and then, instead of chasing in for the follow-up, he buried his head in his hands and did his best impression of a dying swan! Poor Biddy, he had a heavy weekend…

 

06/06/06

NOTW #12: Mr. Thomas O’Sullivan & Mr. Neville Poole

REASON: Two nominees this week, for getting it wrong in the World Cup Fantasy Football auction. Aaron Lennon - $3M or $3.5M??? Personally, I think I was right, but I’d have got NOTW for missing a sitter anyway so I’ll take it on the chin. Four way tie for NEVILLE OF THE SEASON now… nail biting stuff!

 

29/05/06

NOTW #11: Mr. Olly Meadows

REASON: For missing an absolute sitter for his hat-trick. How impressive it would have been to come off the bench and net three goals! With 8 people now tied on a vote-a-piece, and Gus and Theftie on 2 each, NEVILLE OF THE SEASON is anybodies guess!!!

 

22/05/06

NOTW #10: Mr. Thomas O'Sullivan

REASON: On the bench for our mid-season friendly – called to say he wasn’t going to be showing up due to illness, but having had too much beer is not an acceptable reason to the manager. Inaugural NOTW, Neville Poole, apparently was a close contender but not present to defend himself, it goes to Tom. Harsh really!

 

15/05/06

NOTW #9: Mr. Tim Eddison

REASON: Tim; the manager, fixture-aficionado, the man we rely on for everything we need to know about our upcoming games… calls up Sociables to find out what colour strip they are wearing for our first round Cup match… why all the confusion??? Because we were playing City Socialists! That’s $10 towards the end of season jaunt.

 

08/05/06

NOTW #8: Mr. Alexander Bell

REASON: Alex will feel hard done by here; some careless play in the box allowed a Boca player the opportunity to cross resulting in a header that was only kept out by the crossbar. Some reckon it was an attempted back heel, he reckons it wasn’t. Either way, he’s NOTW!

 

01/05/06

NOTW #7: Mr. Angus Welton

REASON: For missing an absolute sitter, blazing wide from about half a yard out, and then trying to pass himself off as Neville. Tut tut! This sees Gussy joint leader with Theftie for NEVILLE OF THE SEASON, but it’s early days yet…

 

24/04/06

NOTW #6: Mr. Matt Jenkins

REASON: Matt gets the nod this week for conceding O’Carrolls first goal in Division 4. He was rather unfortunate having gone the wrong way, but hey, tough. Take some consolation in the fact that Richie has more nominations than you.

 

18/04/06

NOTW #5: Mr. Richie O’Neill

REASON: As promised, in the absence of an obvious NOTW (no game this Easter weekend), the award goes to Richie for his part in the kit fiasco. So Theftie leads the pack for NEV OF THE SEASON… (Table below)

 

10/04/06

NOTW #4: Mr. Max Flanigan

REASON: Not only did Max turn up late (very, very late), but he turned up at the wrong pitch. He never made it to the match in the end, and still hasn’t been seen. Let’s hope he found his way home…

 

03/04/06

NOTW #3: Mr. Angus Welton

REASON: For the misdemeanour of getting megged. First of the season, and not the man you’d have expected it to happen to. Congratulations Gus!

 

30/03/06

NOTW #2½: Mr. Richie O’Neill

REASON: We’re going to get mileage out of this one… ‘losing’ the kit for two months! Categorically, and sometimes aggressively, denying he brought it to the launderette, making wild accusations as to where it got to, not bothering to check the launderette despite pleas from the entire squad to do so, all the while where was the kit? In the launderette! Well, at least we got a brand new Milan-style kit out of it.

 

27/03/06

NOTW #2: Mr. Paul Gibbons

REASON: Not quite very late it now seems (20 minutes after KO) and not quite with it when he arrived!!!! (According to my sources)

 

20/03/06

NOTW #1: It’s quite fitting that the inaugural award goes to none other than Neville Poole himself…

REASON: Failure to turn up for a game without informing anybody of his decision, switching his phone off so we couldn’t contact him and then using sick children as an excuse the following day, all while he was in fact hanging out with his new girlfriend. Shame on you. By the way, he also missed a penalty a few weeks ago against Headless Chooks in 6-A-Side.

 

Here’s what a few of the team had to say about the matter:      

 

Angus Welton –

“Missing the game for your GIRLFRIEND - we know who wears the trousers in that relationship, would have been nice to know you weren't coming though. Cheers BUD!!!!!”

 

Tim Eddison –

“More like Redchenko, or Winechenko, or even Didn’tmovealldaychenko”

 

Paul Tancell –

“There's only one thing you raised yesterday, and it wasn't your lazy arse out of bed!!! I hope she was worth it Neville, you let us all down.”

 

Richie O’Neill -

“At 2.59pm Neville Poole's name was on the team sheet, and as stand-in manager I informed the players and substitutes that Mr Poole would not let us down. I was wrong. His non-show prompted a panicked reshuffle, resulting in a poor start and subsequent 1-0 deficit. Strength and character saw us through... both qualities missing from Neville’s reflection when he looked in the mirror this morning. At 7pm and having not received a return call from the numerous people enquiring as to his well being, we began to ring the hospitals and clinics of Auckland City... but no news... Why? Because he was on his couch at home, and just not bothered to contact those near and dear to him... There's no ‘ I ’ in team Nev.”

 

Stuart Dye –

“I had just about got used to the fact that Phil Nevcroucho was happy to drop a metaphorical steamy turn on his mates in favour of a hanging out the back of some tart. I had even come to terms with the fact that he held OC’s in such contempt that he couldn't even be arsed to text a brief pre-match apology. Then, the sucker punch… Nevcroucho was actually alone on Sunday. The slit he brought home on Saturday night left to meet friends for breakfast and some other friends to go the festival at Grey Lynn. Apparently she was hungover and didn't want to go, but didn't want to let her friends down… Nev, you've let your team down, you've let the fans down, but worst of all, you've let yourself down.”

“Can I also add that I have used the word "tart" to emphasise a point and in no way is that reflective of the delightful personality of the lovely girl unfortunate enough to be involved in the whole affair...”

 

Keith Bundy –

“I'm too upset regarding the whole affair to make much of a comment. I thought we were a close-knit team and good friends. The fact that all it takes to forget that is the flicker of some lashes and a the promise of a glimpse of thigh is very saddening to me.”

 

Thomas O’Sullivan –

“Don’t really need to say much more do I? Does Red Star know you’re this disloyal?”

 

NOTW Leaderboard
Neville	4
Gus	3
Richie	3
Alex	2
Matt	2
Tim	2
Tom	2
Barry	1
Biddy	1
Dave W	1
Gibbo	1
Max	1
Olly	1
Stu	1
Woody	1