There was one old gentleman in the group who had lived and endured for four score and eight years. He had outlived two wives, one of his children, and if the handsome god Adonis lived to be as old as Mel Weeks, they would probably look like twins. Mel was as desirable to women at eighty eight as he was at twenty. His teeth, all his own, were straight and sparkling, his blue eyes still had a devilish twinkle, and his snow white wavy hair was almost into the realm of curly, He owned a car but usually walked to, and back from, his lobster boat, church, grocery shopping, or any close place that required him to be somewhere else. He was sitting reminiscing about days long past, one night when Doctor Williams was away on a convention, and almost glassy eyed he asked, �I haven�t told you gents much about my early years have I?�

   Every knife in the room stopped whittling, every eye turned to Mel, and every head swiveled from left to right.

�I was a hellion and have been most of my life. I found out at an early age that anything that was good for me was not what I wanted. I started smoking a pipe when I was so young I could hardly hold it with both hands. If I had a penny for every cigarette and cigar I have smoked I�d be richer than Doctor Williams. I have consumed my share of home brew and bathtub gin and for awhile I even tried moonshine. I�ve stayed up for nights on end chasing women, until a couple of them caught me, and when they passed away I started chasing women all over again. When I was seventy the worse thing happened. I was feeling awful bad so I went to see Doctor Williams for a thorough checkup. He gave me every test possible and after the week had passed he called me back to his office.

   �Mel,� he said, �You�re a sick man and you�re going to die. I wouldn�t be the least bit surprised if it didn�t happened within the next two months.�

   What�s wrong with me?� I queried of the good doctor.

�About everything possible,� he answered with a face so serious it nearly scared my pants off. �You have fat where you should have muscle and your liver is the worse I have ever seen. Your lungs should be a pretty pink and they�re the most disgusting shade of green imaginable; caused by the nicotine you�ve inhaled. Your body is worn out from chasing women and if you don�t get some sleep pretty soon you�ll go to sleep permanently.�

   �I�ll tell you the truth; he almost scared me to death right there on the spot, so I took his advice. I gave up women, liquor, and tobacco that very moment.�

   Everyone sighed a big OH! and Mel went on with his story.

   �I only live ten minutes from the doctor�s house and as I was walking back home my whole life flashed before. All the women I have chased and caught, the few I chased and missed, the hours I spent dancing and drinking and staying out all night, and I even thought about some of the cigarettes I enjoyed in the morning after a nights frivolities.

   As soon as I got home I took off my heavy clothes and sat down to do some serious meditating. I sat there for thirty minutes thinking about all the sins I have committed and all the bad things I have done. Then I got a beer from the icebox, sat on my sofa, and lit my pipe.�

   Again everyone said, �Oh!�

   �I�ll tell you what�s the truth,� he continued. �that thirty or so minutes I was without booze, women, or tobacco was the worst thirty minutes I have ever lived.�