Tim Edwards and his wife had been married for fifteen years and it was very obvious to everyone the he was the most hen-pecked male in all of Maine. Yet Mr. Edwards was one of the happiest people I have ever seen. He was a mechanic on all the equipment that took the sardines from the sardine boats, through the cannery, and to the shipping dock. He had a steady income and seemed to love his wife and two kids with all his heart.

It was hard to accurately appraise Mr. Edwards financial standing in the community. He had far too much money to be classified as poor but he didn�t have quite enough money to be called rich. One thing he had that put him in a class all by himself was his two holer outhouse. He had the only HEATED two holer in South Lubec, Lubec, and towns for miles around. His two holer was bested only by the three holer owned by the town hall down in some town I can�t recall the name of right now. Amy was so pleased with the two holer she cut the Sears and Roebuck catalog pages down to usable size and had a sufficient supply on hand. She even bought a roll of toilet paper in case special company dropped in on her; she wanted to be prepared for all emergencies.

   One evening while we were at the store Mr. Tim Edwards came in and sat down for awhile. He wasn�t one of the regulars because his wife Amy wouldn�t allow him to be part of what she called �that rowdy crowd at the country store�.�

   �Out late tonight ain�t ya, Tim?� someone asked.

   In his happy, smiling, way he answered, �Aayah, sure am.�

   �Did Amy give her permission or did ya just sneak out?� someone else asked.

   �Neither one,�Mr. Edwards replied. �This morning Amy and the kids took the bus down to Portland for a few days and I thought I�d come out tonight and see what�s going on.�

   I have never stated that I was very bright, only that I was very young, so I asked the question everyone was thinking about.

   �How come you�re so hen-pecked, Mr. Edwards?�

   There were a few gasps in the room and for a minute I thought my grandfather would walk over to me, grab me by the scuff of the neck, and throw me out doors into the snow.

   Mr. Edwards laughed the longest, loudest, laugh I have ever heard and when he finished with his guffaw he asked, �Why do think I�m hen-pecked? Don�t you know I�m master in my house? My goodness, I�m practically a king.

   �Doesn�t Amy boss you around just a little bit?� Clarence asked.

   �Nope, of course not,� Mr. Edwards answered still smiling. �You all know I�m a big hearted person so I let Amy do the things that please her. I put her in charge of all the small decisions that have to be made around the house, but I don�t allow her to run my life. She said she wanted two kids so I went along with that because it made her and me both happy.�

   �Ain�t you a Baptist and her a Catholic?� Mr. Gray  continued with his acquisition.

   �Aayah. Even though I�m a Protestant and she�s a Catholic I let her raise the kids the way she likes because it makes her and the kids happy.�

   �And don�t she buy all the groceries and cook all the meals?� Mr. Gray continued. �Yup, I allow her to do those things as well. She�s a fantastic cook and always cooks the things I like.�

   �Don�t she handle all the money and pay all the bills?� Mr. Gray asked.

   �Of course she does. She�s pretty good with math so I let her handle our bank account and sign the checks. I let her handle ALL the small stuff.�

�I understand she picked out that old jalopy you drive,� Mr. Gray said smiling slightly more than necessary. �Aayah, that she did,� Mr. Edwards said feeling great pride in his wife�s choice.

   Now Mr. Gray got serious for a moment. �Ain�t it true you wanted to build a new house for her when you first got hitched but she wouldn�t hear of it and made you live with her pa and ma for almost three years?�

   �Almost as true as can be,� Mr. Edwards agreed. �She wanted me and her parents to get better aquatinted, and after real careful consideration I found her suggestion to make sense.�

   �Don�t she pick out where and when you go on vacations?� Mr. Gray asked although he knew what the answer would be.

   �Of course I allow her to do that,� Mr. Edwards said once more showing a smile bigger than Alice�s Cheshire cat, �and I also let her select the restaurants we go to. Like I said before, I let her handle all the small things, I don�t have time for them. But remember I�m the boss in my house and I make every major decisions that has to be made. You know, the real important things in life. I even tell Amy how to vote and...�

   �How can you tell how she votes when all votes are secret?� someone broke in.

   �Oh! she does like I tell her,� Mr. Edwards said never doubting for a moment how her vote went.

   �What other great decisions do you make?� some one else asked.

   �I decide when I�ll wash and dry the dishes, when I�ll scrub the floors, when I�ll make the beds, when I�ll mow the lawn, when I�ll milk the cow, and every other major decision that it takes to make a house run efficiently. I decide every important thing we do and I leave the simple things to Amy. I always have the last word around my house,� Mr. Edwards boasted.

   �Unless I�m awfully mistaken you have the last two words around your house.� Doctor Williams said with a sly grin.

   �And just what do you think those two words would be?� Mister Edwards asked.
   To which Doctor Williams replied, �Yes, Dear."