Ian Wilson - Guitar, Vocals
When not watching Sex Tips for Girls series 1 and 2 (series 3 is crap) ian also enjoys playing the guitar. Weighing in at the average weight of a three year old toddler and coming from New Earswick, life has not been kind to this individual. Ian sings like a girl and that bloke from Muse, only not as good, and that's because he hasn't started puberty yet. Ian's claim to fame came when he was voted the "Sexiest Boy" at New Earswick Primary School Christmas disco two years running from 1994 to 1995. He's one for the girls as well, so ladies - why don't you give him a quick e-mail?
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Lewis Porylo - Bass
Here is a boy with unrivalled skill and charisma on the bass guitar. So much so he claims he knows all of the chords. Therapy, the art, not the band, has not helped him overcome his want for female breasts of his own. Ask him nicely and he will let you feel his attempt at his dream. Lewis is by far the most talented member of the band, as well as the most fittest. It's also rumoured he's the only straight member.
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Joss Widdowson - Drums
With the memory capacity of an old MegaDrive, nature has not been kind on Joss either. Joss drums like he doesn't know how to. In a questionnaire about drumming, he commented that his favourite fills were ham and mustard, or tuna and mayonnaise. His favourite 4x4 is the Landrover Discovery, his favourite make of drumsticks are "chicken ones". Joss' parents first noticed he wasn't an ordinary boy when they heard him talking to his loft conversion.
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