24/10/06
ela sez:
Been over a year since I've last updated this and changes since my last update really reflect my adaption to university life.
Firstly, my timetable for this session doesn't suck that much.
Secondly, I've got a job at the uni as part of the student union so I save on transport fees and traveling time because I normally just go to classes after work or before work.
Thirdly, my last job that I quit, gave me a taste of just how crap the workforce can be. I worked as a bar attendant at the Sydney Opera House and despite the glamour associated with the tourist icon, the working conditions and pay there sucks.
Lastly, a huge change in my life and my future career life is that I'm no longer a Media and Communications student. :(
That's right, I transferred to International Studies now. So hopefully I'll find a job that involved working with China (but not living in China! I like it here down under!)
To address my post a few entries back about fanfiction reviews... I'm also a lot kinder now! Not as sharp tongued! (probably from the training of politics classes)And my beloved Roy x Ed yaoi C2 Community on FF.net named "Blacksmith" has grown to be the 4th largest FMA community on FF.net with over 80 subscribers to date.
My coffee addiction is also worsening as I now work at two cafes at uni where I get to drink free coffee, make coffee, live in a caffine environment 17.5 hours a week. But it's ok right? I mean... I'm sure many of you out there are also fellow coffee addicts! :D
02/03/05
ela sez:
University life is kinda... busy. I would also like to add that my timetable reeks. I have an hour at 10am everyday, then a too-long break till psychology at 6pm. Kendo goes from 7-9pm which means I'll be busy on wednesdays...
Nothing much else to say...
11pm update: Wallet and mobile phone were stolen in university today. Sucks.
20/02/05
ela sez:
Amanda's suggesting that I be a critic in the future. why? because I "sound like a bitch" and am "so horrible" to the morons on fanfiction.net who pollute a perfectly decent fandom with their ego and nonexistent writing skills.
I actually enjoyed myself horribly. I'll copy/paste a few extracts from a few of my fond reviews so you can all have fun with me or kill me and lable me a bitch. I go by Vanilla Topping there.
Vanilla Topping 2005-02-18 ch 1, signed
Forcing reviews out of people with "I won't write if you don't review" is one of the lowest acts a fanfiction writer can commit. You're one of those individuals who write only to hear others praise you for what you think is a brilliant and amazing story. WRONG.
It's ok to have some ambiguity at the start of a story to keep the readers interested but for this story it's just plain confusing.
You wrote:
She crept up to the door and wrapped her paws around the knob. She slipped inside and padded over to the fire.
�Well you�re out late,� a calm voice said from behind an Edgar Allen Poe book.
Ok, so you like Edgar Allen Poe books. Fine. But from what I gather, this girl has just escaped from a building/house. So why is this 'Fuhrer' standing from what I can tell, the middle of nowhere with this book?
You wrote:
�All right, fine. The truth? There is an illegal alchemist running around misusing alchemy. I sent a letter to the state informing them about it. I�ll have to lay low for a while. I don�t know if I want to go back, but if I do, I have to stay. They�ll make me, and we both know it.�
I see that was the plot you mentioned in your summary. That line is just plain blunt and in-your-face. Maybe if it was Edward I'd have forgiven you since that's what his personality is like. So far all I can see is a female chimera with a wonderful combination of animal abilities who is out to save the Fullmetal Alchemist world. She has the Fuhrer as a friend to back her up and she's fearless.
Sorry to burst your bubble but she's a up-coming Mary Sue.
You wrote:
By the way, I will put a ramdom, stupid quote at the bottom of each chapter, and you can flame me if I forget it. Here it is.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
Why would any intelligent person flame you for that? 'Flame' you to remind you to put in a little sentence that you thought was smart-sounding? Sometimes authors will add one in as the title or their chapter or at the end of their chapter just as a fond thing to share. But here you're using it as though 'I like it so you should all love it'.
I think you're the one who should learn from this and burn off a bit of that huge ego of yours.
Cheers,
Vanilla
Link if interested: http://www.fanfiction.net/r/2268827/0/1/
Vanilla Topping
2005-02-18
ch 1, signed
I enjoyed this start very much. It's an original idea that delves into a side of Envy that we don't get to meet but is very likely to be there. The pacing of your story is smooth, not too rushed or too dragged out.
I couldn't really see anything to point out except that when you wrote:
'The whiskey settled over the ice, seconds later the glass was back to his lips.'
Maybe an "and" between the two halves of the sentence would have made reading it more easy. There's a lot of interesting ideas in your head but you need to be a bit more careful that when you lay them onto paper (or in this case, a word program) you go slow and detailed enough for the reader to keep up with your imagination.
I hope I'm not confusing you... Keep writing! This is a wonderful fic with great potential. Don't be discouraged if the Envy/Ed, Yaoi fangirls, Edward-obsessed fans don't appreciate this fic, I think you've got wonderful talent and guts to break away from the 'trend' of fanfiction.
Keep it up! I'll be reading!
-Vanilla
Link if interested: http://www.fanfiction.net/r/2268705/0/1/
Vanilla Topping
2005-02-18
ch 30, signed
You make me puke and this sentence just finally topped it off. You wrote:
'lighter in hand as hetried to lighta cigarette, until too late.'
It isnt' that hard to but a space between "he and "tried" or "light" and "a". Don't give me bullshit about typos or 'I was in a hurry'. Run a 5 second spellcheck if you can't check yourself.
HOWEVER, I will give respect to the fact that you're an author who listens to critical comments and strives to improve. I noticed that you dropped your stupid fangirl Jap and your sentence structure has greatly improved. So cheers for being an author willing to improve and HAS improved. Keep up the good work and I'll bet your next fanfiction will be much better than this one.
All authors go through a learning process. The better ones actually listen, the self-obsessed ones think they're above the others and think they're amazing by talking to themselves or the characters in their stories, adding their comments into the stories at random intervals, putting grammatically incorrect Japanese into their stories simply because they think after watching anime they know Jap.
-Vanilla
Link if interested: http://www.fanfiction.net/r/2221811/0/1/
Vanilla Topping
2005-02-18
ch 2, signed
Oh my God. This story is so crap that it's actually funny. So far all I can see is that you've taken Edward and Al, shoved them into Harry Potter's world, taken huge chunks out of the original novel (Which I'm starting to doubt you've actually read. I believe you've only watched the movie from what I can tell) and TADA! You think you have your own fanfiction.
You wrote:
'"Bloody hell! Your Harry Potter! Can I see your scar" Ron asked/exclaimed.
"Ok." Harry said as he lifted up his hair.'
I don't know where to start commenting. I think you meant, "Bloody hell! You're Harry Potter!"
'Your' is used to indicate belonging.
'You're' is used to shorten 'You' and 'are'.
So if you're saying "Bloody hell! YOU ARE Harry Potter" in Ron's voice, use "you're" rather than "your".
Advice number 2: Try using ADJECTIVES, ya know? Those words used to DESCRIBE something. You have the spelling abilities of a 12 year old, the vocabulary of a 10 year old, and the writing skills of a 6 year old. This reminds me of my old 'Miffy Goes To School' book. I remember it was something like this:
Miffy got up.
Miffy got dressed.
Miffy's mother said, "Breakfast is ready!"
Miffy said, "OK!"
Miffy ate.
Miffy went to school.
Miffy had great fun!
Get what I'm trying to say? I won't even bother reading any further, I can guess what's gonna happen. Al and Ed will be really smart and think transfiguration is amazing! They'll become friends with Ron and Harry, later with Hermione too.
Ed and Al will feel something like this: "So much like alchemy but...like... it's not... like, you know? It's like... totally amazing and all that!"
Then Ron and Harry will say in unison "Alchemy is amazing!"
The story will progress and Ed will kick Voldemort's ugly butt.
The end.
Keep writing! I'll read it for the laugh.
-Vanilla
Link if interested:http://www.fanfiction.net/r/2255257/0/1/
11/02/05
ela sez:
anyway... erm... so i nearly had a heart attack yesterday about uni...
i missed the enrolment day.
haha..ha..h...................... -_- omg nearly died.
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