Quotes from Joel:

"What do we have today, splinter removal, an M&M stuck up some kids nose"   (4.1)  

"Here I am, I am shanghaied, I am pressed into service, a physician in chains, for whom imbeciles like you don't even listen to me. Dolts, simpletons, dullards, who think their name can just as well be stenciled on that window outside as mine." (4.8)  

"I'll write the prescriptions and you take the medicine, is that simple enough, something that pea sized brain of yours can handle." (4.8)  

"What is it? The wind that suddenly makes everyone think they can threaten the town doctor with impunity?" (4.16) 

"I don't don't like it - I hate it! And I demand to leave! ... Well  that is because you are not the one who is supposed to spend the next 4 years of his life in this Godforsaken hole in the wall, pigsty with a bunch of dirty, psychotic rednecks! " (1.01)  

And if I leave? 10,000 dollars or 18 years in jail...AND 18 years in jail?!? (1.1)

After you've been in a place for a while, everything starts to look.. I won't say better, there's no need to go to extremes...but your everyday life does start to become...familiar. (1.5)

I can't wait to get up at the crack of dawn and climb into a flying sardine can with a woman who wishes I'd catch a slow and painful disease so I can do some dirty deed for an old geezer who ignores everything I tell him and then gets annoyed at me because he doesn't get better. I'm just living for that. I don't know how I'll sleep. (1.3)

I don't like people committing suicide. All the ethical considerations aside - it's just plain bad for business. (1.3)

Where's Amnesty International when it comes to Joel Fleischman?!? (1.3)

I've been thinking a lot about what you said and some of it was right on the money. A significant amount. Most of it. Everything except odious - I bathe regularly. (1.3)

The only consequence of all this will be, that whenever I open a nice Bordeaux, there will be the distant, distasteful memory of a nutcase who tried to kill me because I allowed her to kiss me on the cheek under false pretenses. I can live with it. (1.3)

There are four words you need to know to adequately prepare yourself for childbirth. Take notes here, ladies. "I WANT MY EPIDURAL!" (1.7)

I'm with a patient, I see your thigh! I'm driving to work, I want your toes in my mouth! You told me it was going to stop when the ice broke! (2.5)

Rick crawled up on the roof...(2.7)

What are wolverines anyways? Little wolves that swarm all over you and nibble you to death? (3.3)

I have great ears. If there was a tree out there talking, believe me, I would hear it. (3.11)

I am not a child of nature. I am a child of asphalt and toxic fumes. (3.11)

Marilyn is a whole new universe of silence. I mean, we're talking a silence so cold, so relentlessly powerful, it actually sucks all the sounds out of the air. It's like being vibed into a black hole. You're out in space *alone* with this galactic *VORTEX* of disapproval. (3.12)