5/6 - Wrestling legend, Rick "The Nature Boy" Flair visited nWo Softball Inc. offices last week for meetings with upper management. We were able to sit down with this legend for his thoughts on nWo Softball's incredible string of victories and dominating performances over the past 6 years.
(AP) What do you think when you watch nWo Softball's dominance in Woodbridge over the past 6 years?"
(RF) You know what I see? I see a team that is truly at the top of their game. They are without a shadow of a doubt...the best softball team I have ever seen. Hollywood has truly put together a dominating group of guys. They are going to be champions for a long time. And I know something about championships. 15 time...15 TIMES a world champion. I know the hard work and dedication to get to the top of your craft. These guys on nWo Softballl...Sullivan, Pichalski, Gamba, Hollywood, they are all winners and know how to get the job done. Whoooooo!
(AP) What were you doing in nWo Softball corporate offices today?
(RF) I was on my Lear jet on Saturday morning flying home from a house show the previous night in Topeka, Kansas, Hollywood called me up and said, "Naitch, we need you to come to Jersey. I need your experience and guidance on something." So I got my pilot to divert from going to Charlotte, North Carolina, up to Linden Airport. Hollywood had the limo waiting for me. When I got to nWo Softball corporate offices, the guys were there. Hollywood had me teach the whole team how to give chops and do the dance!
(AP) Do the dance?
(RF) Yep. Hollywood wants his guys to do my strut when they hit homeruns. (tears welling up) I was very honored by this. nWo Softball will hold a special place in my heart.
(AP) Wow, that was very nice of them. I have interviewed Hollywood Sorochen before and your name always comes up. He likes to quote you, especially the "To be the man, you have to beat the mam...whooooooooo!"
(RF) Well that is very nice of Jim, er, I mean Hollywood to say. I'm very happy I influenced all of those guys. Just being there talking to Gamba about pitching or Uncle Al about how old we are...it was a lot of fun. I catch a lot of their games on satellite on the road and I am very impressed by their lineup. My god, these guys can score and score at will.
(AP) A little birdie told us that some wrestling went on later that day. Is that true?
(RF) (chuckling to himself) Well you might say a little brouhaha may of occurred.
(AP) This little birdie also told me that it got a little heated. Any comments?
(RF) (turning deadly serious) I was taking some bumps for some of the guys like Carlos and Hollywood, when that little prick Novak tried to figure 4 me from behind. I had to reverse it on him and then chop that little to pieces. He couldn't beat the man that day. Whoooooooo! (doing Flair strut)
(AP) So what's next in the life of the "Nature Boy"?
(RF) Well I am meeting the boys for a few beers at whoooooooooo! CHEEQUES! Whooooooooooo!
(AP) Well Mr. Flair, thanks for spending a few minutes with us and continued success.
(RF) Whooooooooooooooooooooo! Thanks.
4/23 - Even though the weather outside is frightful, team nWo is delighted with their victories and latest conquests, on and off the field. I caught up with manager Jim "Hollywood" Sorochen for a press release regarding some alleged debauchery off the field yesterday.
Rumors of Hollywood hitting a game winning, 3 run, walk off home run early yesterday afternoon were finally confirmed by the famed manager. "It was amazing, the United Fire (UF) team is a great group of guys to play with and many of the nWo members moonlight on that team. The guys in front of me got on base and I hit one over the left field fence...it was...incredible."
The nWo manager explained he was not the only hero as "Ponytail Mike" Peleskey launched one over the center field fence for a solo shot. Jim "Mustang" Ciszewski and Jeff Swanke, also members of the UF team, displayed their cunning on the field making offensive plays worthy of writing home about. Hollywood went on to boast about the team celebrating in the parking lot afterwards to honor such a tremendous victory. The team split up with some going to Teddy's B&G, a co-sponser of their Sunday team, but later met up at Johnny G's. After some debauchery in that friendly establishment the team again split up to Bello's and Sayreville Bar.
"Uh, we heard rumors that one of our team members may have injured themselves although I can't confirm anything just yet," said a concerned Hollywood. "We had a good time last night and are looking forward to beating the shit out of Teddy's team...if anything for Bragging Rights at the bar. We won't let an injury stand in the way. We've got a deep bench and everyone can fill in where and when it's necessary."
Strong words from a strong manager. Hollywood assured us that the team would be 100% ready for the game...and that may be so...but the weather may have something to say about it. It's been raining all day in Woodbridge and untypically cold for April. The forecast for game time tomorrow is partly cloudy and 53. A slow wind out of the northwest may not be enough to dry the fields. We can only hope that the grounds crew can clean the fields in time to have the games.
4/9 - In a startling and emotional fashion, Mike "The Bomber" Gross made a triumphant return to nWo softball last night in Port Reading. "I really missed these guys," said a teary eyed Gross, "I'm just happy they wanted me back."
"We've been in secret negotiations for a couple weeks now banging out a contract for the big guy. I'm very pleased with the outcome," manager Jim "Hollywood" Sorochen said at the game. "All the props go to Uncle Al for making the deal possible."
Uncle Al's response, "I just wanted someone else to drink with on the train ride home, makes it easier to get out of trouble with Mike by your side."
Gross, who stands 6' 4 and 240 pounds is an intimidating addition to the already devastating nWo lineup. Look for him to bat before Mike "Ponytail Mike" Peleskey who "can hit the ball as far or further than the Bomber," Hollywood says. "It's a strategic move, one meant to put the other teams off balance. Ponytail Mike is a deceptively strong hitter, the duo will pack a devastating one-two punch."
Hollywood seems to have it all under control. Unfortunately, nWo softball did not get a chance to put their bats where their mouths have been as opening day was won by forfeit. More on that in the Game Recap.
4/9 - That's how nWo manager, Jim "Hollywood" Sorochen, could be described as in an early morning interview.
As the nWo softball team prepared for its
first game tonight at Boynton Field 2, in Port Reading, I caught up
with the intense manager for a quick talk. He displayed disdain and contempt for anyone in
the league who believed
they had a chance against the superior nWo players, saying he "expected to win" tonight and was "certainly
not worried". Hollywood
scoffed at the notion that Sewaren Deli would be any sort of force in the league this
year saying, "they've had their chances...they're no match for us."Tough talk from a team that hasn't had more than a handful of practices and one pick up game. Not only was Hollywood confident in the team, but sponsor Jim J. Elek was also behind the team. "I've known Jim [Hollywood] since he was knee high to a grasshopper," said Elek, "he displayed the utmost of confidence when he swindled me out of that extra 50 bucks and I know he will lead the team to victory." When asked about the team members themselves Elek had only this to say, "I know a couple of them are weirdoes, but I'm getting up in there in age and I think I may not be in touch too much with the youngsters of today. I'm sure getting tattoos and body piercings are quite acceptable. If anything, some of the players can simply intimidate the other team with their freakish looks."
With merely hours until first pitch the team goes about their daily lives waiting for the beginning of what promises to be a highly egotistical season. Good luck guys...
4/5 - Only days before opening day of the Woodbridge Mens Slo-Pitch Softball League, first baseman, Jim
Ciszewski was caught breaking the rules. It was
a night of binge drinking, smoking, and fast women, witnesses
describe as Ciszewski put on one of his best drinking display consuming multiple bottles
of beer, liquor, and
shots.This photograph was emailed to us here at the nWo-website from a concerned fan known only as 'Mustanglover492'. She was very distraught, worried that her favorite player, Ciszewski, would not be ready for opening day. After tracking the famed infielder down he had only this to say, "No, I don't need rehab - I was just having a little fun. I'll be ready for Tuesday. Shit, I've drank a hell of a lot more than that and made it to games on Sunday mornings."
When I reminded him that he did not always perform so well after a night of binge drinking, Mr. Ciszewski replied with, "What? I gave up smoking."
Witnesses say Ciszewski was the life of the party singing loudly, dancing on tables and pulling up women's shirts. He was also heard shouting expletives directed at the teams archenemies, Sewaren Deli.
"It was horrible, the things coming out of his mouth...he kisses his mother with that mouth?" One shocked party attender commented.
"I have to say I'm disappointed with Jim. At least he could have gotten into a fight...kind of like at Ozzfest last year. Nothing is more intimidating than standing on first, all big like he is, with a fat black eye. Makes him look tough," teammate Jeff Swanke commented.
"Those assholes don't know what they're talking about. It was all good, clean fun. He'll show up Tuesday, he always does," closest friend and outfielder Mike Sorochen replied when asked of his best friend's debauchery.
Manager Jim "Hollywood" Sorochen could not be reached for comment but sources inside the nWo team report he wasn't to pleased with Ciszewski's performance and that had a hardcore match broken out...it might have been more impressive.
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