Death? Well, I believe that my disembodied spirit will ascend upwards into the clouds where I will find a house with many mansions. The streets there will be paved with gold. I will see pearlescent gates and there will be the disembodied spirit of a dead Jew named Peter who will open a large book called The Lamb's Book of Life and look for my name, which he will find because I went in front of the church and accepted Jesus Christ as my savior circa 1982, when I was five years old.
I renounced religion when I was old enough to understand it, but because I was born again when I was five years old, I have gained admission to this house with many mansions. How I acted on earth will determine my status, whether I am treated like royalty or am a street sweeper. My life will be replayed for all present to watch and judge. I still can't enter the mansion, though, until Big Daddy decides it's time for the rapture.
I will be handed a crown and the number of jewels in my crown will represent the number of tickets I sold on earth to the mansion in the sky. Then I will wait until the Big Guy decides it's finally time for the rapture, and at that time I (and everyone on earth) will hear a great blast of trumpets. Rocks will start glorifying the name of a Jew sentenced to death about thirty-three years after the calendars changed. A prostitute will ride around on a seven-headed beast, and her name will be Babylon, Mother of Whores and Abominations.
After the trumpets go off, the prophets will be the first ones in line to get into the mansion. They will be followed by those who are already dead who were saved (me! me!) and finally by the living who have accepted the dead Jew as their savior who were called up after the trumpets blare.
Many athiests will legally gain access to free abandoned cars due to the kindly nature of Christian bumper stickers.
I may or may not see all of the pets I owned over the course of my lifetime, including all goldfish, gerbils, runaway laborador retrievers, and the cat my bastard ex-boyfriend let loose after I left him.
For entertainment, I will get to watch a 1,000 year long battle on earth wherein mankind, after watching this great recall of souls, gets one millenium, no more, no less, to figure it out and either believe (a tough one, since faith defies proof and the rapture of one specific religious group exactly according to their book's specifications would qualify as proof to me...) or stubbornly refuse to believe anyways.
Then I'd get to see people who never cared enough to believe in the supernatural powers of the dead Jew, like the vast majority of people in places God never liked like China, India, Africa, and the social science professorship of most American universities, be cast into a lake of Fire where they will burn without being consumed for the rest of eternity.
I kind of wonder what the sociological structure of this mansion in the clouds will be. I know the marriage vows say "Till death do you part" and I know a few widows who have remarried. I'd like to know who they get to bunk with in heaven, hubby #1 or hubby #2. I'm pretty sure the rules say they can't have both, but the rules said remarriage was okay, and if it weren't for that heathen Tom Robbins I'd never have thought of this potentially awkward situation up in paradise.
Anyhow, this is EXACTLY what my church told me it would be like and so I'm sure I'll get to experience all the joys of watching my Jewish husband and his family burn in hell because I didn't care enough to convince them that an all-loving Messiah would fry them for eternity for using the intelligence and sense of compassion bestowed upon them by His Heavenly Father. But it's okay, the Jews who went through Hell on earth with Hitler will get to experience Hell in Hell, too, all because they never believed in the right Messiah.
Ahhh...the simplicity of having a good explaination.
PS...Where are all the virgins?
Streets paved with gold/Pearly Gates Rev. 21:21
House with mansions John 14:2
Lamb's Book of Life Rev. 13:8
Acceptance of Jesus Christ Acts 16:31
Status in Heaven Matthew 5:19
Revelation of sins 1 Cor. 4:5
Order of admission into heaven, the sound of the trumpet 1 thess. 4:15-17
Jewels in the crown Zechariah 9:16
Prostitute on the beast Rev. 17
1000 year battle...apparently, I was confused on this one..it's actually
1000 years of Christ's reign, followed by Satan being released from
prison and going to war with Gog and Magog. Then comes the lake of Fire
stuff. Rev. 20:1-10
Rev. 20:11-15 those not in the Lamb's book are cast into the lake of Fire.