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To all my family and friends who knew Earl:
First, I want to apologize for not being able to attend Earl�s memorial in person. I�m living in Japan now and my wife and I wanted so badly to fly over to pay our respects but the shortness of time and availability of flight seating made that impossible. Please let me share a short story about how Earl impacted my life in such a huge and positive way. Saying, �thank you� just doesn�t seem like it�s enough.
When I was in 7th grade, my mom & dad were in the midst of divorce. I was at gymnastics practice one day on Old Shakopee and 102nd street when mom came and picked me up and said, �how would you like to go to a place where there are 4 cats and a stack of video games this high?�, as she held out her arms vertically to show me how big the stack of games would be. Something in her voice made her glow when she told me and I could tell that, if nothing else, it would be a fun place. Actually, I didn�t care about the video games but I was not about to give up playing with 4 cats for the afternoon!
There I met Earl for the first time. Even as a 7th grader, who, at that age, is prone to dislike just about anything, especially their mother�s new �boyfriend�, things somehow naturally progressed to the positive. Even though I was still just a kid, he was always frank and open and took time to explain to me all sorts of things that makes kids think. Actually, he is so intelligent that I often wondered why he even took the time to talk to anyone because I�m sure we could not provide the same intellectual stimulation to him that he gave to us. But that is his nature. It wasn�t long before I was talking to my friends and siblings about �Earl�, who had great war stories, a wall of computers and, of course, don�t forget the 4 cats!
Just before graduating 8th grade from Olson Jr. High, I was told that I had to take 2 years of a foreign language next year when I got to Jefferson. I was handed a bubble sheet paper in Social Studies class and told to fill it out by the next day. By that time, everyone knew that mom and Earl were �something� and Earl was practically living with us at the Edgewood house.
I went home discouraged though because I didn�t want to study Spanish, French, German, Russian or Latin. God no! They all seemed like a waste of time. But over a casual dinner with mom and Earl (who was by that time dubbed �The Big Guy� by myself and a friend), I remember asking, �Which language should I choose because I gotta choose one!� TBG looked down for a moment and said in that deep voice that he had, �well, you know, if they have it, you should really choose Japanese.� He then went on to explain how the Japanese language has �this and that� and how the history is �something something� and how it�s the most difficult language for Westerners to learn but people who could speak Japanese were �really something else!�
It was quite difficult to understand as a kid. But for me, that was it. That was all I needed. It was like he gave me the road map on how to become a Jedi Knight. It was the seed that I needed to become �something else!�
Jefferson actually offered a Japanese class for the first time when I was a freshman because there was a teacher who offered to teach it. After hearing TBG�s advice, and after about a minute of thought, I decided, �ok, that�s my route!� And I was happy to be doing something that was new and different and when I told my friends that I was studying Japanese, they would say, �wow!� I thought, �I�m gonna take this and run with it and be �something else�.�
I took Japanese for 4 years in High School and then at the U of M. Eventually, I got tired of the cold winters and said to myself, �Forget this! It�s time to stop polishing my ax and time I go out and cut some wood!� So I precariously set my eyes on the most prestigious university in Tokyo that I could find. The UofM had an exchange program with that university but it turns out in the end that they only accepted losers so they politely said �no thank you� to me (hehe). I thought, �I guess I gotta do this all on my own then.� I did some research and found a place in Osaka. Turns out I got accepted.
About a week before leaving, TBG and mom got into an argument about, �why are we sending this kid to Japan when he doesn�t even know Japan�s history?! There is still so much that he should know before we send him off jumping into another culture!� Mom backed me up though because I guess she thought I was really serious and my plane tickets were already purchased. But he didn�t budge. I replied to him, �well, I live in America and I don�t know the history of this country either so what?� But, as you can imagine, that isn�t the correct response to give in front of TBG.
Still, I left and came back a year later totally changed.
Earl impacted my life by �planting a seed.� That is such a precious thing that can be taken away with only a hint of negativity or stolen away with the thought of laziness or procrastination. I�ve been lazy, and God knows I�ve procrastinated, but with his words, Earl planted that seed so deeply inside of me that all it needed was some time for the seedling to break through and affect the direction of my life.
There are good and bad choices in life. Then there are big choices and small choices. Above those, there are the �seeds� that influence how we choose to live our lives. I understand that we are responsible for the conditions of our own lives, but TBG was such a big inspiration in my life that I can not now look back and imagine how life would have been if he were not there. What would I be doing? Where would I be living? Surely it would not be where I live right now.
I now live in Japan. I have a beautiful wife and a new home. I have just about every thing that I longed for when the �seed� was first planted in me 18 years ago.
Earl is a father to many. To me, he is a father and a role model. Earl made such an impact on my life that words can�t express how I feel. �Thank you� just doesn�t seem like it�s enough because I was given more from him than I feel I could ever give back to him.
But if there was one last thing that I could say to Earl now, I guess it would be, �Thank you for being a guide, a father and a great inspiration to me. Thank you for helping me so many times along the way. And thank you for giving me the seed to become �something else�.�
I love you all
Mike
By : Jean Mchichi (Earl's eldest daughter)
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My Dad, Earl Benser, generous, kind, patient, loving, honest, moral, brave, strong and oh so intelligent. He had a beautiful mind. He was so amazing in lots of ways, so many ways.... But, imagine any question you had being easily answered by your father at any time, sitting at the dinner table, shopping at the grocery store, or a cross-country road trip. As a child, I might ask, "Why is the grass green?". The answer and ensuing discussion about photosynthesis and the workings of chlorophyll kept me enthralled. Why did some trees shed their leaves in the fall and some keep their needles? Further discussion of the of the evolutionary benefit of each approach. One question about plant biology
would ultimately end up with a discussion about life forms on other planets or how whales once walked the earth and we could spend hours doing it. You never knew where the conversation would take you, and the journey only made sense once you got to the end. This was a daily or weekly occurrence with my dad. Any question you had, he had the time,he had the answer and he was typically right. As I grew up, the questions grew more complicated, but he still had the answers and was ready for the discussion. Before the internet, before computers, it was all in his beautiful mind. He loved to learn, he loved to teach, he loved to share his knowledge and listen to your thoughts.
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