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In the Corner of the Closet:
Crossdressers in Modern Society |
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We found this article while surfing the Net, and found it so interesting that we wanted to share it with you. We don�t want to infringe on anyone�s copyright, so if the author will contact us, we will give proper credit for a very good article.
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My ex-boyfriend "Dave" lives in a nondescript apartment complex in what could be called Anytown, USA. He works at a very average job making a decent salary, not nearly enough to be considered rich, but enough to afford a few extras every now and then. A talented composer and musician, a large portion of his spare time is devoted to the pursuit of his art. There's nothing strikingly bizarre about his outward appearances; in fact, he's often told he resembles a popular Hollywood actor. However, Dave has a secret, a deeply personal side to his life and personality that remains hidden to all but a few who know him. Even within himself, the secret is constantly being buried, then unearthed, then reburied only to be continuously dug up again like a corpse that just won't stay dead.
Dave isn't a transsexual. He's not even gay or bisexual. He is a crossdresser, one who dons clothing specific to the opposite sex.
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Another Corner of the Closet
It is estimated that anywhere from 1% to 5% of the adult male population engages in crossdressing. While there are many theories related to neo-natal development, upbringing, and even genetics, the exact cause of crossdressing remains a mystery. What anthropologists do know is that crossdressing appears to have existed throughout all of human history, in all known cultures. In many traditional Native American tribes, crossdressers were not only accepted but also revered as shamans and healers. |
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When most people in modern society think of crossdressers, the image of female impersonators or "drag queens" comes to mind. These gay and bisexual men don female attire for entertainment purposes or to attract dates. However, the vast majority of crossdressers are heterosexual. Furthermore, unlike transsexual women, crossdressers are comfortable in their masculinity and have no desire to alter their bodies through chemicals or surgery. |
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While many crossdressers pride themselves on their ability to pass, only a tiny portion wish to dress or live as females full-time. Instead, the crossdressing man sees his desire to dress and adopt feminine behaviors as a manifestation of the feminine side of his personality, an expression of the "woman within." "I dress in women�s clothing because I love women so much," Dave explains. "I love them so much that I want to be like them." |
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Crossdressers--much like bisexual men and women--are often ostracized not only by the straight community, but also by gays and transsexuals. Many times, the straight community calls a crossdressing man gay, the gay community calls him a gay man who refuses to admit his sexual orientation, and the transsexual community calls him a transsexual woman who refuses to own up to his gender orientation. Crossdressers occupy a special corner of the closet, one that is arguably the most dimly lit, the least understood. |
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The frequency and degree of crossdressing varies widely from person to person. Some men wear only women's lingerie, sometimes only the panties. Others wear female outer clothing as well: dresses, skirts, etc. Some crossdressers will deck themselves out in full female regalia, complete with jewelry, make-up, wig, shaved legs, even prosthetic breast forms. They will also adopt feminine behaviors, learning how to walk and talk like women. Many if not most crossdressers name their feminine alter egos and prefer to be addressed by this name and with feminine pronouns while dressed ("en femme"). Dave is no different in this respect, and for purposes of this article I will refer to his feminine alter ego as "Debbie." |
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Debbie
I'd known my then-boyfriend for over a year and a half before I met Debbie. Sadly, the introduction was not a pleasant one. It was only recently that Dave had first spoken of dressing, and I'd never actually seen him don women's clothing. At the time I considered myself very socially liberal, but I knew nothing about gender issues and was hoping that this was simply another phase he was going through (Dave had always been very experimental sexually). |
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On one night in particular, Dave called and invited me over for dinner, instructing me to pick up a take-out order at a restaurant that was on the way to his home. Suspecting nothing, I arrived carrying a bag of food and looking forward to a pleasant evening. But then Debbie answered the door and for the first time in my life, I stood face-to-face with a crossdresser en femme. In full regalia. Make-up, wig, everything. |
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I felt about a million different emotions cascade over me at once. The most prevalent was fear, followed by disbelief, confusion, and anger. Debbie proceeded to speak in a falsetto and I followed her into the apartment, still in a state of shock. Even now the memory of this is very dream-like to me, as if I were simultaneously spectator and participant, watching the scene unfold even as I went through its motions. I do remember saying that the "joke" was over and that Dave could now take off his female garb, and being told "I'm not Dave. I'm Debbie." After only a few minutes, I bolted, not even taking the food with me or waiting to be reimbursed for it. I just wanted to get out of there. |
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Dave and I are friends now, our intimate relationship long since over, and in the interim I moved to the opposite end of the continent AND gained a much greater understanding of gender issues. Recently he asked me to explain what it was I was feeling on that night, why it was that I turned tail and ran. I can articulate it very clearly: I didn't balk so much because of him than because of me, namely my fears about his sexual orientation and my own. Two thoughts were prominent in my head on that long-ago night, the first being that he was gay, the second that if I stayed with him, it would make me a lesbian. |
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Now why would I think these things? Why would I link sexual orientation to CLOTHING? If a guy wears a dress, he MUST BE GAY. Does that mean that wearing jeans makes me a lesbian? If a woman dates a crossdresser, she MUST BE A LESBIAN. Does that mean my love for the casual comfort a pair of jeans gives me makes my current boyfriend gay? |
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To continue this article, click HERE. |
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