I woke up the next morning to see Sara wasn't there. I sat up and looked around. "Oh my God, I think I was used for sex." I smiled. "Hey, I was used for sex." The phone rang and I reached over to answer. "Hello?" "Hey! How'd your dinner go last night?" Chris asked. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you." "Oh! Tell me tell me!" I told him everything that had happened the night before in excruciating detail. "Holy shit, you are one lucky bastard." he said when I finished. I smiled. "Yeah." "So, she just left?" "I guess so. She's not here." "I'm beginning to hate you, you do realize this?" I smiled and rolled out of bed. "You're just jealous." "Of course I am!" He laughed. "How are things going to go on the set though?" I frowned. "I never thought about that." "Figures." "Well, things will be ok. I mean, we're adults. If she wants it to be a one night thing, then I'm fine with that. If she wants more, I'm fine with that too." He laughed. "You're so naive."
I walked out of my dressing room and onto the set. Sara ran up to me and pulled me away from everyone else. "Um, about last night... I'm sorry I had to leave like that. I tried to wake you up, but no luck." I smiled. "So you didn't just leave to avoid the awkwardness?" She looked away and smiled. "Well, that too." I smiled and kissed her cheek. "It's ok." I whispered walking away. She bounced after me. "Alright people! We have one more scene to go, and I want it to go by quickly." Eric said. I smiled. "That shouldn't be a problem." I said sarcastically.
Sara sat in between my legs on my bed as I played with her hair. "How do you think this movie's going to do?" she asked. "I don't know and I don't care. I had fun making it, and that's all that matters." She smiled. "I bet you had fun." "Oh yeah." I said kissing her neck. She turned around and kissed me on the lips. "I love you." she whispered. "No you don't." She leaned back and looked at me. "What do you mean? Yes I do." "No, you don't. You can't." "Why not?" "One night of sex doesn't make you fall in love with someone. Trust me, I know." "It's not the sex. I've loved you for quite some time now." I looked down and closed my eyes. I know there's no way she can love me. "JC? Do you believe me?" I opened my eyes and looked at her. "Yes."
"So, what, it's been two months?" Justin asked as I sat in his living room. "Yes. And every second of it has been great." "I'm sure it has. She's damn fine. How's the sex?" "I'm not answering that." "Oh come on, tell me." "No." "Please!" "No. I'm never going to tell you, so don't even bother asking me again." He was silent for a moment. "Tell me!" I rolled my eyes and walked to the kitchen. Chris was bent over with his head in the refrigerator. "It's nice how you can go through someone else's fridge like it's yours." I said smiling. He looked up and smiled back. "Justin's food is my food. He knows, he's ok with it. How are things with you and Sara?" "What is your all's fixation with Sara and I?" "You're the only one of us getting laid. So, how are things?" "Good. Next month is the premiere of our movie and we're going together. After that we're going to get a big hotel suite and stay for the weekend. I can't wait." "I really do hate you. The jealously I feel right now is gripping my soul and controlling my life. You better watch out, it might completely take over and I'll kill you." "I'll be sure to watch for that." Justin walked into the room. "Why did you walk away when I was asking you a question?" "Because it was a question I wasn't going to answer." "What did you ask?" Chris asked. "I asked how the sex was. Can you believe he wouldn't answer?" Chris looked at me. "How could you do that? We're supposed to be best friends." "Best friends aren't this annoying."
"I love your kisses." Sara whispered. We sat on her couch making out to some music I was too busy to listen to. She ran her fingers through my hair and kissed me harder. She ran her hand down to my pants and began to unzip them. She stopped kissing me and back away. My mind started racing as it often did when she did this. She can't possibly love me. I know we've been together for two months, but I still get the feeling that she's using me. She sighed and looked at me. "What's wrong now?" I snapped out of it. "What do you mean?" "You're thinking about something else again. You're not responding to anything I'm doing to you." "Uh, things have been bothering me lately." "What things?" I looked away. "Nothing. It's not important." She leaned back against the couch and turned the music off. "We're having problems, aren't we?" she asked. "No, we're fine." "No we're not. Are you that blind?" "We're fine." I whispered. She got up and walked out of the room. Great.
"Sara!" I yelled jumping up and running after her. "What?" "I still love you. It's just that a lot has been on my mind lately." I said. She crossed her arms and stared into my eyes. "You sure have a lovely way of showing you love me." "I do though, you know I do." "I'm beginning to doubt that." My mouth dropped open. "What?" She sighed. "JC, you don't do what you used to anymore." "What don't I do?" "You used to kiss me with all your heart and soul, but not anymore. You seem to just drone through everything, even making love." "Whoa whoa whoa, hold on a minute. Do you not like it anymore?" "It's not that, because I do. It's just not as exciting as it used to be." I said nothing, just stared at her. "Are you going to say something?" she asked. "What do you want me to say? I mean my God, you just told me I'm bad in bed-" "I never said that." "Like hell you didn't. You just said it as nicely as you possibly could. Why don't you just come out and say it? I know it's what you're thinking." "Fine, I'll say it, but only because you're hassling me about it. You're bad in bed! No, wait, you're not bad in bed, your terrible in bed! You lay there and move back and forth with as little effort as you can possible muster up! What in the fuck is your deal?! You didn't used to be this way, you used to be great, the best I'd ever had, but then you changed!" "You want to know what did this to me? You, you did this. You told me you love me, and I know you're lying." She was silent for a moment, thinking of what to say no doubt. "Ok, maybe I am lying, but I do care for you a lot. I'm on the edge of love." "If you don't love me, why did you say it?" "I don't know." she said quietly. "I'm gonna go. I'll talk to you later." I said turning around. "Wait! You tell me you love me. Are you lying too?" I turned around and looked into her eyes. "No. I'm sorry, but I don't." She slightly slumped over. "I'll talk to you later then." she said walking away.
I sat in my living room watching tv thinking about what to do with Sara when someone knocked on my door. I got up and answered it to see Justin. His hair was going in every direction, his eyes were blood shot, and he couldn't stand still. "Oh my God, are you ok?" "No." "Uh, come in." He stumbled into the house and I closed the door. "What happened?" "I went out for a drink and I ran into Britney." He sighed and fell onto my couch. "Is that all?" "No. We started talking and she told me she's getting married," he looked up at me with tears forming in his eyes. "She's getting married." he said shakily. I sat down next to him and patted his back. "You don't need her, you got over her a long time ago. Don't hurt yourself thinking about this." "We were going to get married. I guess she didn't love me enough." "Justin, stop it. You know that's not true." "Do I?" "Yes, you do. I'm sure there's some kind of reason she's getting married. It can't be for love." He sniffed. "Maybe." "Yeah. Well, I'd offer you a drink to take this off your mind, but it seems that you've already had one... More than one." "I'll take one anyway." "Are you sure? I don't want you to drive home if you do." "Fine, I'll stay here. I mean, if it's ok with you." "Yeah."
"I mean, we did everything together. We worked together, shopped together, ate together, lived together, showered together, slept together. I don't see how she could leave me. After only a year she's engaged to be married? How could she do that? She can't possibly love him and he can't possibly love her. Not as much as I did." Justin said as he downed another bottle of beer. "There has to be some kind of motive behind all this. Maybe her career is going down the drain like ours and she's ran out of money to upkeep her lifestyle. Maybe he's loaded and that's the only reason she's marrying him." I said. "That better damn well be it. She can't love him. She can't!" "Of course she can't. Who marries someone after only a year? It's probably not even been that long!" "It's probably been longer. She was probably cheating on me." "Don't say that. She wasn't cheating on you." "How do you know? When I wasn't gone she was. It would have been so easy." "She couldn't have been cheating on you. Do you even realize how the press would have eaten that up." "She's smarter than that, she would have hidden it. Made them all blind! Just like she did to me!" I rolled my eyes. "She wasn't cheating on you." "How do you know?!" "Because she talked to me about it!" "What?" "She called me sometimes when she thought you were cheating on her." "Why didn't you ever tell me?" "She told me not to." "And you listened to her? JC, I'm supposed to be your best friend! She's just a lying little whore!" I stood up and walked to the door of the room. "I'm going to sleep. You know where the extra sheets are." I said turning around and leaving.
I woke up the next morning and walked to the room Justin was sleeping in. I opened the door to see him sprawled out across the bed with his shoes still on. Just like him. Too drunk to even take off his shoes. I walked out to hear the phone ringing. I ran downstairs and picked it up. "Hello?" "JC, I'm so glad you're home. I called Justin, but he wasn't home. So then I called Chris and he didn't know where he was. So I called you. Umm, is he there?" Britney asked. "Yes, but he's in a drunken slumber. Why do you want to talk to him?" "I saw him last night. He wasn't looking too good when I told him about, uh.... Did he tell you about this?" "Yes. About you getting engaged?" "Yeah. I just wanted to make sure he was doing ok. You know, not dead or something." "Honestly Britney, he doesn't love you that much." "Well, I was just making sure." "Why are you worried? Why do you care?" "I, well, uh, it's just that I do care about him still. Well, since he's asleep, I guess I'll go. Tell him I called." "No, I won't. Bye."
I sat at the kitchen table with Justin while we ate breakfast. "Uh, thanks for everything. You know, letting me stay over and stuff. I really appreciate it." he said. "It's no problem. That's what friends do for each other." He smiled. "Yeah, I guess so." His phone rang and he got it out of his pocket. "Hello?" I watched as his face changed from happy to confused to angry. A few minutes later he hung up. "JC, did anyone call for me this morning?" A look of panic swept across my face. "Uh, what- what do you mean?" "It wasn't a difficult question. Did anyone call for me?" I sunk down in my seat. "Yes." I said quietly. "Who?" "Britney." "Why didn't you tell me?!" "Well, you were sleeping." "You should have woke me up! Why did you do that?!" "After what happened last night I didn't want you to talk to her. You would have broken down completely. She just wanted to see how you were anyway." "She was concerned about me? I need to call her." he said standing up. I grabbed his arm and pulled him back down into the seat. "You shouldn't call her." "Why not?" "It would be bad for you. Just for one second think about last night. You can't talk to her again." He got up and walked away.
I sat in the airplane, staring out the window wishing it would go faster. I'm so happy I'm going home. It's been too long. A stewardess walked up to me and bent down. "Is there anything I can get you to make your flight more comfortable?" she asked. I looked over at her to see her shirt falling off her chest, showing everything. "Uh, no thanks. I'm fine." I said looking away. "Well, if you need anything just give me a ring." she said smiling and walking away. I sighed and looked out the window. Clouds flew past the window and I pictured myself laying on the ground when I was little staring up at them. I miss home so much.