Jo sat in the cold lecture theatre chewing on a pencil as her mind was a million miles away from what was being said by her professor at the front of the room. She was thinking about Justin a lot these past few days since he seemed to have gotten into depression mode.

Although who could blame him since in a week’s time, Justin’s brief hiatus would be over and he would no longer be just Justin but Justin Timberlake, pop superstar. Even she felt depressed thinking about it.

The thing that worried her was that Justin seemed to be battling something within himself lately and he’d been slowly pulling back from her. It was not that he showed his love for her any less but that he just seemed to be more cautious than his usual self.

This was wrong. Not the part about Justin leaving because that was inevitable and she knew it was a part of his life. But the part about him being a little withdrawn around her. He’d always been there for her problems. He’d always seen her through her pain. And now, when he needed her, she couldn’t help him. She was helpless herself.

She needed to think of something and fast, too. She needed to pick up his spirits and help him draw back to his usual self again. But how?


"Justin?" Jo called to him as she knocked on his door.

He was playing his guitar which meant he was in one of those moods. And that didn’t surprise her because he’d been playing the guitar all week.

"Hey." He looked up at her face and smiled as she entered his room. He still couldn’t believe how much just looking at her made him smile. And those enchanting eyes of hers were worth spending one’s entire life gazing into.

Entire life???? Timberlake, how much have you been drinking?

"Are you busy?" She slid onto the chair beside the bed and looked at him.

"No. I always make time for you and you know it."

"Like how you made time for me last month when you were watching that basketball game on TV? Or that time at the movies when you couldn’t take your eyes off the screen long enough to eat the popcorn.......Or....."

"Ok, ok! I get the picture." He chuckled as he took her hand in his own and kissed her fingers. Soon, he’d be far away from her and he may never be able to kiss these fingers again. The thought that Jo may not be around for him to protect or for him to talk to made him feel scared.

Jo watched the wistful expression in his eyes. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"What about?"

"You know what about Justin. Its about next week and what lies in store for us. Its about that expression that you have had all week and that’s in your eyes right this minute."

Justin sighed and his shoulders slumped forward. Jo scooted over beside him on the bed and hugged herself to his shoulder.

"Tell me, Justin. I’m sad, too. But you seem to be bothered by more than this separation thing. So tell me about it. Maybe I can help you."

"It’s just that...." He cleared his throat before moving on. "It’s just that I’ve always regarded you as my special someone. You’re mine. And only mine. And now that we’re going to become a ‘tour couple’, everyone will want to know who you are and what you like and what you wear to bed. You will be dragged into my world, Jo. And I don’t want that for you."

"Listen to me Justin. I’ve always believed that if you care enough about a person, then nothing else matters. And all this other stuff in your world, they don’t bother me. If it’s a part of your world, then I’ll have to learn to accept it and adjust to it if I want to be with you." Jo laughed and said, "I should be more worried than you about this anyway. Yet here you are worrying your life away about MY problem."

"You don’t know what its like to have your every move dissected by the fans and the media. You don’t know what its like to have people using you for their own benefits and then discarding you afterwards. And you sure as hell don’t know anything about THAT Justin Timberlake’s life and what he goes through, so don’t try and tell me what to do here, ok!!"

With that, Justin grabbed his jacket and left the room. Jo could only stare after him in disbelief. She’d never seen him like that. And though she felt miserable at what he’d just said to her. Part of her knew that it wasn’t him speaking but the pressure getting to him that made him act this way.

She could only let him go and cool off. But she knew she needed to do something for him to make him feel better. And she just might have the perfect plan.

(The Next Morning)

Jo sat on the couch the next morning and waited for Rick and Justin so that she could have a ride to campus. As she was planning what to do for Justin today, she heard him behind her as he came down the stairs. She took one look at his apologetic expression and knew that he regretted whatever it was that he had said to her the night before.

He sat down next to her on the couch and opened his mouth to say something but Jo cut him off.

"It’s ok. I know that you’re under a lot of pressure and I understand."

Justin smiled gratefully at her and he took her in his arms. "But that’s no excuse. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you of all people. You who has been nothing but supportive of me. I’m sorry, baby."

"Good. You were a jerk last night."

Justin laughed. "But I thought you said it was ok and that you understood."

"I was being nice."

"That you are, baby. That you are." Justin laughingly kissed her forehead.

After she had kissed him, she looked up at his face and asked, "Are you busy tonight?"

"I think I can squeeze you in. What’s up?"

"I wanted to take you out tonight?"

"Take me out? As in fancy car, fancy food and the works?"

"Nope. Quite the opposite really. It’s a surprise. But just be ready by 7, ok?"

"I’m getting suspicious about your night out, suddenly. But I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather spend tonight with. So you’ll do."

"Ha ha, Mr Timberlake."

That evening, Justin came home from his classes eagerly and went upstairs to get ready. He knew that tonight was going to be a night to remember and he couldn’t wait. Trust Jo to keep him in suspense like this.

When he heard a knock at his door, he went round the bed to open it and saw Jo standing there dressed in a pair of khaki capris and a white sleeveless t-shirt. How in the world she had managed to turn such a simple outfit like that into something sexy was beyond him but that was her through and through.

"Are ya ready?"

"Sure am. What do you have planned for tonight, or are you still not gonna tell me?"

"My lips are sealed."

Justin smiled teasingly and leaned down towards her. "Then maybe I can unseal them." He didn’t get to complete his last word because he ended it with a kiss.

"As much as I’d like to stay here all day and have you kiss the secrets out of me, let’s get going."

When Jo and Justin got out of their house, Justin walked straight to the mini-van but Jo pulled him away.

"How do you plan to get to wherever it is that you’re going?"

"We’re taking the subway."

"Huh? Really? Oh man, Rick should be here. He’d skin me alive but at least I’ll be able to see the expression on his face when you said that."

"We are really going to take the subway tonight. I know how when you go back to your life as THE Justin Timberlake, you’re going to get all the fancy dinners and the exclusive entertainment. So I thought, tonight, I’m going to normalize you."

"Normalize me?" Justin laughed as he hugged her to his side. "I don’t care what we do tonight, babe, as long as we’re doing it together."

The two of them walked to the subway station nearby where they lived. Justin, who hadn’t traveled in public transport for years now, was excited when they reached the station.

In the train, the two of them sat at a corner and held hands while Justin looked around him, absorbing every minute of it. Since he wore a ski cap and a pair of shades that he had hurriedly bought from a shop on their way to the station, he was pretty well disguised.

There were these two girls who sat diagonally across from Jo and Justin who kept looking over at them. They were looking between Jo and Justin and scrutinizing them like they were trying to place where they’d seen them before. Jo prayed that they wouldn’t look too closely at Justin.

Finally, when they arrived at the station that they were to alight at, Jo and Justin got up and walked out of the train.

Just then, they both heard a shriek. "OH MY GOD!! Jamie, I KNEW I’d seen him somewhere! That’s JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!!"

With that, the two girls got up and dashed towards Justin and Jo. Justin looked at the two girls with an almost frightened expression. Suddenly, the train doors closed and put a barrier between the two girls and Justin. The expressions on the girls faces were frozen and Justin and Jo couldn’t help but giggle as the train pulled away with the two girls’ faces pressed against the window pane.

When they got out of the station, Justin finally stopped laughing.

Jo looked over at him laughing like that and she felt a pang of sadness. This moment was going to pass because in a few days’ time, Justin would be leaving and who knew when she’d be able to share a moment like that with him again?

The expression on her face did not go unnoticed by Justin and he nudged her lightly with his elbow. "Why so sad?"

"I was just thinking about how precious this moment is and how I feel close to tears thinking that it may never happen again, because you will never be the guy you are today again." Her eyes shined with unshed tears.

"Don’t be silly. Don’t cry because this time that we shared is almost over but smile because it happened. Besides, it’s not as if we’re going to break up or anything. We’ll just have a different sort of relationship, that’s all." He smiled tenderly at her. "Now stop with the tears, the night hasn’t even begun yet and the rate you’re going, I may never find out what you have in store for me."

"Don’t worry, I wouldn’t deny myself that pleasure." She said as her bantering mood was back.

Their first stop was a cheesy ‘50s style diner.

"This is where we’re having dinner?" Justin asked in mock incredulousness.

"Hey, this is MY night out that I planned for you. So shut up and enjoy it or else...."

"Yes, ma’am." Justin laughed as he looked around the place and found that he actually liked the ambience. The place wasn’t too crowded and the decor was cheap and tacky but in a comical way.

They sat in a booth in the far corner of the establishment and both of them had the house special of a burger, fries and a milkshake. As much as the decor of the place led one to question the quality of the food served, the food was really great. Justin was impressed by the food and Jo couldn’t help but throw him a smug I-told-you-so look.

They ate and they talked about their impending separation in hushed tones. One could tell that both parties were caught up in the melancholy of their situation, but were trying hard to put on a brave face for the sake of the other person.

After dinner, Justin walked over to the juke-box and mulled over the choices of songs that they offered.

"What are you doing?" Jo asked as she walked over.

"I’m trying to choose a song. Can’t you see?"

"Yeah, I know. But what for?"

"Cos I wanna dance with my date." He still looked intently at the juke-box.

"There’s no way I’m dancing with you here. No-one else is dancing. You can’t dance here." Jo protested.

Justin motioned for her to hush as he looked over at the big lady who stood behind the counter. "Excuse me, ma’am? But I was wondering if I could dance with my date over here?" Justin grinned his best lady-killer smile. By this time, a few people in the diner had looked up from their meals and looked out of curiosity at the couple.

The lady took one look at Justin and then at the girl beside him who had her face buried on Justin shoulder in embarrassment and smiled at him. "Sure, you can. You just go right ahead."

Justin grinned in satisfaction at Jo, who was red as a beetroot. Justin may enjoy dancing in front of strangers but I can’t do this, she thought as she looked nervously around the roomful of nosey people.

Finally, Justin picked a song from the selection. As the beginning few chords of the song began to play, Justin held out his arms to Jo. Jo couldn’t help but smile at the beautiful lyrics of the song that he had picked.

"Are the stars out tonight? I don't know if it's cloudy or bright  cause I only have eyes for you, dear. The moon may be high  but I can't see a thing in the sky  cause I only have eyes for you..."

"I don't know if we're in a garden or on a crowded avenue. You are here, so am I,   maybe millions of people go by but they all disappear from view and I only have eyes for you..."

The entire room was riveted on the beautiful couple. They held their collective breaths almost as if they knew that their relationship was something special and deserved the respect. But the two people in the center of all the attention, weren’t the least bit aware of it at all.

Jo snuggled deeper into his embrace as he gently swayed with her on the impromptu dancefloor. She knew this was where she belonged.

When the couple got home that night, they were both smiling and happy. And the night itself was definitely one to remember, in more ways than one...

As Jo closed the door behind the two of them, Justin scooped her into his arms as she giggled. The house was dark since everyone else was probably in bed by then. He carried her to her room and lay her on the bad as she smiled up at him.

Justin couldn’t believe the wonderful night they’d shared. After dinner they had gone bowling and then headed to the park for a walk and some ice-cream. And the thing that got to him about it all was how grounded Jo was. She could have asked for a date at a hip club or an exclusive restaurant but instead, she takes him out to do normal things knowing that these are the memories that he treasured the most.

His mouth found hers almost instinctively and together their lips united in a searing kiss. The kiss was one of desperation and sadness as a mark of their last days together as normal people.

Jo thought about the night they’d just shared as she kissed Justin. She’d never been so overwhelmed by a man and felt as close to him as she did to Justin and the intensity of it all scared her. But she knew that she belonged with him, she knew that she felt understood and special with him and she knew that.....

Jo broke off from the kiss as she took a deep breath and whispered, "I love you, Justin." She gasped as the realization hit her, but it was a pleasant realization.

Justin was about to bend down again and meet her lips with his own but when he heard the words, he froze. He pulled back from her and his eyes locked with hers as they registered first confusion and then anger. Not just annoyance or mild anger, but white hot anger.

Jo looked at him with wide eyes, eyes that begged for acceptance. Her ears needed to hear the words too or at least some sort of explanation, but none came. Only this anger from Justin that she couldn’t explain.

"Justin," she pleaded as she reached out and touched his arm. But he shrugged her arm away. Jo had never been afraid of Justin in the six months that she had known him, but the man that knelt on her bed wearing a mask of anger and confusion wasn’t her Justin. That man was a stranger as far as she was concerned and she felt actual fear.

Justin took a moment to compose himself but within seconds, he was out the door and slamming it shut behind him. The slamming sounded so final, like the death knell, she thought.

The figure on the bed crumpled into heart-wrenching sobs. She’d seen it in his face and in his cold eyes. It was over.

But why?

Justin ran up the stairs to the sanctuary of his room, his mind a blur of thoughts and his heart numbed with pain. He threw the door to his room open and once inside, shut the door to seal him off from the world outside and all who dwelt in there. In particular, one enchanting brown haired, brown-eyed girl.

He sat on the bed and slumped his head into his hands. The familiar feeling of insecurity and doubt that had been plaguing him the last few weeks was suddenly eating him alive.

Looking up, his eyes flew to the window as they looked into the stars, hoping to find an answer there. Just then, a photograph on his night stand caught his eye. It was one of his favorite pictures of him and Jo. Justin was never one to keep photographs of his loved ones on hand because he felt he didn’t need to keep them visually in front of him, when they were always there in his heart.

But that particular photo was special. And since photographs are a slice of a person’s memory, looking at this particular one brought him back to that day.

They had all gone out to a karaoke bar that night, just for laughs. He remembered watching Jo on stage with a borrowed feather boa as she belted out "I Will Survive". He had been laughing non-stop at her crazy antics. After the performance was over, she had come down to the table where Justin, Rick, Carrie and Luke were seated and played out her ‘diva’ role to the fullest. At one point, she had wrapped her feather boa around Justin’s neck and drew his face closer to give him a pouty kiss. That moment along with the feelings he had felt and the spontaneity of the moment had been captured on film by Luke.

Since then, every time Justin looked at that photo, no matter how crappy his day had been or how miserable he had felt, it had made him smile. But just then, smiling was the last thing on his mind.

He picked up the photo frame and threw it with all his pent up anger across the room.

Why did she have to do this to him? He thought she was different from the others, from.....Leah. But now he knew she wasn’t. And it tore his insides apart.

At any other point in his life, pop superstar Justin Timberlake would have shrugged his pain aside and put on a pair of shades, a brave front and kept on smiling for the cameras and his legions of fans.

But this, was a different Justin. This was a Justin who had been assured by someone he had cared for that it was okay to feel and let go. This was after he had met Joanna Rayes. And this problem was bigger than anything he had encountered in his entire life.

So the mortal Justin, did something he hadn’t done in a long time. Something he had almost forgotten how to do.

He broke down into uncontrollable sobs. There would be a time for the anger and bitterness later, he thought, as the tears streamed down his cheeks.

But today, was a time for the pain.

How Did I Fall In Love With You?

CHAPTER TWELVE

(The next day.)

Jo didn’t get up until after noon the next day since she hadn’t gotten any sleep the night before. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot and she had long since decided not to go in for classes that day. She felt like crawling into a hole and staying that way forever.

When she first got up, she was puzzled as to why she had felt so tired and looked bleary-eyed. And the it all came back to her and almost involuntarily, tears filled her eyes.

What got to her was not the fact that Justin hadn’t been able to reciprocate her love for him. She had sensed that for sometime now and wouldn’t have dreamed of pressuring him into saying something that he wasn’t ready for. No, what hurt the most was the look in his eyes when it had finally registered in his head, what she had said to him. He had looked actually disgusted and angry with her. But she couldn’t for the life of her figure out what she had said or done to make him react with anger. And she knew Justin well enough to realize that this wasn’t something trivial. The look of anger in his eyes had been intense, almost like betrayal. But how had she betrayed him?

What she needed more than anything in the world right now was time alone with Justin to talk and sort things out. She needed to understand the source of his pain. True, she felt hurt for being rejected in her admission of love for him. But more importantly, she was worried about what he was going through. Even in her pain, she sought to protect him.

After taking a shower and getting dressed, she took her laptop out of its case and went outside to sit quietly and check her e-mails.

As she sat sorting through her inbox, she heard footsteps on the stairs and looked up to see Rick.

"Hey, Rick," she said quietly.

"Hi there, little one." He looked concernedly at her withdrawn face and puffy eyes.

Jo heard the concern in his voice and as much as she wanted to confide in him, she knew that she needed to talk things through with Justin first.

Rick saw the resolve on her face not to talk and felt frustrated. Justin had been exactly the same way earlier this morning in the car. But then again, they had always been each other’s confidantes and energy reserves. So it was no wonder that after a fight between two people who normally sought help from each other, they would clam up to other people.

"I don’t know what the details are and I’m not forcing you to tell me unless you’re ready. But I do know that what you both share is too special to throw away so easily."

"I thought so ,too, Rick." She smiled bitterly as she spoke the words. "I guess I’ll need to talk with Justin when he gets back tonight."

"Uh...that might be a problem." Rick looked uncomfortable.

"Why? Will he be late? Or did Johnny call him to the studio? There’s no problem, I’ll just wait up."

"No, it’s not that. He .....uh, he’s staying at the hotel with the guys."

"Oh."

That simple word broke Rick’s heart. He was going to pound the boy on his head for hurting her like this.

"Is he coming back?" she asked miserably.

"I don’t know, Jo. But you know, J. He’s as stubborn as they come, that boy. And since he’s leaving to go on tour by the end of the week, I doubt he’s going to come back." He didn’t want to hurt the girl any more than she had been but he also knew better than to keep her in the dark, unlike what Justin was doing.

Jo nodded, mutely. She willed herself not to cry in front of Rick. She didn’t need any pity from anyone else for that matter. "Are you going to stay at the hotel, too, these last few days?"

"No, I wasn’t planning on doing that. I have to escort him to wherever he goes and he’s still going for classes. But, no, I’m staying. Can’t get rid of me that easily. Besides, I love my bed." The large man grinned at her in an attempt to lighten the moment.

She smiled wanly for Rick’s sake. At least Rick wouldn’t be abandoning her. "Will you try to talk to him for me, Rick?"

"I had already planned on doing just that but since you asked, I’ll double my efforts."

"Thank you, Rick. You’re a real friend." She hugged him as she spoke the words. "And Rick?"

"Yeah?"

"If I don’t see him again, will you...will you take care of him for me?"

"Seems all people ever ask me to do is take care of that boy. But yes, I will."

Oh, I’ll take care of him ,alright, he thought to himself. It was one thing to break her heart but another to desert her completely. He owed her an explanation and Rick vowed that even if he had to move mountains, he will make sure Justin talked to Jo one last time before he left. It was the least he could do for her.


Justin sat in the van as Rick drove him to the hotel. His mouth was set in a grim line and his eyes had dark crescent shaped shadows under them. Justin had been silent from the moment Rick had picked him up from campus.

"What happened?" Rick asked as he briefly looked over at Justin.

"I don’t wanna talk about it, ok?"

"Yeah, I can see that and you have every right not to want to talk to me about it. But you had no right to keep Jo in the dark like that. You need to talk to her."

"Don’t tell me how to run my life, Rick," he said angrily.

"Normally, I would have so whooped your sorry ass for talking to me like that, but I know that’s not you saying this, so I’m letting that one slide." Rick softened his tone. "She’s hurt, Justin. And confused. Talk to her. If not to patch up, then at least to end things. You can’t leave her hanging like that."

"I have nothing to say to her," Justin said coldly.

And that was what worried Rick.

The next few days, Justin went for his classes as per usual and returned to the guys’ hotel every night. The pressure of the new tour meant that they had to have extra dance rehearsals every night, too. And though it helped him to take his mind off Jo, he was still nowhere near being over it.

The guys were worried about Justin’s withdrawn state. He worked hard just like everyone else, but didn’t join the friendly banter with the guys anymore. He had closed himself off from them. And to four guys who considered Justin a brother and vice versa, that was scary. They knew Jo was involved and like Justin, they worried about her too. Rick had been able to provide them with what little information he knew.

Jo, was no different. She had told Luke and Carrie what was going on between herself and Justin, or rather what little she knew of the situation herself. They were shocked since Justin and Jo had always been just that - Justin and Jo. Carrie could still remember when they had been separated during the time that Justin had gone to LA. She had been so miserable for those few days. Lord only knew how she’d deal with Justin going away on tour and being angry with her.

The day before Justin was to go on tour, he had informed Rick to send someone out to get his stuff for him from the house. Rick had made a few phone calls and set up an appointment for the movers to get Justin’s stuff.

"They say they’ve got it covered but you’re gonna have to go back and sort out your things and pack them. They guys will pick up your stuff after that."

Justin eyed him suspiciously but he knew that he did need a few things to be sorted out in his room first. He checked his watch and knew that Jo wouldn’t be at home right then since she had a class scheduled. He then agreed to go back to the house and told Rick to get the van ready while he got his things.

Rick immediately called the house and prayed that Jo was home. True, enough, she hadn’t been to class that day, as was the case these last few days.

"What’s up, Rick?" she asked solemnly.

"Justin’s coming over to the house now. He thinks you’re not at home. This could be the chance for you guys to talk."

"I don’t think this is a good idea, Rick. He’s not going to be happy when he finds out that I’m home."

"I don’t care if he’s happy, Jo. Now, I want you to stay in your room and pretend that no one’s home when Justin and I get in. After I get him to go upstairs, I’ll come and get you. And then you go talk to him. Got that?"

"Ok." She sighed.

"Good. See you later."

He hung up the phone and waited for Justin, praying that this would work.


When Justin and Rick reached the house, Justin turned to Rick and said, "Are you gonna pack too?"

"Naw, I’m packed. You go ahead. I’ll just wait here." He innocently went to the couch and thumbed through a few magazines.

Satisfied, Justin went upstairs. Quickly, Rick went to Jo’s room and found her sitting pensively on her bed.

"Ready?" Rick asked.

"Ready as I’ll ever be. And thanks, Rick. I owe you one."

"No problem. When you and Justin get married, all I ask is for your firstborn."

Jo smiled back at him, but there was fear in her eyes. Rick squeezed the young girl’s hand as if to give her courage.

"Go for it."

She nodded at him and made her way out of her room and towards Justin’s room. She found him with his back turned to her, looking at something in the corner of his room.

Her breath caught in her throat. It had been a while since she saw him and she drank in the sight of him.

She took a deep breath. "Hello, Justin."

Justin froze momentarily when he hear her voice. But he snapped out of it and walked away from the corner of his room towards his bed. as he stacked his things into boxes. He ignored her completely.

"Justin, I know you don’t want to talk to me right now but I need to know, why?" Her last word came as a plea.

"I don’t need to know why you can’t love me back. You know, I’d never make you say something you weren’t ready to share with me. But what I want to know is, why are you so angry? What happened?" There were tremors in her voice as she paused , waiting for Justin to explain.

He never did.

"Justin, I....."

"Just stop , Jo. Stop it," he said quietly but coldly. He threw everything else he had into one last box and left it there. He then walked around Jo to get out of the room.

As Justin passed Jo, she held out and grabbed his arm. Her grasp was like that of a drowning man holding onto his lifeline, because as far as she was concerned, that’s what he was.

Justin flinched as though he’d been burned. "Let.....go.....of......my....arm." His words were emphasized as his blue eyes bored into hers, flashing in his anger.

"Justin, please...." she whispered, begging as tears coursed down her cheeks.

Justin hardened his heart and with one rough tug, freed his arm. "It’s over, Jo. Goodbye."

As Jo heard his steps down the stairs and then finally out the house, she felt a part of her die within her.

Jo looked around the room, at the bare shelves and bed. The reality sunk in, at last. He was leaving her for good. He won’t even be a phone call away anymore since she knew without a doubt that hers was the last voice he wanted to hear on the phone.

She went into the corner of the room where Justin had been earlier, and leaning against a wall, she cried. After some time, she stood up straight again and noticed a prism of light coming from the floor.

This must be what Justin was looking at earlier, she thought. What is that?

She bent down and saw an array of broken glass scattered all over the floor. Sitting in the middle of it all was the photo of her play-kissing Justin as she trapped him in a feather boa.

The glass around the photo looked so pretty since the light was shining off the contours of the broken glass, forming rainbow hues of light. She bent to outline Justin’s face in the picture but cut her hand instead.

She looked fascinated by the angry red curl of flesh that the cut had caused and smiled bitterly as it filled with blood. Funny how even the pain from the cut couldn’t take her mind off the pain of her shattered heart at that moment.


Put away the pictures
Put away the memories
I put over and over
Through my tears
I've held them till I'm blind
They kept my hope alive
As if somehow that I'd keep you here
Once you believed in a love forever more
How do you leave it in a drawer?
Now here it comes the hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that's holding on
How do I start to live my life alone?
Guess I'm just learning
Learning the art of letting go...

(The Art Of Letting Go - Mikaila)

---

How Did I Fall In Love With You?

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

In the weeks that followed, Jo managed to fall back into the mundane routines of her life. Classes, research papers, doing the laundry, jogging. Her life went back to normal but the vivacity within Joanna Rayes was lost.

Luke and Carrie tried their best to revive the old Jo. What worried them most was that after Justin left, Jo did not cry. Even though no one would have blamed her even if she had decided to cry the rest of her life away. That much pain was evident in her eyes. But she kept it all pent up inside.

As for Jo herself, only she knew how many tears she had already spent on Justin. How many times she had cried herself to sleep after the incident that had ended their relationship. So when Justin finally left, it was like her tears became frozen within her. And the frozen tears hurt even more because they were always in a lump in the base of her throat, yet never dissolving into actual tears to relieve her of her misery.

Carrie had been reading things about Justin in the papers almost everyday since he had left to go on tour. And they all had only one thing to say. Or rather TWO things. Britney Spears. It angered Carrie that Justin had run off and found solace in Britney’s arms when her friend was hurting like this. Had his feelings for Jo been so replaceable? Maybe Justin didn’t deserve Jo after all? But, whatever the case, Carrie knew that she had to keep the reports from Jo herself since she knew that they would only hurt her more.

But the news was everywhere and it was only a matter of time before Jo herself found out.

Jo was watching television one day and channel surfing when she came across a channel where the reporter mentioned the name ‘Justin Timberlake’ several times. The images of Justin that Jo caught on TV or in magazine articles did absolutely nothing for her since the Justin she knew was not the mannequin whose smiles were plastered everywhere. And yet, her curiosity was pricked and she needed to know what the report had to say.

Jo was riveted to the reporter’s voice as the screen filled with footage of Justin and Britney Spears, spotted recently. The reporter then went on to say how Justin had been in the arms of quite a few beautiful young starlets and models in the last few weeks. That is until Britney herself flew out to join the *N Sync tour to "keep an eye on her man", or so the report said. It also went on to say how the couple had been inseparable since then.

Instead of reacting with jealousy or sadness, Jo was surprised to feel nothing but fury directed at Justin’s behavior. How dare he, she thought.

Since the split, Jo had been questioning her actions and what she had done to anger Justin. Never once had she blamed Justin or directed her anger at him. But at that moment, things took on a different perspective. Jo had a lot of self-respect and pride and she could no longer let Justin get away with this and make her look like a fool at the same time.

If that’s how he wanted it, then that’s what he’ll get. She’ll no longer weep over a guy like that. He wasn’t worth it, she told herself.


After a few more days of Jo moping around the house, Carrie decided to take things into her own hands. Lord knows that if Jo found out what she had planned she’d skin Carrie alive. But her love for Jo won out over her fear of the consequences over her actions. This, was getting ridiculous. It was unlike Jo to feel self-pity like this. She needed to get over her pain and move on with her life. Justin had, as the world knew, and so should she.

Jo was a grown woman and very capable of making wise decisions when it came to her life. But just right then, Jo was blinded by her emotions and needed some interference from the people who cared about her.

Besides Justin, Luke, Carrie and Rick, there was only one other person that Jo trusted a lot. And desperate times called for desperate measures.

She needed Wade’s help.

---

Jo was sitting at the dining table and doing a bit of reading for her class, when the doorbell rang. Carrie and Luke were out and she wasn’t expecting anyone, just then. Her forehead creased in concentration as she tried to think of who it could be while walking towards the door.

"Hi." She was greeted with the sight of Wade in a pair of faded jeans and a ribbed black sleeveless t-shirt worn under a leather jacket. He looked sheepishly up at her as his hands raked through his hair.

"Wade...hi," she said in a tone of practiced brightness.

"Mind if I come in?"

"Sure." She moved aside as he walked into the house.

As he sat across from her at the dining table, his eyes searched her own. The pain that he saw in her eyes made him want to run after the *N Sync tour and beat the crap out of Justin, even if he was a good friend. His eyes never once left her strained face.

"How are you?"

"I’m ok." She looked down at her hands as she said the words.

"Don’t lie to me, Jo. I thought we knew each other better than that."

"I’m ok." She insisted. "I’ll get over this," she whispered.

"I know it’s none of my business Jo, but I care about you and I don’t like seeing you this way. You can tell me."

She looked up at his familiar brown eyes and remembered a friend he had been to her. Even in the brief time that they had dated, she had seen the genuine concern and compassion in him and she had loved talking to him.

Her eyes scanned the table and the book in front of her furtively before settling on her lap. Just when he thought that she wasn’t going to say anything, she surprised him.

"It’s Justin," she said softly. "But I’m sure you knew that much already."

Once the words were out of her mouth, nothing could have prevented her from telling him the rest of the story. She left out the part about telling Justin that she loved him since that was personal, but other than that, very little was left unsaid. It was like Jo needed desperately to get the memories off her chest and Wade had come around at the right time. She even told him about Britney.

Throughout this time, Wade just held her hand comfortingly. When she needed to collect herself or to take a few breaths, he waited patiently for the words to start again.

When she was done, Jo looked over at this guy who was helping her pick up the pieces that another man had left behind. Not many guys would have done that but Wade was one of those who would. He was a gentlemen through and through.

When he finally saw that she was done, he reached over and pulled her onto his lap and into his arms. Stroking her hair soothingly he spoke, "There’s very little that I can say to you by way of advice because I know nothing that I say can ease the pain. I don’t know half of what you’re going through. But you said so yourself, Jo. He’s not worth the pain." He took a deep breath before continuing. "And you can’t afford to live in the past ,Jo. He’s moved on, apparently, so should you. Tonight you can cry and complain and moan about how it hurts. But tomorrow, you start your life brand new. Ok?"

He rubbed her back as if to reassure her. "Let it go, Jo. Don’t hold it back anymore," he whispered.

Almost as if he had given her permission to, Jo began to cry. This time she let it all out and Wade just sat there and held her against his chest.

Wade was right of course, but why was it so hard to let go?

A few weeks later, Jo was well on her way to mending her heart. And Wade had been there for her every step of the way. She didn’t even want to imagine what she would have become if Wade hadn’t stepped in and made her see the light.

Jo wasn’t as spontaneous or as sarcastic as before, but she wasn’t moping around over Justin either. She had managed to harden her heart against any emotions where Justin was concerned. She was actually willing to give life without Justin Timberlake in it a try.

Meanwhile, she was very grateful to Wade and she allowed him back in her life again. She felt that she owed it to him after all that he’d done for her. And she had genuinely begun to care for him, too.


Jo was watching a Mariah Carey concert on TV with Wade one evening, as the two made snide remarks about her shrinking wardrobe.

"Actually, I don’t really care about what she wears. She can sing naked, as far as I’m concerned, as long as she keeps that great voice of hers." Jo proclaimed as she munched on a pretzel.

"Naked, huh?" Wade grinned. "I’m sure that I’ll be focusing my attention on her.........uh ,voice."

She threw a cushion at him as he laughed. "Men!" She rolled her eyes heavenward.

They were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell ringing.

"Jo, will you get that? I think it’s the new girl!" Carrie hollered from upstairs.

"New girl?" Wade asked quizzically as Jo went to get the door.

"Yeah, for Ju..... I mean, the spare room."

Opening the door, she came face to face with a tanned Asian girl with brown hair and orangey highlights. She was struggling with a box and Jo could see several boxes behind her.

"Hi, is Carrie around?" she asked.

"She’ll be down in a minute. And you are?"

"I’m Hani , Hani Hashim. I’m going to be your new house-mate."

"Oh, cool."

Just then Wade’s strong arms encircled Jo’s waist from behind as he snuggled his face on her chin and looked at the new girl.

"Jo, don’t be rude, sweetie. Let her come into the house before you start playing 20 questions." He grinned in Hani’s direction and helped her to carry the box that she was holding so precariously.

Hani couldn’t take her eyes off Wade and Jo sensed that as she let the girl inside the house.

"By the way, I’m Joanna Rayes."

"Known affectionately by one and all as Jo," Wade piped in.

"And this is Wade Robson. Known affectionately by one and all as ‘pain-in-the-butt’. Wade this is the new girl, Hani Hashim."

"Nice to meet you, Hani," Wade said as he offered her his hand.

She took it but remained transfixed on his face.

"Hi, Hani!" Carrie’s voice came from the stairs as she broke the awkward moment earlier.

Hani stood up and smiled at her friend before hugging her.

"Ok you’ve met one of the monsters who live with us and you’ll meet the other one, my boyfriend, later."

Hani laughed at Carrie’s description. "I suppose you’re the angel in this group."

"How’d you guess?" Carrie feigned mock surprise.

"So, Hani," Jo began. "You’re not from around here are you?"

"Nope. I’m from a pimple-sized island in South East Asia called Singapore."

"Wow."

"So, tell me Hani," Wade said as he grinned, mischievously. "Have you ever seen chewing gum?"

"Do NOT go there!" Hani said laughingly.


After Carrie brought Hani upstairs on the grand tour and Wade had apologetically left the group so that he could make it on time for the dance lesson that he instructs, Jo sought out her room and decided to check her e-mails.

As she opened her e-mail, she noticed that she had a few new e-mails. One from her friend and another from the college newsletter. But the one that caught her eye was an e-mail from Chris.

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: WANT FREE PORN?

Jo BAYBEE!!!

If you thought for one minute there that I was gonna give you free porn, then shame on you!! It’s just me your ol’ buddy, ol’ pal, Chris! remember me? Thought so.
How are you doing, little one? We’ve all missed you so much. Yes, even Joey misses you eventhough he says he doesn’t miss you making fun of him all the time. :P
The tour’s doing great. We’ve all done this so many times before but we never get sick of it, y’know. It’s like each one is special and different from the other. Wish you were here so we could have someone else to torment besides Joey. LoL

Dani tells me you won’t answer her calls and JC’s tried calling you a couple of times ,too. What’s wrong? Ok, so that was stupid, but what I meant to say was , talk to us. Don’t estrange yourself from us, Jo. We still need you around whether or not you’re having problems with ,J.

I can’t tell you what to do about all this cos’ I don’t know all the details. Justin won’t tell me and you’ve dropped off the face of the earth. Some friends. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that all of us still care about you. Don’t shut us out ok? We are on your side, too.

I gotta go now, have to sound check pretty soon. But I hope you will reply or call me or the others. Dani misses you ,too. So does Busta<insert ‘woof woof’ here>. :) Take care of yourself now, ya hear? And DON"T go around opening strange e-mails that say ’WANT FREE PORN?’ Sheesh.

Love always, (You can have my Doritos ,too)
Chris

By the end of the e-mail, Jo was both crying and laughing uncontrollably. Her heart overflowed with such a myriad of emotions. God, she missed Chris and the others.

She hadn’t meant to shut them out. She just thought that being band-mates of Justin’s, they owed loyalty to one of their own before an outsider. She had come from a family where every member looked out for his or her own welfare, only.

She hadn’t counted on the deep-rooted love and friendship that the guys and the people associated with them had extended to her. She felt so special and loved at that moment.

She quickly hit reply and began typing her response to Chris.

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: RE: WANT FREE PORN?

Dear Chris,

You know me too well, bro! You know I ALWAYS want free porn, don ‘cha? LoL

I’ve missed you guys ,too. Trust me, you don’t know the half of it. I’m torn between missing y’all and feeling depressed to wanting to go for therapy because I ACTUALLY miss you guys.

I’m sorry for shutting you guys out. Especially you, JC and Dani. You guys have been so supportive of me all along and I had no right to doubt that you would continue to be just as supportive after my separation with Justin. Forgive me? You’d better or else....

<gasp> You’d share your Doritos with me? Wow! You must REALLY REALLY care about me then. I’m flattered.

Tell JC and the others that I’m fine. I’ll call Dani right after this and tell her myself. Take care of yourself ,Chris and keep in touch with me, ok? I need someone who’s as warped as me to be my friend. Watch out for Joey and don’t tie him up if he annoys you. That’s cruel. Knock him unconscious instead. LoL. Bye and I’ll miss you.

Smiles + hugs,
Jo.

---

How Did I Fall In Love With You?

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Jo woke up with a start and looked around with uncertainty at her surroundings. And then with a smile, she looked over at Wade’s sleeping form on the bed and remembered where she was.

They had gone out for dinner and then went clubbing afterwards and since it had been late and Wade’s place was nearby, he suggested that she crash there for the night. Jo agreed since she had no classes in the morning the next day.

It was nice waking up and feeling Wade’s arms around her protectively like that. They hadn’t taken the relationship into the physical level yet because she knew she wasn’t ready, but it was nice to be physically close to Wade as she slept.

She had been getting up in the middle of the night for the last few weeks and that night was no exception. She would just sit or pace and sort out her thoughts and emotions.

She smoothed down Wade’s rumpled hair and checked to make sure that he was still asleep before getting out of his room and heading towards the kitchen for a drink. She poured herself a glass of icy cold water and holding the glass in her hand, walked around Wade’s living room to look at the numerous awards and accolades he had received in recognition of his dancing and choreography. She smiled at the photographs on his mantle of Wade and several well known celebrities. She loved how he was such an accomplished dancer and choreographer and yet he had his head screwed on straight and he had no airs about his talent. Just like Ju.....

Jo frowned as she thought of his name and mentally caught herself before she could complete that thought. But it was too late. He was already in her head.

She decided to push that thought out of her mind on continue looking at Wade’s photographs when the next photo she laid eyes on was one of Justin and Wade from about a year ago.

They were both laughing about something as they made a ridiculous pose and Jo couldn’t help but smile at their antics. Wade looked devilishly handsome in the photograph but there was no question as to whose face Jo’s eyes were riveted upon in the picture.

I wish I’d known him then, she thought. Then I could have touched that world famous afro of his, she thought as she grinned broadly.

As she tore her eyes from the photo, another photograph caught her attention. This time, one of Britney and Wade. Looking at her face all the forgotten anger and bitterness at Justin came crashing down upon her. She looked to and fro between Justin and Britney’s images as if to ask their likenesses the questions that she so longed to ask the persons themselves.

A sob caught in her throat as she realized that she still missed Justin despite everything that she had gone through. Where words failed her, Jo sang softly to the photographs to convey her emotions.

"There you are, holding her hand.  I am lost, dying to understand. Didn’t I cherish you right?  Don’t you know, you were my life?

She looked accusingly at Justin’s face before she went on singing.

"Eventhough I try,  I can’t let go. Something in your eyes captured my soul. And every night I see you in my dreams. You’re all I know,  I can’t let go...."

(Mariah Carey - ‘Can’t Let Go’)

A single tear snaked its way down Jo’s cheek as she ended the haunting verse.

---

Justin lay in his bunk on the *NSYNC tour bus on the way to yet another destination and another hotel. It was in the middle of the night and usually after a show, Justin would settle down for an hour before finally giving in to the exhaustion. But that night, he just tossed and turned, unable to give in to the sleep that he so desperately needed.

He kept switching his torchlight on and off such that the confined space of his bunk would be illuminated one minute and then thrown into pitch darkness the next.

He was thinking about how after he came back to the life of Justin Timberlake, it had all felt so unnatural and alien to him. He had been singing and entertaining throughout a good portion of his life and yet the brief 6 months that he had spent in New York seemed more natural and familiar to him.

It had taken him a while to get back on track as far as touring and singing were concerned. He loved the singing and the music, but didn’t understand why he had to give up his life to do what he loved. It was like being in New York had bewitched him and made him forget how to be a pop star.

He had been bewitched, of course. By one opinionated teenage girl. She had taught him how to be normal again and yet at the same time, how to appreciate his fame for what it was. She had whirled into his life like the hurricane she was and changed him.

And what a feisty little hurricane she had been, too! He thought to himself as he grinned.

But why did she have to let him down like that? Why did she have to turn out to be like Leah?

His heart felt an almost physical ache as he thought about Jo. Why did he have to miss her so goddamned much?

And that he did. He missed her wit and sarcasm. He missed the way she held him, sometimes, like she never wanted to let him go. He missed her singing to herself all the time and her amazing voice, too. He missed that beautiful soul of hers that, funnily enough, he swore he could see through her eyes. He missed......well, her.

On the surface, it looked like he was the one who was angry and bitter about Jo’s betrayal, but on nights like these, when he was feeling particularly vulnerable, he was able to admit to himself how much he had cared about her and how much he still hurt from her betrayal.

Justin sighed and opened his mouth to let out an expletive but instead he did something which came naturally to him in times like this. He sang.

"Do you ever think about me? Do you ever cry yourself to sleep? In the middle of the night when you’re awake, are you calling out for me? Do you ever reminisce? I can’t believe I’m acting like this. Now it’s crazy, how I still can feel your kiss."

He sighed deeply before he continued.

"It’s been 6 months, 8 days, 12 hours since you went away. I miss you so much and I don’t know what to say. I should be over you, I should know better but it’s just not the case. It’s been 6 months, 8 days, 12 hours since you went away...."

(Brian McKnight - ‘6 , 8, 12’)

And the question that rang in his mind was, what if she didn’t miss him? Had the whole relationship been a farce to her?

He didn’t have the answers, he realized.

---

When Jo got home in the morning, the house appeared to be empty. Humming to herself, she set down her bag on the couch and went into the kitchen. To her surprise, Hani was sitting at the table eating cereal.

"Morning ,Hani!" Jo said with a smile as she walked towards the fridge and searched the for the carton of O.J.

"Hey," Hani said listlessly as she took in the sight of the baggy jersey and jeans that Jo had on.

"So, no early morning class for you today, huh? Me, too. That’s why I love Fridays."

Hani nodded briefly before speaking. "So where were you last night?"

"I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I had wandered onto the set of ‘Judge Judy’. Excuse me." Jo said with a grin.

When Hani didn’t laugh but kept on looking at Jo as if waiting for a reply, Jo knew she wasn’t joking.

"Uh.......I was at Wade’s."

"Oh." With that single word, she managed to convey jealousy, disappointment and hurt. None of which went unnoticed by Jo.

"By the way, I found some stuff in my room." Hani spoke the words after a long silence.

"Oh yeah?"

"I think the previous owner forgot to clear the stuff out."

With that, Hani left the kitchen momentarily before returning with a box, which she handed to Jo.

Sifting through the box, she found a few photographs of herself and Justin, among other odds and ends. Her heart skipped a beat as she went through the photos, evidence of happier times between her and Justin. There was also a t-shirt belonging to Justin in the box and Jo caught a whiff of his cologne emanating from it.

Memories, flooding back.

"So you dated Justin Timberlake, huh?" Hani asked, knowingly, obviously having seen the photographs herself.

"Uh.......yeah." Jo was unsure of her reaction and she knew she couldn’t lie since the evidence was staring her in the face.

"And he was the last occupant of my room?"

Jo nodded.

"Ok."

"So, you’re not going to tell anyone, right?"

"Nah, I’m not a teeny so this tidbit does absolutely nothing for me, sorry." Hani looked bummed about something though and it was obvious that it had something to do with Jo.

After a bit of an awkward silence, Jo excused herself and carried the box into her own room.

In her room, she spread his things out on her bed and examined each one thoroughly. Each item was precious and full of the aura of its owner.

Jo smiled bitterly as she thought about how ironic it was that she was here thinking about Justin and going crazy when he was probably somewhere with Britney right then, forgetting completely about a girl named Joanna Rayes.


"Justin, are you listening to me?" Britney said as she watched Justin spacing out.

He had been watching a little girl who bore a splitting resemblance to Jo and had been shocked when he heard her mother calling her ‘Joanna’.

They were at a shopping mall with members of both Britney’s and Justin’s security teams. He had finished sound checking earlier that day and had managed to weasel Johnny into allowing him and Britney to go out for lunch before the meet & Greet later in the afternoon. He had not counted on seeing the little girl or being reminded of Jo. But then, that had become a regular occurrence in his life now.

"Justin.... ,"Britney said as she shook his arm.

"Hmmmm.......yeah?"

"Are you thinking about her again?" Britney looked sympathetically at her friend. She had grown up with this amazing guy and they shared a special friendship. Little had they expected to both become famous, but their fame had drawn both friends closer to each other.

She was worried about Justin ever since he returned from New York to go back on tour. He had told her about what had happened and for some reason she wasn’t entirely convinced that the girl was the villain in all this as Justin made her out to be.

Justin sighed and nodded slowly as he looked into Britney’s eyes. She had always been there for him and when he had felt like no one else understood him, he knew he could always turn to Britney since she knew exactly what he was going through.

There was a time when he thought that someone else understood him just like Britney did or maybe even better, but all that was over now. Jo had let him down. She had lied to him.

"It’s ok, Justin. It’s ok to think about her. You know that don’t you. You must have cared a great deal for her, so no one’s expecting you to get over her immediately. Take your time." Britney said gently as she led Justin down the rows of boutiques.

A few fans began pointing at the two teenage celebrities and both dutifully smiled and waved at them before continuing with their conversation.

"You don’t understand, Brit. I cared for her, but she turned out to be like ......"

"Yeah, like Leah. But did you give her a chance to explain? To tell you her side of the story?"

"And do what, Britney? Lie to me some more? No, thank you," his eyes flashed in anger as he said the words.

Britney knew that she couldn’t make him see until he was ready to do just that. She could only continue being there for Justin like she had been these last few months. Justin had tried to lose himself in his sorrow by going out with countless other leggy and beautiful girls, but Britney had stepped in and knocked him back to his senses.

But as well as she knew Justin, she also knew that he was very stubborn and had too much pride to admit that he still cared about Jo. She knew that the only way to get him to acknowledge his feelings for Jo was to give him time and space and her support. And she intended to do just that. No one understood his fears about Leah more than he did since she’d been there for him through that incident as well.

She hoped it wasn’t too late for him to get back with Jo. She hoped he’d realize soon that he ,too , loved Jo.

Justin wasn’t paying attention to the concerned look that Britney was giving him just then. All he could think about was what Johnny had told him earlier that morning. The tour would be heading for New York City in a few weeks since they had a few dates scheduled at Madison Square Garden.

How was he going to go back there and face the memories that the city brought him of the times that he had spent with Jo?

---

How Did I Fall In Love With You?

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

(A month later)

Jo was at the campus bookstore looking through a few reference books that she needed when suddenly her cell phone went off.

"Hello?"

"Hey, you!" It was Wade.

"Hi....What’s up?"

"You know how I was supposed to go down with you to that new entertainment center in a couple of days time?"

"Uh-huh?"

"Well, I’m sorry sweetie. I gotta cancel."

"Oh." Jo was disappointed because Wade had been so busy with his classes lately that she rarely got the chance to spend time with him. "Why?" she asked, miserably.

"Well, I totally forgot that *NSYNC are gonna be playing Madison Square Garden on that day. Anyway, Johnny called me up and asked me to drop in on them and see how they are coping with their dancing."

"Oh."

"The thing is, you can tag along with me, if you want to, Jo. Unless...." Wade trailed off, obviously referring to Justin.

She didn’t know what Justin would have to say to her if he saw her at the venue, but she didn’t want to find out.

"I don’t think so, Wade. I don’t think I’d be very comfortable."

"I know it must be difficult for you, it’s just that we haven’t spent a lot of time together recently and I’d like you to be there with me, even if I’m gonna be working part of that time. Besides, it’s not like you don’t know the guys and the people who work for them. They’re crazy about you." Wade chuckled.

"They’re just plain crazy and you know it." Jo said giggling as she casually flipped through a magazine with one hand.

"Jo, I can promise you that you will more than likely, not bump into Timberlake. He’ll be too busy to walk around and bump into you. You can hang out with the other guys, or Dani, or even Bobbie or the soundmen or someone!"

Jo chuckled at Wade’s desperate tone. True, she was not as raw about her emotions, where Justin was concerned, anymore. But she was worried that seeing him again might trigger something in her. On the other hand, she didn’t want to disappoint Wade AND she could always hang with Dani and Rick if all else failed.

"Oh, alright! Stop begging," Jo laughed.

"Yes!" He was glad that he had managed to change her mind.

"But keep me away from Justin, ok?"

"I promise."

"Good."


(Two days later.)

Jo and Wade had just arrived at the large venue of Madison Square Garden. As they both flashed their security passes at the burly security man at the backstage gate, Jo clung to Wade’s arm as if seeking protection.

Even here in the backstage area, Jo could feel Justin. This was his element. This was what Justin was born to do and she was both excited to see first hand what it was all about and yet scared of this unknown part of his life.

Wade looked over at her and took her hand in his understandingly.

"I need to go and see Johnny first. And then, we’ll hang around for a bit before we start rehearsals, ok?" Wade said as he led her through a maze of corridors, obviously no stranger to this place. "Are you hungry?"

"No, I’m good." She smiled reassuringly at him.

Just as they were about to turn the corner that would lead them to Johnny’s office, they bumped into JC.

Jo’s eyes lit up as she threw her arms around his neck without warning.

"Oof......I missed you too ,sweetheart." JC laughed as he felt her clinging to him.

JC looked pleasantly surprised to see her and he grinned at Wade over Jo’s shoulder, in greeting.

Wade chuckled at her enthusiasm before squeezing her shoulder to let her know that he was leaving. He then made his way to Johnny’s office.

When she finally let go of him, he asked, "Why didn’t you tell us you were coming?"

"Well, I didn’t know I was coming until a few days ago. Wade sorta had to persuade me to come."

"Wade had to persuade you to come and see us????? Why??" JC pouted.

"You know why, you big moron. But it’s so good to see you again."

"You too. We missed you, you know?" He smiled in a fatherly manner at her. "So you and Wade huh?"

"Yeah."

He nodded politely but one could tell that he didn’t really approve. But Jo didn’t comment on it. "He’s a great guy."

"Yeah, he is." Her tone of voice made it clear that she wasn’t in the mood for any more lectures or questions on her love life.

"Do you wanna go see the others?"

"I’d love to, but Justin...."

"You can’t run from him forever you know? But if it makes you happy, he went out just now , right after sound check. He’s with uh.........Britney."

Jo pretended not to care but inside she felt a pang. "Do you think he’ll be back in time for Wade’s rehearsal then?"

"Yeah, he will. I’m sure Johnny already called him."

With that, JC brought Jo to a dressing room where she saw Joey and Lance watching TV. When they spotted Jo walking in after JC, the two audibly gasped.

"Heyyyyyyyy.........." Lance said with a grin as he hauled her into his arms, Joey not far behind.

There were plenty of hugs and smiles all around but Jo was most anxious to see Chris. After another ten minutes of Joey and Lance lovin’ and questioning, Chris walked into the dressing room.

Jo squealed and ran into his arms.

"Oh my god, is this a mirage? I know I haven’t eaten yet but are you a hallucination?"

"Hallucinate this, bro!" Jo said with a laugh as she pinched his arm.

"Owwww!!!! Are you sure you miss me? Cos’ I sure as hell would hate to see what you’d do to me if you didn’t."

It took being separated from these four amazing guys to realize how special they were to her. It was worth the risk of bumping into Justin to be reunited with four guys who, as cliched as it may sound, were like the brothers she never had.

"Where’s Dani?" Jo asked Chris.

" She’s out somewhere. Said she’d be back in time for the show though. Boy is she gonna be mad that you didn’t tell her you were coming."

After some time, Wade came into the dressing room and saw Jo in the middle of a touching reunion. He was gratified to see the look of sheer happiness on her face.

"Awww.....if it isn’t the Brady Bunch?" Wade teased.

"Oh god, please don’t tell me that the dream gas become a nightmare already!" Chris groaned as he saw Wade, the person responsible for most of his muscular aches and pains from grueling rehearsals.

"Missed me that much huh, Chris? Well, we have rehearsals in an hours’ time so you won’t miss me for too long."

The guys groaned in reaction as Jo laughed at their responses. They really were entertaining to watch. Hell, who needed television when you had *NSYNC? Besides, the guys belonged on the show ‘Whose Line Is It Anyway?’, she thought.

When Dani arrived a little later, she, the guys, Wade and Jo made their way down to the cafeteria for a lunch gathering. As the friends ate, the caught up on old times.

Finally, it was time for rehearsal and Wade tried to lighten the mood by reassuring them. "Listen guys, its not as if we have to learn new material. We’re just gonna brush up on your current routines ok? It shouldn‘t take too long."

"Somebody get a tape recorder. Then he can’t say that we put words in his mouth!" Chris protested.

Wade slid his arm around Jo’s waist as he whispered something into her ear that made her smile up at him. Finally, he bent down and kissed her sweetly on the lips as a parting gesture.

"Sheesh ,you guys! She’s going to be in the next room, hanging with Dani not vacationing in Russia!" Joey guffawed. Suddenly ,he stopped as his eyes focused on something from the backstage area.

Justin stood behind the couple a little off the stage. As the guys caught sight of him, they all became quiet.

Jo wondered what was going on before turning around and coming face to face with Justin. The fact that she had been so relaxed around the guys earlier had made her forget to stay out of Justin’s sight. They both looked momentarily at each other with equally unreadable expressions, before Jo waved over her shoulder at the guys and left the stage.

When she entered the dressing room and caught sight of Dani, she began to smile at her when she noticed who was with her.

Britney Spears.

Britney looked up from the conversation with Dani and smiled over at Jo.

"Hi." Britney greeted with a shy smile and wave.

Jo nodded almost imperceptibly in her direction before joining Dani on the couch. This was NOT Jo’s idea of hanging out.

"Brit, this is my bestest friend in the whole wide world, Joanna Rayes or you can call her Jo."

"Jo this is the very talented Miss Britney Spears."

Britney’s mouth formed an ‘O’ as she realized who the girl was. And it’s no wonder why she doesn’t seem to like me very much, she thought.

"Nice to meet you, Jo. I’ve heard so much about you." Britney smiled at her.

"You have?" Jo asked incredulously before she realized how come.

Britney chuckled at Jo’s expression. "And yes, most of it was bad. But trust me, if you’ve known Justin as long as I have, then you’d know that where he’s concerned, it’s not what he says about you that’s important, but what he DOESN’T say about you."

Jo actually smiled genuinely at Britney and the two girls giggled knowingly. She was actually a sweet person.

Dani watched in fascination as Jo’s demeanor towards Britney changed from hostility to warmth and friendship.

Some time later, the three girls were chatting like old friends. So when Justin got back from rehearsals and went into the dressing room in search of Britney, he was surprised to find Jo chatting amiably with Britney. His eyes lingered on Jo a few moments longer than necessary, as he took in the sight of her leaning back on the couch and laughing along with the other girls.

Justin cleared his throat to draw attention to himself as three pairs of eyes looked over at him. Jo suddenly clammed up and looked away from Justin’s gaze.

"Are you hungry, Brit?"

"No, not really."

"How about you, Dani?" Justin said, pointedly ignoring Jo.

"Yeah, I could use something to munch on. I’m a little peckish. Ugh......I’m such a pig today! Note to self, never hang around five guys with big appetites."

Dani and Justin left the room leaving the two teenage girls on their own.

"So tell me, Jo, do you miss Justin?"

"N.....not really. Besides, I’m with Wade."

"Uh-huh." Britney grinned, knowingly.

"Are you and Justin, you know......dating?" Jo blurted out.

Britney giggled before answering. "For someone who doesn’t miss Justin you seem to be pretty concerned over whether we’re dating. And no, we’re not dating."

"Are you sure you’re not just saying that?"

"I swear, I’m not dating the guy. We’re friends and have been for a really long time. Trust me I cannot date a guy whom I have seen in a pair of Mouse ears, and take him seriously. That is just not sexy."

Jo smiled at Britney’s vivacious personality. She liked the girl a lot and she was nothing like what she had expected her to be. In fact, she was glad that Justin had someone like Britney to confide in.

"Listen, Jo," Britney said as she began to get serious. "Justin’s been hurt before so he’s pretty vulnerable where his heart is concerned. Cut him some slack ok?"

"Brit, I know you mean well but I have no intention of getting back with Justin."

"You don’t mean that do you? That’s just your pride speaking from being rejected by him." As soon as the words left her mouth, she clapped her hand over it sheepishly. "I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that."

Jo smiled at Britney’s apologetic face. "Nah, I know what you meant."

"It’s just that I don’t want to see you and Justin throw this relationship away like this. It’s obviously a special one."

"I thought so too, Brit." Jo said sadly. "But it’s too late, now."

Britney looked at this girl that she had come to understand and care about in less than a day. She could see the hurt written all over Jo’s face when she talked about Justin and she felt sorry for her. She was just about to say something to her when Wade stepped into the room.

"Hi, Brit!" Britney grinned as she hugged her friend. Wade was a great guy and he was going to make some girl really happy someday, but somehow, she knew that Jo was meant for Justin.

"I was just keeping your little gurlie ,here, company. She’s really nice."

"I know it." He let go of Britney and walked over to where Jo was standing and pulled her up against his side. "I’ll see you later, Brit."

"Sure thing. See you at the VIP Box , Jo?"

"Definitely. Bye."

With that, the two made their way out of the dressing room arm in arm. They didn’t notice Justin returning from the cafeteria just behind them. Justin watched the couple silently for a moment before going inside the dressing room.


Britney sat in Justin’s hotel room after the concert that night. She watched him as he drank a can of Coke and watched MTV.

"Aren’t you gonna ask me anything, J?"

"What about?"

"About, Jo."

"Why should I?" he said stubbornly as Britney grinned, knowingly.

I give him 5 seconds, she thought to herself. 5...4...3...2...

"So how is she?"

Bingo!

"She’s fine. She’s a great girl , J. And I’m finding it harder and harder to believe that she’s anything like Leah."

"You’re just saying that because you just bonded with her. It’s the chick thing," he grunted.

"Yeah, well it’s the chick thing to have intuition about other chicks and she’s a really cool girl as far as I can tell."

"Listen, Brit. I appreciate what you’re doing and all, but stay out of this, ok? Let me be the judge here, ok? After all I dated her. You’ve known her all of, what...... half a day, dammit!"

Britney kept quiet as she watched Justin pretend to concentrate on the show. But she knew him well enough to know that he was thinking about HER. Oh yeah, she was getting to him, alright, she thought with a triumphant smile. Score one for the Spears camp!

Justin watched the images flicker on the screen, numbly. He had stopped breathing earlier when he saw Jo on stage. She was the last person he had expected to see. And yet there she had been. Kissing Wade.

He needed to talk to her for some reason, to get the cards out on the table. Even if it meant that they will both scream at each other, he needed that kind of release. There was too much left hanging there and he wanted some answers. But how was he going to convince Jo that they needed to talk?

"So what are your plans for tomorrow?" Britney asked.

"I have the day off actually..." his voice trailed off as an idea dawned upon him.

He would pay Jo a visit tomorrow. This was not going to be pleasant, but it was necessary for both his and Jo’s continued sanity.

Justin prayed for strength, then.

---

| next - feedbacks - back |
___________________________

Copyright � 2001
LaughingseaL

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws