Dear Journal
By Brittany
- Entry #1 -
Dear Journal,
Well, this is my first entry ever. One of probably
many more. I think this is weird. Ya know? I feel like
I'm talking to myself here. Even when I address it as
'Dear Journal' You're not real. You're a piece of
paper. Or many pieces of paper bounded together. I
guess I'm writing in here because I'm hoping it'll
help clear my mind. Especially with all the stuff I do
a day writing in here or in you will be my way of
clearing my head. My time to be alone with my
thoughts...on paper.
Anyways, even though I know you don't care I'll start
off with the basics about myself. My name is Joshua
Scott Chasez. Known to the world as JC Chasez. To my
parents and childhood friends from before I became
famous on the Mickey Mouse Club as Josh. Actually the
Mickey Mouse Club is when people started calling me JC
because there was already another Josh on the show.
I'm currently 25 years old. My birthday is August 8. I
was born in 1976. To my parents. Karen and Roy Chasez.
I am the oldest of 3 kids. I have a younger sister
Heather who is 23 and a younger brother Tyler who is
19.
I grew up in Bowie, Maryland. Around the age of 13 or
14 I moved down to Orlando, Florida with my Mom. My
dad stayed behind to take care of my brother and
sister. We moved because I got a call saying that I
made the Mickey Mouse Club. I was excited to say the
least. I only auditioned because my friend dared me
too. I remember how nervous I was right before I
auditioned. I would pretend that I didn't care at all
if I made it or not, but secretly I wished I would
make it.
I remember the night I found out I got the call saying
I made the show. It was around 10 at night and
everyone in my house was getting ready to go to bed
when the phone rang. I ran down the stairs in my
underwear. I heard 'You got the gig man' I went
'Ahhhhhh' Threw the phone down and ran down the street
in my underwear. It was February, there was snow on
the ground, and I ran all the way to my best friend
Casey's house in a t-shirt, my underwear, and bare
feet. I knocked on the door and woke him: 'Dude!!
I'm gonna be on TV!' I was 13 at the time. That's
probably my favorite childhood memory.
So I did the show. After 2 years a few new kids came
onto the show. I was then 15 and the youngest person
on our set were actually 2 people. Justin Randall
Timberlake and Britney Spears. They were both 10 at
the time. Justin was from Memphis, Tennessee. They
were both really cool. Despite the age difference me
and Justin became best friends. Justin and Britney
dated. Then after 2 more years the show got cancelled.
I had been on it for 4 years and Justin and Britney
had been on for 2. I was then 17. Justin and Britney
were 12.
All the kids from the Mickey Mouse Club all went to
the same high school. Or at least we did before the
show got cancelled. It was called Dr. Phillips High
School. There I met a kid named Joseph Anthony Fatone
Jr. He at the time when the Mickey Mouse Club got
cancelled was 16 years old. He was cool. We became
friends when I first got on the Mickey Mouse Club.
Joey wasn't in the Mickey Mouse Club, but he was or at
least would later be part of a group called The Big
Guys. Joey had moved to Florida when he was 13. He
moved there with his whole family from Brooklyn, New
York.
Well, for now that's all I have time to write. I will
continue about my life in my next entry. It's nice to
be able to share most of my life story without being
interrupted or being asked questions. I don't feel like
I have to tell you. But it's refreshing to just say
what I want to say and have no one criticize me or
anything.
Ok, well now I really gotta stop writing. I'll write
more later!
Josh (a.k.a. JC)
Dear Journal
- Entry #2 -
Dear Journal,
Ok. Hey well I got cut short last time I wrote in
here. Which was yesterday. So now I'm gonna write some
more. Although you're a piece of paper so why the hell
would you care? Alright I guess I'll continue writing
from where I left off about my past and how I got
where I am today, and about my life, and all that good
stuff. Can ya feel my excitement?
Ok. So I became friends with Joey. Or at least friends
with him in school. I never hung out with him out of
school. I lost touch with him after the Mickey Mouse
Club got cancelled.
Justin and I wrote to each other and called each other
once in a while just to see what's up and stuff. Justin
stayed in Florida and at first I went back home to
Maryland and then eventually I moved to Los Angeles
and I would sing on demos for people and back up. See
when I did the Mickey Mouse Club, I found my passion
in life. I knew what I wanted to do for the rest of my
life. So I lived in LA for a few months and eventually
I got a phone call that would change my life forever.
I was 19. Summer was almost over and I got a call from
Justin. I hadn't talked to the kid in like a few
months so I was just like ok. Well it turns out Justin
and some other guys were starting a vocal group and he
wanted me to go down and join the group. So of course
I went back down to Florida and there I met up with
Justin and this guy Chris.
Now Chris was 24 and he acted like he was younger than
me. Maybe younger than Justin's age of 14. So we sang
together and we knew something was missing.
One night we were out at a club and we saw Joey. So we
all went up to talk to him about starting a group and
he decided to join us. It was funny though cause I
knew him from school and Chris knew him from working
at Universal Studios. Oh I forgot to tell ya how Chris
and Justin met. Basically Chris knew Justin because
they'd been to a lot of the same auditions for groups
and eventually called Justin up.
So there was now me, Chris, Justin, and Joey. We
needed a bass singer. There was this one guy who was
in the group named Jason but he quit cause he didn't
think we were ever going to make it.
Justin called his vocal coach back in Tennessee and
asked him if he knew of anyone who could sing bass and
might be interested in joining our little group. He
gave us the name of this kid James Lance Bass. So
Justin called James and the poor kid thought it was a
joke and it was the night of his homecoming. Luckily
James decided to fly down from Clinton, Mississippi
the next day with his mom to check this thing out.
So when we first sang together we KNEW that was the
final group. Our voices just blended together so well.
So James moved down to Florida and we all started
practicing in this old warehouse during the day and
then at night we would go to bars and clubs and force
our acapella down peoples throats while they
were trying to eat.
Eventually we started to do schools and the people
really liked us. The whole time we were still trying
to get a record deal. Oh yeah and James became known
to us as Lance and also to the rest of the world
(eventually). Ok, So eventually we got a record deal
with RCA records and our manager was Lou Pearlman
(damn bastard! more on that later). We went over to
Europe to record our first CD. By then I was 20,
Justin was 15, Lance was 17, Joey was 19, and Chris
was 25. The first song we recorded was 'I Want You
Back' Have you heard of it?
We became a HUGE hit over is Europe and eventually we
came home to release our debut CD over here in the
U.S. It was weird at first. Over in Europe we'd get
mobbed by fans and people ALWAYS asking us for our
autographs. But when we came home we were nobodies and
no one ever asked for an autograph. We weren't famous.
We were just us.
We released our first song I Want You Back and it did
pretty good. Then we release Tearing Up My Heart and we
just BLEW UP!! We were everywhere. By then I was 21,
Justin 16, Lance 18, Joey 20, Chris 26. Yep that's when
everything began. We sold altogether NOW 10 million
albums. I think. So we started making appearances,
performing, photo shoots, everything. We were every
where. We went on with Janet Jackson (damn she hot)
for her Velvet Rope Tour as an opening act.
People would boo us when we first got on stage but by
the end of our 5 or 6 song set we had them man. Next
we went on to do our own tour called the "Ain't No
Stopping Us Now Tour." THAT was fun. That's something
I'll never forget. It was like we never knew what to
expect each day and it was all so new. So many fans
and stuff. It was just like WOAH!
A year and a half later when we were working on our
2nd album we found out that Lou had been stealing or
taking money from us. So we ended up in court because
of that and also so we could get away from RCA and go
over to JIVE Records so we could have more creative
control on our music and not be told what we have to
do.
That whole court thing was hard on us man. There were
days when the guys and I just wanted to call it quits
and give up. Oh yeah. There's something else I forgot
to mention. The guys they're like my brothers.
Seriously. They are my best friends and I love them
like they're my brothers. We're all so different yet
we are all best friends. So anyways we didn't quit or
give up and in the end we won.
We signed with JIVE and got creative control over our
music. I produced a lot of the tracks off that album
and wrote or co-wrote songs on the album along with
Justin. See I love the studio. I love producing,
writing, singing, and playing (with instruments, I
play keyboard, guitar, and a little drums even though
we dance)music. The studio is like my home. If I could
I would just live in there for days, weeks, or even
months at a time.
So by this time I was 23. Yep that's when things got
even crazier when the guys and I thought it could
never happen. We released our first single off the
album called "Bye Bye Bye" People went CRAZY over it.
Like you wouldn't believe. WOW!! So then we released
our 2nd album 'No Strings Attached' I will never
forget how excited me and the guys were when we found
out our album sold 1.1 million copies in the first day
and 2.4 million copies in the first week. 2.4 million
man. Wow. We now hold the record for the most albums
sold in one week and one day.
We were getting onto a plane when our phones rang and
that's when we found out how many albums we sold. We
stated running around giving EVERYONE in sight hugs
and we just basically went nuts. That was one of the
best days of my life.
So then we started our 2nd tour the "No Strings
Attached Tour" We played stadiums and arenas.
STADIUMS. I never ever thought we would be that big.
But little did I know we would just get bigger.
So we continued doing our usual appearances, photo
shoots, interviews, and everything else. In January we
went to work on our 3rd album. I was then 24. That
album took us so long to do. Justin and I ended up
writing 11 out of 13 of the tracks and producing them.
Lance and Joey were also working on filming a movie,
Justin spent time with his girlfriend, and Chris just
did his clothing line (yes he has his own clothing
line). And me well I just worked on producing for
other people.
Our first single off that album was "Pop" which was a
big hit. On July 24, our 3rd album "Celebrity" (no we
don't think of ourselves like that. We're making FUN
of ourselves). Celebrity sold 1 million copies in the
first day and 1.8 or 1.9 million in the first week. We
now hold for #1 and #2 record for most albums sold in
a week.
A few days later I turned 25. We were in the middle of
an ALL STADIUM tour!! We had 81 traveling semi's w/
us. The biggest tour in the history of pop music and
stuff. So then we got to perform with Michael Jackson.
Michael Jackson. He's the coolest. I was seriously
star struck when I met him. I officially know how all
our fans feel when they meet their favorite
celebrities.
So all that leads up to where I am today. On a
vacation. My first vacation in like 2 years. The guys
and I have all gone somewhere for vacation. Joey's on
vacation with his baby daughter Brianna and
girlfriend, Chris is working on FuMan Skeeto (his
clothing line), Lance is filming another movie, Justin
is off vacations with his girlfriend, family, friends,
and me, well I decided to go to a place I have missed
more than anything. HOME. I missed being home and not
having to worry about doing stuff. So the date is now
the 28 of September the year 2001 and I am home.
So there's my story on how I got into the "World's
Biggest Band" NSYNC. For now I will go watch TV or
perhaps I will go visit an old friend of mine who I
haven't spoken to in a long time. Since she broke my
heart when I was 20. I think I'll go visit Nikki. I'll
tell ya how well that goes over when ever I get around
to writing in here again.
Josh (aka JC)
Dear Journal
- Entry #3 -
Dear Journal,
Dear Journal
Dear Journal,
Hey!!! I haven't written in here for like 3 days. I've
been spending ALL my spare time with Nikki. So I need
to tell you how things went. Also exactly what
happened between me and Nikki 5 years ago.
Alright. This whole thing started back in the days of
the Mickey Mouse Club. Nikki was also on the show with
me. When we were 15 we started dating. We dated for
about 5 years. Of course like any other couple we had
a few break ups here and there. Over the normal dumb
things or just plain wanting to see other people and
explore our options.
When I was 20 and we went over to Europe for the first
time is when everything went down. While I was over
there of course I was lonely but I never cheated on
her in any way, shape, or form. When I came back I
could tell something was wrong with Nikki. After
awhile she finally told me what was wrong. It was the
last thing in the world I would have ever expected.
I found out that she couldn't deal with me being away
all the time and she cheated on me. She apologized
over and over the whole time in tears. I forgave her
because in the back of my mind I knew something like
that would probably happen.
Even though I forgave her my heart never did. It felt
like my heart had been ripped out again and again when
she told me. I had loved her more than anything else
in the world. So because of trust issues we eventually
broke up. Ever since then I've had dead end
relationships because if the one person I thought I
could trust with my life cheated on me why should I
trust anyone else? I have never really been able to
trust anyone else since then.
Basically I hadn't really spoken to Nikki since then.
Well that is until the other day. God she looked
beautiful. She was surprised to say the least to see
me. She still keeps apologizing for cheating on me all
those years ago. She hasn't dated since then because
she is too ashamed of herself and her actions to see
anyone else.
So basically the other day and the past few days we've
been talking everything over. I have so much fun when
I'm with her. When I'm with her I don't feel like I'm
JC Chasez of NSYNC. I feel like a normal person again.
She always did have that effect on me.
You know I caught myself thinking about possibly
dating her again. Ya know? Kinda like a second try.
What do you think I should do?
I mean when I saw her the other day for the first time
in 5 years I fell in love with her all over again. Yep
I never really got over her. As hard as I tried to I
just could never do it.
So for the past few days we've just been hanging out.
The first day we just talked the whole time. The next
day we decided to re-live some childhood memories and
went to Disney World. That was a blast. Yesterday we
just stayed in all day and watched movies together.
Today we went to the mall and to the park. I just feel
so happy lately. A lot happier than I have felt in a
long time ago.
See when we broke up I felt like a part of me had
died. I didn't feel whole. I felt like half of me was
missing. She is my other half. But I think I'm going
to spend the rest of the month I have off hanging out
with Nikki and maybe in that time something will
happen. Maybe not. We'll see. Only time will tell. So
I will write in here whenever I get around to it.
Josh (a.k.a. JC)
- Entry #4 -
Wow!! It's been a little over a month since I last
wrote in here. I'm back on another tour with the guys
and I'm in my bunk at the moment. I love touring.
Seeing all the fans and performing every night.
Originally our break that we had we were supposed to
be touring over in Europe since we've kind of
neglected those fans. But due to scheduling problems
we got a break instead.
Anyways. Things are going GREAT between me and Nikki.
So great in fact that we have decided to give dating
another try. I just hope that she doesn't cheat on me
again.
This may have been a stupid decision on my part.
Especially if she does cheat on me again I don't think
I'll be able to take all that pain again. I barely
survived last time. If it weren't for the guys and my
family I probably would have stopped talking to
people. I actually did try to do that but it didn't
work.
So we've been on tour for about 2 weeks now and Nikki
is coming out in another 2 weeks or so. We've probably
been dating again for about 3 weeks maybe. I don't
really know. The vacation that the guys and I got was
exactly what we all needed. We were able to just sit
back, clear our minds, and just be ourselves for a
while.
See now that I'm seeing Nikki again I also have to be
very careful not to cheat on her. Cause when I go to
parties and get a little drunk the temptations are
always there and it's harder to not give in to the
temptation when you're drunk than when you're actually
sober.
The guys will help me though. They won't let me give
into the temptations. I also have to help Joey to make
sure he doesn't do anything too stupid. The Flirt of
the group, the Ladies Man, is now a dad and he asked
his girlfriend to marry him over our vacation.
I'm excited for them. They're perfect for each other.
They've been together since high school. They used to
have an on again off again relationship but I guess
he's finally ready to settle down. Man I never thought
Joey would be the first one out of all of us to get
married or have a kid. I mean isn't he the one that's
afraid of making a commitment and here he is getting
married? I guess in time we all grow up and have to
face our fears. I always thought Lance would be the
first one to settle down. That dude's got his life
more together than the rest of us half the time.
Someday I want a family. I want to have a few kids. I
really want a little girl. If things continue to go
good with me and Nikki maybe someday we'll get married
and start our own family. I know she wants to have
kids. Ever since we were teenagers I've been able to
see my future with her in the picture. We would get
married, have kids, and live happily ever after.
5 years ago that dream was shattered. But now it's
slowly being put back together again. Slowly that
dream of mine, actually it was a dream that we both
had, is being put back together with a few different
things. My career and her career as a dolphin trainer
at Sea World.
I think that maybe I'll be the next one to get
married. Or maybe Justin. Lance well he's single and
says he's too busy to have any type of relationship.
Chris, poor Chris, he and his girlfriend of 2 1/2
years have broken up. I can tell it's really bothering
him although he just plays it off. I wish I could help
him like he helped me when me and Nikki broke up. But
I don't know how. All I know is how to be a good
friend to him and support any decisions he makes and
stuff like that. I just hope that's enough.
Well anyways I just heard Justin call my name. I think
we're at our next stop. Because we're on tour and it's
so crazy around here I don't know when I'll be able to
write in here again. It might be a long time. Anyways
adios off to another performance!!!!!
Josh (aka JC)