| JACK HANDY |
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| �As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.�
�Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.� �Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.� �I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.� �I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it.� �I think a good product would be "Baby Duck Hat." It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head. Then you go swimming underwater until you find a mommy duck and her babies, and you join them. Then all of the sudden, you stand up out of the water and roar like Godzilla. Man those ducks really take off! Also Baby Duck Hat is good for parties.� �If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.� �If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.� �If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because, man, they're gone.� �If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact.� �If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.� |