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The ocean rippled gently. Clear blue and endless. Jen looked down into the water gazing at her reflection. Her skin looked so pale Jen noted as she stared at her reflection in the clear blue water. Her hair was spun golden touched by the rays of the sun and she almost looked angelic. She seemed unusually drawn to her own reflection, unable to believe it was really her. Jen titled her head and watched as her other self mimicked her actions. Child-like. A small rush of water broke the image so that Jen's face became distorted, changing with the movement of the sea until the image completely transformed. A small gasp escaped Jen's mouth. Jen was no longer looking at a image of herself instead there was another. Joey stood in the water, her image reflecting back. She seemed almost alive, her face impassive as she walked around calmly moving in a fluid motion which was in sync with the tides. Joey's eyes were piercing as if she could see Jen and Jen thought she could see her name being whispered silently by Joey. Simultaneously their right hands moved, Joey's hand reaching out from the water while Jen's hand moved towards the water. Only their hands never touched. The ocean had become a crystal barrier, still-like glass separating the two girls. Jen found herself beating against the frozen blue crystal glass trying to shatter the wall between them. Joey stood, staring at her friend�s actions with a detached curiosity. Then the water moved. Joey was gone, washed away with the tide.
Jack stared worriedly at Jen. The dreams had not only become more frequent but also had increased in intensity. Jen's arms were failing about and she seemed to be silently screaming Joey's name over and over again. Sweat dropped from her forehead as Jack dipped the cloth in the cool basin of water and wiped Jen's burning face. Her visions were so severe that Jen had been in almost a catatonic state all day. Pacey was meant to be arriving any day soon and Jack hoped that together they could help Jen. And Joey. In fact Jack knew Pacey was almost here, that his return to the Isle of Guawyn would occur soon; each day Jack could feel Pacey's presence edging closer and closer to the Isle. Even though Jack has strengthened his power and his mental block was now extraordinarily strong the faint dull throb of Pacey's anguish still remained in the deep recesses of Jack's consciousness. Pacey had traveled all around Nova, millions of miles away and yet Jack could still feel. Distance was the only thing that subsided the emotional ache but time had not lessened Pacey's pain. Now as Pacey drew closer and closer to the Isle the anguish increased. Jack could feel it more alive, more intense than ever and he was unsure how his childhood friend bore the pain. A pain of such great magnitude that at times it seemed the world of Nova was crying with Pacey, slowly being torn apart and destroyed by pure emotion. There were days when Jack felt like everything was helpless and all he wanted to do was spend the rest of his days in melancholy, sobbing his heart out. Emotions that were not his but Pacey's. Yet just as the pain and anguish was incredibly intense so was Pacey's determination. He would not give up. It was almost as if Pacey was incapable of giving up. Joey was constantly on Pacey's mind. Not just the loss of Joey but the will and need to somehow, some way find Joey again. To be with Joey again. Jack felt privileged to be able to feel even in the slightest magnitude the purity of Pacey's love for Joey. At times he was envious, things between Jack and Jen were progressing well but he was unsure if what they had could ever be compared to what Pacey and Joey had. Then there were times when Jack was glad because he understood and was privy to some of the emotional turmoil that Pacey suffered. It was not that Pacey could not live without Joey it was rather that he did not want to. From what Jack could understand Pacey had found a love that enhanced his world and now the thought of living without it was impossible. How could one truly expect to go back? In cliched terms it was like life before was black and white and Joey had been Pacey's color or that everything had once been two-dimensional and with Joey everything had become three-dimensional. You simply could not forget the new perspective because it changed everything and you simple couldn't go back. You didn't want to. So his friend suffered and at times Jack wondered if it was worth it. To love someone so truly and with all your being. And then he would get glimpses, moments when Pacey remembered the times Pacey spent with Joey. The moments of pure joy and happiness. And then Jack understood. It did not matter; the pain of separation, the anguish of loss. In the end it was worth it. So they would find Joey. Because Pacey needed her and loved her. But more importantly because she was a friend.
The gentle rock of the boat soothed most people asleep but Pacey dared not close his eyes. He felt overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by his dreams and the unobtainable. He wondered what Jen was dreaming. He wondered what it was like, to be caught up in an almost perpetual cycle of uncontrollable prophetic sights. He wondered if it was like his own life, his own dreams, his own hauntings. The waves rolled the boat right and left, a steady rhythm. His eyelids felt heavy. He blinked once or twice trying to remain awake but tiredness and exhaustion was defeating him. His eyes closed and sleep and dreams came once more.
The cold waves chilled her toes. She was walking along a strip of beach, grainy sand beneath her feet and she was ready to walk until forever. The air was cold with a bite and her body shivered instinctively. All around her was darkness and she wrapped her arms around her chest and continued to walk leaving footprints in the sand. Her mind was full of clarity, hindsight, foresight; the point was she could see. She could see the past as it really had been, she could see the present as it really was and she could see the future as it should be. It was a blinding, dismal clarity littered with mistakes. She was so goddamn scared. Terrified of everything. Scared that she wasn�t good enough, scared she might never leave this world she was in, scared to leave. She was frightened of the unknown, terrified of the mystery and excitement although she longed for it. Scared of intimacy, scared that someone would look at her and really see her, scared to be exposed and vulnerable. It really was very cold as she walked but she continued. She continued as if she had no other choice, maybe she didn't, because she wasn�t ready to go back. He appeared almost suddenly like a phantom from her past. �You can�t walk forever Joey.� He stood there in front of her, blocking her path. �Maybe not but I can try.� She answered. She took a step forward but he was still there. He wrapped his arms around her and embraced her into his warmth. She sobbed and he let her cry, his hands gently soothing. �Pacey I�m scared.� She cried. �So am I.� He confessed. They held each other tightly and let the waves crash over their feet. Later he carried her away from the water and gently laid her down onto the sand. He lay down onto the sand himself and they clung onto one another, an old worn blanket from the back of Pacey�s truck covering their bodies. �You can see the stars.� She whispered. �It�s a clear night.� He noted. �No clouds in the night sky.� �I�m glad you�re here.� �I have no where else to go.� His lips brushed the top of her forehead and she allowed herself the pleasure of his touch. She closed her eyes and savored the softness of his lips. He lay very still as she slowly unbuttoned his shirt. As each button came undone she would sneak a glance at him but his face remained impassive, simple watching her as she moved. Her hands trailed down his chest feeling the prickle of hair and smooth skin. Slowly she reached for the bottom of her singlet before casually pulling it over her head releasing the upper half of her body from clothes. His hands cupped her breasts, lightly massaging them. She groaned a little and edged her body closer to his. Her hands moved down to fiddle with his zipper but he stopped her. �Don�t.� He uttered. She looked at him, her eyes wide, confused. �You�re not ready. I�m not ready. Let�s just have this without further complications.� He explained. It was already complicated. Pacey and Joey frantically making out on a deserted beach, reckless and wild. Dry humping with the majority of their clothes in tact. He didn�t want further complications. He didn�t want to spoil the moment with consequences. He did however let her touch him. He did allow himself the pleasure of her touch. He needed it. Human contact. And he reciprocated it in kind. The waves crashed and the sea grew turbulent. The wind was picking up, a cold wind. Darkness surrounded them; two figures, limbs entangled huddled together for warmth as the coldness took over. She was so cold, freezing in fact. He tried to warm her with his touch but she shivered and shivered and could not stop. Her lips were growing blue. Her whole body was pale with a bluish tinge. He wrapped his arms around her, tried to protect her from the cold, tried to protect her from himself�tried. He began to shiver himself and felt the icy coldness of water lapping at his feet. The tide had come in. He moved by instinct away from the seawater and realized his arms were empty. Devoid of her. He wasn�t sure if the coldness had finally gotten to her or if she had been swept away with the tide but the ocean was vast and endless and the wind was bitingly cold. He was chilled and he was alone.
When he opened his eyes it was morning. The sky was blue and the water no longer spanned until forever. In a distance he could see land. His dream was over, at least for the night. The brisk cool breeze of the morn fully awakened Pacey. He watched as the people on the ship came alive, busying themselves with their morning tasks, but his eyes were fixed to the horizon. |
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