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Chapter 38 - Low Road to the Mountain

It was nearly sunrise by the time Dick caught up with Selina. He�d searched every borough in the city, from Tricorner to the Upper East Side to the Hill. Hours of searching and here she was, sitting on the El line deep in the heart of Crime Alley, probably waiting for him. She certainly wasn�t trying to catch the subway out to Robbinsville: trains hadn�t run over the elevated track at night in nearly six years. Native East Enders knew not to take the subway cutting through Crime Alley after midnight.

�Get anything from your sources?� Nightwing asked Catwoman as he landed beside her on the El track.

She shook her head. �Nothing. The Ottisburg killer isn�t connected to anything in Crime Alley. I guess I was wrong about that.�

�It was a good theory, Selina. Nine times out of ten, it�s either a theme criminal or some psycho from the Bowery responsible for these kind of things,� Dick told her, thinking that maybe he was talking too much. He was sure she could hear the nervous edge in his voice.

Selina curled up her legs and rested her chin on her knees. She was looking north, towards Amusement Mile. Dick had often wished Wayne Enterprises would buy the old fairgrounds and demolish the entire strip. There was something about dilapidated roller coasters and broken Ferris wheels that attracted theme criminals. The Joker had stationed his last three headquarters in the old fairgrounds.

�I remember watching the lights from here,� she told Dick. �You could see the big Ferris wheel from the rooftop of our apartment building. I guess I was too young to realize how tacky neon really is. I used to think the colors were the most beautiful thing I�d ever seen. My mother-�

Selina swallowed hard past the roughness in her voice. �She took Maggie and I to Our Lady of Sorrows once, for afternoon mass. The way the sunlight hit the stained-glass windows, I really thought, just for a moment, that there was something more beautiful in the world than the neon at the pier. The lights have all gone out now, Dick.�

Dick touched her shoulder, not knowing what to say. Or how to explain to her that Bruce�s plan would work itself out. Selina seemed so fragile suddenly. He�d never have expected her to react the way she did at the crime scene in Ottisburg. Then Dick remembered a story Alfred had told him once. When Bruce was younger before going overseas to begin his training, he couldn�t even look at a gun without losing control. And Selina was, what? Not even thirty. Bab�s age. Why did he expect her to be so hard when faced with her worst nightmares? Dick was still terrified of Two-Face, Barbara broke into a cold sweat whenever the Joker broke out of Arkham, and Bruce�Bruce had felt it necessary to force himself to buy a gun.

�There are still lights out there,� Dick told her softly, pointing the Upper East Side and Miller Harbor in the distance. And the RKM Bridge, illuminated with blue and red beacons at the tops of the suspension towers.

�Do you believe in him, Dick? Can you trust him to do the right thing?�

�Absolutely,� Dick said quickly. �He�ll do the right thing, Selina.�

�And what do you think �the right thing� is, boy scout?�

Dick hung his head. Selina stood.

�No easy answers in Gotham, remember? But if he drags another child into his world-�

She broke off. The Oracomm channel had begun to beep in their ears. Selina turned to Dick, his masked face reflected in her goggles.

�He already asked Lucy, didn�t he?�

Dick continued to stare at the fairgrounds. Selina�s mouth tightened and she uncoiled the whip from around her waist. She dove off the El track as Dick answered Oracle�s signal. Babs fed him the information and Dick watched Selina move like a shadow across the city towards the RKM Bridge and Bristol.

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For the last time, Selina let herself up into the manor proper from the Batcave below. She didn�t bother to remove her costume. Bruce was still up, standing at the window, watching the city as the sun rose. He turned when she entered the room.

She stood there in the doorway, sunlight bright in her eyes. Bruce was a dim outline against the rising light. She saw him move toward her and she retreated a bit, keeping a wide physical distance between them.

�Lucy?�

Bruce pointed to the bed. There, amid the tumble of linen and comforters lay the small child, her tear-streaked face composed in uneasy sleep. Mr. Pickles and Stevie stood guard on either side of her small, imperfect body.

�Was it bad, Bruce?� Selina asked. �Did she cry out?�

He wouldn�t look at her.

�She told us who did it,� he informed Selina. �A man from Ottisburg whose family was murdered by the Joker six years ago when Bane freed all the Arkham inmates. He would have kept going. He wanted a body count to rival the Joker�s, Selina. We wouldn�t have guessed unless Lucy-�

Selina held up her hand, stopping his soft words of explanation. The sun was higher behind him now, and she could see his eyes.

�I-� she stopped, her voice breaking. Selina let out a long, shuddering breath and continued. �How could you?�

�What did you expect me to do?� he asked her quietly. �How many more would it have taken before you realized how necessary it was? I made the choice so you didn�t have to.�

She stared at him in shock. Bruce was only waiting, his expression as closed to her as ever. Six months, and she still couldn�t read his eyes.

�What you did was unforgivable,� she told him softly. �You should have-�

�I did what I had to do, Selina,� he said tiredly. �What I�ve always done. Pass judgment if you like, but-�

She strode forward, tearing her mask off her face and throwing it into a corner of the room. �Pass judgment? I don�t even know what to think! Do you have any idea what it means that you�re willing to use a child for�� Selina trailed off, narrowing her eyes. �Of course you do,� she whispered. �You�ve always known what it means to bring a child into our world. Bruce, how can you live with yourself?�

He fixed cold, penetrating eyes on her and Selina lowered her head. She knew how he lived.

�I thought you were a hero,� she whispered. �I�I owe everything to you. How can you�how can you be this person?�

�I never pretended to be anything more than I am, Selina,� he told her.

She raised glistening eyes to his own, her heart tearing inside of her. �You are the only decent man I have ever known. You�re telling me he never existed.�

He continued to watch her mutely.

She lowered her head, sad and silent. He was a stranger to her again.

�I want to host a dinner party,� she said. �Invite all of them. Tonight. Tell Alfred I�ll pay for the catering.�

�Why?�

She turned to him, her eyes fired by the sun, magnificent in her anger and terrible beauty. �Just get them here. I want a vote for Lucy.�

�Selina-� he began, his voice hardening. �Selina, this isn�t a democracy. And I don�t think that-�

�Just tell them about the dinner.�

She crossed the room and climbed into bed, drawing Lucy into her arms. The little girl seemed to recognize Selina�s presence. Lucy sighed in contentment, the darkness over her features lifting a little.

�Now get out.�

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Lucy�s screams woke her at five o�clock. The child clutched Selina madly, torn from her dreams by visions she couldn�t escape. Selina held her gently and touched her face, rocking her slowly, murmuring words of comfort she remembered saying to someone else before. Maggie, maybe.

�It�s okay. Shhhh�� she whispered. Lucy�s sobs finally quieted to sniffles and Selina retrieved a box of Kleenex from the bedside table, wiping the little girl�s face. Lucy�s hair was a nest of tangles, her nightgown rumpled and twisted around her legs. Selina straightened the gown and the sheets, sitting up so Lucy could curl next to her.

�Do you want to talk about it?� Selina offered. Lucy shook her head, burying her face against Selina. It was a long time until the child stopped shaking.

�Lucy,� Selina asked in a low tone of comfort, �were you dreaming about something bad?�

The child nodded. �I saw a bad man,� she said in a shaking voice. �Mr. Bruce wanted me to. He said that he would catch the bad man if I told him how.�

�He did, Lucy,� Selina told her, kissing the top of the child�s head. �But he shouldn�t have asked you to help.�

�I want him to like me,� Lucy confessed in a small voice. �He�s sad and lonely sometimes. So am I. Are you mad at Mr. Bruce?� Lucy asked hesitantly.

Selina nodded, biting her lip. Lucy hugged Stevie and Mr. Pickles tighter.

�Don�t leave, okay?�

�I won�t leave you,� she promised quickly, tilting Lucy�s chin up so she could meet the little girl�s eyes. �You know that, don�t you?�

�I can�t tell sometimes,� Lucy replied, sniffing. �You�re dark, Selina. I can�t tell if you�re going to be okay.�

Selina hugged her tightly. �I�m a survivor, kid. It�s my job to be okay.�

�What about Mr. Bruce?�

�Have you seen something about him, Lucy?�

Lucy wrinkled her nose. �It changes. Sometimes he�s happy. Sometimes he�s not. I saw him once as an old man in a big, empty house. Another time he was building robot Batmen. And he had a son, not just Dick. I couldn�t figure it out.� Lucy sighed. �I wish Miss Misery was here sometimes. She was good at telling me what stuff meant.�

�Can you ever turn it off?� Selina asked, stroking the child�s bare arm. Lucy�s skin felt cold.

She shrugged. �It�s hard, but I can stop doing it during the day except when someone touches me. But at night�� The child seemed unwilling to continue her sentence.

�The night is tough for everyone,� Selina agreed. They sat silently for a long time.