Conversations, Reflections & Meditations


	Main Page \| My Articles for The Life Connection \| Prayers and Meditations \| Poetry Haida Gwaii Reflections \| Education & Home-School \| Family
Sign Guestbook \| View Guestbook Comments? Questions? [email protected]	Prayer topics Repenting, Humbling, Committing Myself... Seeking God's Glory Submission to my Husband Seeking Approval From My Children and Others Our Church Needs Your Power and Glory... But Repentance First Intensive Repentant Prayer and Fasting I Want God Alone! I Want People to See God (Not Me) God's Almighty Transforming Power Poured Out in Our Midst Repenting, Humbling, Committing Myself... Seeking God's Glory Date: October 27, 2004 I’ve been reading Extreme God Chasers. The story the author told about the power of God coming down in a service he was at, was exactly the kind of thing I’ve longed to see and experience. Oh yes, I have in the past had some pretty intense experiences… but I want to know the real power of God. I want to see His glory! Reading this book I have realized some things. We need to really repent, really humble ourselves, really pursue God, without being willing to settle for less than all His Glory. God won’t give us all His glory as long as we are only halfway committed, as long as we hold anything back. For me that includes my relationship with my husband and kids, and my lack of submission to my husband. No excuses will do! And without the glory of God, our cell church system is just that, another system, another programmed approach. While I was reading I got so convicted, so desperate, that I threw myself face down on the floor and wept. Then when I was reading again, every so often something would really grab me – God talking right to me – and I would just burst out crying or laughing. And praying in tongues, way more than I have for so long, maybe more than ever before. But I was afraid maybe it was just me being emotional and wondered if it was really God talking. Return to the top Submission to My Husband Date: October 27, 2004 Then I went to a different life group, and they were discussing Ephesians, and God’s requirements for husbands and wives, and about submission. And oh, I just was so overwhelmed, yes, God was speaking to me from that book, and that is the number one area where I must lay myself on the altar of sacrifice and totally give up all my feelings, pain, anger, independence, plans, dreams… before God can really reveal His glory, reveal Himself to my in that powerful way which I have longed for so long. How can I truly love God when I don’t truly love my husband? I was just speechless, and tears were coming down my cheeks. Return to the top Seeking Approval From My Children and Others Date: October 27, 2004 The other thing I got there was that I have to give up my obsessive need for approval from people and even from God. When I was reading the book, the kids kept popping in, and every time I heard them coming I’d jump back up (from praying prostrate before God) and try not to act weird! I kind of let loose with ___ a bit, trying to explain a bit what I was hearing and discovering from God, but when she said I get kind of “insane” when I get hyper, I kind of just clammed up. So I knew right then when those things were happening with the kids that I was quenching the Spirit. And I did it at the life group, too. I couldn’t stop the tears from coming, but I sure managed to hang onto my composure otherwise, and didn’t say what God was really showing me because I was afraid of what they already thought about my tears, and what they’d think if I went further, or talked about what God was really showing me. Return to the top Our Church Needs Your Power and Glory... But Repentance First Date: October 27, 2004 And when I was reading this morning I was so convicted that our church is not going places because we don’t have the real power and glory of God. Oh, once in awhile we have a “moving” Sunday morning worship, but that’s about it. Our life groups are perhaps growing a bit, but not like God wants. Because we sit around and have our little discussions and sing our little tunes and talk about how wonderful it is that we’re following the cell church model. Well, one thing that a cell church or any church, any gathering of believers, needs is really truly deep repentance and sorrow and humility and willingness to totally lay each of ourselves on the altar and die as a total sacrifice to God… every aspect of our beings. Total sorrow for our sins, the sins of our families, churches, community, region, world. Return to the top Intensive Repentant Prayer and Fasting Date: October 27, 2004 Until we reach that point, which includes a huge amount of deep, intensive, repentant and intercessory prayer and fasting (which we do not do) then we’re just going to keep sitting around and talking about how we should operate our cells and our church, and complain and criticize our leaders and our path, instead of praying, praying, praying for them and truly supporting them. Until we do that, we’re really just playing church. Sure, once in a while we get a “blessing,” but are we actually getting God? No! Because if we were, we’d get blown away! We are willing to settle for so little, a few converts and baptisms, a few good services, a couple new life groups, a very occasional healing. But oh, oh, oh how much we are missing. Return to the top I Want God Alone! I Want People to see God!(Not Me) God's Almighty Transforming Power Poured Out in OUr Midst Date: October 27, 2004 I don’t care so much about “blessings” or even “gifts” anymore. I want God Himself in His power and glory. Yes, I know He is “dangerous.” I know it will truly take death of all I hold dear. But without really pursuing God and experiencing Him on that level, what really is the point? No wonder most people don’t go to churches. They truly don’t see anything really worth having in the lives of most Christians. People are spiritually hungry, they can’t help it, God made them that way, and He’s pursuing them – but His plan is to use us – for people to see Him rather than us (no matter how nice and spiritual we might be) when they look our way. And how are they going to see Him, when we’re holding so much back? We’re so easily contented with scraps of things, gifts, blessings, when our Father really want to give Himself. But we don’t want to go that far. Or do we? I want to. I want to throw myself on the altar of sacrifice and die to all that is me. I want God alone. I want people who know nothing of God (other than the empty longing in their heart) to be able to just look my way or stand beside me, and see God! (not me). "God's Almighty Transforming Power Poured Out in Our Midst" I want to pray and pray and pray, and fast and fast. I want to fall on my face before God. I want to get together with God’s people and weep and cry and intercede for my family, my friends and relatives, my life group, my church, the church of Christ in this community, the huge masses of lost people in this town. I want to see my church repent so deeply that people going by will be pulled inside, and stumble to the altar and cry out to God in repentance, and be saved and baptized and know God! And then go out and pull others in. I want the power to go out of the church door and down the streets of my neighborhood and city and region in such a powerful way that crowds of people will be falling on their knees, weeping and crying out to God in repentance and humiliation, right in the streets and malls and schools and businesses and churches and hospitals and homes… everywhere. People running up to Christians and begging them to tell them how to know God, how to know Jesus, how to be saved and sanctified. I want to see Christians whose lives are so holy and pure and God-enveloped that people see God in them instantly. I want to see jails and bars and clubs and covens and temples of false religions just fold up because no one goes there anymore, because they are pouring into churches and cell groups to seek God, and pouring out into the streets to preach the gospel to every creature. We’re busy preparing the system of the New Testament church, but without the power of God that they knew and experienced, and that surely God intends for us too, if we’ll only truly want Him, pursue Him until He turns and lifts us up into His arms. Without God truly at the total center and right out to the farthest reaches of our beings, without that, all our imitating of the system of the early church is only creating empty containers. Oh God, fill us! Not just with occasional blessings, occasional warm fuzzies or even temporary “power” but with You, You, You! In all Your power and glory, in all Your aspect, all Your fulness, Father, Son, Holy Spirit, One God now and forever. Amen! Oh dear God, start with me – now! Return to the top
Main Page \| My Articles for The Life Connection \| Prayers and Meditations \| Poetry Haida Gwaii Reflections \| Education & Home-School \| Family


	Main Page \| My Articles for The Life Connection \| Prayers and Meditations \| Poetry Haida Gwaii Reflections \| Education & Home-School \| Family
Sign Guestbook \| View Guestbook Comments? Questions? [email protected]	Prayer topics Repenting, Humbling, Committing Myself... Seeking God's Glory Submission to my Husband Seeking Approval From My Children and Others Our Church Needs Your Power and Glory... But Repentance First Intensive Repentant Prayer and Fasting I Want God Alone! I Want People to See God (Not Me) God's Almighty Transforming Power Poured Out in Our Midst Repenting, Humbling, Committing Myself... Seeking God's Glory Date: October 27, 2004 I’ve been reading Extreme God Chasers. The story the author told about the power of God coming down in a service he was at, was exactly the kind of thing I’ve longed to see and experience. Oh yes, I have in the past had some pretty intense experiences… but I want to know the real power of God. I want to see His glory! Reading this book I have realized some things. We need to really repent, really humble ourselves, really pursue God, without being willing to settle for less than all His Glory. God won’t give us all His glory as long as we are only halfway committed, as long as we hold anything back. For me that includes my relationship with my husband and kids, and my lack of submission to my husband. No excuses will do! And without the glory of God, our cell church system is just that, another system, another programmed approach. While I was reading I got so convicted, so desperate, that I threw myself face down on the floor and wept. Then when I was reading again, every so often something would really grab me – God talking right to me – and I would just burst out crying or laughing. And praying in tongues, way more than I have for so long, maybe more than ever before. But I was afraid maybe it was just me being emotional and wondered if it was really God talking. Return to the top Submission to My Husband Date: October 27, 2004 Then I went to a different life group, and they were discussing Ephesians, and God’s requirements for husbands and wives, and about submission. And oh, I just was so overwhelmed, yes, God was speaking to me from that book, and that is the number one area where I must lay myself on the altar of sacrifice and totally give up all my feelings, pain, anger, independence, plans, dreams… before God can really reveal His glory, reveal Himself to my in that powerful way which I have longed for so long. How can I truly love God when I don’t truly love my husband? I was just speechless, and tears were coming down my cheeks. Return to the top Seeking Approval From My Children and Others Date: October 27, 2004 The other thing I got there was that I have to give up my obsessive need for approval from people and even from God. When I was reading the book, the kids kept popping in, and every time I heard them coming I’d jump back up (from praying prostrate before God) and try not to act weird! I kind of let loose with ___ a bit, trying to explain a bit what I was hearing and discovering from God, but when she said I get kind of “insane” when I get hyper, I kind of just clammed up. So I knew right then when those things were happening with the kids that I was quenching the Spirit. And I did it at the life group, too. I couldn’t stop the tears from coming, but I sure managed to hang onto my composure otherwise, and didn’t say what God was really showing me because I was afraid of what they already thought about my tears, and what they’d think if I went further, or talked about what God was really showing me. Return to the top Our Church Needs Your Power and Glory... But Repentance First Date: October 27, 2004 And when I was reading this morning I was so convicted that our church is not going places because we don’t have the real power and glory of God. Oh, once in awhile we have a “moving” Sunday morning worship, but that’s about it. Our life groups are perhaps growing a bit, but not like God wants. Because we sit around and have our little discussions and sing our little tunes and talk about how wonderful it is that we’re following the cell church model. Well, one thing that a cell church or any church, any gathering of believers, needs is really truly deep repentance and sorrow and humility and willingness to totally lay each of ourselves on the altar and die as a total sacrifice to God… every aspect of our beings. Total sorrow for our sins, the sins of our families, churches, community, region, world. Return to the top Intensive Repentant Prayer and Fasting Date: October 27, 2004 Until we reach that point, which includes a huge amount of deep, intensive, repentant and intercessory prayer and fasting (which we do not do) then we’re just going to keep sitting around and talking about how we should operate our cells and our church, and complain and criticize our leaders and our path, instead of praying, praying, praying for them and truly supporting them. Until we do that, we’re really just playing church. Sure, once in a while we get a “blessing,” but are we actually getting God? No! Because if we were, we’d get blown away! We are willing to settle for so little, a few converts and baptisms, a few good services, a couple new life groups, a very occasional healing. But oh, oh, oh how much we are missing. Return to the top I Want God Alone! I Want People to see God!(Not Me) God's Almighty Transforming Power Poured Out in OUr Midst Date: October 27, 2004 I don’t care so much about “blessings” or even “gifts” anymore. I want God Himself in His power and glory. Yes, I know He is “dangerous.” I know it will truly take death of all I hold dear. But without really pursuing God and experiencing Him on that level, what really is the point? No wonder most people don’t go to churches. They truly don’t see anything really worth having in the lives of most Christians. People are spiritually hungry, they can’t help it, God made them that way, and He’s pursuing them – but His plan is to use us – for people to see Him rather than us (no matter how nice and spiritual we might be) when they look our way. And how are they going to see Him, when we’re holding so much back? We’re so easily contented with scraps of things, gifts, blessings, when our Father really want to give Himself. But we don’t want to go that far. Or do we? I want to. I want to throw myself on the altar of sacrifice and die to all that is me. I want God alone. I want people who know nothing of God (other than the empty longing in their heart) to be able to just look my way or stand beside me, and see God! (not me). "God's Almighty Transforming Power Poured Out in Our Midst" I want to pray and pray and pray, and fast and fast. I want to fall on my face before God. I want to get together with God’s people and weep and cry and intercede for my family, my friends and relatives, my life group, my church, the church of Christ in this community, the huge masses of lost people in this town. I want to see my church repent so deeply that people going by will be pulled inside, and stumble to the altar and cry out to God in repentance, and be saved and baptized and know God! And then go out and pull others in. I want the power to go out of the church door and down the streets of my neighborhood and city and region in such a powerful way that crowds of people will be falling on their knees, weeping and crying out to God in repentance and humiliation, right in the streets and malls and schools and businesses and churches and hospitals and homes… everywhere. People running up to Christians and begging them to tell them how to know God, how to know Jesus, how to be saved and sanctified. I want to see Christians whose lives are so holy and pure and God-enveloped that people see God in them instantly. I want to see jails and bars and clubs and covens and temples of false religions just fold up because no one goes there anymore, because they are pouring into churches and cell groups to seek God, and pouring out into the streets to preach the gospel to every creature. We’re busy preparing the system of the New Testament church, but without the power of God that they knew and experienced, and that surely God intends for us too, if we’ll only truly want Him, pursue Him until He turns and lifts us up into His arms. Without God truly at the total center and right out to the farthest reaches of our beings, without that, all our imitating of the system of the early church is only creating empty containers. Oh God, fill us! Not just with occasional blessings, occasional warm fuzzies or even temporary “power” but with You, You, You! In all Your power and glory, in all Your aspect, all Your fulness, Father, Son, Holy Spirit, One God now and forever. Amen! Oh dear God, start with me – now! Return to the top
Main Page \| My Articles for The Life Connection \| Prayers and Meditations \| Poetry Haida Gwaii Reflections \| Education & Home-School \| Family