Conversations, Reflections & Meditations


	Main Page \| My Articles for The Life Connection \| Prayers and Meditations \| Poetry Haida Gwaii Reflections \| Education & Home-School \| Family
Sign Guestbook \| View Guestbook Comments? Questions? [email protected]	Prayer topics I Don't Want to Be Ashamed in Your Presence, Lord Old Hymn Words Rising Up In Me We Must Repent and Submit and Pray I Don't Want to Be Ashamed In Your Presence, Lord Date: May 22, 2005 Dear Heavenly Father, I have often wondered why I seem to be “held back” for so long as far as ministering goes (outside the family). It came to me this morning – from You, I believe – that I must wait for my husband to take his place of spiritual leadership, and to do that I must hold myself back, and patiently love him, encourage him, pray for him – but not push him. That is Your work, Lord. And me stepping out only holds him back, for whatever reasons. I have some idea about those reasons, but it is really irrelevant in that the key thing here is for me to be obedient to You in this issue, Lord. I was reading today and was really taken to heart by this verse: “When I am weak, it is then that I am strong” (2 Cor 12:10b). I am right now in a place of physical, and yes, emotional and spiritual weakness. This is good because it forces me to turn to You and rely on Your strength and power. So thank You! I find my conscience is very tender these days. On my paper route, if I am in a hurry and don’t close a mailbox properly, I find I must go back and close it all the way because it is important to do my work well, it is reflecting on Jesus when I claim to be a Christian, His follower. And wet newspapers is not a good witness! Also, when I am talking, I sense when I am about to gossip, saying hurtful things. Sometimes I stop myself, but not always, just as I don’t always go back to the mailbox. But I want to do better, to be “squeaky-clean,” Lord. I want to live a holy, Christ-like life. I don’t like to come into Your presence carrying a load of shame, Lord. I find it harder and harder to ignore these things in my life, Lord. But I also sometimes find my old self-will and rebellious fleshly part kicking up and ignoring Your voice, and going ahead and doing what “I” want, anyway. Oh, dear Jesus, please forgive me and please keep helping me to live submissively and in love and trust and obedience. Oh! That’s what submissiveness is, isn’t it! Trust and obedience because of love! Wow! I just saw that this minute. Thank You! That is so easy to understand. Why didn’t I see it before, I wonder? Was it just that my heart was closed to being truly submissive? To You – and to my husband, too. I am really looking forward to camp, Lord, and to leading. I was going to write “facilitating” but I feel You are telling me to accept “leading.” But Lord, only through Your leadership over me, please! Thank You. I still don’t have a “plan” but I believe You are giving me some pretty clear indication and sense of Your purpose, and I am getting excited, anticipating Your plans and path and direction. I want to talk to You about the way my mind gets caught up with things, like the ridiculous politics lately in both British Columbia and in Ottawa. And the foolish mix-up with my papers the last couple days. And other things over which I have little or no control…. But over which I find myself actually panicking. I am finding it really hard sometimes to remember to just hand them over to You right away. Oh, dear God, please forgive me and help me in this area. And Lord, I’ve been thinking about my “Secret Sister.” I was thinking about how little and cute she is, how her kids seem to be so “good” with the youth group they attend and the mission trip they are taking to Mexico, and how loving she is with her husband, and I was kind of feeling jealous. But then I thought of her losing both her parents in less than a year, and I realized we all have troubles that You are using to make us more Christ-like, and to teach us love. And know what? I don’t think I want her set of troubles! Mine are enough. You do know what each of us needs or can handle, because You made us and You know us infinitely better than we could ever know ourselves. You know our beginning and our end, and You always have, and it is all in Your control. What an awesome thing! Return to the top Old Hymn Words Rising Up In Me Date: May 22, 2005 “Lord, spare nothing in me that would hinder the flowing of the rivers of the water of life. Carry thy cross to every root and corner of my most secret being.” (Mrs Cowman, Springs in the Valley, May 21). I believe this is God’s message for those of us who would pray at camp. Cleanse us first, Lord! Then You can pour out Your power. Then we can be “extreme God-chasers.” Then true revival – God’s glory, not just His anointing – can come! Old hymn words are rising up in me… and scriptures, calling me, calling us, to You, in complete, utter, total submission, consecration, holiness… complete and utter and total sanctification. Almighty God! Open our hearts to their very depths, dear God. Cut, cleave, cleanse us with the light and power and pain of Your sharp two-edged sword, till all we can do is fall on our faces prostrate before You in pain and agony of spirit, as we face the truth of our selfishness, our shallowness, our rebelliousness, our horrible, filthy rags of sin and pain and degradation! Rescue us, Lord, from our path to hell, and prepare us for a visitation of Your Spirit such as we have never before dared to even imagine or experience. Oh God, open our hearts to You alone. Help us to cast off all, every morsel, every tidbit, of our selfish desires and longing, every tiny thing that holds us back from You. You are God Almighty. We should be as nothing in Your sight. And yet You created us, You love us, You long for us. You long for us! You want us to be in eternal relationship, communion, love with You, in Your presence where “no man can see You and live!” Oh dear God, please, please, please make us dead men before You, that we might truly live before You and with You, now and forever in Your glorious grace and love and glory and presence! Glory! Power! Hallelujah! What a mighty God we serve! Praise Your holy name! Amen and Amen! Use me, Lord. But oh, dear God, let people see only You. Hide me, Lord, behind the shadow of Your old rugged cross. (I understand that picture better now, Lord). Return to the top We Must Repent and Submit and Pray Date: May 23, 2005 Dear Lord, What a mighty Word, what a mighty prayer You gave me last night. I just read it again. O dear God, please fulfill Your Word, here, now, in my life, in my family, in my church, in my community – and, O Lord, at camp this summer! Praise Your holy name! Thank You, Lord. Up to now, I have been trying to figure out how we can do the things of the early church. But that is not the point at all. The whole point is knowing Jesus, obeying Him, praying and waiting upon Him for His promise, experiencing His promise of the filling of the Holy Spirit, and going forth in that power and glory to allow God to use our weak vessels to bring His glory to the world. It’s all about our weakness, which absolutely must be recognized through deep and utter repentance and total destruction of our self-sufficiency and self-righteous attitudes and beliefs. And its total replacement with God’s strength. And the continual walking thereafter in His strength alone – to His glory alone! We cannot give God the glory, not truly, unless we first allow His glory to be poured out on all flesh. And flesh must die in order for that to happen. We say that when we are saved or born again, that we are new creatures, that in God’s eyes we are perfect. But if that is true, we must live according to that every moment, not just “bask in the afterglow.” God wants a bride that is perfect! Oh God, help Your church to cast itself before You in utter shame, humbling, repentance. “Change my heart, O God… Make it ever true… Let me be like You… Mold and make me… Jesus, oh Jesus, come and fill your land…” Thank You, Lord, for the confirmation You have given me – that traditional barriers must be broken, that Your church must unite, that we must repent and pray together earnestly as long as it takes, till Your glory breaks through and destroys the strongholds and Your Kingdom breaks forth! Glory hallelujah! Thank You for the old-time hymns of Your glory and truth and power; and repentance and submission by Your people. Thank You that You are preparing to break loose in this city and region and province and nation and continent and world, if only we will truly bow before You and be prepared to die in order to see Your life burst forth, in us first, and then Your church, then down the aisles, out the doors, and throughout communities and regions and into all the world. Glory, Jesus! Lord, please help me be a good neighbour to my neighbours. Thank You, Lord. Bring them to Yourself. Amen. Thank You for Your car. And yes, I still want to preach Your word, challenge Your people, reach out in whatever prophetic or other ministry You have for me. For Jesus’ glory, in Jesus glory! Make me a warrior princess for You, Lord. I want to be “wild at heart” for You! Amen! Return to the top
Main Page \| My Articles for The Life Connection \| Prayers and Meditations \| Poetry Haida Gwaii Reflections \| Education & Home-School \| Family


	Main Page \| My Articles for The Life Connection \| Prayers and Meditations \| Poetry Haida Gwaii Reflections \| Education & Home-School \| Family
Sign Guestbook \| View Guestbook Comments? Questions? [email protected]	Prayer topics I Don't Want to Be Ashamed in Your Presence, Lord Old Hymn Words Rising Up In Me We Must Repent and Submit and Pray I Don't Want to Be Ashamed In Your Presence, Lord Date: May 22, 2005 Dear Heavenly Father, I have often wondered why I seem to be “held back” for so long as far as ministering goes (outside the family). It came to me this morning – from You, I believe – that I must wait for my husband to take his place of spiritual leadership, and to do that I must hold myself back, and patiently love him, encourage him, pray for him – but not push him. That is Your work, Lord. And me stepping out only holds him back, for whatever reasons. I have some idea about those reasons, but it is really irrelevant in that the key thing here is for me to be obedient to You in this issue, Lord. I was reading today and was really taken to heart by this verse: “When I am weak, it is then that I am strong” (2 Cor 12:10b). I am right now in a place of physical, and yes, emotional and spiritual weakness. This is good because it forces me to turn to You and rely on Your strength and power. So thank You! I find my conscience is very tender these days. On my paper route, if I am in a hurry and don’t close a mailbox properly, I find I must go back and close it all the way because it is important to do my work well, it is reflecting on Jesus when I claim to be a Christian, His follower. And wet newspapers is not a good witness! Also, when I am talking, I sense when I am about to gossip, saying hurtful things. Sometimes I stop myself, but not always, just as I don’t always go back to the mailbox. But I want to do better, to be “squeaky-clean,” Lord. I want to live a holy, Christ-like life. I don’t like to come into Your presence carrying a load of shame, Lord. I find it harder and harder to ignore these things in my life, Lord. But I also sometimes find my old self-will and rebellious fleshly part kicking up and ignoring Your voice, and going ahead and doing what “I” want, anyway. Oh, dear Jesus, please forgive me and please keep helping me to live submissively and in love and trust and obedience. Oh! That’s what submissiveness is, isn’t it! Trust and obedience because of love! Wow! I just saw that this minute. Thank You! That is so easy to understand. Why didn’t I see it before, I wonder? Was it just that my heart was closed to being truly submissive? To You – and to my husband, too. I am really looking forward to camp, Lord, and to leading. I was going to write “facilitating” but I feel You are telling me to accept “leading.” But Lord, only through Your leadership over me, please! Thank You. I still don’t have a “plan” but I believe You are giving me some pretty clear indication and sense of Your purpose, and I am getting excited, anticipating Your plans and path and direction. I want to talk to You about the way my mind gets caught up with things, like the ridiculous politics lately in both British Columbia and in Ottawa. And the foolish mix-up with my papers the last couple days. And other things over which I have little or no control…. But over which I find myself actually panicking. I am finding it really hard sometimes to remember to just hand them over to You right away. Oh, dear God, please forgive me and help me in this area. And Lord, I’ve been thinking about my “Secret Sister.” I was thinking about how little and cute she is, how her kids seem to be so “good” with the youth group they attend and the mission trip they are taking to Mexico, and how loving she is with her husband, and I was kind of feeling jealous. But then I thought of her losing both her parents in less than a year, and I realized we all have troubles that You are using to make us more Christ-like, and to teach us love. And know what? I don’t think I want her set of troubles! Mine are enough. You do know what each of us needs or can handle, because You made us and You know us infinitely better than we could ever know ourselves. You know our beginning and our end, and You always have, and it is all in Your control. What an awesome thing! Return to the top Old Hymn Words Rising Up In Me Date: May 22, 2005 “Lord, spare nothing in me that would hinder the flowing of the rivers of the water of life. Carry thy cross to every root and corner of my most secret being.” (Mrs Cowman, Springs in the Valley, May 21). I believe this is God’s message for those of us who would pray at camp. Cleanse us first, Lord! Then You can pour out Your power. Then we can be “extreme God-chasers.” Then true revival – God’s glory, not just His anointing – can come! Old hymn words are rising up in me… and scriptures, calling me, calling us, to You, in complete, utter, total submission, consecration, holiness… complete and utter and total sanctification. Almighty God! Open our hearts to their very depths, dear God. Cut, cleave, cleanse us with the light and power and pain of Your sharp two-edged sword, till all we can do is fall on our faces prostrate before You in pain and agony of spirit, as we face the truth of our selfishness, our shallowness, our rebelliousness, our horrible, filthy rags of sin and pain and degradation! Rescue us, Lord, from our path to hell, and prepare us for a visitation of Your Spirit such as we have never before dared to even imagine or experience. Oh God, open our hearts to You alone. Help us to cast off all, every morsel, every tidbit, of our selfish desires and longing, every tiny thing that holds us back from You. You are God Almighty. We should be as nothing in Your sight. And yet You created us, You love us, You long for us. You long for us! You want us to be in eternal relationship, communion, love with You, in Your presence where “no man can see You and live!” Oh dear God, please, please, please make us dead men before You, that we might truly live before You and with You, now and forever in Your glorious grace and love and glory and presence! Glory! Power! Hallelujah! What a mighty God we serve! Praise Your holy name! Amen and Amen! Use me, Lord. But oh, dear God, let people see only You. Hide me, Lord, behind the shadow of Your old rugged cross. (I understand that picture better now, Lord). Return to the top We Must Repent and Submit and Pray Date: May 23, 2005 Dear Lord, What a mighty Word, what a mighty prayer You gave me last night. I just read it again. O dear God, please fulfill Your Word, here, now, in my life, in my family, in my church, in my community – and, O Lord, at camp this summer! Praise Your holy name! Thank You, Lord. Up to now, I have been trying to figure out how we can do the things of the early church. But that is not the point at all. The whole point is knowing Jesus, obeying Him, praying and waiting upon Him for His promise, experiencing His promise of the filling of the Holy Spirit, and going forth in that power and glory to allow God to use our weak vessels to bring His glory to the world. It’s all about our weakness, which absolutely must be recognized through deep and utter repentance and total destruction of our self-sufficiency and self-righteous attitudes and beliefs. And its total replacement with God’s strength. And the continual walking thereafter in His strength alone – to His glory alone! We cannot give God the glory, not truly, unless we first allow His glory to be poured out on all flesh. And flesh must die in order for that to happen. We say that when we are saved or born again, that we are new creatures, that in God’s eyes we are perfect. But if that is true, we must live according to that every moment, not just “bask in the afterglow.” God wants a bride that is perfect! Oh God, help Your church to cast itself before You in utter shame, humbling, repentance. “Change my heart, O God… Make it ever true… Let me be like You… Mold and make me… Jesus, oh Jesus, come and fill your land…” Thank You, Lord, for the confirmation You have given me – that traditional barriers must be broken, that Your church must unite, that we must repent and pray together earnestly as long as it takes, till Your glory breaks through and destroys the strongholds and Your Kingdom breaks forth! Glory hallelujah! Thank You for the old-time hymns of Your glory and truth and power; and repentance and submission by Your people. Thank You that You are preparing to break loose in this city and region and province and nation and continent and world, if only we will truly bow before You and be prepared to die in order to see Your life burst forth, in us first, and then Your church, then down the aisles, out the doors, and throughout communities and regions and into all the world. Glory, Jesus! Lord, please help me be a good neighbour to my neighbours. Thank You, Lord. Bring them to Yourself. Amen. Thank You for Your car. And yes, I still want to preach Your word, challenge Your people, reach out in whatever prophetic or other ministry You have for me. For Jesus’ glory, in Jesus glory! Make me a warrior princess for You, Lord. I want to be “wild at heart” for You! Amen! Return to the top
Main Page \| My Articles for The Life Connection \| Prayers and Meditations \| Poetry Haida Gwaii Reflections \| Education & Home-School \| Family