10. Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and insist on describing the sound to others.
9. Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, "Does this taste funny to you?"
8. Consistently write three atoms of potassium as "KKK."
7. Mutter repeatedly, "Not again... not again... not again."
6. When it's very quiet, suddenly cry out, "My eyes!"
5. Deny the existence of chemicals.
4. Begin pronouncing everything your immigrant lab instructor says exactly the way he/she says it.
3. Casually walk to the front of the room and urinate in a beaker.
2. Pop a paper bag at the crucial moment when the professor is about to pour the sulfuric acid
1.Show up with a 55-gallon drum of fertilizer and express an interest in federal buildings.
She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper, and then in a bit of inspiration, takes a quarter out of her purse. She starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet "Yes" for heads and "No" for tails.
Within 30 minutes she's all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes of the exam period, Judi again frantically starts flipping the coin again.
The moderator, concerned about what she's doing, stops by and asks if she's ok.
"Oh yes, I'm fine. I finished the exam a half hour ago -- but, " explaining the frantic coin tossing, "I'm going back thru and checking my answers!"