the movie that never ends
Betty and Rodney reconcile (jeez, this is reminding me of Grease, but dull). Norman and Allison head to the pond, which is where Betty and Rodney were going. ORGY! Betty & Rodney go skinny dipping, but Norman and Allison have bathing suits. An older couple are fishing and see Betty and Rodney, but think it's Norman and Allison. Uh-oh! Back to Betty & Rodney - oh my, she's just proposed! How unconventional!
Cut to waves on the beach, where Lana and Mr. Rossi walk on the boardwalk. Say, what part of Pennsylvania are they in? Anywhat, there's a 30 second shot of a man building a ship in a bottle, followed by a full minute of lobsters.
Back to the picnic.
Then to Marian, the woman from the boat, calling the cops (presumably) on Betty & Rodney, who she thinks are Norman & Allison.
Mr. Rossi brings Lana home, and he KISSES her. And she lets him. Of course, she freezes pretty quickly and tries to send him away. He accuses her of being afraid of love, not sex. I'd say both, but I didn't write this. So he tells her, in essence, that he'll wait forever, and then leaves. She, of course, cries.
The phone rings. It's Marian, telling on Allison, who was really Betty. Lana calls Norman's mother. The kids get home and there's a fairly nasty confrontation. Allison runs upstairs after a fight about her father - apparently he was married to someone other than Lana. Dead body time!
The body was, disappointingly, in shadow, but Allison goes into shock nonetheless.
Rodey tells his father that he's married Betty, and Dad says he'll get it anulled. Rodney disowns Dad, or tries to, but Dad gives him a job at the mill.
After a week of not speaking, Allison announces that she's leaving Peyton Place - and Lana - to go to New York. She delivers a real stinger about living "off some man, like you did." Lana cries on the stairs. Poor Lana.
Selena begs Allison not to go, but Allison goes. The old Greyhound buses looked real cool.
Allison has another voice-oer about Peyton Place. And autumn leaves. And homesickness. And Pearl Harbor. Dude, I thought this was set in '39, not '44. At least I was right about all the boys going to war. But...but...the girls are all crying. Where's the lesbian lovin'?
Rodney and Dad have a touching moment when Dad promises to look after Betty. Ted and Selena say goodbye. Poor Selena.
Allison VO - blah blah blah Peyton Place blah blah blah.
Norman writes to Mr. Rossi that he dug a foxhole so deep it was just short of desertion. That got a geniune laugh from me.
Allison VO about letters from Selena. Rodney was killed in action. Dad and Betty have a touching scene at the memorial.
A girl in the shop tells Selena that Mr. Rossi is leaving town. Lana overhears and brings him a Christmas prezzie. Lana then tells Mr. Rossi everything, and instead of killing her in discgust he tells her he loves her.
At Selena's, Lucas shows up again. He and Selena fight, and poor Joey watches his as sister beats Lucas, presumably to death.
Cut to Easter. Everyone recites the Lord's Prayer, and you can hear the echo from the recording studio.
The Navy shows up to ask Selena if she's seen Lucas. She says no, but after they leave she confesses to Lana that she killed him. Holy hell, this is awful. Lana calls the police.
Cut to a train, where Allison ansd Norman run into each other. Allison is going home for Selena's trial. Norman, who's taken up smoking (and therefore obviously grown up), is going home to try to make up with his mother now that he's happy to be alive. Allison is upset but won't tell Norman McFlirty why.
A newspaper tells us Selena is out on bail. I wonder who paid it - Lana maybe? Selena visits the Doctor, who's gardening, and begs him not to tell anyone that she was pregnant, so that she won't ruin Rodney's life. He agrees.
Allison arrives and a lawyer insists that Selena's case isn't good. I tend to agree. I wonder if Lana will figure it out.
Lana finds Allison at the diner and is given the cold shoulder. Poor Lana.
A million minutes of deadtime later, we cut to the courtroom. After a full minute of everyone arriving, the trial starts. Little Joey testifies, then Selena. The prosecuter's a real meanie.
want to know how it ends? I didn't either!