WORLD CUP FEVER - June 22

Group F

Colombia

Tunisia

Romania

England


Arrived at the Velvet Room, top of Charing Cross Road, between Boots and the Astoria, 30 secs from Tottenham Court Road tube, in time to see the end of the Colombia/ Tunisia game. A 0-0 would suit England, it was decided, so we're a bit disappointed when Preciado scored in the last few minutes. They had a second disallowed for offside and Tunisia looked very poor.

The air-conditioned, 'sleek and stylish basement bar', proved a pleasant venue (thanks, it was my idea, wanted to get away from sweaty pubs for once, being a big girl's bra) and a decent turnout led to a bet on the first goalscorer. And to think - at 3pm, I was sick of it all, ready to say 'sod the lot of you' and go home and watch it on my own. And pack in my job. Get multiple-piercings and emigrate to Alaska. Er... so with this bet, three went for Shearer, two for Owen and Scholes, one for Adams and one for Batty (nice one Darren). Paul, who doesn't know much about football, went for Ilie on my recommendation and was then roundly condemned for supporting the opposition. To get a winner, we also had to nominate the minute our player would score his goal (closest wins). As it turned out we were all wrong because, ha ha, the first goal was scored by Viorel Moldovan, who's struggled to get a regular place for Coventry but always does the business for Romania. I was returning from the gents at the time so I considered the goal my fault and promise never to go to the toilet again, as long as I live. Or until the World Cup is over. Despite England's woeful display, I was still confident they'd score. As time went on, the howls for Owen to replace the ineffective Sheringham grew louder, from inside the stadium and inside evey home and pub in the country probably. If Hoddle could overcome his reluctance to be seen to give in to public pressure he'd have started Owen. And Beckham - who replaced the injured Paul Ince, but otherwise I feel he wouldn't have had a chance. As it was, he did well, but the passing was dismal and Romania were allowed far too much possession. Nearly every side I've seen in this World Cup has passed the ball better then we did last night. Oh, and finally Owen scored to everyone's relief and delight. A man came round with a bucket full of playing cards which could be exchanged for a free drink. And just as we'd done that, Petrescu runs on to a long ball, bullies Le Saux out of the way, elbows all over the place, and slips the ball between Seaman's legs. 90 minutes is on the clock. However, an insane lager-fuelled optimism holds sway for the period of time added on, and then it's all over. England only played with their backs to the wall, and never looked like a top quality side. Barely deserved to draw, really. Do we look like we're capable of beating France, Brazil, Italy? And how about Argentina, who we'll face next Tuesday in the Second Round, presuming we can get a draw against Colombia in our third game and finish second in Group G. I feel gutted, also rather drunk. Although I should obviously never drink again until the World Cup is over because it only leads to an England defeat. And then everyone leaves, the big screen rolls up, a DJ takes over, and we start dancing. I get home, turn on C4's Under the Moon, and who's one of the guests? Uri Geller.

England are at least going to qualify, aren't they? It's all going to be over, soon.

Results:

Colombia (0) 1

Tunisia (0) 0

Preciado 83


Romania (0) 2

England (0) 1

Moldovan 46
Petrescu 90

Owen 83


le saux and ince in training

Shots off target:

The head of the German FA broke down in tears and offered to withdraw his team from the tournament after hundreds of German hooligans and neo-Nazis went berserk in Lens. (England play Colombia in Lens on Friday.)

Two South African players were sent home after staying out all night, drinking and carrying on, including Naughty Mokoena, living up to his name there Kevin. Two Bulgarians did the same and are getting fined because their names are Stoichkov and Penev and they're still in the competition, just.

Norway's coach Egil Olsen was furious at being called a 'socialist'. He insists he's a communist. He also insists that Scotland are rubbish and that he's a better coach than Brazil's Zagallo.

Iran's manager has lived in California for the last 17 years.

(Not necessarily the World Cup but I've got a lot of them) Football Quote of the Day:
'I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.' Stuart Pearce


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