WORLD CUP FEVER - June 23

Group B

	Italy		Austria
	Chile		Cameroon

Group A

	Brazil		Norway
	Scotland		Morocco

There is nicking out some say bunking off to see the second half of Italy v Austria in the pub with a refreshing glass of pop. Goals are scored, and some ghastly oik comes in and says very loudly to no one in particular: 'Oh no, it's the fucking eyeties.' I wonder what he would have said if the other game was showing. He then got shirty with the barstaff because the choice of food available wasn't to his liking. And he stood in my way.

But you don't care about that! You want excitement, controversy, drama... And if you watched the Cameroon's game, and indeed if you support them, you probably experienced giant bucketloads of excitement, controversy and drama, as they had three goals disallowed and two players sent off. Some say there was a conspiracy against them, but really they were desperately unlucky, especially with that Austria goal cheating them of three points in their opening game. So, Chile go through having drawn all three of their games. They also treated us to the only decent goal from a free kick so far, thanks to Jose Luis Sierra.

And so to Scotland. The er... 'bravehearts'. Wouldn't it be splendid if they could, just for once, progress to the second round of a World Cup? Quite frankly, I would have been as pleased as the next man if they had put on a fine display and beat the Moroccans. Not that I've got anything against Moroccans you understand. But they didn't. They were, let's face it, piss-poor and don't deserve a place in the last 16. They didn't win a game and only scored two goals, and one of those was a penalty. Morocco played some attractive football and looked delighted when the final whistle went. But they hadn't seen their manager kicking the bench in frustration a few seconds earlier. Because he had heard, as nearly everyone except the Moroccan players had heard, that Norway had pulled off a totally unexpected victory over Brazil in Marseille. Rarely has joy turned to despair so quickly on the field of football. Ah, indeed, there is a lesson there to be learned by us all. though I'm buggered if I know what it is.

So the jammy Norwegians, who had been resolutely dull and uninspired in their first two games, beat the mighty Brazil. How did they do it? Well, Brazil had already qualified in first place and rested a few of their big names. They still took the lead though, though Bebeto, whose face just annoys me and he did that baby-rocking thing in the last World Cup which is just the crappest goal celebration ever. Chelsea's Tore Andre Flo equalised, and Norway were awarded a distinctly dubious penalty a minute from full time. It's a conspiracy, I hear you cry. No it's not, it's football mate. It's a game, and it's not fair. A bit like life really. [And Flo's shirt was pulled as we all found out later.] Bye bye Morocco, bye bye Scotland. Get on that stoopid plane...

Results:

Italy (0) 2	Austria (0) 1
Vieri 49 R Baggio 90	Herzog 90 (pen)

Chile (1) 1 Cameroon (1) 1 Sierra 21 Mboma 56 Morocco (1) 3 Scotland (0) 0 Bassir 22, 85 Hadda 47 Brazil (0) 1 Norway (0) 2 Bebeto 78 Tore A Flo 83 Rekdal 89 (pen)

Final groups:

Group A P W D L F A Pts Brazil 3 2 0 1 6 3 6 Norway 3 1 2 0 5 4 5 Morocco 3 1 1 1 5 5 4 Scotland 3 0 1 2 2 6 1 Group B P W D L F A Pts Italy 3 2 1 0 7 3 7 Chile 3 0 3 0 4 4 3 Austria 3 0 2 1 3 4 2 Cameroon 3 0 2 1 2 5 2

Shots off target:

How's that goals-per-game average going, I hear you ask. Well, I make it 2.53 goals per game. How very interesting.

'Dismal, depressing, amateurish. There are not enough words to describe how badly Kevin Keegan performed in Toulouse last night.' from the 'football.guardian - Fiver' news service. Keggy Keeble has been one of the World Cup lowlights so far. I'm itching to show the red card to him. One more useless joke, Keegan, and you're off...

Tunisian coach Henryk Kasperczak has got the sack as well. It's a tough job... who's next? How far will England have to go in order for Hoddle to keep his job? The papers are full of stories that Bryan Robson (please noooo) is 2-1 to be the next England manager. I think, barring defeat against Colombia which is of course unthinkable, Hoddle will survive to lead us into Euro 2000 at least. Before returning to Chelsea after Vialli's had enough.

Tony Adams, Gareth Southgate, Paul Ince and Paul Scholes are struggling to get fit for Friday's game.

Gloddle thought England's best player against Romania was... Darren Anderton. Alex Ferguson criticised Hoddle for letting Beckham go to a press conference after he was dropped and for saying he didn't have the right mental attitude going into the World Cup.

(Not necessarily the World Cup but I've got a lot of them) Football Quote of the Day:
'Peru score their third, and it's 3-1 to Scotland.' David Coleman (1978)